


Chasing Darkness

by ashtraythief



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Bottom Jared, Even Chad, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Minor Character Death, Prostitution, Slow Build, Space monsters, Violence, everybody is a badass, mentions of war and child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 05:49:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 86,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4293093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtraythief/pseuds/ashtraythief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Discharged from the military after the war and unable to find a regular job, Jensen and Dani end up on JD’s mining planet Wora. It’s one of the most hostile environments in the Old Galaxy, but the pay is astronomical. The job sounds easy enough: protect the miners. While battling the demons of his past, Jensen meets Jared, a beautiful, sought after companion, who is isolated by his own secrets. Jared had come to Wora, dragged by Chad, with the need to make some serious money. It doesn’t take Jensen long to figure out Jared’s secret and he has to decide how much he’s willing to risk to protect him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [spn_j2_bigbang](http://spn-j2-bigbang.livejournal.com/) on livejournal. See the [masterpost](http://ashtraythief.livejournal.com/57814.html) for more information and notes.  
>   
> I was so thrilled to get to work with the incredibly talented [lightthesparks](http://lightthesparks.livejournal.com/) on this one. She did truly wonderful pieces for the story, capturing the characters beautifully, and put up with all my uncoordinated, last minute requests gracefully. All the awesome art included in the fic was done by her and you can check out many more posters and pics here on [her masterpost!](http://lightthesparks.livejournal.com/114401.html)  
>   
> Please don't share this story or any of my works on third-party websites like Goodreads or Booklikes, who I believe are places for published works, not fanfiction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
  
  
  
Sam Smith had a good life. She was an excellent hunter; no one could move through the frozen forests as silently as she could. Her home was a harsh desert of wind and cold, but she lived with a group of good friends. Not many people sought out the hunting outposts on Deloona, but Sam didn’t mind. They were a tight-knit community, everybody watching out for each other. Theirs was a rough life, but there was something about the clear beauty of the icy landscapes around them, the white only sparsely dotted with the bluish underbrush and the high grey winter firs, that made it worth it.  
  
Sometimes though, in the quiet of her own cabin, she wished she had someone to share it with. She didn’t wish for a partner, Sam had never been good with relationships, but she’d love to care for someone, share her warmth and food with someone, give her love to someone. _Raise_ someone. Sam longed to have a child. Maybe it was time to go into the city.  
  
It was a long trek down into Calura, especially when Sam’s sleigh was weighed down with the highly-coveted alam pelts. Those tiny creatures had one of the finest furs in the Old Galaxy and rich people paid a hefty price for it.  
  
Sam sold them to Old Mark, a shrewd but fair tradesman, before she made her way to the city center. She hoped the money would be enough to pay the medical center's bills, otherwise she’d have to wait for another hunting season.  
  
When she took a turn in the road, a woman stumbled into her.  
  
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sam said.  
  
The woman had the typical off-planet look: lips bluish from the cold and clothes not nearly thick enough to keep off the low temperatures. She looked harried, eyes darting around nervously.  
  
Worriedly, Sam looked her up and down to check for frostbite. “Are you alright?”  
  
The woman didn’t react to Sam’s question, she just clutched Sam’s arms, touched her fingers to Sam’s cheek, and scrunched up her forehead in concentration.  
  
“Listen,” Sam started. “You should probably go inside, this cold can be—” Sam swayed on her feet. For a moment she’d felt something pushing at her, but there was no one on the street besides her and the shivering woman.  
  
“You want a child,” the woman suddenly rasped out, face smoothing out in relief. “You long to have a child of your own.”  
  
Sam froze. “How do you know?”  
  
The woman finally opened her eyes and looked at Sam, irises compelling in their strangely multi-colored swirls. Her long, wavy hair was snow white, but her face looked young, much younger than Sam’s. “I’m pregnant,” the woman said, voice steady. “And I’ll die soon. I have no one to take care of my child.”  
  
Sam looked down at the woman’s round belly, barely covered by her threadbare jacket. “There’s an Alliance base in the city. You can bring the child there and they’ll—”  
  
“No,” the woman said sharply, her fingers digging into Sam’s arm with surprising strength. “No Alliance.”  
  
Sam didn’t hate the Alliance, but she had no love for it either. Deloona had been part of the Alliance for a long time, and except for the tax collectors, they were mostly left to their own devices. She didn’t think Deloona got much out of being a part of the Alliance, but they were too small a planet, with too little inhabitants, in an unimportant solar system that didn’t warrant a seat in the Security Council. Their representative in the Assembly didn’t even have a voting right.  
  
The woman in her arms was still looking at her imploringly, so Sam shook her head. “No Alliance.”  
  
The woman was shivering violently now.  
  
“You still need to go somewhere warm,” Sam pointed out. “How about we find a place to sleep for the night?”  
  
The woman nodded. She didn’t seem worried anymore; despite the shivers racking her body she exuded calm and quiet serenity. Together, they checked into a little hotel.  
  
The woman curled up on one of the beds, warming herself under the blankets. “My name is Mari. I’m going to tell you a story,” she said. “And when I’m done you can decide if you want to take in my child when the time comes.”  
  
“Look,” Sam tried to soothe her, “I know a birth can be challenging, but we have good doctors out here, nothing is going to happen to you or the child.”  
  
Mari gave her a tired smile. “Just listen to me.”  
  
And Sam did. Mari talked for hours and with growing horror, Sam listened. In the end, she couldn’t deny her. Sam touched Mari’s rounded belly and felt the child underneath move. She was already in love.  
  
“It’s a boy,” Mari said. “I want to name him Jared.”  
  
Sam nodded.  
  
The next morning, they traveled back to Sam’s cabin. She introduced Mari as a distant cousin escaping a bad relationship. Her friends were sympathetic and no one asked questions.  
  
Jared was born on the darkest night of the year and his mother smiled tiredly. “I wrote a letter. I know it’s not enough, but when the time comes, will you give it to him and tell him all about his father and me?”  
  
Sam nodded. “Of course. I will tell him about his mother, the strongest woman I have ever met.”  
  
Mari took her hand. “You’ll be his mother. And you will be wonderful.”  
  
Mari died at sunrise. It was like she had forced her body to hold it together until her baby was born and safe, and Sam wasn’t sure that wasn’t exactly what had happened.  
  
Together with the whole village, holding little Jared sleeping peacefully wrapped in a blue alam pelt blanket in her arms, Sam buried Mari in their cemetery. She didn’t know what the future would hold for her child, but she vowed to do everything in her power to protect him and his secret.

 

 


	2. Part One

  


 

  
  
_20 years later_

 

  
  
There were only a handful of moments that shaped and reshaped Jared’s life drastically. While all of them had been surprising, terrifying and highly unlikely, not one of them had been quite as dramatic as Chad Michael Murray crashing into his life.  
  
The crashing part happened quite literally when a small one person transport pod flew straight into the block hut Jared had grown up in. Thankfully, Jared was outside tending to his latest tooka kill when the pod fell out of the sky and crashed directly through the roof without even trying to slow down.  
  
“What the…”  
  
The snow that was gathered on the roof slightly dampened the sound of the impact, but there was still an earsplitting crash when the pod crashed through the metal shingles. For a moment, Jared stood frozen, gaping at his hut clouded in swirled up snow, before he startled into motion, running towards the house. He really hoped the pod had been unmanned.  
  
The front wall was still standing and Jared pushed the door open to the destruction that used to be his living room. The sofas and table were buried underneath the pod, the slim wall lamps were either destroyed or flickering weakly, several of his mother’s nature prints had fallen off the walls, and the little figurine of a princess had toppled over. Powdered snow from the roof had fallen inside, covering the whole room in a white dusting.  
  
With a metallic screech, the pod’s door opened and a blue haired guy half fell outside, his legs still caught in the pod while his body limply slid head first out of the opening.  
  
He coughed pathetically and Jared darted forward to pull him out of the wreckage.  
  
“Shit!” The guy was wheezing when Jared helped him sit down in the debris, but he gave Jared a blinding smile anyway. “Thanks man. What a trip, I swear! I thought for sure I was done for, but all the snow sure cushions your fall.”  
  
Jared was still gripping the guy’s hand and by now he had started getting bursts of his mind; food at the forefront of it, followed by a peaceful field filled with blue flowers softly wafting in the breeze as far as the eye could see.  
  
Jared couldn’t even fathom where to begin, so he pulled his hand back and asked the most important question first. “Are you hurt?”  
  
The guy shook his head. His vibrant blue hair was plastered to his face by melting snow and he was squinting his blue-grey eyes at Jared.  
  
“Nah, I think I just turned into one giant, bruised icicle — Shit, it’s fucking freezing.”  
  
It was no wonder, with his black leather pants, silky black shirt with just a red vest covering it; he was hardly dressed for these temperatures. Jared might have taken off his thick parka when he started to eviscerate the tooka, but he was still wearing gray thermo pants and a two layer, woolen pullover over his thermo undershirt.  
  
“What the infinity happened?” Jared asked, helping the guy up carefully.  
  
This man was either the victim of a very bad technical malfunction or he was on the run. Their planet didn’t see a lot of outsiders, too uninhabitable for most people, making their visitors either tradespeople, merchants, or those who were hiding. And with the startling blue hair, tips a lighter washed out color, and his fancy-looking, impractical clothes, this guy was definitely not from around here.  
  
Blue hair gave him a calculating look before scanning the hut — or what was left of it anyways.  
  
“Sorry about your house,” he said and started rooting around in one of his pant pockets. He pulled out a money card and held it to Jared. “There should be enough coins on here to rebuild it. Now, if you could just point me into the direction of the house of a certain Sam Smith, I’d be very grateful.” Blue hair peered past Jared to the open front door and rubbed his arms. “It should be around here somewhere if the calculations weren’t completely off.”  
  
Never taking his eyes off the guy, Jared took a careful step back. He kept one of his rifles next to the door. He had no idea why this guy was looking for his mother, but it couldn’t be good.  
  
“You do know where she lives, right?” blue hair asked. “I mean, these hunting towns are supposed to be small communities, and — whoa!” Blue hair yanked up his arms when Jared reached for the gun and pointed it at him.  
  
“What do you want with Sam Smith?” Jared asked slowly. Blue hair was definitely off-planet and there was only one person his mother had known who came from from further away than fifty miles.  
  
Blue hair turned his palms towards Jared soothingly. “Look, I don’t want to hurt her or anyone. Matter of fact, I’m here to warn her.”  
  
Cold fear spread through Jared; the one person his mother had known from off-planet was the only one who could ever bring danger here. He tried to speak steadily but his voice still shook when he asked, “warn her from what?”  
  
Blue hair dragged a hand agitatedly over his patchy, three day stubble. “It’s a long story, okay, and really complicated. Besides... really none of your business. Let’s just say there are a few nasty people on their way here and they’re _not_ the kind who treats their prisoners nicely.” He gave Jared a pointed look. “Trust me, I know.”  
  
“How do I know this is not a trick?” Jared asked. “For all I know, you could be the one looking to harm her.”  
  
He could go over there and try to see into the guy’s mind, but Jared didn’t trust him enough to get that close again. He wasn’t even sure if he could find out the truth; he’d never tried to practice his abilities like that.  
  
“Would I crash a transport pod into your home if I wasn’t running from the same guys?” Blue hair threw his hand up. “Dude, trust me, okay, I need to find her and warn her, and I need to do it _now_ ,” he said, gesticulating his hands urgently.  
  
“My name’s not _dude_ ,” Jared said irritated, because he couldn’t wrap his mind around someone finally showing up on Deloona, looking for his mom. She’d always warned him to be careful, but it had been so long since another person had realized what he could do, he’d been sure he’d be safe by now.  
  
Blue hair sighed exasperatedly. “Oh holy everfucking infinity, that’s not what’s important, you small planet hick!”  
  
“Hey, we can’t all be pod-crashing criminals!” Jared shot back, and for a moment they glared at each other while Jared tried to get his shaking hands under control.  
  
“Dude, it was either crashing a pod or getting thrown onto one of those fuck awful prison planets. I mean, do you even know what the Alliance does to people like me?” Blue hair looked at him expectantly, but continued to talk before Jared had a chance to speak. “Prison, if I’m lucky. Though I wouldn’t really call it luck. I mean my buddy Felicia got sent to this one planet where there’s not enough oxygen, so you always have to wear a suit. No fresh air, no physical contact, it’s just horrible!”  
  
To that, Jared could relate. But blue hair wasn’t done.  
  
“I mean, we got her out, but she was a wreck afterwards. And sometimes you’re not even that lucky!” The guy was walking up and down, gesticulating wildly. “The bloodsuckers use you for their own gain! Colin had to spy on people for months before he was able to get away. We had to operate the tracking chip out of his back, it was that deep in there. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes—” The guy suddenly stopped, staring at Jared. His lips quirked up in a sad smile. He was looking at Jared like he was someone else, someone this guy had cared about. Then he seemed to remember what he was talking about and his face was filled with rage again.  
  
“These fuckers don’t give a shit about you or why you did what you did. Bringing peace and order to the Galaxy? Yeah, right.” Blue hair snorted. “The Alliance is one of the worst things that ever happened to the Old Galaxy. I mean, just look at Heyerdahl and Boecher and all the other fuckwits on the Representative Assembly. They’re worse than Mellokan slimers, just doing lip service to Pellegrino, and—”  
  
“Okay, shut up for a second,” Jared yelled. His head was swimming and he needed this guy to be quiet.  
  
“Hey, you asked,” blue hair said petulantly.  
  
Jared took a deep breath. “I just need a moment here, okay?”  
  
Blue hair sat down on one of the toppled chairs, crossed his legs and made a circling hand motion. “Go ahead. Take your time. Not like we’re in mortal danger or anything.”  
  
Jared kept his eyes on him and tried to think; blue hair was probably telling the truth and Jared knew it was a leap of faith, but there was something about the guy’s honest outrage, the true sadness in his eyes when he’d talked about his friends, that made Jared believe him.  
  
So if he was telling the truth, that meant the bounty hunters were really coming for Jared.  
  
Why he had been found now, Jared had no idea, but his heart was beating frantically inside of his chest. He rubbed his short hair, trying to stay calm. He needed to keep his head and make plans. If they found him, they’d bring him to some secret military base and experiment on him for the rest of his life. And that was only if they didn’t decide to kill him.  
  
“Just… Okay, say I believe you.”  
  
“Dude, why are _you_ freaking out like that?” blue hair asked. “Apart from me destroying your house, which, okay, not my best move maybe. But Sam Smith is the one who should be freaking out, her and her kid! So don’t look at me like that with your big puppy eyes, and—” he suddenly stopped, fixing a penetrating stare on Jared. “Fucking infinity,” he said slowly, stabbing a finger at Jared, “you're the kid, aren’t you?”  
  
Jared swallowed. Blue hair took a deep breath. For a moment, they just stared at each other in silence.  
  
“Well,” blue hair said, a cocky smile spreading over his lips. “That was one damn good landing I pulled off, if I do say so myself.”  
  
“Because that’s what important,” Jared shot back blue hair’s own words, voice shaking. Shit. They had really found him. Shit, shit, _shit_.  
  
He needed to focus. Just... focus. It wasn’t the first time he’d been in danger. Just four months ago, a rayka had almost sliced him in half during a hunt before he’d gotten away on his glider, and when he was nine, he got lost in a ice storm and almost froze to death. He had survived. He wouldn’t fall apart now. His mother had raised him better than that.  
  
“Okay.” Jared took a deep breath. “Okay. Tell me what’s going on — and why the infinity you crashed a transport pod into my house!”  
  
Blue hair raised an eyebrow. “How about we start with names? And some food? I wasn’t kidding about the maltreatment.”  
  
“I thought we had to hurry?” Jared asked.  
  
“We can take five minutes to get me something to eat. Or, I can keel over from starvation, your choice.”  
  
Rolling his eyes, Jared got a frozen meal out of his freezer and put it in the heater. “You have one minute.”  
  
Blue hair gave him a crooked grin. “Alright. The name’s Chad, Chad Michael Murray.” He gave a little bow and then looked at Jared expectantly.  
  
“Jared.”  
  
“Awesome.” Chad nodded. “Okay, so, I was on this bounty hunter’s ship — hey, don’t gimme that look. I might not always abide the law, but I never hurt anyone, okay? Stupid Alliance getting their underpants in a bunch over a few hacked files, it’s not like I stole the nuke codes, and trust me, I could’ve! Crappy security on those, lemme tell you—”  
  
Jared listened to Chad’s rant, torn between annoyance and incredulity. “Chad!” he finally yelled to shut him up. _Great._ The guy was a criminal.  
  
“Right, sorry.” Chad looked reasonably contrite. “Anyway, I escaped the holding cell and when I went through the ship’s files to find the fastest way out, I saw we were picking up another target: a woman and her son. And that’s just wrong, you know.” Chad looked Jared up and down. “Didn’t know the son would turn out to be a giant sasquatch, but that doesn’t really make it any better.”  
  
Jared rubbed a hand over his short shorn hair and started pacing. They knew he existed... His mom and him had always hoped that the Alliance hadn’t been aware of his biological mother’s pregnancy, but it seemed they’d been wrong.  
  
“How did they find me?” he asked. He wondered if it had been Sandy who’d talked, or if someone from his hunting troupe had suspected something and told a story about the weird guy who it sometimes seemed almost as if he could read minds down at the city’s bars.  
  
Chad cocked his head, steadied his stance. “You tell me. The files said you’re some kind of psychic.”  
  
The heater dinged and Jared passed Chad his meal.  
  
“I’m not psychic,” Jared protested, nervously flexing his hands. “Not like the people who travel the galaxy as fortune tellers and palm readers anyway. I can’t predict the future and I can’t just read everybody’s mind.”  
  
Chad pursed his lips before he dug into his meat-flavored nutritional loaf, the only thing Jared currently had in the freezer.  
  
“They can’t really tell the future either, you know,” Chad pointed out with a full mouth. “It’s all just parlor tricks. But the Alliance wouldn’t be after your mom and you if that was all you got. So?”  
  
Even though Chad was practically inhaling his meal, his sharp eyes never left Jared, and with grudging respect, Jared realized that Chad had maneuvered himself towards the exit.  
  
“I never hurt anyone,” Jared said. “I swear.”  
  
It had been the same thing he’d said to Sandy. She’d believed him, knew he wasn’t a bad person, but she had still broken up with him. She didn’t want to touch him anymore, not when her wishes and desires wouldn’t be her own.  
  
“Huh.” Chad swallowed the last of his meal. “Are you just being polite right now or does your mind reading thing not work all the time? Cause if you could see into my head right now…”  
  
“No, it doesn’t work like that.” Jared looked at Chad imploringly, hoping he’d believe him. “It only works with physical contact, and even then, it’s not like I can read your mind or something. It’s more that I see people’s desires, their wishes and dreams.”  
  
Chad looked at him curiously. “Really? So when you pulled me out of the pod, what did you see?”  
  
“Food and a blue flower field.”  
  
Chad looked stricken and Jared instantly hated himself for just blurting that out. He had no business knowing that about Chad. He had no business knowing any of the people’s deepest hopes and dreams, but whenever he touched someone, it was inevitable. He had no control over it.  
  
“I can’t stop it,” he said, as much to Chad as to himself. “I tried. My mom and I, we practiced, but I can’t shut it out. Whenever I touch someone for longer than a second, I just start getting these flashes.”  
  
For a moment, Chad looked pensive, then he pulled a face. “Dude, your sex life must suck.”  
  
That was so unexpected, Jared just answered honestly. “I don’t really have one.”  
  
Chad gave him a sympathetic look. “Poor kid. For that reason alone, we have to fix you.”  
  
“Fix me?”  
  
“Or at least not let the fucking Alliance find you.” Chad grinned. “Can’t have you die a virgin.”  
  
“I’m not a virgin,” Jared said defensively, but really, it was just an afterthought. He broke out into a cold sweat. “So they want to kill me?”  
  
“Not sure,” Chad replied, looking up through the hole in the ceiling. “But whatever they have planned for you, it’s nothing good. So how about we get your mom and get out of here?”  
  
“My mom is dead,” Jared said and even though it had happened almost a year ago, it still pained him to say that.  
  
“Sorry man.” Chad looked around the remnants of his home. “All the more reason to go. Or do you have anything keeping you here? Cause now that the bounty hunters know you’re here, they won’t leave this planet with you still on it.”  
  
Jared shook his head. “There isn’t anybody.”  
  
His friends, the people he’d considered family, they hadn’t understood when he’d started pulling back four years ago, when he stopped touching them, stopped confiding in them.  
  
Jared, always smiling and hugging, always affectionate Jared, had pulled away from them and he couldn’t tell them why. His mom had been very clear: no one could know. The Alliance would never stop looking for Jared’s birth mother. They didn’t know if the Alliance had known she’d been pregnant, but they couldn’t take any chances. He’d always be in danger; no one could know his secret.  
  
Chad clapped him on his shoulder. “Sorry man... But we gotta go. I’m not leaving your ass for those fuckers to find. We need to go now and hitch a ride off this freezing lump.”  
  
Jared agreed. His mom had told him it might be better to leave, especially when the sickness had set in and she’d started to waste away. She’d known that Sandy knew, that others had been suspecting something was up with Jared for a while. It was risky to stay, but Jared couldn’t leave her, and he couldn’t leave the planet that had been his home, _their_ home, after she passed away. He couldn’t leave all the memories, good and bad, that made up his life. But the past year he’d been so lonely. The people in the community had tried to support and console him, but Jared couldn’t even lean on a shoulder to cry on without being assaulted by the contents of that person’s mind.  
  
Talking to Chad, a stranger he’d never met but knew about his secret, and obviously didn’t care, — it was the most freeing conversation Jared had had since his mom had died.  
  
“Let me just pack some stuff,” Jared said. “There’s a snow glider behind the house if you know how to ready that.”  
  
Chad disappeared out the door before Jared was finished with his sentence. While he packed a few clothes, an extra jacket for Chad, weapons and a picture, it occurred to him that Chad might just steal the glider. He was a hacker, a criminal on the run and Jared knew nothing about him. Sure, in the one brief flash he’d gotten, Chad’s mind hadn't seemed malignant, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything.  
  
When Jared had finally packed his bag and stepped outside, dreading to see nothing but some tracks in the snow from take-off, Chad was sitting on the glider, holding a helmet out to him.  
  
“What are you waiting for?”  
  
Relieved, Jared put on the helmet and climbed on the glider. He looked back at the ruined house. He’d leave it, he’d leave it all behind. Everything he’d ever known. He felt like he had a giant lump in his throat, making it impossible to swallow, and tears stung his eyes. Everything, he was leaving everything.  
  
He wondered what the people would think, the family and friends he’d grown up with. People he’d know his whole life, who’d become painful reminders of the care-free childhood before his abilities had manifested. He’d been alone and isolated right in the middle of his friends. Still, leaving them forever, it was a whole new level of pain.  
  
The airstream bit into his face and he realized Chad had taken off. Jared blinked furiously, his tears freezing his eyelashes and he pulled the helmet’s visor down. Deep down, he’d always suspected this day would come. He could do worse than a hacker crashing into his house, warning him about a ship full of bounty hunters, and then helping him escape said bounty hunters.  


 

 

 

  
  
  
  
Chad did more than just help Jared get off planet. He insisted on escaping the solar system together and used his skills to get them a bunch of fake ID cards. First, to get them off planet to the next intrasystem space station and from there to the trading center on the biggest planet in the solar system. Jared had never been on a spaceship, never mind in outer space, but Chad didn’t give him any time to be terrified.  
  
There were plans to make, decisions on where to go, and what their cover ID should be. Jared felt like he’d been plunged into an extremely vivid dream, so unreal had his life become. He met more people in the course of a few days than he’d known his entire life, saw dress styles he’d never thought possible, and heard accents of common Galactican he could only understand a few words of. Chad was there with him, explaining all the foreign stuff or just flat out laughing at Jared’s naivete. Jared laughed with him because what else was there to do? He’d cried enough the first night, in the vast darkness of space, Deloona only a tiny pale dot disappearing in the black nothingness surrounding the space station.  
  
From Deloona’s solar system, the next transport took them to Jorl, a densely populated trade planet. Located many light-years away from Deloona, Chad deemed it safe enough to take a breather. Jorl had a warm and dry climate and Jared had never in his life gotten a sunburn before. Chad laughed and then turned almost green with envy when Jared’s skin started tanning the next day while Chad had to continue applying sunblock to his pale skin.  
  
They spent a few days roaming the capital and getting Jared used to so many people in one place while Chad put his antennas out, as he put it, to figure out how much trouble they were in.  
  
As it turned out, it was a lot. The Alliance hadn’t taken kindly to the bounty hunters messing up and losing not one, but three persons of interest. They were taking them more seriously and the price on Chad’s head had tripled. Since he was now a fugitive on the run, Chad’s sentence, if he were caught, would land him on one of the darkest prison planets in the galaxy.  
  
The bounty hunters must’ve talked to the people in Jared’s community, because now they knew his name and what he looked like.  
  
“You gotta do something about your hair,” Chad remarked, “Let it grow out or something. There’s this one shampoo that accelerates hair growth. Fucking expensive, but we should be able to get it here.” Chad continued to scrutinize Jared’s face. “Shave your beard, too.”  
  
Jared touched his chin and wanted to protest. Deloonans always wore their facial hair long and it had been a pain growing it out, his off-planet heritage clearly not favoring the thick curly beard Deloonans had. The lack of curls on his head thankfully hadn’t shown, since adults wore it short. His beard finally looked acceptable now, but Jared knew Chad was right.  
  
Chad clapped him on the shoulder. “No worries, we’ll do it together. Well, I’ll grow out a beard. And maybe go back to my original hair color. Blue is getting out of style anyway.” Chad patted his hair thoughtfully, then turned his eyes back to Jared. “And we need a new name for you.”  
  
Jared hesitated. His name was the only thing he had from his biological mother. She’d been the one to name him. When he told Chad his given name was non-negotiable, Chad rolled his eyes but acquiesced.  
  
“Okay. Let’s just give you some ridiculously long and complicated last name and everybody will stop paying attention to your first name. How about... Padalecki?”  
  
“Padalecki?” Jared repeated the strange sounding name.  
  
Chad nodded gravely. “That’s what my granny called her favorite stray dog. You kinda have the same puppy eyes going, so it’s a good fit.”  
  
Jared had given up protesting Chad’s crazy notions.  
  
“What about your name?” he asked instead.  
  
Chad snorted and nonchalantly waved his hands. “Please. The Alliance thinks my name is Tristan DuGrey. How ridiculous is that? I mean, do I look like I could’ve been born on Chiltoon?”  
  
Like all of the other times Chad fell into one of his rants, Jared had no idea what he was talking about — he thought he’d heard the name Chiltoon before, but wasn’t sure, so instead of replying, he took a sip of the creamy drink the people in Jorl seemed to love and Chad had insisted he try. It had a strange tangy taste, but Jared liked it.  
  
They were sitting in one of the many bars littering the capital’s forums. Their booth was surrounded by high flexible poles, shielding them from onlookers’ eyes and ears. Apparently the people on Jorl liked their privacy and considered watching people as highly impolite.  
  
“So,” Chad asked, dragging the word out and studiously looking at his glass. “How exactly did this happen? I mean, who are your people?”  
  
Jared spun his own glass around. “What did your file say? Was there anything in there about how they found me?”  
  
He was curious what the people responsible had told the bounty hunters and, until now, Chad hadn’t said too much about how he came to be with the bounty hunters and what exactly happened on that ship.  
  
Chad shrugged. “Not much. It was a physical description of your mom, Sam Smith, and that she had a child. The child was considered to be a dangerous mind manipulator. Nothing on where the information came from originally. The contact of the bounty hunters was a guy called Pileggi, he’s a high ranking general and he’s on the Security Council.”  
  
_Shit._ The Security Council was the Alliance’s executive organ. Its members came from the twenty-two most influential solar systems in the Old Galaxy that had been the initiators in founding the Alliance. Over time, the Alliance had grown, more solar systems had joined, and the ARA, the Alliance Representative’s Assembly, was the law-making and bill deciding organ. It was common knowledge that it was the Security Council’s members who held the biggest influence. Not only did the Security Council maintain complete oversight over the justice system, they also commanded the Alliance Forces. No action of war was to be taken without the ARA’s approval, but everybody knew the Forces had instant reaction commandos spread throughout the Old Galaxy and could carry out small strikes effective enough to take out an entire planet anywhere with an emergency order.  
  
If someone on the Security Council was after Jared, he was screwed. Totally and utterly screwed.  
  
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Chad said soothingly. “We’re not _entirely_ fucked.”  
  
Jared raised an eyebrow in disbelief.  
  
“Going off-grid is my specialty, trust me. I’ll find us a place to hide.” Chad leaned back. “Now, tell me why they’re after you so hard.”  
  
Jared took a deep breath. He’d never told anyone this, not even Sandy. His mom had given him his birth mother’s letter, told him everything she knew, and made Jared swear never to entrust the knowledge to anyone.  
  
Chad already knew about half of it and had saved Jared’s life. He could still run for the stars if he knew the whole truth, but Jared wanted to tell him. Needed to tell him. His secret had isolated him for too long. If that was the price for his safety, Jared was no longer willing to pay it.  
  
“My mother, my birth mother I mean, was part of a military experiment,” Jared began in a low voice.  
  
“Ah shit.” Chad blew out of heavy breath. “So, Sam Smith…?”  
  
“She was my mom,” Jared said. “She raised me and she loved me and she never made me feel like I wasn’t her own. But she didn’t give birth to me.”  
  
Chad leaned back. “So how did you end up with her? And what happened to your birth mother?”  
  
Jaed thought back to the day when he’d been sixteen, scared out of his mind after he’d started getting flashes of Sandy’s mind when they had slept together for the first time. She hadn’t been able to understand what he was trying to tell her, he hadn’t been able to understand himself, so he went to his mom. He knew by then that she’d adopted him, but she never told him anything about his biological mother besides that she’d come from another planet and died after giving birth to Jared.  
  
When he’d gotten home, scared and confused, and stammered out what had happened, his mom had gotten up to give him a letter his birth mother had written for him. He’d asked his mom why she hadn’t shown him before and she had just given him a sad smile.  
  
“It was just in case,” she’d said. “In case you turned out affected.”  
  
The letter had turned Jared’s whole world upside down.  
  
“It was supposed to be harmless, just a drug test for concentration,” he told Chad, recounting what had been written in the letter. “In the letter she wrote for me, my birth mother said she couldn't remember everything, but it had been terrible. Apparently some of the other participants died. It was all hush hush and they gave her a lot of money and she had been forced to sign a nondisclosure agreement. She met my father in the transport lot. He’d been part of a similar experiment. The whole thing freaked them out, so they decided to leave the planet together.”  
  
Chad let out a little laugh. “And who says romance is dead? You know, this could almost be a story in _Love Across The Universe_.”  
  
Confused, Jared looked up. “What?”  
  
“ _Love Across The_ — Oh, endless infinity.” Chad threw up his hands. “It’s like, the _best_ show Starwood is currently producing. Did you not get TV on that popsicle you lived on?”  
  
Jared shrugged. “We do. But the reception sucked a lot on the live stream, so we watched mostly stuff on demand.”  
  
Chad looked at him as if Jared had just told him he’d never seen the sun. “You poor boy. As soon as we have time, I’m gonna introduce you to the world of Samwi, a young man lost in space. It’s actually perfect; he just met this really cool guy — he’s an outlaw with a home built double blaster and this vintage beast of a space cruiser, so cool — and I think the two of them might turn out to be the real deal. I mean, Samwi's last love interest was so predictably bland and—” Chad broke off with a sheepish expression. “You know what, never mind. Continue.”  
  
Chad blinked expectantly at Jared. Jared just shook his head. He’d already gotten used to Chad’s inability to focus on anything longer than a nanosecond.  
  
“My parents fell in love,” he continued, “but a few months after my mother got pregnant, my father died. Something in his brain just wasn’t right anymore. She had headaches too, just like him, and knew she would soon die too. Then the people who had run the experiment came looking for her, wanted to take her away. My mother escaped and ended up on Deloona. She met my mom there and stayed with her until I was born. Then she died.”  
  
“Shit, man, I’m so sorry,” Chad said.  
  
“It’s okay.” Jared shook his head. “I mean, it’s not okay, but I never knew her, you know? Sam was my mother, the person who raised me. I mean, yeah, it sucks, but I didn’t know any of this until I was sixteen and my abilities started.”  
  
Chad squinted his eyes even more than usual, obviously deep in thought. Then he asked, “How does it work exactly, your psychic thing? How do you see my thoughts?”  
  
Jared huffed. “I told you, not a psychic. I just… whenever I touch someone, I see what they want, what they wish for.”  
  
“And with me you saw food and flowers?” Chad’s expression was skeptic.  
  
It wasn’t easy to explain the rush of images and expressions he got every time he touched someone. When he’d tried practicing shutting it off with his mom, sometimes she’d gotten mirroring flashes of what he’d seen. Maybe… maybe he could show Chad. He just wanted someone to understand, for once in his life.  
  
“I can try to show you.”  
  
Chad’s eyes widened comically. “You can?”  
  
Jared reached out, touching Chad’s arm. “Stay calm,” he ordered, trying to remain calm himself. He’d never tried to show anyone on purpose before. “Then it’s easier. I think.”  
  
He waited for the images to come. Chad’s desires were a confusing mix of drink, food, vague pictures of naked bodies — sex, Jared realized — and then, underneath it all, there was the field with the big, blue, round-blossomed flowers. Jared concentrated, concentrated on how they were softly waving in the breeze, their light scent lingering in the air, the sunlight reflecting on tiny crystalline patches in their slim petals.  
  
There was something else in the flower field, someone, a girl, a beautiful brown haired girl. Jared focused on the image and tried to flip it somehow. It was weird, how the image suddenly seemed to float, removed from the remaining tangle of Chad’s mind.  
  
Jared tried to move, nudge it somehow and suddenly the image spun. It was still there, right in front of Jared’s vision but its edges moved like they were spinning. He pushed it towards Chad and when he opened his eyes, he saw Chad staring ahead with a vacant expression.  
  
“Chad?”  
  
No response. What had he done? Panicked, Jared gripped Chard’s shoulder and shook him. “Hey, Chad!”  
  
He had no idea what he could do in someone’s mind; what if he’d hurt Chad? Taken one of his memories or trapped him in his own mind somehow?  
  
“Chad!” he yelled. “Wake up, dammit!”  
  
A jolt went through Chard and he blinked furiously, startling out of whatever trance he’d been in. “Whoa, man, what the fuck?”  
  
“What happened?” Jared asked anxiously. Something like this had never happened when he’d tried blocking with his mom. “Are you okay? Did you see the girl in the flowers?”  
  
“See her?” Chad croaked out. “It was like I was there with her! She, she was right there, man, with me, in the flowers. We were, we were talking, making plans to leave. I—” Chad broke off.  
  
“I’m so sorry,” Jared said.  
  
It was obvious he’d brought up painful memories instead of a happy fantasy. He’d never been able to see memories before though.  
  
Chad gave him a weak smile. “No, don’t be. It was pretty cool actually. I saw her so much clearer than in any of my memories. It was so real you know, like you put me into a movie.”  
  
Jared was confused. His abilities had never worked like this. “So you relived a memory?”  
  
“No, not really. We spoke, but our conversation went differently.” Chad paused, rubbing his neck. “That day, in the flower field, I asked her to leave the planet with me. She said no. Now, when I saw what you showed me, she said yes. She said exactly what I wanted to hear.” He let out an incredulous laugh.  
  
“You showed me my deepest desire and it was real, man, it felt real. I never wanted anything more in my life than to build a life together with her. Even though she shot me down, if she’d change her mind now, I’d fly back to her in a heartbeat.”  
  
“I’m sorry.” Jared pressed the button on the table to order more drinks. “I didn’t want to bring up something so painful.”  
  
Chad snorted. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not like I don’t think about her every day or something.”  
  
“Still.”  
  
“Yeah well.” Chad took one of the new glasses being lowered from the ceiling. “That’s life, right? The love of my life didn’t want to leave her cushiony, arranged marriage to the richest, most boring douche on the planet, and in my quest to provide her with the riches she desired, I became an outlaw. And you’re the product of a secret government experiment that killed your parents and now wants to kill you too.” Chad raised his glass. “I say cheers to that.”  
  
Jared couldn’t help the laugh escaping him and he clinked his glass to Chad’s. Fuck his life.  
  
  
  
At the end of the night, Jared couldn’t count the drinks they had anymore. Chad paid with one of his numerous money cards that just seemed to manifest out of thin air around him, and they stumbled outside into the warm night air.  
  
The streets were still busy with people. A floating carriage stopped in front of the restaurant’s entrance and a tall, beautiful woman climbed out of it with graceful movements.  
  
Chad’s eyes followed the woman walking past them. She was meticulously dressed in expensive fabric with beautiful jewelry hanging from her sparkling head decoration.  
  
“So you think you could show anyone their desires?” Chad asked, eyes never leaving the woman. She’d walked up to another woman now, dressed in the long, silver garbs of an ARA representative, laughing and taking her arm. “Because,” Chad continued, voice slurry and eyes shining with drunken excitement, “that would be an easy way to make a lot of money.”  
  
Jared’s sluggish mind tried to follow Chad’s line of thought, but all he came up with was “huh?”  
  
“Companion!” Chad yelled, before snapped his mouth shut and then whispered, “You could be the best companion ever! You’re a pretty boy, you know — if you grow out your hair. Seriously man, the shorn look is just _not_ in right now,” Chad rubbed the hairs on the top of Jared’s head disapprovingly. “Trust me, companion! That’s the thing! And you’d be rich in like, no time!”  
  
Jared shook his head, trying to think. He’d never seen a companion outside of TV before — that was what the beautiful woman must have been — but he was sure he couldn’t just become one.  
  
“There’s an academy,” Jared said. “A license?” He wasn’t sure, but he knew there was some kind of system. “And I don’t wanna have sex with random people! Can’t even have sex with people I like cause of all the… the stuff, you know.”  
  
Chad hit his shoulder, half-missed, lost his balance and leaned against Jared heavily. “Psssh, you don’t have to sleep with them for real, stupid. Just, show them. You know, like you showed me Soph.”  
  
“Soph?” Jared had never heard of a Soph before.  
  
“Soph!” Chad lamented. “Soph, Sophia, love of my life and light of my… life.”  
  
Awkwardly, Jared patted Chad on the head. The proximity sent short bursts of Chad’s mind to Jared, but they were blurry and distorted and Jared was too drunk to make sense of them.  
  
“That… no? I mean, what are we even talking about?”  
  
“Riches!” Chad exclaimed. “Sleep now. Plans tomorrow.”  
  
They stumbled towards their hotel and Jared wasn’t sure how they made it into their beds. When Chad’s head pressed against his shoulder, Jared thought they were doing something wrong, but he was too tired and drunk to care. He fell asleep to Chad’s soft snoring.  
  
  
The next morning, Jared woke to the delicious scent of freshly brewed coffee. The instant packaged stuff Jared had known on Deloona was nothing compared to the ambrosia of freshly ground beans brewed to perfection.  
  
Jared sat up, head pounding from his hangover, and Chad padded over with a fresh cup. He knew how addicted Jared had gotten to the good quality coffee in the short time since they’d left Deloona.  
  
“So.” Chad sat down on the bed, holding his own cup.  
  
The other bed in the room was still unrumpled; they must have unintentionally shared Jared’s last night.  
  
“I’ve been thinking about my idea last night.”  
  
“You mean your drunken fantasies.” Jared drank from his coffee, letting the caffeine wake him up. He only had vague memories, but he distinctly remembered Chad proposing he become a companion.  
  
Chad leaned forward. “Think about it, Jared. A lot of money for, really, no work at all.”  
  
Jared shook his head. “I have no idea if I could even do that.”  
  
Chad snorted. “I'm sure you could. We can practice.”  
  
“Why? I mean, there have to be other ways. And what about you, huh?”  
  
Chad let himself fall back on the bed, spilling half his coffee in the process. “Shit! Okay, look. We both need to get away from the Alliance. And with the Security Council after you, we'll never be safe anywhere in the Old Galaxy. We need to get out of here.”  
  
“Leave the Old Galaxy?” Jared swallowed. There weren’t a lot of human settlements outside their galaxy and traveling to other galaxies was far and dangerous.  
  
“It’s the only way to be safe.” Chad looked at him earnestly. “It’s the only way you’ll be able to live and not hide your entire life.”  
  
Jared looked at Chad, searching his face for clues. “What about you?”  
  
Chad shrugged. “I’m not saying I won’t miss it here, but it’s time for the next big adventure anyway. Only thing is, intergalactical travel is very expensive if you want to be safe, so we need a lot of money, _real_ money. Not just a few fake coins on a money card that will disappear tomorrow from the accounts. No, we need to make honest money.”  
  
“But how?” Jared asked desperately. “Even if I go with your crazy idea and become a companion, which, by the way, is stupid because I can’t go through the training and ceremonies and stuff, where would we earn that kind of money and stay off Alliance radar?”  
  
Chad looked at Jared pensively. “There’s a place. A planet, actually. You can make a lot of money there, really, tons of it, and no one bothers you.”  
  
Jared’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What’s the downside?”  
  
“Dangerous monsters.”  
  
Monsters, Jared knew. Deloona’s icy deserts were roamed by fierce creatures just looking for the next kill.  
  
“Monsters I can handle,” Jared said. “I just don’t know about the rest.”  
  
Chad grinned. “Awesome. Look, I can make us fake IDs that’ll get us a job there, I can even get you a fake companion certification. And on the way to Wora, we have to stop on Helia anyway, which, yeah okay, is a bit dangerous, but we can meet Laur there. She’s a companion and owes me a favor; she’ll tell you everything you need to know to pass. And we’ll practice. You’ll see, child’s play.”  
  
“Can’t I get another job on this place?”  
  
Chad scooted around on the bed, suddenly looking nervous. “Well, the thing is… the regular jobs don’t pay so well, and those that do, the mortality rate is awful high.”  
  
“Mortality rate?” Jared asked incredulously. Obviously, the monsters were more dangerous that he’d thought.  
  
Chad made a throwaway hand motion. “Nothing to worry about. As a companion you’ll be as safe as you can be.”  
  
“And you?” Jared asked. He still wasn't sure if he could pull it off — though the way he'd been able to spin Chad’s mind was very intriguing — but he didn’t want to do it alone. Without Chad. He’d known the guy only for a week, but he’d already become a good friend.  
  
“I’m sure they need an IT guy there. C’mon, get up! While you were reenacting _Sleeping Beauty_ , I found us passage to Helia, but we have to hurry if we want to get a few supplies before we go.”  
  
Jared was still skeptical, but he relented and got up and showered.  
  
Chad was right of course. Jared would have to leave Alliance space if he ever wanted to be safe. He had no idea what was out there, his universographical education had covered the most important solar systems of the Old Galaxy and that was it. He knew nothing about the neighboring galaxies except for their names.  
  
The thought of leaving was scary, overwhelmingly frightening, but there was no other choice. As for Chad’s idea how to make that money… If he could make the money Chad said he could, it was a good idea; Jared just didn’t know if he could do it. Even if he would project visions like that, would he be able to lie to people, deceive them that purposefully?  
  
Chad seemed to once again know what was going on in Jared’s head because he clapped him on the shoulder when they left the hotel. The streets were bustling with activity and the people seemed more hectic and agitated than before.  
  
Jared and Chad just barely managed to get a few supplies off a street vendor and get a space on a transport to the space port.  
  
“What’s going on here?” Jared asked, when they passed a group of people in a heated debate.  
  
Chad’s expression darkened. “Some kind of fighting broke out in one of the fringe systems. Some sort of rebel group poking the Alliance. Don’t know why everybody gets their panties in a twist about it, I’m sure our oh-so-awesome Forces will have it figured out in no time. C’mon now, we don’t wanna miss our ship.”  
  
When they had finally made it and moved into the cabins they’d occupy on the three week trip to Helia, they walked out onto one of the long gangways and looked out into the nothingness stretching out in front of them, stars tiny specs of light in the distance.  
  
“Are we really doing this?” Jared asked.  
  
Chad grinned. “Sure we are. It’s gonna be a piece of cake.” He looked over at Jared and his brows drew together in confusion. “Or, you know, we can do something else. I mean, if you don’t want to, I’m sure I can find someone to give you shelter for a while.”  
  
“But I’d always be hiding,” Jared said and Chad nodded.  
  
This was probably the scariest thing he’d ever do.  
  
Jared took a deep breath. “If you’re in, I’m in.”  
  
Chad nodded, once, jerkily. “Okay, let’s do it.”

 

 

 


	3. Part Two

  


 

 

  
  
_Two years later at the other end of the Old Galaxy..._  
  
  
  
“So now what?”  
  
“Fuck if I know.”  
  
Dani shot Jensen a wry grin. “That’s what we get for serving the Alliance. We should’ve known. Out on our asses with fucking nothing, not even a fucking history.” Dani pulled a face. “I can just see how this goes. _‘So what did you guys do?’_ Oh, you know, served in the Forces. _‘Oh, yeah, where? And can I see your service record?’_ Erm…”  
  
Jensen snorted and grabbed his worn duffel bag. “We have a better shot at getting a job if people don’t know where we served.”  
  
“Depends on the job, I reckon,” Dani said and absently rubbed the fingers of her left hand together. She’d lost the feeling in them when they’d been caught in a nitro bomb. Although the medics had done a good job patching them up, out in the field, the options were limited. Dani was lucky they’d managed to save her fingers at all; too many of their platoon had been discharged with bionics.  
  
“You really wanna call JD?” Jensen asked, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t you think we did enough fighting already?”  
  
Dani shouldered her bag and threw her long, red hair over her shoulder. She’d always hated to keep it in a neat bun. Now she could wear it down, run her hands through it, and play with the long strands whenever she wanted.  
  
Jensen dragged his hands through his own brown, shorter hair. While he appreciated the beauty of long, well-groomed hair, he’d never had the patience to grow his own out, preferring to wear it cropped short and a little longer on top.  
  
“It’s not gonna be real fighting. We’ll just do what we’ve always done.” She smirked at him. “Run around, avoid the bad guys, and if we can’t avoid them, fight dirty until we get out.” She started walking towards the huge gates marking the end of the military base. “We can try to find something else, but I tell you, working for JD will get us the easiest money.”  
  
“Let’s see what else we can find, okay?” Jensen wasn’t sure where to go from here but playing bodyguard on a hostile mining planet didn’t sound like a good place to be.  
  
Dani looked back over her shoulder. “Fine. I hitched us a ride on a ship going past Helia, if we can find work somewhere, that’s gonna be it.”  
  
With a huff, Jensen followed her out. It wasn’t like he had a better idea.  
  
  
They made their way out of the fort and towards the port area where Dani had organized them passage on the _Charlie_. The captain, a laidback guy called Chris, wasn’t bothered by having soldiers on his vessel and he hadn’t asked where they’d served. The war hadn’t been over for long, but Dani and Jensen had already heard about the people’s displeasure with how the Alliance had handled the war. Soldiers weren’t held in high regard right now.  
  
The cabins of the _Charlie_ were small, but the journey wasn’t long. The _Charlie_ would drop them off on Helia, one of the biggest trading centers in the Old Galaxy — a place for selling and trading, starting over and finding work. They just had to hope there’d be enough people willing to hire soldiers without asking too many questions.  
  
When Jensen walked into the mess hall, Dani was already there talking to a few of the other passengers. Jensen nodded a polite hello and got himself a bowl of stew. He didn’t join the conversation, but he paid careful attention.  
  
“Don’t get me wrong,” an older guy said. “I’m glad the war is over. And I understand that war is messy. Far be it from me to criticize the Alliance, but I’ve never seen such total war offenses. I mean, the rebels’ action warranted that, of course, but still. So many civilian lives were lost. And some of the stories you hear… you don’t know anyone who was part of the Sulaa Offense, do you?”  
  
Jensen concentrated on eating his stew.  
  
“Sulaa?” Dani asked, playing dumb. “What’s so special about Sulaa?”  
  
The old guy made a disgusted face. “Torture, that’s what’s wrong with it. And I heard Special Ops wiped out the whole solar system, killed fighters and civilians alike.” His voice dropped down to a whisper. “Even the children.”  
  
There was a round of muttered outrage at the table, but Dani just shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “Not sure where you heard that, but Alliance Forces fight by a strict code.”  
  
“Sure, sure,” the old man relented. “But those Special Op teams… they get far too much autonomy, if you ask me. They’re all so ‘top secret’ no one really knows what they’re up to. And the people who sign up for that kind of work are all thrill seeking, trigger happy monsters anyway.”  
  
Jensen slowly brought the spoon to his mouth and slurped the stew. He had no idea what it tasted like, he had to concentrate too hard on not crushing the bowl in his hand. That fucker had no idea what he was talking about, but a nasty little voice in his head reminded Jensen that the old guy wasn’t too far away from the truth.  
  
“Don’t listen to Rono and his fairy tales,” a woman with dark hair said. Jensen thought she had introduced herself as Evelia. “He does nothing but spout conspiracy theories.”  
  
“It’s not a conspiracy theory,” Rono retorted angrily. “I have a cousin who used to trade with Sulaa. The stories he heard from survivors...”  
  
Evelia didn’t look convinced. “But why would the Alliance let those kind of things happen, in Sulaa of all places?”  
  
Rono didn’t have an answer for that. Jensen did, but the whole operation was classified. Well, actually, it had ‘never happened’. Their commander had purged all the records of their campaign. It hadn’t purged the memories though. Pictures of brownish sand dunes filled his mind, the air shimmering from the heat and below, in the shadows — Jensen stood up so abruptly he almost toppled the chair over.  
  
“Excuse me,” he mumbled and walked out of the room, forcing himself not to run.  
  
“Doesn’t like war talk,” he heard Dani say behind him. “We lost a lot of good people.”  
  
Jensen couldn’t hear the rest, but he didn’t need to. Dani was right, he didn’t like to talk about the war.  
  
That night, he went out on the outer gangway. The _Charlie_ had big window panels and Jensen stared out into the darkness. On Sulaa, it had never been dark. The days were long and the nights were lit up by four moons. Staring out into the blackness, watching stars glow in the distance, it was peaceful.  
  
There were no memories in the darkness.  
  
“Deep in thought?” Chris asked, appearing from around the corner.  
  
“More like trying not to think.”  
  
Chris stepped next to him, his shoulder brushing against Jensen’s arm. “I could help with that.”  
  
For a moment, Jensen considered it. With his long, shiny, brown hair and the blue twinkling eyes, the captain was very attractive; still, Jensen shook his head.  
  
“I’m sorry. You’re a beautiful guy and you deserve more than I could give you.”  
  
Chris raised an eyebrow. “I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m just offering a night of fun.”  
  
“And I’m not really a lot of fun,” Jensen said. “But Dani is.”  
  
“Who said I’d want her?”  
  
Jensen turned to look at him. “You don’t. Just like you don’t want me.”  
  
Chris opened his mouth to protest and Jensen held up his hand. “You want _someone_. Someone warm in your bed for the night so it’s not so lonely.”  
  
Chris pursed his lips, searching Jensen’s face. “I always thought that’s a universal feeling. Especially out here.”  
  
“Might be.” Jensen shrugged. “But I’m not asshole enough to take you up on your offer and ruin the night for you when you could have much more fun with someone else.”  
  
Chris looked at him, then nodded. He turned around, heading towards the passenger cabins, but stopped at the bend in the corridor. “Don’t be lonely too long. I’ve seen what it does to people out here.”  
  
Jensen turned back to the window. Loneliness wasn’t the problem. Not really.  
  
  
  
The Helian trade halls were bustling with activity. The war had reached over half the solar systems under Alliance influence, so millions of people were trying to start over, make a living out of the remnants of their broken existences.  
  
Dani and Jensen had gotten rid of all their military paraphernalia; soldiers weren’t a welcome sight after the war. Dani had spent the rest of the trip on the _Charlie_ talking to people, testing the waters and seeing what the rumor mills were churning out. It wasn’t good.  
  
Too many people had lost too much in a fight that hadn’t made sense to any of them. The rebels had had few sympathizers outside their troops, but the support for the Alliance’s overwhelming military response, the wide sweeping recruitment of fighters, ships and other resources, hadn’t found much of an understanding either. Neither had the war tax. It didn’t help that it had been soldiers with the Forces’ insignia displayed on their uniforms who had collected money and resources.  
  
People complained that the Alliance had used the war to centralize power, to take it away from the individual members and give it to the Security Council. Especially since the Security Council didn’t seem to have any inclination to return any of the extended authority now that the rebels were officially defeated and the ARA, made up of delegates from all planets under Alliance influence, hadn’t taken any measures to curb the Security Council’s power. It wasn’t a good time to be associated with the war, or the government, in any way. Never mind the rumors of war crimes and the atrocities committed by the Special Ops teams that were making the rounds faster than any Starwood gossip ever could.  
  
So for now, Dani and Jensen were stragglers, traveling the galaxy looking for work. They blended into the crowd, wearing dark, rundown clothes, sturdy boots, and weapons hidden under their jackets. They talked to vendors, tradespeople and captains. Import, export, transport — everybody in the business needed muscle on deck. Without a reference though, it was impossible to get a job on an at least semi-legal operation.  
  
When they met back for dinner, Jensen couldn’t recall the number of people looking him up and down with a headshake, saying, “Sorry man, no ref, no job. Hard times and all that, gotta be careful who you hire.”  
  
Dani didn’t have any more luck.  
  
“Well. That was a giant waste of time.” Dani poked around in her porridge.  
  
Jensen took a bite of his bread. “Not surprising.”  
  
Dani nodded. “We can keep trying. The money should last for a few more weeks.”  
  
“I doubt the situation is gonna be different.”  
  
“I know.” Dani squinted into the distance, then looked back at Jensen. “We can still call JD.”  
  
Jensen grunted. He’d really hoped they’d find another way. Short of doing something illegal, they hadn’t found any options though, and with what he’d seen today? He doubted they would.  
  
“Hey, I’m not a fan of the work either,” Dani snapped. “But our options are kind of limited, and we have a month, tops, before they check up on us, make sure we don’t _‘misuse our power’_.” Dani made little air quotes around the word misuse and pulled a face. Jensen agreed.  
  
They might have been discharged, but they’d never really leave the service.  
  
“Call JD,” he said resigned and got up. “I’m gonna find us a transport.”  
  
“Don’t grouch,” Dani called after him. “The pay’s gonna be good. Ten years, and we can retire.”  
  
Jensen gave her a sardonic look. “If we survive.”  
  
Dani casually shrugged her shoulders. “We made it this far, didn’t we?”  
  
“Just because your stupid ass is too stubborn to die.”  
  
Dani’s deep laughter followed Jensen out of the food hall.  
  
  


 

 

  
  
  
  
There was no ship on Helia going out into the Terir system. When Jensen asked around for a ship going there, he’d gotten a lot of disbelieving headshakes and raised eyebrows. Most of the mining planets in the Terir system were prisons operated by the Alliance. Wora, the planet where JD made his money mining annium, was the only independently operated one. The people Jensen talked to didn’t hesitate to tell him how stupid it was to go out there; they’d die before they’d see one coin of their money.  
  
Most of the horror stories about gigantic and bloodthirsty monsters sounded like they were recounting the newest slasher movie straight out of Starwood; Jensen doubted it was that bad. People tended to exaggerate, and he was sure that Wora was dangerous, but if JD had managed to establish a mine there, Dani and Jensen would probably be fine. They’d always lived their lives on the edge of danger but Jensen wouldn’t have agreed to Dani’s idea if he thought they were going to their certain deaths. Jensen couldn’t even imagine a life where he didn’t have to watch Dani’s back. So whatever was waiting for them on Wora, they’d deal with it, just like they had dealt with everything else that had been thrown their way.  
  
In the end, they had to take a trade ship out to the Mehani system, a big manufacturing center in the Old Galaxy. From there, they’d be able to find passage on a transporter going out to Wora.  
  
Located in the outer circle of the Terir system, Wora had long been ignored. It didn’t offer any of the typical resources found in the rest of the system, and the planet was far too inhospitable to invite any kind of settlement. When a transport had to emergency land and the crew had stumbled upon a cube of annium, it hadn’t mattered anymore that the planet was completely covered in dense and often hostile vegetation, or that the inhabitants of Wora had an intelligence classified as animalistic, while their bodies were strong and near indestructible and their hunger was great.  
  
Mining annium, the most expensive metal in the galaxies, became the business of soldiers of fortunes; people with nothing to lose and everything to gain. Working in the mines required a delicate skill level and to guarantee the workers’ safety was almost impossible. Especially when the miners dug deeper and discovered that the most deadly creatures weren’t the ones that roamed the surface.  
  
The pay was astronomical — if one lived long enough to survive a contract and leave the planet again.  
  
JD had been one of the first to establish a mine and his was the only one that lasted. He now ruled Wora like a king. When the war broke out, the Forces called him back to the special ops team he’d left only five years before. After the war, he’d offered every soldier in their platoon a job in his mines. Most had declined. They didn’t need to go on a suicide run to make a living; they had families to go back to, previous jobs, educations.  
  
Dani and Jensen, they didn’t. They didn’t have anything besides the additions no one should ever know about, a wiped service record, a tracking chip in their necks, and a promise that if they ever put a toe across the line, they’d be put down like rabid dogs.  
  
Jensen sent JD a message to expect them and received an answer almost instantly, telling them where and when the next transporter was going out to Wora.  
  
  
  
“Did JD ever show you any pictures?” Dani asked when they were only an hour away from landing.  
  
Jensen shook his head. “He only said it’s a dark jungle with a few mountain formations. The city is at the base of a mountain. Said they had to take down about an acre of jungle around it just to make it safe.”  
  
“We’re not gonna have a lot of company,” Dani said peeved.  
  
Jensen agreed. Miners and the soldiers to protect them, a few people working in medics and food, all cooped up in one single city. Five years and they’d have enough money to quit. Retire. Maybe buy some land, live somewhere in peace and quiet. Jensen couldn’t picture it, that kind of life. Not that he could picture much of anything these days. If not for the chip in his shoulder, he’d seriously consider just going back to the streets of Ferasion.  
  
Dani stepped closer, bumping her shoulder against Jensen’s. “You look like shit.”  
  
“You’re too kind.”  
  
Dani snorted. “I mean it. How much sleep did you get?”  
  
Jensen shrugged. “A few hours.” Two at most. Sleep wasn’t a good place to be these days.  
  
“You wanna talk?” Dani looked out the window, studiously keeping her eyes away from Jensen’s.  
  
“Do you?” Jensen asked, trying to deflect. There were things Dani didn't know and Jensen would like to keep it that way.  
  
Dani huffed. “Not really. But it’s supposed to help. It’s what the shrinks always say anyway.”  
  
“Fuck them.”  
  
Dani barked out a laugh. “Damn right. What do they know, right?”  
  
Jensen clapped Dani on the shoulder. The remainder of the journey, they stood in silence, looking out into the darkness. They watched Wora come closer, a dark planet almost completely hidden by grey clouds swirling around in its atmosphere.  
  
“Well,” Dani said. “I’ve seen worse. At least, this time we’re fighting animalistic life forms.”  
  
  
  
JD was there to greet them when the ship landed. He’d grown out his dark beard, now streaked with silvery grey, but otherwise he still looked exactly like he had the last time Jensen had seen him. Tall and broad-shouldered, he was dressed in typical military combat gear; dark, almost knee high boots, cargo pants and a reinforced vest over his shirt. He still held his body rigid in a typical soldier pose and his dark eyes, under heavy brows, gave his face a menacing edge. The grin he threw Dani and Jensen was warm and welcoming.  
  
“Harris. Ackles. Good to see you guys made it in one piece.”  
  
They clapped each other on the shoulders and then JD led them out of the almost deserted hangar. Only a few people dressed in green uniforms were there to unload the supplies from the ship; the rest of the large hall was empty.  
  
“C’mon,” he said. “Let me show you what you’re getting yourself into. If you wanna quit after the tour, the ship leaves again tomorrow morning. If you wanna be on it, I won’t hold it against you.”  
  
Dani looked at him quizzically. “It can’t be _that_ bad.”  
  
JD gave her a wry grin. “Why do you think I offered you so much pay? Certainly not out of the goodness of my heart. It’s the going rate for a five year contract.”  
  
“If we survive,” Jensen said dryly.  
  
JD’s teeth were very white in his dark beard when he smiled. “Gotta make a living somehow.”  
  
Dani snorted. “With the prices of annium you should be rolling in money.”  
  
“It's not too bad,” JD said. “But I spend half of the profits on safety measures. You’ll see.”  
  
JD led them through the fort and explained the layout of the city and the different buildings to them. From the hangar, where the annium was shipped out and supplies and people came in, it was about a five minute walk through industrial storage and processing buildings. There, annium was processed according to use — communication, weapons, and the most important one, hyperdrive technology.  
  
Everything was surrounded by high, gray walls, with sentinel towers every hundred yards. Heavy duty electrical wire ran across the top of the wall and Jensen saw strong artillery up on the towers — double-shot, long range blasters and old school, rapid-fire guns.  
  
The city — if you could call it that — was protected by just as much security. The light was muted, the high walls keeping out the diffused sunlight. Jensen noticed the big spotlights, but they weren’t on.  
  
“This place could use some light,” he remarked. He wasn’t too fond of brightness, nowadays, but it did have strategic advantages.  
  
JD nodded. “Yeah. But since we have only about seven hours of daylight in a thirty hour day, we save the energy for when it gets dark.”  
  
Thirty hour day. Dani and Jensen exchanged a dark look. That would suck.  
  
JD saw and smiled grimly. “Don’t worry, with your shift work, you won’t even notice. Give your body a month to adjust. Everything’s on Galactic Space Time, in case you were wondering. And if, after a month, you can’t deal with it here, you take the next transport out.”  
  
They were familiar with GST, the Alliance had instituted as an overall measurement system and the Forces all operated on it.  
  
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Dani started as JD led them to one of the towers. “How many people complete their contract?”  
  
JD swiped an access card across an ID pad and led them into the tower. They took an elevator up.  
  
“From the ones who decide to stay after the trial period, about seventy percent of the workers make it and fifty percent of the security. It’s why security pays better.”  
  
Dani whistled. The elevator came to a stop and they stepped outside.  
  
“I think we should re-negotiate our contract,” Jensen said.  
  
JD laughed. “Wait ‘til you see your accommodations. You won’t find anything better with that kind of work and I make sure that there’s enough entertainment ‘round.”  
  
At that, Dani perked up. “Entertainment? What are we talking here?”  
  
“We have good bars, restaurants. All the food and drink you can want. Music every night and, well, enough pretty companions to forget the ugliness you see during the day. On top of your salary you’ll get tokens to spend at your leisure.”  
  
“Excellent.” Dani grinned.  
  
Jensen wasn’t really in the mood for partying, but then, he’d always coped differently than Dani. While Jensen’s childhood in the orphanage had taught him to be wary of people and value time alone, the way Dani had grown up always made her go looking for company when they were roaming the streets of Ferasion together. Still, it might be a good idea to have a few drinks. Maybe that would help him sleep. He wasn’t suffering any signs of sleep deprivation yet, but if it continued like this, it was only a matter of time before his body would begin to break down. Jensen might be stronger and healthier since the additions, but he wasn’t invincible. The numerous scars he’d gotten during the war attested to that.  
  
They had reached the edge of the tower and looked out over the vibrant green vegetation. It was an impenetrable blanket of green and brown, covering the planet as far as the eye could see. To their right, the gray mountain range rose up, jagged edges of mineralized stone looming towards the gray sky.  
  
A guard walked up to them and JD nodded at him. “Thompson. How’s it going today?”  
  
The guard gave them a pinched look. “Quiet. Too quiet for my liking. One of the big ones moved through the third quadrant a while ago, but that was about it.”  
  
JD surveyed the jungle. “Well then, I guess we’re in for one hell of a night.”  
  
The guard grinned. “We’ll stockpile some extra nitro fire.”  
  
“Very good,” JD said, then he turned to Jensen and Dani and pointed them towards their right. “That’s where we mine. The operation has been running for ten years and we only just scratched the surface. The annium saturation in the stone is three percent, the highest anywhere in the Old Galaxy. Conditions are ideal, the oxygen level in the air is perfect for humans, even down in the mine. There are enough channels and ravines in the mountains to get a steady airflow going. It would be perfect if we didn’t have to deal with that.” JD waved his hand towards the dense vegetation.  
  
“So what exactly is out there?” Jensen asked. “We’ve only heard the horror stories.”  
  
JD gave him a grim smile. “Trust me, they’re not stories. It’s all true.”  
  
Dani’s eyebrows rose up to her hairline. “You don’t even know what we heard.”  
  
“Doesn’t matter. I’d wager it doesn’t even come close. People like to exaggerate the bad stuff. But the true horrors… they never speak about those.”  
  
They were quiet for a moment, each of them thinking about their own horrors. Jensen tried to push the images of blinding light and red sand away.  
  
“Does the sun ever breach the clouds?” Jensen asked to change the subject.  
  
JD shook his head. “Maybe once or twice a year.”  
  
Jensen nodded. “Good.”  
  
JD didn’t comment. After Sulaa, none of them were too keen on the sun.  
  
“Let’s get you guys settled,” he said after a moment. “I have two spots open in a house with a researcher and a cook. Thought you’d appreciate a break from living with soldiers the whole time.”  
  
Dani and Jensen nodded. Living with your team had its perks when you were in a war zone but at a security gig like this, he didn’t need to live with his coworkers.  
  
“While we were traveling,” Dani said slowly, “we didn’t really tell people what we did. The mood is not exactly favorable towards anyone connected to the government or the military right now.”  
  
“Yeah, I heard,” JD growled. “Out here, you don’t need to worry. Half the security people working the mines have some kind of military background and everybody knows I served in the Forces. Trust me, people out here like hearing you know how to shoot to kill.”  
  
“But weren’t people curious?” Jensen asked. “I mean, you came out here, built up this mine, and then had to leave to serve another year in the war.”  
  
JD shrugged dismissively. “Everybody knows I don’t talk shop. If anything, they respect me more for it.” He eyed them closely for a moment. “There are a few people, the ones who've been here a while, who noticed that I'm a little quicker on my feet, can shoot a bit better. You know, that kind of thing. They don't know the details, just that I'm different."  
  
"You told them?" Dani asked incredulously.  
  
“They _noticed_ ,” JD said distinctly. “I just vaguely alluded to top secret missions. It’s not like everybody is instantly going to make the connection to a DNA additions weapons program that was officially chucked twenty years ago. So you can relax.” JD grinned. “Besides, the Alliance needs me. Two other annium mines out in the Recki system recently dried up, and without my product, the Alliance would have to pay a lot of money for this stuff to come from the other galaxies.”  
  
“I don’t like it,” Jensen said quietly. It would be nice if they wouldn’t get shit for their past, but if word ever got out about them… “We have very specific instructions and a tracking chip in our neck. You might be indispensable for the Alliance, but Dani and I, we’re expendable.”  
  
JD shook his head dismissively. “Out here, no one’s gonna bother you, trust me.”  
  
Jensen wasn’t too sure about that and he exchanged a skeptical look with Dani, but JD was already walking back to the elevator.  
  
“It’s not like you’ll be able to hide your strength and speed forever down there. Sooner or later, you’re gonna need to use it.”  
  
The possibility of being found out had of course occurred to Jensen, but he’d hoped they’d maybe be able to hide it in the darkness of the mines.  
  
“You’ll like it here,” JD continued. “When you get to your new home, there’s a folder with all relevant information and your ID cards. And tomorrow, you’re gonna meet Kim Rhodes. She’s the expert on everything that’s out there, she’s gonna give you a thorough briefing. I advise strongly to take her words to heart. She’s the best there is, got it?”  
  
Dani and Jensen nodded jaggedly and with that, they were dismissed.  
  
  


 

  


  
  
Their house was everything JD had promised it to be. It was located in a little complex filled with two to four story houses. The other buildings in the city’s center all had at least ten stories, but out here, backed into the outcrops of the mountains with actual little gardens surrounding them, were the smaller houses. There was a peacefulness to it that Jensen found almost disturbing in its unfamiliarity.  
  
When they entered their house, a delicious scent greeted them. Dani and Jensen walked through a large hallway into an open kitchen dining room area.  
  
“That’s got to be the cook, right?” Dani asked, eyes shining with excitement. “It’s gonna be awesome living with a professional cook.”  
  
A tall guy appeared around the corner, holding a pot and stirring its contents quickly.  
  
“Wrong,” he said with a smile. “Samantha doesn’t cook in her time off. All the tasty stuff comes from me.” He made a little flourish movement with his hand and bowed. “Aldis is the name, and cooking is my game.”  
  
“Will you look at that,” Dani said with a predatory smile, “we live with tall, dark, and handsome.”  
  
Aldis was obviously surprised at her bluntness but the look he gave her was full of appreciation. _Great_. Jensen hoped the house was soundproof.  
  
He stepped forward and held out a hand to prevent more immediate flirting. “Jensen Ackles. Good to meet you. JD said you do research?”  
  
Aldis took his hand and shook it. He had a firm grip and Jensen saw strong muscles move under his dark skin. Not what he’d expected from a researcher.  
  
Aldis grinned, obviously picking up on what he was thinking. “Research isn’t all sitting in front of a screen, you know. I develop new mining machinery and we do some heavy lifting.”  
  
Jensen nodded. “I see. This here is Dani. We’re gonna be working security.”  
  
Aldis and Dani shook hands, touching strictly longer than necessary. “JD mentioned you too. Now usually, the security guys stay with each other, but the Colonel said you were cool.”  
  
“The Colonel?” Dani asked disbelievingly.  
  
Aldis shrugged. “It’s what everybody calls him. I think at some point he gave up trying to correct us.”  
  
“You been here long?”  
  
“Three years,” Aldis said. “But come on in. Your rooms are upstairs, like ours. We all have our own bathrooms, so no sharing. What you do in your own space is your business, but common areas are kept clean. A cleaning crew comes through once a week, but if you cook in my kitchen you clean up after yourselves, got it?”  
  
“No problem.” Dani looked around the spotless steel surfaces. “We’re used to keeping things neat.”  
  
Aldis raised an eyebrow, but didn’t ask. “Food’s gonna be ready in fifteen. You’re welcome to join me.”  
  
“Sounds good,” Jensen said.  
  
Aldis seemed like a decent guy. Jensen thought they wouldn’t have any problems. Together, he and Dani went upstairs. Their rooms were spacious, furnished with a big bed, a movable wall closet, a relatively modern entertainment system, and a couch. On the couch was the folder with an ID card attached to it that JD had talked about. Jensen decided to leave that for later.  
  
Their rooms had little balconies facing what could pass at a backyard. Jensen was standing on his when to his left, Dani stepped out on hers.  
  
“It’s gonna be nice, standing here in the evening, smoking a good old fashioned pipe.”  
  
Jensen nodded. “Yeah. It’s nice. Better than anything we lived in since—”  
  
“Ever?” Dani asked and Jensen agreed with a head tilt.  
  
“Yeah. Five years in this place is gonna be doable.”  
  
“Unless something eats us first,” Dani reminded him.  
  
“Of course. There’s that.”  
  
They stood in silence for a few moments, taking in the high ragged mountain and the sinister looking vegetation. To the left, where the mountains gave way to the forest, a rumbling noise sounded. Far in the distance, Jensen could see some of the tree tops move. Suddenly, a tree fell.  
  
“You see that?” Dani asked.  
  
“Yeah.” It was still for a moment, then the trees swayed again. “Whatever’s out there, it’s gigantic.” Jensen felt his shoulders tense and his stance widen; an ingrained response to danger. He wasn’t too keen on meeting their new foes.  
  
“So, I know, we said we weren’t gonna talk about it,” Dani said into the silence. “But, Jensen, we’re here now. New start and all that.” She looked at him with a worried expression. “You gotta let go.”  
  
“I liked this no talking idea,” Jensen said. He’d never been very good at keeping secrets from Dani. He didn’t want her to push.  
  
Frustrated, she shook her head. “Look, I know how you feel, alright? It was shitty. The whole Sulaa offence was one pile of shit heaped onto another. And we didn’t see it coming, even though we should have.”  
  
Jensen agreed. They were supposed to be the smart ones, streetwise and savvy.  
  
“But we got caught up in it, alright?” Dani said angrily. “We got blinded by our new powers and the do-gooder missions from the beginning, so we forgot to question everything. We forgot that the Alliance isn’t the good guys, that they don’t care about anyone besides their own power. But, Jensen, we can’t beat ourselves up about this forever, okay?” She looked at him beseechingly. “You gotta let go, man. It’s eating you up and if you let it, there won’t be anything left of you. ”  
  
Jensen wished it were that simple. “We should’ve known better, Dani.” _He should've known better._ “We always did our thing. We never wanted to be part of that fucked up system, and just because they gave us a few shiny new toys, we became a part of it. And look what happened. Look what they made us do.”  
  
Dani gritted her teeth. “Jensen, we were kids. We were fucking kids when Lehne recruited us. And let’s face it, if we’d stayed on Ferasion, we would’ve gone to jail sooner or later. Might even have ended up a few planets south of here, digging out diamonds and not getting paid a single coin.”  
  
“I know.” Jensen clenched his jaw and looked out at the mountain. She was right, but it didn’t matter. “Doesn’t change what happened though.”  
  
“And nothing ever will,” Dani shot back. “We can’t go back, Jensen. So you’ll have to learn to fucking accept what we did and move on. Sometimes, that’s all you can do.”  
  
Jensen shot her a look. Dani sounded like she was speaking from experience and not only from their shared military history. He’d always wondered how exactly Dani had grown up. He’d gotten the general gist of it and was able to figure some things out on his own, but she'd never talked about it.  
  
She caught his curious look and shook her head. “That’s what you gotta learn. The past’s the past and dwelling on it won’t help. You can play ‘what if’ the whole day and it won’t change a damn thing.”  
  
Jensen remained silent, waiting to see if she wanted to say more on the matter. When she exhaled and raised her chin, he knew she wouldn’t.  
  
“I want my best friend back,” Dani said quietly.  
  
Jensen couldn’t answer. He hated to hear Dani sound like that. The silence stretched out between them, neither of them looking at the other. Jensen knew Dani so well, he could almost feel her moods — since the additions her emotions were almost tangible to him — and he registered the exact moment she forced her muscles to relax.  
  
“Let’s go get some food,” Dani said with a sigh. “Just — promise me, you’ll try? And if you don’t wanna talk to me, fine, just... find somebody else. Something else to do. I don’t care what it is, but I’m not gonna let you be fucking miserable for the rest of your life.” With that, Dani swirled around and stormed off the balcony.  
  
Jensen was left staring at the vast mountain range. Aimlessly, his eyes followed their ragged crags up until they disappeared into the grey clouds. He knew Dani was right. He just didn’t know how to get there.  
  
Straightening his shoulders, he walked back into the room. Time to meet his new housemates.  
  
  
When he came downstairs, Aldis had already set the table and an older, blonde woman was busy pouring Dani wine. When she saw Jensen, she gave him a warm smile.  
  
“Hi. I’m Samantha. You must be hungry after your trip. Aldis said you just got in?”  
  
“Yeah. We took a transport from the Mehani system,” Dani told her.  
  
Samantha clicked her tongue. “Then you’ve been in transit for a long time. Go on, have a seat, Jensen. Aldis made tarron filet with raspberry crème. You’re gonna love it.”  
  
“Didn’t think you’d be able to get tarron meat out here,” Dani remarked after they’d all sat down and Aldis had brought out a plate with steaming meat and a pot with the crème.  
  
“Oh yeah, only the best for us. JD is a good person like that,” Aldis said.  
  
Samantha rolled her eyes. “More like enticing people to come here. Besides, that man can whine all he wants, he’s rolling in money. I don’t care how much he spends on weapons, the price of annium rises every year. So don’t listen to him when he tells you his poor man’s tale and enjoy the food.”  
  
Jensen couldn’t argue with that. He hadn’t eaten that well since the second mission Dani and he had ever been deployed on. They’d spent three months fighting invading forces off the Rolarion people’s lands and had eaten their delicious fruit every day.  
  
This was pretty good too. Next to Jensen, Dani was making pornographic noises under Samantha’s amused looks. Aldis just preened.  
  
They drank two bottles of wine with their dinner and Samantha and Aldis told them all about which bars and restaurants they had to go to, where to look for concert and performance announcements, and which of the four diners made the best ice cream. It was a good evening. Dani did most of the talking so Jensen could lean back and listen. It was surreal, how almost normal it felt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
  


 

  
  
  
The next morning, Dani and Jensen took the shuttle out to the mining complex. The folder had held all information about transportation, shift starts and where to be when. The electronic glider shuttle stopped in their building complex before every shift beginning and brought all the workers to the mines. A few people eyed them curiously, but no one approached them. Jensen assumed enough people arrived who didn’t stay that people didn’t bother to make contact with the newbies.  
  
The trip lasted only a few minutes and then Jensen could see the mining complex up close for the first time. Several large buildings housing research, primary processing, and the equipment were nestled into the mountain, right next to the entrances of the mines. They were all built out of heavy steel structures with large glass panels that had the slightly corrugated surface of high resistance glass. While the architecture of the complex was compact, Jensen had no trouble identifying transport roads, evacuation roads and firebreaks. Unlike on the walls surrounded the city, the guns lining the roofs of the buildings were pointed towards the jungle and towards the mountain.  
  
Dani seemed to be noticing the same thing, because she cocked her head and eyed the guns warily. “Seems that there are things in the mines they really don’t want to come out.”  
  
“Since we’re here,” Jensen said off-handedly, “might as well find out what it is.”  
  
Dani pursed out her bottom lip and nodded once. “Sure. I mean we didn't come all this way for the food.”  
  
“It was damn good food though.”  
  
“It really was.” Dani had a dreamy expression on her face, then she straightened up and bumped her shoulder against Jensen's. “Feels good to do honest work again, doesn't it?”  
  
“Again?” Jensen asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Dani pretended to think, then she said, “Well, there was that one time on Rolarion. And hey, our first years weren’t all bullshit.”  
  
“True, true.”  
  
“You know, I’m glad you found your sass again,” Dani said thoughtfully. “Almost thought you’d left it back on the base.”  
  
Jensen hit Dani upside the head. It was a reflex reaction from old times. “Ha ha. Let’s just go.”  
  
They made their way towards the gate where a young woman approached them. She was wearing the dark uniform Jensen noticed all security members wore. After serving in the Forces for seven years, he had no trouble picking out those who dealt in violence.  
  
“Ackles and Harris?” The woman asked. “I’m Madison McLaughlin, I’m here to take you to the Colonel.”  
  
Dani shuddered exaggeratedly. “Colonel. I’m never gonna get used to that.”  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes and followed McLaughlin into the complex. It was bustling with activity Jensen knew was from an imminent shift change. Around them, container gliders were transporting weapons and construction equipment, people were walking with quick steps through the large yard area and disappearing into one of four buildings. There was a large hall with an open gate that seemed to host transports — Jensen spotted gliders and full arial ships — from another longer hall were coming loud noises, the screeching of a saw and the grindings of heavy machinery. Jensen assumed that was where they detached the annium from the rocks. Another unassuming building on the side could maybe be maintenance and the high building structure with the steel and the glass front directly built into the mountainside had to be the control center. That was where McLaughlin was leading them.  
  
“Usually new workers only come here on fixed dates, but the Colonel made an exception for you.” She looked back at them and shot them a cheeky grin. “I expect great things from you.”  
  
Great. Just what they needed if they didn’t want to draw unpleasant attention. Jensen was aware they wouldn’t be able to keep their abilities a secret forever, not if they were forced into combat situations, but he could deal without the scrutiny from the start. JD might be all relaxed about it, but Jensen couldn’t afford that kind of attitude. He and Dani had been valuable soldiers, but he had no doubt the Alliance would eliminate them in a heartbeat.  
  
McLaughlin swiped a card to get them into the building. “You should have your ID card already, but that’s only valid for the city. You’ll get a separate security ID for the mines. You’d think unauthorized personnel would keep out based off of good sense, but occasionally people get greedy and can’t resist the lure of the annium. You’ll get a full list of the rules and punishments later, but I can tell you now that if you try to steal annium, you’re out.”  
  
Jensen and Dani nodded. It made sense; black market prices were high enough to get you a comfortable life for a few years for just a palm full of the stuff.  
  
They took an elevator up to the top which opened up to a giant monitoring room. Screens showed ever-changing shots of surveillance cameras of the mines, indexes showed oxygen level, ground vibrations and thermal images. Jensen was pretty sure everything that could be measured, was being measured in here.  
  
A woman in a dark lab coat and short, dark hair approached them. Her skin had a pasty lightness to it Jensen had seen on many people who lived on planets with little to no direct sunlight and whose lights didn’t have enough UV components.  
  
“Welcome. I’m Doctor Rhodes. Jeff told me you were coming and to give you the special tour.” She was all business, but there was curiosity in her voice.  
  
Jensen needed a moment to remember that Jeff was JD’s actual first name, then he scowled. He needed to have a serious chat with JD about what he’d told all these people about them.  
  
“Yes, Ma’am,” Dani said with a smirk, looking Rhodes up and down in blatant appreciation. “Danneel Harris and Jensen Ackles, reporting for duty.”  
  
She might be a little bit older than Dani, late thirties maybe, but Jensen could see why Dani found her attractive. Her face had a clear, strong beauty and she exuded confidence and toughness.  
  
Rhodes raised her eyebrows, clearly unimpressed. “You can stow that Ma’am crap, you’ll address me as Doctor. I’m the leading authority on anything that moves on this planet and the one whose research will save your ass when you come face to face with the creepers. I know your type, Harris. You come here for the money and think you’re all that, and with a big gun in your hand you can do a little bit of monster hunting. Now, I don’t care what Jeff thinks of you, but out here, you listen to me and you’ll show me respect. Got it?”  
  
Dani wiped the leer of her face and stood up straight. “Of course. I apologize, Doctor.”  
  
A shameless flirt she might be, but Dani knew when to knock it off and apologize.  
  
“And I just want to add that just because I appreciate outer beauty doesn’t mean I would minimize intellectual competencies in any way. We look forward to working with you.”  
  
Rhodes huffed, but she seemed mollified.  
  
“Doctor Rhodes, JD told us your expertise on life forms on this planet was unparalleled and I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to introduce us to it,” Jensen said, trying to smooth the waves a bit more.  
  
He figured that their out of turn arrival was rather unusual and that they were already getting special treatment. Jensen didn’t want anyone to think they were being ungrateful or taking things for granted.  
  
She nodded, and gave him a small smile. “Of course. Please come this way.” She turned around to lead them to a big screen. “And eyes on the screen, Harris.”  
  
Dani’s eyes snapped away from Rhodes’ legs guiltily and she looked incredulously at Jensen, mouthing a silent “how?”  
  
Jensen snorted. “Educated guess,” he said too quiet for Rhodes to hear.  
  
Dani punched Jensen in the shoulder and he flicked her ear in retaliation. Old habits died hard.  
  
On the big screen, Rhodes ran them through a quick catalogue of the planet’s flora and fauna. There were three main classifications of life forms, all of them deadly.  
  
“They all have animalistic levels of intelligence,” she explained. “The cerberi are on the bottom of the measurement scale. I classed them at a two, sublevel C.” At Dani’s and Jensen’s blank looks, she sighed. “We classify animal life form intelligence on a level from one to ten. Everything above ten is classified as humanoid intelligence.”  
  
“So what’s the human range, then?” Dani asked.  
  
“You’re probably a ten point five,” Doctor Rhodes said with a smirk, before she pressed a button and the picture of something hulky and dark appeared on the screen.  
  
“Ouch,” Dani said while Jensen tried to figure out the life form’s anatomy, identify limbs and a head, but it looked kind of like a knobbly mass to him.  
  
Rhodes went to the next slide and it showed a different creature, same pale coloring and rough texture, but standing on four defined legs with a huge mouth opened to show sharp, jagged teeth.  
  
“It’s the same creature,” Rhodes said. “A cerberus.”  
  
“How?” Jensen asked. Their forms looked nothing alike.  
  
Rhodes looked grim. “Cerberi have a reformable body mass. I could explain to you how exactly their skeletal structure shifts and realigns so quickly, but let’s just say, that apart from their fixed core, these creatures can form limbs at will, making them extremely dangerous in the tunnels. You think they won’t fit through somewhere and that you’re safe and the next second, they’re right in front of your face.”  
  
That would be a bitch to fight, so Jensen focused on the important thing: “How do we kill them then?”  
  
“You don’t,” Rhodes said. “Not in the tunnels anyway. The precision and ammunition needed to destroy these fuckers without bringing the mines down with them is impossible to orchestrate. We developed good methods to scare them off, but don’t try to kill them. You won't succeed.”  
  
“You never killed one of them?” Dani asked in surprise.  
  
“We have. But out in the open. You can blow up everything with the right ammunition — just not in the mines.”  
  
Dani nodded and Jensen studied the creature. “What are their weaknesses?”  
  
“Bright light. Fire doesn’t work, their skin is covered in a slick secretion which is incombustible. Their hide is so tough, we need to shoot them with carbon steel ammunition to puncture their skin.”  
  
Dani whistled.  
  
“Are you familiar with shooting non-blast weapons?”  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen said. “We can shoot pretty much anything that has a trigger.”  
  
Rhodes shot him a curious look — most people, even soldiers, never learned to fire anything than the common blasters — and Jensen just shrugged. “Thorough training,” was all he gave her.  
  
She didn’t need to know about their proficiency to fix a target better than any scope or their ability to fire a clean shot out of any position, moving or stationary. The additions program was highly classified and Jensen had no desire to spend the rest of his life rotting away on a prison planet for spilling the beans on Alliance secrets.  
  
“Alright then,” she said and turned back to the screen, “maybe you’ll make it then.”  
  
“Let’s hope so. You said something about three main classifications?” Jensen asked.  
  
“Yes.” Rhodes pulled up another picture on the screen.  
  
The creature looked like a mass of legs, or maybe tentacles, with no visible core. When he mentioned that to Rhodes, she gave him an approving look.  
  
“Very good, Ackles. We call them Hydras. They don’t have a central body or nerve system, it runs through their entire body mass. And whatever you cut off, they regrow it immediately.”  
  
“If they only have these leg-like thingies,” Dani said skeptically, “then how do they eat?”  
  
“They wrap all their appendages around their prey and then they release a dissolving agent that basically digests the prey in their arms. Then they absorb the resulting goo,” Rhodes explained.  
  
“Goo?” Dani asked faintly.  
  
“It’s the best description for what remains of the prey.” Rhodes gave Dani a shark-like smile. “You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”  
  
Jensen felt his mouth pull into a grin. Dani was one of the toughest people he knew, could stomach pretty much anything, but when it came to something slimy, she always got a little green around the gills.  
  
“She’s not very fond of all things slimy,” Jensen told Rhodes in a conspiratory tone.  
  
“Well, you try being stuck in a Loranian desert worm’s stomach for a day and not freak out when you see… goo.” Dani shuddered.  
  
Rhodes raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been to Lorania?”  
  
“Yeah,” Dani said with an airiness only someone who knew her really well would recognize as a front. “One of our first missions after we joined the Forces. There was a dispute between the two ruling houses and a lot of civilians were getting hurt. Jensen here came up with the brilliant plan on how to sneak into the palace to steal all their military information. Unfortunately,” here Dani shot Jensen a very dark, slightly dramatized look, “he never bothered to find out why they didn’t guard the canyon behind the palace too well.”  
  
Jensen had a pretty good idea where Dani was going with this, so he rolled his eyes, playing along. “Oh, come on. The thing clearly wasn’t able to digest you and it was a great distraction.”  
  
They’d played this game countless times whenever Dani wanted to impress someone with her prowess without coming off as a bragging douche. Jensen wasn’t the kind of guy to share that much with people he didn’t know, but he’d always have Dani’s back, whether it was in a fight or as her wingman when she was trying to get laid.  
  
“When that thing tumbled me around in its stomach,” Dani said with consternation, “I threw up. Twice! You still owe me for that, Jensen.”  
  
Rhodes let out a small laugh. “I hate to agree with her, Ackles, but Harris here has a point.”  
  
Jensen shook his head unrepentantly. If Dani wanted him to play wingman, she could take a few digs. “Nah. That was payback for leaving me alone when we were escorting the G’moar ambassador across the entire galaxy.”  
  
“That was a walk in the park!”  
  
“Excuse me?” Jensen crossed his arms in front of his chest. This called for some serious needling. “He never stopped talking. For forty-two hours straight. His voice was so nasal and piercing, I couldn’t even fall asleep.”  
  
Dani raised one eyebrow. “Think about what you just said there, about sleeping on the job.”  
  
“Well, if you had been there to relieve me…”  
  
“There was a cute, blue haired girl in his entourage. You know I have a weakness for blue hair, Jensen,” Dani said with big eyes.  
  
Doctor Rhodes was full on laughing now. Grudgingly, Jensen had to admire Dani’s resourcefulness. If her first attempts bombed, she always found a different way in. Even after years of watching her, Jensen was still astounded at her creativity. Ridiculing herself was a good way to get herself back in Rhodes’ good graces. When Dani winked at him, he knew he’d been a good wingman.  
  
“Okay, back to the important things,” Rhodes said once she stopped laughing. “Hydras only rarely show up in the mines, but they all attack the city and the mining complex. As do the manticores.”  
  
On the screen, a bulky beast on four legs appeared. It had the closest resemblance to any animalistic life forms Jensen knew — two legs on the sides of one bulky body, one head. Jensen could actually make out a snout and something that may be ears.  
  
“Their skin is loricate, carbon steel projectiles only work when they’re covered with a diamond tip. Their skin is flammable, but unfortunately it doesn’t burn well. And out of all three, they’re the most aggressive.”  
  
“How aggressive?” Dani asked.  
  
“Seen any trees topple yet?”  
  
Dani and Jensen nodded.  
  
“That’s them fighting,” Rhodes explained. “They’re not territorial, so they wander until they find a fertile partner. As far as I can tell they’re all hermaphrodite. When they encounter another one that’s not fertile that moment, they fight it. To the death, most of the time. The only reason all the species are still around is because they can lay hundreds of eggs in short cycles and it takes them only a few weeks to reach full maturity.”  
  
“Are they only aggressive towards each other?”  
  
Rhodes made a grimace. “Unfortunately not. They’re pretty much aggressive towards any living creature that’s not willing to mate with them.”  
  
Jensen saw Dani open her mouth, had a vague idea where his friend was going to go with this, so he preemptively stepped on her foot. There were things that didn’t need to be said out loud. Thankfully Rhodes didn’t notice and instead continued with her lecture.  
  
“In the mines, you’ll most likely encounter the cerebri, maybe a hydra. The manticores don’t go into the tunnels, but I’m sure you’ll meet one of them sooner or later when they’re trying to bring down the wall.”  
  
“And that’s all there is? Only three species?” Jensen was surprised by the lack of diversity.  
  
“No, there are a few more ones. Little ones that pose no threat to us and are mostly food for the big guys.” Rhodes paused, a somber expression crossing her face. “I’m pretty sure there’s a fourth nasty species out there that played its part in the closing down of the rival mine a few years ago, but there wasn’t any data about it except for records of poison than can kill people and eat through metal structures. Whatever it was, it’s on the other side of the planet and we’ve never had any trouble with it. This is what you need to look out for here.”  
  
“Well,” Dani made a show of rubbing her hands together. “That’s not too bad. We’ll take it.” She pulled a face. “Except for the goo-making ones. Jensen can handle them alone.”  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes. “Wuss.”  
  
“Agreed,” Rhodes said with a twinkle in her eyes, and they were dismissed.  
  
  
  
McLaughlin was already waiting to bring them to their next station.  
  
They took the elevator down again, McLaughlin explaining what was on every level. Below the control station on the upper lever were three levels of research where Rhodes and her team catalogued flora and fauna and investigated the best ways to deal with it. The two levels below that housed the IT department that dealt with everything from a not-working printer to the settings of the security cameras. The ground level had several meeting rooms for the teams and a few break rooms with couches and other areas to relax in.  
  
Once outside, she took them on a quick walk through the transport hangar and the processing plant. Then they went back into the mine, into the underground levels of the control tower. McLaughlin showed them the locker rooms, dining hall, and where they could get their material serviced or replaced if damaged. They took a look at roster plans; she told them how the teams were organized and how many people worked in one team.  
  
“We rotate team members,” she explained. “Obviously, if you work well together, you'll stay together a lot, but different tasks will require different specialists. And if you see the same people every day in high pressure situations… Sometimes it’s good to mix it up.”  
  
“But what about routine, knowing you can count on someone?” Jensen asked. “With Dani here, I know she’ll always have my back.”  
  
“Then you’ll likely stay together. But it’s not like that for everybody and we have a high circulation rate due to injuries, dropouts, and deaths. We have to adapt. Come on, let’s get you into your gear.”  
  
They took the elevator one more level down to what the workers apparently referred to as the dressing room; an old man was sitting bent over a sewing machine, fixing a pair of pants with a thread that shimmered in the light. Jensen recognized the material, it was used in the Forces uniforms as well. Nocka yarn was highly resilient and incredibly difficult to handle. The old man seemed to have no trouble with it. He looked up at them, face filled with wrinkles and a smile.  
  
“Well hello there. What can I do for you two?”  
  
“These are Ackles and Harris,” McLaughlin introduced them. “They’re new.”  
  
“Ah.” The man stood up slowly, body bent by age. “New sets then. Come one in. The name’s Michael and I’ll give you everything you’ll need down there. You wanna stay on my good side, you bring me back everything I give you, no matter how tattered. Everything’s reusable, you understand?”  
  
Jensen and Dani nodded solemnly. Back on Ferasion there’d been an old guy called Tanto, who’d always had some scraps left over for a couple of hungry kids — provided you brought him all the junk you could find.  
  
Michael nodded, then turned to the back where rows and rows of high shelving were filling the room.  
  
“Well, come along. Security wear is back here.”  
  
An hour later, they were decked out in dark combat boots, pants with more pockets than Jensen could count, a multifunctional belt with three little pouches and four loops, an attached thigh holster, and a rope with a tiny grappling hook. The clothes were reinforced with carbon fiber plates making the uniform look more like an armor, but the material was highly flexible. In fact, the material was lighter and more flexible than any Forces gear Jensen had ever worn  
  
Michael looked them up and down, then tugged and pulled at the clothes to check if they fit. “If one of those big buggers gets their teeth around you, these will keep off some of the damage,” he said, patting the chest plate. “This is the best quality money can buy. I’ll have the other sets sent to your lockers now that I know what fits.”  
  
He’d also wanted to give them a helmet with an attached light, but they both declined. Helmets messed too much with their enhanced senses.  
  
“It’s regulation,” Michael protested. “Besides, do you know how often debris falls from the walls?”  
  
Jensen scrutinized him for a moment, wondering how much he knew.  
  
“Does the Colonel wear a helmet?” he asked, testing the waters.  
  
Michael straightened up and pursed his lips. “No. No, he does not.” A quick pause and then, “Well, then, I assume you won’t need the light either.”  
  
Jensen shook his head.  
  
“I’ll still give you the mini flashlights. They can shoot intensely bright, short, light flashes. Creepers don’t like them, you’ll find them useful.”  
  
Michael also gave them a duffel with a standard weapons set. “If you want different guns, come down see me, but try these out first. I put a lot of thought in this compilation, got it?”  
  
Jensen nodded gratefully. “Thank you.”  
  
Michael nodded graciously and slowly limped back to his sewing station. Next to the pants, a gun with a twisted handle was waiting for his attention.  
  
“You stay sharp out there.”  
  
  
  
McLaughlin then led them back up to one of the conference rooms on the ground level in which, according to her, teams were briefed and tasks were planned.  
  
“I think the Colonel wants you with a gate crew, but you’ll see,” she said when they reached one of the metal sliding doors. A little sign said ‘Conference Room 3’ next to it.  
  
“Well, this is as far as I go. Good luck.”  
  
“Thanks,” Jensen said. “Maybe we’ll see each other again.”  
  
She smiled brightly. “Oh definitely. If you decide to stay after the trial period, drinks are on me.”  
  
  
  
Inside the conference room JD was waiting for them. A man and a woman were sitting in the back, intently studying something on a tablet. JD waved them over to a slim brown haired man he introduced as Rob Benedict, mechanical engineer and construction designer extraordinaire.  
  
“Rob adapted and refined most of the technology we use in the gate systems,” JD explained. “Before we had the gates, the death rates were astronomical and we only mined 30 percent of the annium we do today because we had to evacuate so much. Now, with the gates protecting the outer tunnels, the workers can work in relative safety on the inside. Occasionally something breaks through, but it’s much better than before.”  
  
Benedict nodded. “And for that we have you guys, right?”  
  
Dani grinned. “We can’t wait.”  
  
Jensen snorted. He could do without a few more near-death experiences.  
  
“Every gate crew,” JD continued to explain, “has one chief engineer and two construction workers to put the gate together. Rob here usually works with Perkins and Cohen, you’ll meet them later. If the terrain calls for it, they bring an explosives expert along with it. A team leader supervises the security. I’ll put you two on guard and defense duty. You’ll have a techi with you monitoring everything from rock stability to thermal movement indicating an attack, but we’ll see how good your own senses work down there.”  
  
Benedict’s head shot up and he eyed them critically. JD really trusted in his authority no one would make trouble if he mentioned that so openly. Jensen didn’t doubt that their abilities would get noticed sooner or later but he’d liked to do it on his own terms, since he couldn’t exactly tell them the truth. He’d really have to talk to JD about who knew more details.  
  
JD ignored Benedict’s reaction and continued, even though Jensen was sure he’d seen it.  
  
“Until you set up construction, a scout will go down with you, find you a good place. They study the maps and occasionally run the tunnels on their own. Osric told me he’d found a good tunnel, he’ll scout for you this time.”  
  
Benedict nodded in agreement. “I like working with Osric.”  
  
JD inclined his head. “I know.”  
  
The tall man who’d stood in the back stood up and crossed his heavily muscled arms in front of his broad chest and harrumphed. His beard was as salt and peppered as JD’s but the guy’s skin was much darker.  
  
“You sure that’s a good idea, JD?” he asked with a deep voice. “Putting newbies like them in a gate crew?”  
  
JD smiled. “That’s why I’m putting them in your crew. Jensen, Dani, that’s Captain Idris Elba. Down in the mines, there’s no one better watching your back.”  
  
“You can shove your sweet talk up your ass,” Elba said. “I’m not taking them down with me. I don’t care if you know them, three month trial period before you go down, just like everybody else.”  
  
Dani snorted. “Buddy, you have no idea.”  
  
Judging by Elba’s hard stare, it was the wrong thing to say. Jensen was just about to say something to diffuse the tension, when JD spoke.  
  
“I don’t just know them, I served with them. Ackles and Harris were the best soldiers in my platoon.”  
  
Elba raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”  
  
Well, that answered the question if Elba was one of those who knew about JD, but to Jensen, it started to look like everybody on this planet knew that JD and his soldiers had been different. Jensen clenched his fists. JD might feel safe because he was operating one of the biggest annium mines in the galaxy, but Dani and Jensen weren’t so lucky.  
  
“Are you done with your little pissing contest?” the short blonde still sitting at the conference table asked. “I have shit to do.”  
  
“It’s your day off,” Benedict said.  
  
She nodded. “Exactly.”  
  
“Fine,” Elba relented. “If I’m taking them down with me, Alona is gonna stay with me.”  
  
The blonde nodded.  
  
“That leaves two more openings.”  
  
“I want Speight,” Benedict said immediately and JD raised an eyebrow.  
  
“He’s crazy. That okay with you, Idris?”  
  
Elba nodded. “I can work with him. Then I only need a good techi.”  
  
JD called up a file on the screen and went through a couple of names. “I can give you Cassidy or Rand.”  
  
“Cassidy,” Elba said without hesitation.  
  
“Alright,” JD clapped his hands together. “Then we’re done here. Dani, Jensen, play nice with the others. Idris may be a giant asshole, but he knows what he’s doing.”  
  
Dani raised one eyebrow, but Jensen stretched a hand out to Elba. Elba grinned and went for the crushing handshake. Jensen matched his smile, and squeezed Elba’s hand until he could feel the bones shift.  
  
Elba gave him a grudging smile. “I know about you guys. But down in the mines, my word is law. Otherwise I leave you there to die. Understood?”  
  
Jensen let go of Elba’s hand and nodded. “Understood.”  
  
“We’ll meet at Gate 2 in two hours,” Elba said and left with Benedict, leaving the blonde — Alona, Jensen reminded himself — alone with them.  
  
Alona turned to Jensen and gave him a calculating look. “Any chance you’re gonna tell me what that was all about?”  
  
Dani stepped between them before Jensen could answer and gave Alona her most charming smile. “That’s a mighty personal question before the first date, don’t you think?”  
  
Alona just laughed. “Oh, you wish you were that smooth.” She clapped Dani on the shoulder and, still chuckling, left them alone in the conference room.  
  
Dani’s pout was enough to make Jensen smile. “Oh, this is gonna be fun. The people out here are a little bit more resistant to your charm.”

 

 

 

 


	4. Part Three

  


  
  
  
  
Gate 2 was a huge, double sliding door, directly built into the mountain. At least twenty feet high, it would allow for all kinds of machinery to pass through. Elba was already there and showed Jensen and Dani how to operate the gates with their new IDs, which one of JD’s lackeys had brought them after the meeting. One after another, the rest of the crew trickled in and Elba introduced them in quick succession.  
  
A short, dark haired guy was Osric, the scout. He gave them an impish smile before going to talk with Alona. The techi, Cassidy, was a tough, no nonsense blonde that Dani would knock her teeth out on. Speight, the explosionist, made Jensen wary. He knew a lot of guys drawn to fire were unstable and there was something in Speight’s eyes that made the hairs on Jensen’s back stand up. He’d have to watch him.  
  
Perkins and Cohen were dressed in the dark blue coveralls of the construction crew and were already stowing away the matte crates with their tools. Benedict was the last to arrive, driving a long glider loaded with different length metal beams.  
  
“No helmets?” Osric asked, who’d suddenly appeared next to Jensen. The rest of the crew were all wearing their headgear.  
  
Dani leaned over and ruffled Jensen’s short hair. “He’s way too pretty to be covered up, don’t you think?”  
  
Annoyed, Jensen batted her hand away, but he was saved from answering when Elba stepped in.  
  
“Harris and Ackles are as thick-skulled as the Colonel,” he said.  
  
The crew accepted without question. It seemed JD hadn’t exaggerated his authority. Well, Jensen just hoped this wouldn’t come back to bite them in the ass.  
  
“Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” Elba’s voice rose over the noise in the hall. “Alona, show our newbies here what to watch out for and how not to trip over their own feet.”  
  
Osric lead the way with Elba, followed by the glider and the rest of the group walking in the back.  
  
Alona motioned Dani and Jensen to walk with her next to the glider’s front. “As long as we're inside the gated area, we’re safe,” she explained.  
  
“Unless there’s a breach,” Osric threw over his shoulder.  
  
“Unless there’s a breach,” Alona repeated with a slightly exaggerated smile. “But you’ll hear if there’s a breach, trust me. Anyway, as soon as we’re outside, you have to be on constant alert. Cassidy will monitor everything, but sometimes there’s material in the rocks that blocks the sensors.” Her voice was all business now. “Outside of the gates, there’s nothing protecting us from what’s coming for us. Except for us. The protocol is to protect the crew and hold the creepers off while they get their asses back to safety, got it?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Good. You’ll defend first line, I’m on protection detail. JD assured me you guys can handle it.” There was still doubt in their voice and she eyed Jensen calculatingly.  
  
“We can handle it. JD knows us and trusts us. Isn’t that enough?”  
  
Lips pursed, Alona seemed to consider for a moment. Her expression smoothed out again and she shot him a sly look under half lowered lashes. “So what are you people?” She asked quietly.  
  
“Nothing you need to worry about,” Jensen said curtly.  
  
Alona narrowed her eyes, then looked over to Dani who’d walked up to Osric.  
  
“You think I’ll get it out of her one day?”  
  
Jensen had to laugh despite himself. “She’ll love it if you try.”  
  
During his conversation with Alona he’d catalogued this new and foreign environment around him. The temperature of the mine was almost as pleasantly warm as outside. Lights were running across the ceiling, giving a bright artificial gleam. The air smelled slightly stale, but occasionally a draft of fresh air would waft through the tunnel.  
  
They encountered a few people, but it was relatively quiet. Jensen could still hear the hammering and scratching of the mining tools in the distance, but the thick walls of the mountain didn’t let much sound through and the direction of the noise was hard to pinpoint with the way it resounded through the corridors.  
  
“We’re going in in the middle of a shift,” Alona said, back to serious professionalism. “Because we’re still scouting, we don’t have to abide by the regular miner’s shift schedule. There are only two other gate crews currently out there because we just secured a new corridor maze that’s very rich with annium. No need to make us more vulnerable than we have to.”  
  
“Rhodes said it doesn't matter how much we contain ourselves,” Jensen said. “They’re not territorial, just aggressive. Fight each other all the time too.”  
  
Alona nodded. “Yeah, but we don’t have to offer a larger attackable front.”  
  
Jensen couldn’t argue with that.  
  
It took them half an hour to get to the last gate. The guard stationed there greeted them with a nod.  
  
“Martinez. How’s it looking today?” Osric asked cheerfully. The kid never seemed to stop smiling.  
  
Martinez pulled a grimace. “We had a big one sniffing around the gun parameter just at shift start, but we chased it off. Been quiet ever since.”  
  
Osric nodded thoughtfully. “Where did it run off too?”  
  
“Glenda said towards the eleventh quadrant.”  
  
“Oh goodie.” Osric rubbed his hands. “We’re gonna go down towards the twenty third, so maybe we’ll get lucky.”  
  
Martinez snorted and opened the gate for them. It was substantially smaller than the entrance gate, but Rob and his glider still fit through.  
  
“This whole section is relatively new development,” Elba explained quietly. Everything had gotten quieter as as they stepped through the gate. “If we’d gone the other way we could’ve spent hours walking the tunnels before we’d reach a gate. From now on it’s quiet and on guard. Alona stays with the group, Harris and Ackles make the connection with Osric and I’m at the rear.”  
  
“You got it,” Dani said and walked quicker to catch up with Osric. Jensen followed after her.  
  
They walked in silence. Jensen sniffed the air every few feet and strained his ears, but apart from their own echoing steps, there was nothing. About an hour in, his nose detected the faintest trace of something... disgusting.  
  
“What— ” he started, but Osric already held up a fist a few paces in front of him. He crouched down on the ground and traced something on the dirt.  
  
Dani and Jensen stepped closer to inspect the patch. On the rocky ground was a thin layer of something that Jensen couldn’t identify. Wrinkling her nose, Dani looked at Jensen expectantly.  
  
“Slime,” Osric said quietly.  
  
Reluctantly, Jensen reached out and touched it. “It’s hard.”  
  
Osric nodded. “Yeah. It dries out over time. Takes a while though, so it’s a pretty good time indicator. This hard, the cerberus was here last over a month ago.”  
  
“So we’re good?” Jensen asked.  
  
Osric grinned brightly. “Mostly. Fuckers move fast.” He stood up. “C’mon. We have about fifteen more minutes before we can start looking for a spot for a gate.”  
  
“What about all the tunnels going away from this one?” Dani asked.  
  
“Well, we always took the left turn. When this gate is up, we take the first right, and then all left. We’ll make our way around until we have a whole circle of gates and then the miners can come in.” Osric gave them a confused look. “But didn't you guys see the video?”  
  
“What video?” Dani asked, just as confused.  
  
“You seem to be low on people.” Jensen had noticed when they’d come in just how many lockers were empty. “I figured JD needed us down here now so you guys can get moving.”  
  
A thoughtful expression crossed Osric's face. “You’re right. Okay then, let’s move.” The others had almost caught up with them, so they started walking again.  
  
When they reached a spot in the appropriate distance, Benedict scanned the walls for a good spot to start. From the pinched expression on his face, Jensen gathered he wasn’t happy with what he saw. Benedict slowly made his way down the corridor, followed by his wary team.  
  
“Rob, we’re getting too far away,” Elba warned. “We can’t stretch the distance between the gates too far.”  
  
“The annium level is through the roof here, this tunnel is incredible,” Rob said with wide eyes. “Look at this. Look at the size of this vein!”  
  
Elba, Cassidy and Rob all stared at the wall where Rob was carefully scratching away at the surface to reveal the typical bluish, silvery shine of the annium.  
  
“Yeah okay,” Elba agreed. “But not much further.”  
  
Jensen was prepared to go back but Osric disappeared around the bend, only to return a few minutes later saying he found a possible location.  
  
The crew followed his lead, Dani and Jensen walking down the tunnel further, making sure there was nothing coming their way.  
  
Behind them, Benedict was checking the wall out excitedly, declaring it a perfect spot. Jensen and Dani went back to talk perimeter watching with Alona while Benedict, Perkins, and Cohen set up shop and unloaded the glider. The construction had begun.  
  
The day passed uneventfully: Osric scouted the parameter, Cassidy monitored the mines and collected data while Dani and Jensen patrolled the corridor and Elba and Alona stayed with the group. For shift break, they stayed out in the open and Dani and Jensen shared guard duty, while the rest of the crew took their naps stretched out on highly compressible air mats. A thirty hour day wasn’t manageable without sleep in between.  
  
Cassidy had told them earlier that they’d tried just working on the standard galaxy twenty five hour day at first, but it messed with people’s biorhythm too much. So now, people lived the thirty hour day and just took an extensive nap in the afternoon during their fifteen hour shift. Jensen and Dani only got an hour each, but they should be fine. Ever since the additions, they’d needed less sleep. They still needed about four to five hours a night to function and Jensen wondered when his lack of sleep would start to affect him, but for now, he felt fine. The nap was refreshing and as long as he didn’t drift into a deep phase of the REM cycle, there was no danger of nightmares.  
  
Without the workers making noise and their constant chatting, the corridors were eerily quiet, only the slightest sound waves reaching his ears that were nothing but air shifting through the tunnels. At least, he hoped so. Jensen still expected some creature to jump out at the darkness at him while everyone slept and he walked wider parameters than before, but it stayed quiet. Nothing at all happened.  
  
“If I’d known before we came here we’d be doing guard duty,” Dani mumbled belligerently when they crossed paths during the second part of their shift, “I would’ve shot myself.”  
  
Jensen didn’t agree exactly, but it was a close call. He didn’t like the uneventfulness of it; being tense and alert only for nothing to happen. At least the darkness was soothing. The team’s lamps didn’t reach out to him and Jensen stood in the complete absence of light. It made it easier to keep his thoughts from straying in the wrong direction.  
  
Time passed slowly, but eventually their shift ended. They collected all their materials and made the trek back to the entrance. Since it was the first day, they’d taken longer and they left the mines with the rest of those coming off shift now.  
  
“I know we had a long day today, but we’ll still start tomorrow at eight hundred sharp,” Elba said and without any muttering, the group dispersed. Jensen and Dani took the next shuttle home, ate the leftovers Aldis had left for them on the counter and fell into bed.  
  
Jensen was so exhausted he fell asleep immediately, but he still startled awake in the middle of the night, the only lingering memories from his dream the bright light and the feeling of absolute horror heavy like ball of lead in his stomach. It was a long time until he fell asleep again.  
  
The next day in the mines was just as uneventful as the first. The workers made good progress with the gate and Cassidy was very pleased with the annium levels she was getting. Osric wasn’t with them anymore, his job was done, and with one less pair of watchful eyes, Elba, Cassidy, Dani and Jensen were tenser than the day before. Halfway through, Rob encountered a problem and after a short debate with Speight, they decided to blow part of the stone away.  
  
The noise could draw extra attention, so for the rest of the shift Cassidy abandoned her annium readings and concentrated solely on live activity in the mine. Everything stayed silent. It was truly anticlimactic and Jensen could sense Dani’s growing restlessness. At this point, she’d probably prefer an attack. While Jensen wasn’t keen on it, he could relate. Not knowing exactly what was out there and how a confrontation with Wora’s almost fabled beasts would go, if the additions would give them the edge to walk out alive and unharmed, it was pulling at his nerves.  
  
It was the day before the weekend so everybody was looking forward to the end of the shift with fervor. They were running on the GST week of eight work days and two days off. When they were done, Alona proposed they should all go for drinks to celebrate Dani’s and Jensen’s initiation of the mine.  
  
“You don’t seem hopeless, so I’m buying,” Elba said.  
  
They went to a little bar and Dani eyed her ID card. “So, how does this token system work?”  
  
“Didn’t anybody explain this to you yet?” Alona asked.  
  
Jensen shook his head. “Since we arrived here out of turn, it seems we just got thrown in.”  
  
“You have an account,” Alona leaned forward and explained, “and at the beginning of each pay period — the Colonel goes by the GST fifty day period — you get tokens for meals, drinks, groceries, and companions. You don’t have to use them, but apart from the grocery money, they don’t transfer into the next period.” Alona gave them a conspiratorial grin. “The Colonel doesn’t want us to go on a bender too often.”  
  
“I see.” Dani flipped the card over in her hand, while Jensen scanned the people in the bar.  
  
Old habits died hard. He’d always played lookout while Dani did recon.  
  
“How many tokens do we get?” Dani asked.  
  
Alona leaned over and showed Dani how to activate the card and read her balance. Jensen tried it out on his own card. The food and drinks tokens were generously calculated.  
  
“And the companions?” Dani asked, eying a leggy brunette at the other end of the bar, flirting with one of the security guys who’d ridden the shuttle with them.  
  
“They’re obligated to accept at least ten different clients per pay period. It’s their choice, you can’t really force them, but if you can’t come to an agreement with one of them, you can go down to the brothel. They’re bound to find you someone there and every companion has to serve an allotted time of hours in the brothel.” Alona fixed them with a hard glare. “Mistreat any of them, and you’re out on your ass, no money.”  
  
“Don’t worry,” Dani mumbled petulantly. “I know how to behave.”  
  
Alona commented on that with a dry huff. Jensen didn’t really care; while the idea of company, a warm body next to his own, did sound enticing, he’d never liked spending time with someone he didn’t feel some kind of connection with. He’d always thought intimacy should be something special, even if it was just a one night stand. People should care about each other, however brief their time together. Maybe it was because Jensen had spent so much time in emotional isolation that he romanticized relationships now, but he didn’t care. It hadn’t steered him wrong so far.  
  
It wasn’t like he’d never gone with a companion, but he’d only ever gone with the ones approaching him out of a pool of possible clients who he’d been able to talk to and connect with, even if it was just on a superficial level. He didn't want to force himself on anyone and he didn't want to fuck somebody he couldn’t carry a conversation with. Not that he’d been much in the mood for any of that lately anyway.  
  
A clap to the shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts. “Don’t worry,” Dani said cordially. “I’m sure we can find you someone nice.”  
  
Jensen thought about his nightmares and how selfish he’d been the one time he’d been fucking someone after the war while they were still on base and waiting to be discharged. He really wasn’t good company right now.  
  
“No, thanks.”  
  
Alona raised an eyebrow in surprise, while Dani shook her head. “Don’t even try,” she advised her. “Believe me, I did.”  
  
“Being lonely isn’t healthy out here,” Alona said softly.  
  
Jensen thought of Chris and his similar words. “I’m not saying I’m gonna live the rest of my life in celibacy, right now I’m just not good company.”  
  
“Suit yourself,” Alona shrugged, and with her eyes fixed on the door, she stood up. A pretty redheaded woman in her mid-twenties had just walked in and Alona smiled at her.  
  
“You guys behave, I’m gonna have some fun.”  
  
Dani looked after her mournfully. “She’s never gonna sleep with me, is she?”  
  
Jensen threw a coaster at Dani’s head.  
  


 

 

 

 

  
  
  
  
After a week of work, exploring the city and all it had to offer, waking up to his blaring alarm clock and getting ready for work already felt a little bit like routine. Their part of the mine stayed quiet and Jensen watched in fascination as Benedict, Perkins and Cohen built the gate with seasoned routine. They anchored it deeply into the stone so it would withstand even the heaviest creatures.  
  
Cassidy joked about them having found an area that even the creatures didn’t like and Speight cussed her out for ruining their good streak. Unfortunately, he was right.  
  
The last day of the construction, Jensen heard something on his perimeter scan. He stilled, concentrating outwards. It wasn’t so much sounds as a long shifting of air.  
  
“Dani,” he called out quietly, knowing his friend could hear him.  
  
Dani jogged over to him. “What? You hear something?”  
  
Jensen strained his ears, but it was quiet. “I thought I did, but now it’s quiet again.”  
  
They both listened again, hearing nothing out of the ordinary.  
  
Dani smiled almost regretfully. “Well, seems—”  
  
“Incoming!” Cassidy roared behind them. The group bustled into movement, the engineers getting on the glider together while Speight readied the charges to collapse the tunnel if it came too close. Then he and Cassidy got onto the glider — Alona, Elba, Dani, and Jensen had taken up positions to defend and before they could join the others, a creature was there.  
  
Jensen heard the approach about a second before it came into view, moving through the corridor in a wavelike movement and bringing with it an intensely rotten stink. It was a cerberus and it was huge.  
  
They opened fire and sought shelter in the niches in the rocks.  
  
“We need to keep it occupied before it can reach the glider,” Elba shouted.  
  
“We don’t have position here!” Jensen called back. The creature had halted for now, reforming its body, but they were sitting ducks in the corridor.  
  
“There’s a cove half a mile back,” Dani yelled. “You set up there, I’m gonna distract the fucker.”  
  
“No! Harris, that’s a negative, that thing will eat you — oh, for fuck’s sake.”  
  
Dani had already gotten up and charged at the creature. _Shit._ Jensen left his cover and ran after her.  
  
“Ackles, get back here!”  
  
Jensen didn’t listen. He’d made a vow when he was nine years old and he wouldn’t break it now.  
  
Behind them, he heard Alona and Elba fall back, but he couldn’t concentrate now. Dani had somehow disappeared into the cerberus’ mass and Jensen had to get her out.  
  
He aimed his gun at the points where its body shifted in on itself, and then he just jumped. He landed on the cerberus’ sticky surface, sliding his fingers into the diamond tipped claw hand at his belt and then he hooked himself into its skin.  
  
“Dani! You stupid fucker, where are you!”  
  
A grunt from below told him what he needed to know. Never letting the cerberus’ expanding and detracting appendages out of sight, Jensen slid down what he thought was its flank and rolled across the floor, avoiding getting trampled to death by a hair’s breath. The smell of the cerberus was almost suffocating down here.  
  
Dani was half covered by a heap of rubble, her dark red hair like a neon sign against the dark rocks, stabbing at the creeper’s attacking limbs with one hand and shooting her handgun with the other.  
  
“Get off of me, you stinky, fugly bastard.”  
  
Jensen slid over to her, pulled her out with a jolt and together they moved out of range. Their heavy breathing was loud in the quiet corridor.  
  
“It’s so creepy that they don’t make a sound,” Dani muttered, just when the cerberus shifted and a huge mouth with giant uneven and jagged teeth opened directly in front of them. They jumped out of the way and Jensen’s vest took the brunt of the force.  
  
“Up,” Dani ordered and without having to think about it, Jensen sent her flying with a boost.  
  
They worked together like a well-oiled machine, like they’d always done, in the streets of Ferasion, on every mission they’d ever been sent on. Jensen hadn’t felt really in tune with Dani since the end of the war, he’d been pulling back too much to protect her, but now, fighting side by side, it felt like before, when it was just the two of them against the universe.  
  
The cerberus’ body seemed to follow Dani’s movement so Jensen distracted it with several shots in its open mouth. When Dani did something to shift the cerberus’ focus towards her, Jensen slid through a thin opening in its appendages, sliding over the ground and then together they ran away at full speed.  
  
Jensen almost felt like he was flying and through the sweat running down his face, he felt himself smile. One of the cerberus’ appendages hit across their backs when they entered the cove and Jensen and Dani sailed through the air. He rolled himself to a ball and landed smoothly, only his back hurting from scratching over the rough ground.  
  
He heard Elba shout “Cover!” and he had just enough time to wrap his arms around his head before a giant flash of light went off and rapid gunfire from heavy artillery sounded. Elba must’ve put up the rapid fire machine gun.  
  
When Jensen opened his eyes again, the area was clear. Alona came over to him and stretched out a hand to pull him up. “You two are batshit crazy. Welcome to the mines.”  
  
Through the dust covering their faces, Jensen and Dani grinned at each other. Adrenaline was rushing through Jensen’s body and the euphoria of surviving a fight with his life, Dani by his side, made him feel almost like he was walking through a low gravity field.  
  
“You two fools,” Elba grumbled. “What did I tell you about leaving your sorry asses down here to die?”  
  
Jensen and Dani just started laughing. It was as much exhilaration as it was the sudden absence of tension after a fight.  
  
“Aww, c'mon, you love us,” Dani said with a winning smile. “We just saved your butt and gave you a perfect shot.”  
  
Elba glared for a moment longer, than he nodded at them with grudging respect. “You did good. Still crazy and reckless, but good. Now I know what you can do though, and the next time I tell you to stay put, you will. Got it?”  
  
“Sure thing, Captain.”  
  
With the adrenaline of the fight receding and his pulse evening out, Jensen just felt good. This was what he was best at, always had been; watching Dani’s back and escaping some evil scum.  
  
Eventually they all ended up laughing, and Elba clapping them on the shoulder, telling them they could call him Idris. It was only when they made their way to the gate that Jensen realized that the cuts on his back, which he hadn’t thought were too bad, were still bleeding. He sighed. Looked like he had to go to a doctor for the first time since the additions. Fucking cerberus.  
  
  
  
After Jensen came out of the shower, he dressed in pants and boots and went over to the medic’s office. Since the scratches on his back were still oozing blood, he hadn’t bothered with a shirt. The nurse in the front eyed him appreciatively, though Jensen thought he must see well-built people in here every day. Jensen still gave him a polite nod and he assigned him to one of the small examination rooms. Apparently, the doctor would be with him shortly.  
  
Jim Beaver was old and grumpy, hair and beard more gray than light brown, and he scolded Jensen through the whole process of gluing his skin back together. Jensen though it might be his way of showing concern.  
  
“Why didn’t you come to me before you showered?” Beaver asked. “I’ve smelled worse.”  
  
Jensen shrugged, sending a sharp spike of pain through his back. “I thought it would heal on its own.”  
  
“Heal on its… oh.” Beaver paused. “That’s right, JD mentioned you served with him.”  
  
Jensen inclined his head. So the doctor knew as well. At this point, Jensen wasn’t even surprised anymore. JD had mentioned a handful of people knowing about his abilities, Jensen suspected it were much more.  
  
“Well,” Beaver said, tone all business again, “the cerberi are covered in a secretion that affects even someone like you.”  
  
At least, the doc sounded unfazed. Jensen waited, just in case, but Beaver didn’t elaborate. Good. So Jensen just asked, “But you can fix me?”  
  
“Sure.” Beaver rummaged around in a drawer. “The normal skin glue won’t work on you, but I patched JD up from time to time, so I know how to deal with you guys.”  
  
Half an hour later, Jensen’s wounds were treated and he walked back to the locker room. JD was there, chatting with Dani and Alona.  
  
“There you are,” JD said, “we’ve been waiting for you.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
JD grinned and handed him a flask. “You survived your first contact. It’s customary that the Colonel takes you out for drinks.”  
  
Jensen raised a mocking eyebrow. “Does the Colonel always speak of himself in the third person?”  
  
Alona snorted and JD rolled his eyes. “Watch it, kiddo. Unless you wanna spend the night alone.”  
  
“Doesn’t bother me,” Jensen said and drank from the flask. Strong alcohol burned down his throat, making his eyes water. He could feel the liquor running down the walls of his empty stomach and a wave of tingling warmth swept through his body.  
  
“You’ll sing a different song after you’ve seen the possibilities,” Alona said. “JD only hires the really pretty ones. C’mon now. First round of real drinks is on me.”  
  
Jensen nodded, wiping a tear from his suddenly watering eyes and gave JD his flask back. “What the fuck is that shit?”  
  
JD laughed. “Just a little shine I brew. Special juice for special people. Rhodes helped me come up with the recipe, there are some rather helpful plants out here.”  
  
Jensen coughed while Dani reached for the flask. Well, they had trouble getting drunk on most commercially produced liquor, so it was no wonder JD came up with his own stuff.  
  
  
  
The bar was bright, loud and bustling with people. The music was good, some old school, instrumental, Old Earth stuff. Jensen recognized a few of the people, some soldiers, some workers. Aldis was sitting at the far end of the long, curved bar, deep in conversation with a blond, squinty-eyed guy.  
  
So far, all people he’d encountered were human. He’d thought that on an outer rim planet, he’d encounter maybe a few humanoid or even completely alien people, but nothing. It made sense though; Wora was still part of the Old Galaxy which was primarily settled by humans. Other life forms had either been assimilated or wiped out centuries ago in the First Wars. Humans did love superiority and war. Jensen looked around the bar. This was where it had gotten him.  
  
He shook his head, already slightly buzzed just from a few sips from JD’s flask. JD got them a table in a corner. There were plush sofas and floating drink stations that offered everything from beer to vapor shots. Dani somehow managed to get Alona sit down next to her on a loveseat, though she seemed more amused than anything else. Speight sat down in a big armchair and immediately two beautiful people swarmed over to him, sitting down in the armrests and petting his chest and hair.  
  
JD and Jensen sat down on a lounger sofa and JD waved a waiter over.  
  
“Do me a favor, Marek, and get Jared over here.” JD grinned at Jensen. “He’s the best; just what you need.”  
  
“I appreciate it, but shouldn’t he keep _you_ company? After all, you’re the boss. Colonel,” Jensen added with a smirk.  
  
“Punk,” JD muttered, but his smile was good natured. “I don’t want Jared. Not that he’s not great, but I have… other pursuits. Trust me, he’s perfect for you.”  
  
Jensen didn’t think so, but he just filled himself a glass with some lemony tasting concoction from the drink station and JD didn’t hesitate to top it off with the burning liquid from his flask. Jensen wasn’t a stranger to paid company, but he had changed after the end of the war. If there was salvation for him, it wasn’t in the arms of another person. They were short-lived distractions, nothing more. In the end, he’d been sharing his bed with another person and feeling more isolated than ever.  
  
When Marek returned, his expression was regretful. “I’m sorry, Colonel, but Jared already agreed to spend the night with Captain Huffman.”  
  
“Well, that won’t do.” JD stood up. “Be right back.”  
  
Jensen watched him go over to another table where a bunch of guards were sitting. They were easily identifiable by the air with which they carried themselves, straight spines and always alert to their surroundings, even when they were relaxing. Most of them were carrying visible weapons, something that was a necessity out here, even though the last parameter breach had happened over a year ago.  
  
JD approached a fierce-looking redheaded woman. Next to her sat a young man with almost shoulder long, shiny brown hair. He was definitely not a guard. JD talked to Huffman, then to the guy, and with a smile, the young man stood up and followed JD over to where Jensen was sitting.  
  
“Jared, Jensen. Jensen, Jared.” JD gave Jensen a lewd smile. “I’ll accept your humble thanks tomorrow morning. Or, well, afternoon.” With a laugh and a wink, JD turned around and walked to the bar, over where Doctor Rhodes and a few other people Jensen had seen around the lab were sharing a pitcher.  
  
Jensen scrutinized Jared while finishing his drink. Jared was tall, easily a few inches taller than Jensen. With the slim dark pants and the soft looking green tunic, collar open and held in place by a broad, brown belt, he looked attractive and approachable, the look every companion was supposed to achieve. He looked young, not older than his early twenties, and there was a playful smile dancing on his lips. They were enticing, those lips, wide and pink in an attractive face with high cheekbones and slanted eyes of indeterminable color.  
  
“Satisfied?” Jared asked with a smirk.  
  
Jensen shook his head and refilled his glass. “I’m sorry, kid, I know JD means well, but you should go back to Huffman.”  
  
“Captain Huffman,” Jared corrected him. “And the Colonel was very insistent. Said you were a hero.” With one fluid movement Jared sat down right next to Jensen. “Colonel said you worked hard and deserve a good night.”  
  
Jensen raised his glass. “That’s what I plan on doing. Having a good night out with my crew. Party until the sun rises and all that shit.”  
  
Shaking his head, Jared reached out to him and touched two of his long fingers to the crow’s feet lining Jensen’s eyes. “You look like you’ve been partying the entire week. Maybe it’s time to tone it down a bit.”  
  
Jensen snorted. “I haven't been partying.”  
  
“Then why are you so tired?” Jared asked, giving Jensen a concerned look.  
  
Jensen tried to shrug it off. “Just not sleeping well. Maybe it’s the new bed and all that.”  
  
Jared eyes twinkled in humor. “Regular princess on a pea, are you?”  
  
Now Jensen had to laugh. It was so far away from the truth, it wasn’t really funny, but the booze and Jared’s smile made his head swim.  
  
“Wouldn’t have pegged you for someone who knows Old Earth stuff.”  
  
Not many people still knew the Old Earth stories. In the orphanage Jensen had grown up in, they’d had one old, beaten copy. It had been one of the few books, and Jensen had devoured it.  
  
Jared smiled. “I’d be curious to know what _would_ make you think someone knew about the Old Earth stuff then. But I know them all, all the old fairy tales. I tell a mean bedtime story too. Maybe that’ll help with your pea problem?”  
  
“A regular Scheherazade, aren’t you?” Jensen asked, trying to ignore how his skin tingled at Jared’s touch. It had been a long time since someone had touched him with intent.  
  
For a blissful moment, he leaned into it, the tips of Jared’s fingers running down the beginning stubble in his cheeks, a feathery soft caress until Jared turned his fingers and his short nails deliciously scratched along Jensen’s jaw up to the sensitive skin under his ear.  
  
Jared threw his head back and laughed. “You’re not too bad with the Old Earth stuff yourself.” Then Jared leaned forward. “So, wanna find out if I can keep up with Scheherazade?”  
  
Through the haze of the booze and getting lost in Jared’s touch, Jensen tried to concentrate, but he had no idea what Jared was talking about. Distantly, muted surprised registered at Jared actually understanding the reference to one of Old Earth’s oldest tales, but Jensen lost his train of thought entirely when he blinked up in Jared’s pretty, pretty face, surrounded by his pretty, shiny hair.  
  
“What?”  
  
Jared gave him a small, almost fond smile. “I asked if you wanted to find out about the stories I could tell you.”  
  
Reflexively, Jensen nodded his head, wanted to tell Jared how much he was looking forward to that, but his vision blurred slightly and when Jared came back into focus, Jensen remembered he’d been trying to tell Jared no.  
  
There had been one or two companions before the final offense of the war, and then after he’d tried to find oblivion in a companion’s arms on the base. He’d spent two almost sleepless nights with her, waking every time she moved, unable to relax and fall asleep. Not that he slept much better on his own. Usually he’d at least enjoy the sex, giving and receiving pleasure, but he’d felt too raw, too tainted to be able to touch someone else properly and to enjoy their touch.  
  
Nowadays, the guilt was a familiar companion, waiting in the background for Jensen to sleep before it came back full force.  
  
Jared smiled at him and leaned forwards. His eyes were a compelling mix of blue, green and brown, and they were sparkling with mischief. Jensen took a big sip to stop himself from leaning in.  
  
“So how about we get out of here,” Jared whispered into Jensen’s ear, his hot breath blowing softly against Jensen’s neck and hand resting on Jensen’s arm.  
  
Jensen sighed and tried to keep his head straight. Jared was... tempting. But he knew it wouldn’t help, wouldn’t make a difference at all. Darkness and silence were his only friends, and another body next to him would make sleeping even more impossible than it already was.  
  
“I appreciate the offer,” Jensen said, surprised by how slurred his voice was, and leaned back. “But I’m gonna have to decline.”  
  
Jared’s eyes widened in surprise and he bit his lower lip. Calculatingly, he looked over to JD, then back to Jensen.  
  
“If you say no, the Colonel won’t like it.”  
  
Jensen raised an eyebrow. “That a problem?”  
  
JD might be hard but he was always fair. At least he had been when he’d served in the Forces.  
  
Jared shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe, maybe not. But you look like you could need some company. Whatever you think your demons are, I can help.” Jared kept tracing Jensen’s arm, playing with the hem of his shirt’s sleeve.  
  
“Oh, you’re a therapist now, too,” Jensen asked facetiously. Jared’s light mood was contagious and the alcohol was making Jensen loose-limbed and relaxed.  
  
Jared scooted up right next to Jensen and looked at him earnestly, all coyness gone from his face. “I’m here to make you feel better, however that goes.”  
  
Looking at Jared and saying no was hard. Jensen had felt good today, in the mines, having Dani’s back and fighting off some bloodthirsty creature. He wanted to keep feeling like that. And Jared was so fucking _pretty_.  
  
Slowly, Jared leaned in. He gave Jensen time to move away if he really wanted to, but right that moment, Jensen didn’t. He wanted to kiss Jared. He couldn’t remember why that was a bad idea anymore.  
  
The kiss was soft, just a slow press of lips against lips, then Jared drew back. He hesitated, eyes searching Jensen’s face. “You want to come with me?”  
  
“Only if you want me to.”  
  
Jared’s eyebrows shot up, disappearing under the bangs falling into his face.  
  
“If you’d rather spend the night with someone else,” Jensen said and waved his hand in the general direction of the rest of the bar.  
  
Huh. He was much drunker than he’d thought. Thank fuck he had enough presence of mind to offer Jared a way out if he wanted.  
  
“No, I think I’ll like you just fine,” Jared said, trailing a hand over Jensen’s shoulder. “You’re… different. Besides, how can someone be a bad choice when he likes Old Earth fairy tales?”  
  
“In some of them weird shit happens,” Jensen muttered, because really, a girl in a red cape getting seduced by a wolf?  
  
Jared laughed again. “Definitely. But it’s what makes them so interesting. So how about it?”  
  
Jared’s smile was open and inviting, no lie to detect, and Jensen was done saying no. He didn’t know how the night would end or how much he’d regret it in the morning. He knew that Jared had no idea what he was getting himself into, but dammit, Jensen could use a human touch right now.  
  
“Lead the way,” he said and Jared’s answering smile was blinding.  
  
  
  
“So how does this work?” Jensen asked when they’d entered Jared’s apartment in one of the nice high rises in the city. The short walk had helped sober him up some but he was still pleasantly buzzed.  
  
“However you want it to work,” Jared said with a soft smile. “But you look like you need someone to take care of you.”  
  
When Jensen didn’t deny it, Jared stepped closer. Slowly, he brought his hands up to Jensen’s shoulders and pushed his jacket off. Jensen closed his eyes, just concentrated on where Jared’s warm fingers were slowly dancing over his skin.  
  
Jared undressed him carefully, always lightly touching him.  
  
“What do you want?” Jared asked, and Jensen opened his eyes. Jared was staring at him with concentration, like he was trying to see straight into Jensen's soul.  
  
Jensen stepped back to the bed and laid down on it. “You can do whatever you want. I just want to feel you.”  
  
Jared looked at him curiously, slightly doubtful. “There must be something you prefer. Technique, position.” He quirked his lips in a playful smile. “Do you like it slow and tender, or hard and rough?”  
  
Jensen’s heartbeat picked up at all the possibilities and he could feel his dick hardening. “I’m happy when you’re happy. Just… come here.”  
  
Jared smiled hesitantly, and then opened his belt and let it fall down to the ground. He pulled off his tunic, revealing smooth, tanned skin Jensen had seen only hint of under the open collar. He sat down next to Jensen and touched the palm of his hand, then dragged his fingers lightly up Jensen's arm, following the lines of the muscles. His deliberate touch sent shivers through Jensen’s whole body.  
  
“Show me what you want,” Jared said and it was almost hypnotic, making Jensen sleepy. Maybe the booze was really kicking in now.  
  
“Why won’t you show me what you want,” Jared muttered, his voice frustrated and strained, and pressed a flat hand on Jensen’s chest.  
  
Jensen wanted to ask what was wrong, but his body and mind felt heavy and he fell asleep without ever speaking a word.  
  


 

 

 

 

  
  
  
  
Well, fuck. Ackles had passed out.  
  
  
Quietly, Jared stood up and walked out of his bedroom. After putting on his tunic again, he poured himself a glass of carbonated water in the kitchen and tried to figure out what had just happened. Ackles had been tipsy, maybe even drunk, depending on how well the guy functioned when he was intoxicated, but Jared hadn’t thought he’d be drunk enough to just pass out, never mind Jared getting a look inside his mind. Sure, it was difficult when people were drunk, but Ackles’ mind had been strangely blank.  
  
Jared drummed his fingers on his kitchen table. He wondered if he was losing his touch. That was ridiculous, though, his abilities had never failed him before. Or maybe Ackles had a brain injury? It could’ve been just the booze, but Jared couldn’t be sure. Fuck.  
  
He tried to think back to other clients that had been drunk and even the almost unconscious ones, he’d still gotten something. He paced around the kitchen, emptying his glass and pouring himself another. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_.  
  
Maybe it was nothing. It could be nothing. It could be a number of things that Jared couldn’t even imagine, and none of them had to be bad. He just had to hope Ackles wouldn’t suspect anything. In case he did, Jared would just blame the alcohol. He’d seen the Colonel waving the flask with his home brew around and everybody knew that stuff knocked you straight out.  
  
Unsettled, he opened his fridge to root around for some comfort food. Since he couldn’t be sure what had just happened — if something had happened at all — he decided to let Ackles sleep, even though Jared never let his clients spend the night. Jared would have to sleep on the couch if he didn’t want to share a bed with Ackles, but for one night, he could deal.  
  
The couch was too hard and a bit too short, so Jared woke after an unfulfilling night’s sleep. When he checked on his unwelcome guest, he saw that Ackles was still sleeping like the dead.  
  
Jared debated whether he should wait for him to wake up, but then he chickened out. He left Ackles a note, explaining he had to leave, but that he should help himself to food in the kitchenette.  
  
He quickly got dressed in another belt and a vest, then he went outside. Not too far from his apartment was a little park; it was planted with pretty imported plants, nothing that grew in the jungle beyond the walls. Jared had always liked it, a peaceful island in their little war zone. He still wasn’t sure what had happened with Ackles, but he didn’t want to worry about it now. If Jared was losing his ability, he’d have to leave Wora before his contract was up. He couldn’t do this job for real, especially not now that his clients had expectations. To figure this out, he’d had to take another meeting though.  
  
He laid down on a bench, put his earbuds in and tried to relax. It wouldn’t help to alarm himself about it now. It took him a while, but he managed to lose himself in the music and block out all the worrying thoughts Ackles’ arrival had brought. He was entirely unprepared when a hand touched his shoulders.  
  
Jared startled, and opened his eyes to see Tahmoh leaning above him with a smile.  
  
“Hey Jared.”  
  
“Sheesh, Tahmoh, you scared the crap out of me.”  
  
Tahmoh gave him a contrite smile. “Sorry about that. I just saw you lying around here, beautiful as ever, and I was wondering if you have time for me.”  
  
Jared just barely refrained from rolling his eyes. Tahmoh’s speech was always so flowery. He was also one of Jared’s more persistent clients. He worked security in the mines and came from the warrior caste of one of the socially rigid and conservative planets. His self-assuredness and entitlement showed occasionally; it wasn’t always easy to keep a good balance with him.  
  
So Jared gave him his sweetest, most dimpled smile to let him down easy. “Sorry, I need a day off. But how about you give me a call tonight, and we’ll make plans.”  
  
Tahmoh was visibly disappointed, but to his credit, he tried to hide it. “Alright. I’ll call you later then.”  
  
Jared waved him goodbye and leaned back on the bench. Maybe he’d need to find a new spot to relax. For now, Jared decided to stay a while longer. He wasn’t keen on talking to Ackles. What if he remembered last night, remembered nothing had happened except him passing out? Maybe Jared could tell him he just didn't remember all the awesome sex they'd had. Or tell him unfortunately little Ackles wasn’t up to the challenge and then big Ackles had passed out. Or maybe, Jared would just keep sitting here and hope Ackles found his own way out and didn’t come back.  
  
  
  
When Jared came back to his apartment hours later, Ackles was gone. Under Jared’s note he’d added a ‘ _Thank you. I slept wonderfully. I hope you like the coffee_.’  
  
Jared looked over to the thermos board where his coffee pot was half filled with still steaming liquid. Unbelievable. Jared let out an incredulous laugh. Ackles had made him coffee.  
  
Curiously, Jared sniffed the aroma wafting out of the pot smelling like coffee and something else. He poured himself a cup and took a careful sip. His eyes flew open, because that right there? Was the best coffee he’d ever head. He wasn’t sure about the spices in there, maybe glion and a hint of chili, but the way the taste blended together was incredible. Jared had a whole rack of spices in his well-stocked kitchen, most of which he’d never used, and he had no idea how Ackles had pulled this off.  
  
He drank the rest of the cup and thought he wouldn’t mind seeing Ackles again, if only for the coffee. Unfortunately, it would probably not be a good idea. If Jared couldn’t read or manipulate Ackles’ mind, there was no way he could do his job. Then again, Jared was more than a bit curious to figure out what had gone wrong last night. He’d have to think about it before he saw Ackles the next time.  
  
He spent his day cleaning up his apartment and then continuing to read the _Concise Encyclopedia of the Andromeda Galaxy_. So far, it seemed rather human friendly, making Jared curious about the different planets that could be inhabited by humans.  
  
After dinner, he called Tahmoh. That way he’d at least find out if he was losing his abilities, or if had been Ackles’ fault Jared hadn’t been able to use his powers. And there was no reason not to make a little extra money for his retirement fund. They were nearing the end of the pay period and Tahmoh had already used all his tokens on Jared. While it was important to keep the balance and preferentiate clients with tokens over those who’d already spent theirs, it was those meetings that brought hard cash. The people working on Wora generally didn’t have a lot of cash when they got here, and the only money they got before their contract was up was that for the yearly vacation time when they wanted to go off planet. Tamoh saved his to spend it on Jared. Jared always felt a bit bad doing it with Tahmoh, because the man was clearly so focused on him, but Jared had to think of himself here. And, as Chad liked to point out, Tahmoh got good service for his money.  
  
Jared didn’t want to live the rest of his life on this hell hole in constant danger of getting eaten by something that could breach the barrier or be discovered by someone loyal to the Alliance. Jared’s and Chad’s plan was still to get out of the Old Galaxy, someplace that didn’t have an extradition treaty with the Alliance. If Jared managed to get that far away, it would be a place entirely foreign to him where it would take him a long time to master the language and customs. No, unfortunately, for that Jared would need a lot of money.  
  
When Tahmoh arrived at his place, Jared gave him a light kiss in greeting. Tahmoh leaned in for more but Jared playfully rolled his eyes and pushed him away. He hated this part of it, where he really truly had to put on a show, act and lie his heart out.  
  
“You know the rules.” Jared forced himself to smile. “Boots off first. I don’t want you carrying all that dirt through my apartment.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah.”  
  
To appease him, Jared took off his tunic while he walked towards his bedroom and Tahmoh almost stumbled over his feet in his hurry to follow him. Jared waited for Tahmoh, then pushed him down onto the bed, and made a show of opening his pants and licking his lips.  
  
“Alright, sugar, what do you want today?”  
  
Some clients were easy, told him outright what they wanted and Jared didn't need to go sifting through their minds too deeply, separating their sexual desires from the rest. Unfortunately, Tahmoh only ever gave him the general “You!”  
  
Jared smiled and reached out. As soon as he touched Tamoh’s skin, Tamoh’s desires flooded Jared’s mind. He was able to focus on Tahmoh’s sexual fantasies immediately, so often had he already done this. He was able to ignore all the other images and wayward thoughts that assaulted his mind. It was still a relief that the strangest thing Tahmoh ever wished for involved whipped cream and a comb. There were others where Jared had seen things he’d never wanted to know were possible. In the beginning, it had been a serious downside because it had been hard to filter what he needed, but nowadays finding a person’s carnal desires had become as routine as putting on his clothes. With how practiced he was, it didn’t take much to twist them around and make Tahmoh think they were actually happening.  
  
It felt like it always did, stretching his mind like he was stretching an invisible muscle, pushing forward as if he was swimming underwater until he was in the center of the whirls of Tamoh’s desires. They lightened up in bright red, leading Jared towards the images he just had to touch and spin, pull up and project back to Tamoh.  
  
Tahmoh’s eyes stared off-center into the distance, only seeing the vision Jared projected into his mind. So while Tahmoh lay panting on the bed, enjoying whatever fantasy he wanted to live out today, Jared could go back to his book. In the beginning, he’d had troubles timing the visions right, but nowadays he knew how hard to spin and how deep to push. It was a good thing Chad had let him practice so much on him in the beginning even though that had let to one or two awkward situations.  
  
With Tahmoh lying on Jared’s bed caught up in the passion of his vision, it had definitely been Ackles’ fault Jared had been unable to read him. Despite his better judgement, he was curious. It would be a big risk to see Ackles again, but Jared wanted to know what Ackles’ deal was. Maybe if the man was less drunk, Jared could get a grip on his mind. Jared rubbed his face. It was probably not a good idea, even if he was morbidly curious. The city was a small place, sooner or later, they’d meet again. It might be safer to see what Ackles’ deal was as soon as possible.  
  
In this fugue state that Tahmoh was in now, time passed slower in this mind, so a fuck that might only take fifteen minutes in reality lasted an hour in his mind. There was a reason Jared had such a good reputation after all.  
  
When the fantasy came to an end, Jared sat down at the edge of the bed and concentrated to project the idea of the aftermath, cuddling and getting dressed again. Sometimes it was harder to find those images and he had to take several desires, take them apart and create a new vision. It was much more difficult, but with practice, Jared had mastered that as well. He just couldn’t create vision out of nothing, but as soon as a person had coveted it, Jared could work with it. He stroked Tahmoh’s hair, slowly pulling out of Tahmoh’s mind.  
  
“Hey sleepyhead. No drifting off in my bed.”  
  
Tahmoh opened his eyes, still looking slightly dazed, and grinned at him. “Why not? You could let me spend the night.”  
  
Jared shook his head. “You know I don’t do that.”  
  
Last night with Ackles had been the only exception, but Tahmoh didn’t need to know that.  
  
“Maybe someday I can sway you,” Tahmoh said hopefully.  
  
Jared just shook his head and stood up. Behind him, Tahmoh sighed but Jared could hear him standing up.  
  
“You’ll see, Jared, one day.”  
  
“Tahmoh, please.” Jared didn’t want to have this discussion again.  
  
Tahmoh held up his hands placatingly. “Alright, alright. I’ll wire you the money later.”  
  
Jared nodded and leaned in to give him a kiss to the cheek. “Have a good night.”  
  
Tahmoh wanted to say something, opened his mouth and then closed it again. Jared walked him to the door and saw him out. Well, shit. He might have to cool it down with Tahmoh, at least until the next pay period. Extra money or not, Jared didn’t want to deal with Tahmoh pushing for more. There had been too many images Jared had caught of himself in Tahmoh’s mind that had nothing to do with sex. It was bad enough to deceive his clients like that, he didn’t want to get Tahmoh’s hopes up. Who knew what loving looks he thought Jared gave him during their encounters. It wasn’t the first time this had happened — with Jared’s ability to fulfill his clients’ every wish it was just a question of time, really — but it was always nerve wracking and dangerous.  
  
It happened occasionally that people demanded things Jared couldn’t do without giving away his rouse — “it would be so hot if you were naked on the bed when I come in, already tied to the bed,” and “can I surprise you in the shower and you know, you fight me a little and then…” or even “I want you to blow me under the table in the diner” — and as soon as his clients were feeling affectionate towards him, they not only wanted sex, but also to talk to him and do other things with him. Jared hated lying to them in the long term like that, and while he’d become good at the whole seduction thing — there had been a lot of advice from Laur, Chad’s friend — he just couldn’t fake conversations for hours, not when he didn’t really enjoy their company.  
  
Tiredly, Jared rubbed his face. This might be the best way to make the most money in a short amount of time, but sometimes he wondered if it was really worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

  
  


 

  
  
  
  
  
“Cover!”  
  
Jensen was in motion before Cassidy finished yelling, had started to run the moment the lights on her control panel flashed. The rocks above them had been rumbling throughout the day, but he wasn’t familiar enough with their sounds to know when danger was imminent.  
  
Now he just ran towards where he’d heard the noise. He heard the ceiling break, spidery lines crossing through the rock and he jumped, gripping Benedict around the middle and vacating the spot where a huge rock cracked down not even a second later.  
  
He looked around, saw that Dani hat gotten Cohen out and Perkins wasn’t standing in the danger zone.  
  
“Everybody okay?” Idris asked and there was a muttering of ‘yes’ all around.  
  
Benedict got up with a groan and complained bitterly about Jensen crushing his ribs, but he shot him a thankful look anyway.  
  
Just another day in the mine.  
  
After the shift, when they were letting the hot water of the shower wash all the dirt and dust away, Dani came over with her ‘I want to know what’s going on and you’re going to tell me’ face. Great.  
  
“So,” she said, leaning against the locker next to Jensen’s.  
  
Jensen continued to pack his work uniform away.  
  
“You didn’t come home last night,” Dani said.  
  
Jensen put the weapons in their brackets.  
  
“I saw you leaving with that kid — pretty one — but I didn’t expect you to spend the night.”  
  
Jensen slammed his locker door shut with a loud bang that resounded off the tiled walls. “Drop it.”  
  
“No way, man.” Dani looked actually angry. “I haven’t mentioned it, because you didn’t want to talk about it, but I know about the nightmares, okay? I’m not stupid.”  
  
“I know you’re not,” Jensen said and sighed. “And I appreciate it.”  
  
Dani inclined her head in acknowledgement. “Just three nights ago you screamed so loud, I could hear it through the wall. I’m pretty sure that’s the reason you slept alone in your own bed since we left the war zone. So, how did it go last night?”  
  
“Dani.” Jensen’s voice was hard and brokered no argument. Too bad for Jensen, Dani had never paid much attention to that.  
  
“You don’t seem to be beating yourself up worse than usual, so I’m assuming you didn’t scare the poor kid half to death during the night,” she just went on. “Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for you going out and having some fun, I’m just curious. What made you change your mind?”  
  
Jensen shrugged. “Feeling better, I guess. Not so bright out here.”  
  
The reminder of Sulaa shut Dani up, just like Jensen hoped it would. He hated to be this calculating towards her but if they’d follow this line of conversation, sooner or later it would lead to what Jensen was trying to keep from her. In silence, they pulled on their jackets and holstered their private weapons. Constant arming was strongly recommended on Wora in case of a breach.  
  
“So it had nothing to do with the kid?” Dani asked casually when they left the locker room.  
  
Jensen looked straight ahead while they walked out of the building. “Nothing at all.”  
  
It had everything to do with Jared of course. Jensen hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep since their last mission. He couldn’t even blame last night’s rest on the alcohol, because even when Jensen got piss drunk and passed out, he woke after four or five hours at the latest with a residual headache lingering. JD’s homemade stuff might have the kick to get him drunk, but he’d started sobering up after quitting the flask in the bar. It took a lot of alcohol to get him drunk in the first place and not even his healing abilities could get that out fast enough to spare him a hangover, however slight it may be.  
  
He was more than a little miffed that he couldn't remember last night after entering Jared’s apartment and lying down on his bed. He remembered Jared slowly taking his clothes off, touching him carefully, almost tenderly, then nothing. When he’d woken up, refreshed and rested like he hadn’t felt in weeks, Jared had already been gone.  
  
Jensen wasn’t sure what it had been about the companion that had made him sleep through the night. Maybe it was just being here, on Wora, an entirely different world shrouded in constant grey fog, and working in a place devoid of natural light that made Jensen sleep better. But no, the nights before, he’d been woken by his usual nightmares and in the mornings his covers and pillows had been strewed across the floor, undoubtedly getting shoved out of the bed when Jensen had been tossing and turning during the night.  
  
“You should see him again.” Dani’s words startled Jensen out of his thoughts. She cocked an eyebrow. “The kid. Good night of sleep every once in a while is gonna do wonders for your complexion.”  
  
Jensen snorted.  
  
“Never mind a little human touch,” she said. “Infinity knows you could use it.”  
  
Even though Dani might have a point, Jensen wasn’t sure if he wanted to see Jared again. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He wanted, he knew he did, but he had no idea how the night had gone and Jared had been gone the next morning. Jensen’s stomach churned in shame when he considered all the different scenarios he could've fucked up. He’d tried to make it up to Jared with leaving him a pot of coffee, but there was no way he’d seek out Jared’s company without knowing Jared had been okay with that night.  
  
  
  
  
  
A few days later, they celebrated the completion of the gate. Benedict smiled at Jensen, dirt streaking his face, and pointed a finger at him. “We are going out tonight, and you are coming with us. No excuses.”  
  
The last few days, Jensen hadn’t been in the mood to go out. The night with Jared had unsettled him and he hadn’t been feeling like drinking, never mind shooting the shit with the crew who seemed to go out every night. Tonight, he felt like celebrating though. The gate was up and functional, no one had died, and he’d gotten a feel for the people he worked with. It was a good crew and he wouldn’t mind working with them on the next few gates. Yeah, Jensen could go out and celebrate that.  
  
The crew got a table and a few pitchers of neon colored drinks, and after the first round, Benedict announced they should all be on a first name basis.  
  
“Call me Rob,” he said with a wide grin, then raised his glass. “To the best crew I ever worked with!”  
  
The rest of the crew joined in, hooting and whistling so loudly the whole bar looked at them. Jensen let himself sink deeper into the cushions, but their exuberant mood was catchy.  
  
They split a huge plate of appetizers, which ended in Alona and Dani getting into a food fight until Idris was so annoyed he pulled both of them apart by the collars of their shirts. Both women rolled their eyes at the captain when he’d turned away and, once again, Jensen had to salute Dani and her game. Alona wasn’t sold by any means, but she sat closely to Dani when Cohen and Perkins drew them into a conversation, and her laugh was genuine when Dani cracked a cheesy joke.  
  
  
He wasn’t sure what made him look up a bit later, but he caught sight of Jared entering the bar. The companion didn’t see him, his eyes focused on Rob at the other end of the table and he made a beeline straight for him. Seeing Jared made Jensen put his drink down. He was just as beautiful as Jensen remembered him, flirty smile gracing his pretty lips and his long hair shining in the bar’s dim light. His dark blue shirt was accentuating his narrow waist and broad shoulders, his pants seemed practically painted on, and there was a silvery pendant hanging in the open vee of the shirt.  
  
A short and lanky guy approached Jared, looking greedily at his body. Jensen focused his hearing to catch what they were saying.  
  
“—hoping to see you tonight, Jared,” the short guy said. “We haven’t seen each other in a while.”  
  
Jared gave the guy a smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know,” he said softly, “but I’m not surprised. You’re so smitten with Tink, that hardly leaves time for the rest of us.”  
  
The guy nodded, eyes going slightly glassy for a moment and Jared gave him an encouraging look. “I know she’s not here yet, but I’m pretty sure she’s gonna show up. Why don’t you wait for her?”  
  
Short guy nodded again. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. If she’s gonna show, I can wait for her.” He turned around and walked back to the bar without looking back at Jared.  
  
With an amused eye roll, Jared starting walking towards their table again.  
  
Jensen really wished he could remember the night so he knew what he had to apologize for. Without his memories, he’d just have to wing it. So when Jared ambled over to their table, already flirtily looking at Rob, Jensen touched his hand to get his attention.  
  
“Hi.”  
  
Jared turned to him and smiled, dimples denting his cheeks. “Hey there. Nice to see you again.” There was no resentment in his voice. He didn’t look pissed, just a bit taken off guard maybe.  
  
“The pleasure’s all mine,” Jensen said, watching Jared carefully.  
  
Jared laughed throatily. “Look, I have to go over to Rob, I haven’t seen him in such a long time, but Julie-”  
  
Disappointment started to spread through Jensen but he tried not to let it show. It was Jared’s choice how he spend his nights, and if Jensen had been too drunk to even remember… no wonder Jared tried brushing him off. Before Jared could continue to offer him someone else, Rob chimed in.  
  
“Oh, no, no! You go with Jensen. He totally deserves it.”  
  
Jared’s head snapped around. “What?”  
  
Rob nodded and raised his glass. “To Jensen. Who already saved my skinny ass more times than I can count.”  
  
“So you’re a regular hero?” Jared asked with a raised eyebrow. “The prince on the white horse?”  
  
Jensen shook his head. “Just doing my job. And Rob is exaggerating.”  
  
“And so modest.” Jared eyed him shrewdly for a moment, then he nodded. “You wanna have a drink first?”  
  
“Just one.” Jensen was surprised Jared was okay with seeing him again. Maybe Jensen hadn’t been as bad as he thought. “I think I had a few too many last time,” he said, trying to test the waters.  
  
Jared laughed and sat down next to Jensen. “Don’t worry, drunk you is adorable.” Jared’s eyes flicked down to Jensen’s mouth. “And a good kisser. Plus, the coffee more than made up for it. As for the rest, we can work on that tonight.”  
  
Even though the sleep had been the best thing about his night with Jared, Jensen could feel heat spreading through his body at Jared’s words. There was a heady promise in Jared’s invitation, and Jensen wanted to take him up on it.  
  
  
  
This time, Jensen managed to keep his alcohol intake to a minimum. Even though everyone around him was drinking with abandon, Jensen put most of the drinks offered to him aside. He still had fun, more than the last time. Everybody was relaxed and happy and the mood was contagious. Dani had gone back to work on seducing Alona and Alona was still amusedly playing with her like a cat with a mouse. Osric and Emily were engaged in a heated discussion on the latest episode of _Love Across The Universe_ , a horrible soap opera Jensen had never wanted to watch. They were so caught up in debating if Winde was brave or stupid for trying to attempt wormhole travel to bring Samwi back from the dead, even though of course Samwi wasn’t dead, just captured by bounty hunters, that they didn’t see him roll his eyes.  
  
Jared caught him listening and just grinned. “My best friend watches avidly; apparently fandom went crazy when Samwi was captured by the bounty hunters. They really liked him with Winde and didn’t want him to end up with someone else. Chad is convinced Samwin and Winde is the endgame.” Jared scrunched up his face in thought. He looked adorable. “Personally, I think Lez’Aza is going to brainwash Samwin into marrying him, to really play up the coming conflict with Winde and drive a wedge between them for a longer time period to milk their love story, but my opinion is in the minority.”  
  
“And how would you know enough to come to that conclusion?” Jensen asked amusedly.  
  
Jared actually blushed, just the faintest hue of red covering his high cheekbones. “That’s common knowledge. Everybody in the mines watches.”  
  
Jensen couldn’t help but chuckle. Wormhole time travel and brainwashing. No thanks. He had enough crazy in his daily life. Next to him, Idris and Cassidy were talking about the upgrades in the security system and the new weapons JD wanted to buy. Jensen chose to listen to this much more sensible conversation and occasionally commented while Jared was sitting on his other side, chatting with Rob and Speight. In regular intervals, Jared’s hand would casually brush against Jensen’s thigh or knee and he was hyper aware of these little moments. So maybe Dani had a point. Maybe he really needed a little more human touch in his life.  
  
Not yet though; he just wanted to sit there a little longer, listening to these people who’d become his new team, and relax. Back in the war, even when they had some down time, it had never been like this. The strain of war had tainted everything. And while they were in constant danger out here too, the mood was completely different.  
  
This was how it was supposed to be, this was what Jensen had been made for. The good, hard fight for the right cause, the camaraderie after battle without that nauseating feeling in his gut that what he was doing was horribly wrong.  
  
“Hey, you okay?” Jared asked, touching his shoulder.  
  
Jensen looked at him in surprise. “Yeah, I’m good, why?”  
  
“You just seemed light years away.”  
  
“Just thinking.”  
  
Idris leaned over from his other side. “Good thinking or bad thinking?”  
  
“Good,” Jensen replied.  
  
“Aww, are you going sappy on us, Ackles?” Cassidy called over, smirking at him.  
  
“Always,” Jensen said and made kissy lips at her.  
  
She made a show of being disgusted and everybody laughed. Across the table, Dani caught Jensen's eyes. She nodded with a smile and raised her glass at him. Jensen grinned back at her. Right now, in this moment, life was good.  
  
He waited to ask Jared if he wanted to leave until the party was dying down. Dani had fallen asleep in Rob’s lap and Alona had disappeared with a pretty dark-haired companion. Idris had abandoned them to talk shop with another team leader and the rest of the team was too drunk to focus on anything but the content of their glasses.  
  
Jared smiled and nodded. “Yeah, time to go.”  
  
The walk to Jared’s apartment was silent, but Jensen was happy Jared sought out his touch, brushing against his body and even occasionally taking his hand. They were quiet and Jensen couldn’t quite read the expression on Jared’s face, so he let the silence hang in the air between them.  
  
When they reached Jared’s building and waited for the elevator, he turned to Jensen. “So, Ackles. We didn’t really get a chance to talk much last time.”  
  
“Call me Jensen.” Ackles sounded way too formal. “And you could’ve talked to me in the bar.”  
  
Jared made a dismissive motion with his hand. “I didn't want to interrupt your conversation.”  
  
Jensen wanted to answer, when the elevator dinged and opened.  
  
“You wouldn’t have interrupted,” he said when they were standing in the elevator.  
  
Jared gave him a hesitant smile. “Yeah?”  
  
Jensen nodded. “I’d like to talk to you.”  
  
The elevator stopped and Jared led the way outside. He hadn’t answered Jensen but Jensen thought he looked pleased, if not slightly bemused.  
  
Inside the apartment, Jensen leaned in slowly, to give Jared time to back away if he wanted, but he didn’t. Their lips met, dry and warm, a simple sensation that still stoked a fire deep in Jensen he hadn’t felt in a long time.  
  
Jared seemed to be holding back, letting Jensen take the lead, so he leaned in, moving his lips against Jared’s, softly catching Jared’s lower lip between his.  
  
Jared sucked in a deep breath and his hands came to rest on Jensen’s shoulder, long fingers digging into Jensen’s muscles.  
  
“Okay?” Jensen asked against Jared’s mouth, not ready to pull back but needing to make sure this was what Jared wanted.  
  
“Yeah.” Jared’s voice was hoarse, but this time it was him who leaned in again.  
  
They kissed, long and intense. For a moment, Jensen even felt light headed, as if he was going to pass out any minute, but then the feeling passed, replaced with pure desire. Jensen wanted to take his time. Jared had a beautiful mouth and Jensen could drown in the feeling of his soft lips on his. Jared seemed hesitant when Jensen wanted to move towards the bed though.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Jensen asked.  
  
“Nothing,” Jared said quickly, too quickly.  
  
Jensen cocked his head, listening to Jared’s heart beat erratically in his chest, watching his pulse flutter in his throat and a small bead of sweat running down the side of his neck. “Why are you lying? If you don’t want me here, I understand.” Jensen swallowed, forcing out the words. “I can go.”  
  
“I just.” Jared paused, then laughed incredulously. “I haven't been kissed like that in a long time.”  
  
“It would be a crime not to kiss you,” Jensen said and he couldn’t believe no one had wanted to kiss Jared properly.  
  
“Oh no, they do. It’s just... not like that.”  
  
“Like what?” Jensen asked curiously.  
  
Jared looked down, avoiding Jensen’s eyes. “Like…” He shot Jensen a short look before looking down again. “Like I was the only one.” He let out a short laugh. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but it felt like I was the only one in the world that mattered, the only person to focus on.”  
  
“Shouldn’t it always be like that when you kiss someone?”  
  
Jared shook his head, eyes wide in astonishment. “Who _are_ you?”  
  
What a loaded question, with so many possible answers. Jensen opted for a noncommittal shrug. “I’m just a guy looking for some company.”  
  
Jared inhaled heavily, hesitated, and then he took a step towards Jensen, bringing them almost nose to nose. “You’ve got it.”  
  
They kissed again, soft at first, Jensen running his hands up Jared’s arms and shoulders, to the nape of his neck, feeling the strands of his soft hair brush his fingertips. He let his fingers follow the curve of Jared’s skull, dragged his blunt fingernails softly across the skin and Jared made a tiny, involuntary sound into his mouth, his hands clenching where they were gripping Jensen’s shirt.  
  
That was how it was supposed to be, Jensen thought wildly, and all of a sudden, it wasn’t enough. He needed more and closer, so he tore himself away from Jared’s mouth and took off his simple dark jacket and shirt.  
  
Jared gave him a slightly shaky smile and pulled his own shirt off, then the pendant. His body was beautiful, all long lines and smooth muscles under unblemished bronze skin. A few moles were littering his skin and Jensen just had to touch. He ran his hands across Jared’s chest and down his abdomen, traced the jut of his hip bone and all the while, Jared was looking at him with an unreadable expression in his multicolored eyes, his pulse still beating frantically.  
  
Jensen let his hands wander lower, down to Jared’s belt buckle, and he was glad he could see the outline of Jared’s hardening dick in his pants. Jensen had been hard from the first kiss and he wanted Jared to enjoy this too.  
  
Slowly, he opened Jared’s pants, sliding them down his slim hips. Jared was half hard, so Jensen reached out and gripped his dick, slowly stroking him. Jared drew in a surprised breath and looked at him with wide eyes.  
  
“No one ever done that either?” Jensen asked disbelievingly.  
  
Jared shook his head. “No, that’s not, I just didn’t expect—”  
  
Jensen shut him up with a kiss. He didn’t want to hear what low expectations Jared had of him or his clients in general.  
  
It didn’t take long for Jared to be fully hard in Jensen’s hand and panting into his mouth. Jensen walked them back towards the bed until Jared’s knees hit the metallic frame.  
  
“Lie down,” Jensen ordered and he was surprised by the roughness of his voice.  
  
“Don’t you want me to?” Jared asked, waving his hands into the direction of Jensen’s dick.  
  
Jensen just shook his head. He wanted to take his time with Jared, wanted to make him feel pleasure and lose himself in it.  
  
Slowly, Jared scooted up on the bed, long limbs moving gracefully. Jensen took his boots off and dropped his pants, then lowered himself on the bed and moved between Jared’s slightly spread legs. Gently, he ran one hand up Jared’s calf, felt the smoothness of the skin, the muscles tensing underneath. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the inside of Jared’s knees.  
  
Jared let out a breathless laugh, a clear and beautiful sound. “Shit, that tickles.”  
  
Jensen couldn’t resist. He pressed his mouth against the skin and lightly bit into it. Jared’s leg jerked and he hit Jensen upside the head.  
  
“Bad man,” he gasped, “no tickling.”  
  
Jensen tried to hide his laughter with one last kiss to the sensitive skin, and scooted upwards. “Okay. No more tickling.”  
  
He rested his face on Jared’s stomach, nosing along the soft trail of hairs under his belly button. In this angle, Jared’s bedside lamp shone directly into his face. For a moment, he stared right into the bright light with a brownish hue from the lamp shade. It made Jensen’s stomach roll, threatening to bring back the memories he’d usually managed to avoid, bright light in his eyes and on the ground — Jensen looked up and scowled at the lamp.  
  
“Can you turn off the light?”  
  
Jared stilled, then hesitantly reached out. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”  
  
“It’s okay. Just turn off the light, please.”  
  
Jared reached over to the bedside lamp and shut it off. Now the room was only illuminated by the soft ceiling spot lights.  
  
“Can you turn them off too?”  
  
Jared looked surprised, but nodded. “Sure.”  
  
The room went pitch black.  
  
“You know,” Jared said slowly. “Most people don’t like the dark. Especially out here.”  
  
Jensen pressed a kiss next to Jared’s belly button. Even in the complete darkness, his eyes had no trouble seeing.  
  
“Are you one of them?” he asked, ignoring Jared’s implicit question.  
  
“No, not really. Just, I can’t see a thing, so I’m not really sure how good I’ll be.”  
  
Slowly, Jensen scooted up, touching Jared enough to make sure he knew what Jensen was doing. “Use your other senses. Use your hands.”  
  
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jared’s throat, nibbled on the skin above his pulse point.  
  
Jared sucked in a breath. “How can _you_ see?”  
  
“Good vision,” Jensen stated, looking up at Jared.  
  
“Must come in handy in the mines.”  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen said and was glad Jared didn’t push. He didn’t know if the rumors about Sulaa had reached Wora or if Jared knew about JD, but Jensen didn’t want to draw too much attention, and super-human vision tended to do just that.  
  
To prevent any further discussion, he leaned up and kissed Jared. At first, Jared’s response was careful, but when Jensen reached between them and gripped Jared’s dick, Jared moaned and dug his hands into Jensen’s back. He was so beautiful like that, so responsive, head thrown back and throat bared.  
  
Jensen surged down and bit into Jared’s throat, right above his hammering pulse and Jared moaned again. Fuck, Jensen wanted to hear that sound again and again.  
  
Unable to deny his own urges anymore, he ground down his hips, rubbing his throbbing dick along Jared’s. Jared raised his hips in response and Jensen groaned.  
  
“Where?”  
  
For a moment, Jared looked confused, then he reached for the nightstand. Jensen couldn’t wait any longer, so he leaned over, ripped open the side compartment and rooted around for lube and condoms. Jensen couldn’t really get sick, but Jared didn’t know that.  
  
He took his time opening Jared up, even though Jensen’s fingers were trembling from the first moment he touched Jared. Slowly, he circled Jared’s rim, mouthing along his hip bones before licking up his dick.  
  
“Tell me what you want,” Jensen said.  
  
Jared raised his head from the bed and looked at Jensen with wide eyes. “What?”  
  
“What do you want?” Jensen repeated, pressing a kiss to the underside of Jared’s dick. “Show me what you want.”  
  
With a groan and a thump, Jared’s head fell back on the bed. “Just… keep doing what you’re doing.”  
  
“Like this?” Jensen asked and pushed two fingers into Jared’s body. Shit. He was so hot and tight, Jensen needed to get in there.  
  
Jared gasped and tensed. “Can we — can we go slow?”  
  
Jensen drew in a deep breath and rested his forehead on Jared’s hip. “You’re trying to kill me, right?”  
  
“I just want to enjoy this.” Jared’s voice was croaked and hesitant, and Jensen immediately felt like an ass.  
  
“Yeah, of course.” Jensen pressed what he hoped was a reassuring kiss to Jared’s hip and focused on giving Jared what he wanted.  
  
Slowly, he pushed his fingers in and out of Jared, tracing his rim and searching until he found the spot that made Jared arch his back and let out the most beautiful, breathless moan yet. He didn’t stop until Jared told him to, until Jared begged him in a broken voice to just fuck him already.  
  
Jensen didn’t waste any time rolling the condom on and slicking himself up, his body felt pulled tight like a bowstring, ready to snap at any moment. Jared urged him on, fingers digging into Jensen’s ass and raising his hips towards Jensen. When Jensen slid inside, he had to close his eyes. The feeling was so overwhelming, Jared was so hot and so tight around him, Jensen’s whole body tensed under the onslaught of pleasure.  
  
He feared he wouldn’t last long and an apology was already on his lips, but then Jared shifted and Jensen lost his train of thought. His hips moved out of their own volition, seeking friction and heat and Jared moaned with every thrust.  
  
One of Jared’s hands was gripping the sheet tightly and Jensen reached down to lace their fingers together.  
  
“Tell me what you like,” Jensen breathed out. “Like this?” He pushed his hips up sharply. “Like this maybe?” he asked, grinding his hips in a slower, deeper rhythm.  
  
Jared licked his lips, breathing quick and eyes wide. “That… that was good, keep going like that.”  
  
So he did. The slow rhythm was almost killing Jensen, his body begging to just fuck as hard and fast as he could, taking Jared’s body until he couldn’t get any closer. Instead, Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared’s throat.  
  
“That — good, that’s really, oh fuck, if you, just—” Jared dug his fingers into the hair at the nape of Jensen's neck and tugged him upwards. “Just,” he said urgently, “just a bit…”  
  
Jensen followed the pull of Jared's hands with his mouth, kissed his way up Jared’s neck until he reached that dip right behind Jared’s jaw, the soft space between the bones, and Jared moaned loudly.  
  
The sounds Jared was making were so sweet to Jensen’s ears, every one of them going straight to his dick. He reached down and slid a hand under Jared’s knee, pulling his leg up so he could push in even deeper into his body.  
  
Jared cried out. “Shit, there, right there!”  
  
Jensen concentrated on hitting that spot, listened as Jared urged him on, faster and harder, and finally Jensen could let himself off the leash. He fucked into Jared like his own body demanded it, burying himself deeper and deeper in Jared’s perfect body.  
  
Jensen felt his orgasm approach much too quickly, but Jared had already reached down to stroke himself, so Jensen leaned down to kiss Jared, breathe in his air, and then he came, his release shaking his entire body. He collapsed heavily on Jared, but had enough presence of mind to roll off of him and reach down to help him out, but Jared was already wet and softening.  
  
Jensen tried to get his breathing under control. “Thank you. That was—”  
  
Jared pressed a finger to his lips. “Sleep now.”  
  
There was only the soothing darkness and Jared; Jensen closed his eyes and instantly fell asleep.  
  
  


 

 

  
  
  
Jared woke with a start when something hit him in the side. He sat up, only to see Jensen tossing on the bed next to him, flailing his arms, while muttering words too garbled for Jared to hear clearly. From his scrunched up face and his balled fists, it was obvious he was in distress.  
  
“No,” Jensen shouted with a rough voice and this time, Jared managed to duck his swinging arm.  
  
Jared reached out to put a hand on Jensen’s heaving chest and pushed with his mind. Again, he didn’t get anything from Jensen, but he kept searching, stretching his own mind and finally brushed up against something too intangible for him to figure it out, but Jensen calmed down. He fell back into a heavy sleep again and whatever nightmares had plagued him, they seemed to be gone.  
  
Relieved, Jared fell back against the pillows. He looked over at Jensen’s face, his features now smooth again. He looked so handsome like this, so relaxed.  
  
_Shit_. Jared pushed his bangs out of his face and stared up at the ceiling. He was actually feeling affectionate towards Jensen. Like he was fond of him. And then last night… It had been so long since Jared had sex for real. Ever since the disaster with Sandy, he’d avoided sex. After he’d left Deloona and practiced honing his abilities with Chad, he’d hooked up with a few people on their travel, but every time he’d tried, their minds had been too present to escape. Last night, for the first time, Jared had been alone in his own head during sex. No one else’s desires were flooding his mind, no visions of things he never wanted to see had assaulted him. It had been his pleasure alone.  
  
The effect had been devastating. The physical pleasure he’d experienced hadn’t been soiled by anything else and Jared had been almost overwhelmed by the uninterrupted feeling of Jensen’s hands and mouth on his skin. He’d been so overcome with all the sensations, he’d been unable to reciprocate. Fuck. Jensen must think he was the worst companion on Wora.  
  
He’d known taking Jensen back to his place was risky, but he’d been intrigued. He’d never encountered anyone like Jensen, anyone whose desires he couldn’t read as soon as he touched their skin. So he’d been curious. More curious than was good for him.  
  
When he’d touched Jensen, he’d encountered the same blankness as the first time. And tonight, Jensen hadn’t been drunk at all. Jared might have been able to chalk it up to a weird irregularity, a brain injury or whatever, but deep down, Jared had known Jensen was different. Maybe even dangerous.  
  
When his abilities didn’t work, Jared had two choices. One, he could tell Jensen he’d changed his mind, that he was too tired, make up something to get him to leave and he knew Jensen wouldn’t have made any fuss. But instead Jared had kissed him. Had touched him. Jared had _wanted_. For the first time in a long time, sex had not been a chore playing out in the back of his mind.  
  
Jared hadn’t cared about the possible danger. Someone had been touching him, giving him pleasure for the first time in years, and it had felt good. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it, how much sex had become something distant and removed, how much he’d distanced himself.  
  
Even more overwhelming had been that his was the only pleasure, his was the only desire that mattered. Jared’s abilities had started to show when he’d hit puberty and kissed Sandy for the first time. His mind had been instantly flushed with her wishes, her desires, and that had never changed. He’d learned to control his descend into their minds, take what he needed and project what he wanted, but there was no way to completely escape another person’s thoughts. Jared’s early sexual encounters with Sandy had been characterized by him trying not to lose himself and to block her out — for his sanity and her privacy. When it hadn’t worked, she’d left him, even though in hindsight Jared knew it had been the right call. Last night, for the first time ever, his had been the only emotions and desires during sex. It had been a revelation.  
  
And Jensen had made it easy. He’d been so focused on Jared’s enjoyment, had even thrown Jared’s own words back at him, and Jared had never felt such unburdened pleasure. Still, thinking about it now, Jared knew he could be in a shit ton of trouble. Jensen was different. Too often, different was somehow connected to the Alliance, so Jared would need to be careful. Besides, if his abilities didn’t work on Jensen, he couldn’t see him again. He couldn’t be what Jensen would want him to be. There was a part of him that wanted to be reckless, wanted to see Jensen again and explore this newfound option for intimacy.  
  
The problem was, Jared had a reputation as being the most skilled companion on Wora, but he’d never actually done any of the things people sought out his company for. As soon as Jensen wanted more than just to pleasure Jared, Jared would be in a world of trouble. Never mind that Jared had no inclination of doing anything he didn’t want to do, and he knew what kinky shit his clients could get up to.  
  
No, he’d have to figure out what Jensen’s deal was and how to handle it. Jared reached for his comm and dialed Chad.  
  
“You’re lucky I decided to spend the night catching up on _Love Across The Universe_ , fucker,” Chad greeted him. “I could’ve had company.”  
  
Jared looked back through the doorway to where Jensen was still passed out on his bed. “Yeah, well, it’s important.”  
  
“I’m-bored-and-I-want-you-to-entertain-m

e important or shit-is-burning important?” Chad asked. “Because Winde, the stupid fucker, thinks Samwi married the bounty hunter Lez’aza. I mean, it’s obvious, Winde fell into bizarro verse after he traveled through a worm hole.”

In the background Jared could hear TV noises, two people screaming at each other about giving up when there was nothing to save and that “nothing mattered without him, _nothing_!”

When Jared didn’t say anything, because he refused to comment on Chad’s habit of watching the Galaxy’s most notorious daily soap about the star-crossed lovers Samwi and Winde — and yes, Jared knew all about it, Chad never shut up about and Jared had to endure snippets of the show often enough, it had nothing to do with Jared actually liking that unbelievable bullshit, seriously, the amount of times someone had died on the show and come back or all the unrealistic fights and sex scenes, really, Jared didn’t like it _at all_ — Chad coughed. “I told you, it’s very compelling. Besides, the actors are hot. Seriously, the guy playing Winde gets hotter every year.”

“Yeah, well, you’re gonna have to record it,” Jared said. “I might have a problem.”

The background noise on Chad’s end of the line stopped. “Wanna grab something to eat?”

“Yeah,” Jared said. “Let’s meet at the diner.”

After making sure that Jensen was still fast asleep, just as passed out as the first night, Jared grabbed his ID card and left his apartment.

 

 

Chad was already there when Jared arrived. His friend had a high velo glider and he drove that thing like every day was a race. When they’d traveled to Wora, they’d stopped on one of the desert planets, and Chad had matched his fugitive driver skills to Jared’s ice desert ones. More often than not, their races had ended in a tie.

Jared greeted Gen, the owner, who was standing behind the bar, deep in conversation with a guy Jared recognized as a former client. She greeted him only shortly before she went back to listening to the guy rant. Jared was glad he didn’t have to listen to that anymore, the guy, Justin, had been one of his least favorite clients.

Avoiding catching Justin’s eye, Jared slid into the booth Chad was sitting in. He’d already ordered an old fashioned bowl of ice cream with papaya sauce and one with boysenberry for Jared.

“What’s up?” Chad asked without preamble. His short blond hair was standing up spikier than usual.

“You didn’t even make yourself pretty for me?” Jared asked.

Chad snorted. “It sounded serious.”

Jared sighed. “It is. Well, might be.”

Chad raised an eyebrow. “Care to elaborate?”

Jared leaned forwards so he could lower his voice. “I had a client tonight and — it didn’t work.”

“What?” Chad’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What do you mean, it didn’t work? Did you, you know,” Chad made a flailing gesture, “have to, you know?”

For all his apparent prowess when it came to sex, Chad always got weirdly tongue tied when they talked about Jared’s actual sex life. It still made Jared laugh, despite everything.

“Yeah.”

“What?” Chad stared at him slack-jawed. “Are you okay? And why the hell did you—”

Jared held up a hand to stop Chad. “Look, it was one of the new guys that came here out of turn.”

“Oh yeah, I saw them.” Chad squinted his eyes. “Hot, redheaded chick that looked like she could kill me with her bare hands and tall, brooding and handsome.”

“That’s them,” Jared nodded. “I met Ackles, the tall and broody one, a few days ago and when I tried to, you know, he just passed out.”

Chad raised his eyebrows. “Passed out?” He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “That never happened before, right?”

Jared shook his head. “No. I thought maybe he had too much to drink, you know, or a brain trauma because I couldn’t really get in there. And when I pushed harder, he just fell asleep. Well, passed out more like it. But tonight…” Jared trailed off.

Chad leaned forward. “What happened tonight?”

“He was sober,” Jared said. “And it didn’t work. Nothing. And then, when we kissed and, you know, still nothing. The whole time, I didn’t get anything from him.”

“Well, fuck.” Chad was succinct as always.

“Yeah.”

“So, how was it?” Chad cocked his head. “The sex, I mean?”

Jared shrugged helplessly. “Pretty good. I mean, sex is supposed to be this mind blowing thing, right? It was just so overwhelming because I was alone in my head for the first time in ever, you know?”

Chad made a face. “Yeah, sex is supposed to be awesome, but in reality it often sucks. Especially when you’re hooking up with someone for the first time. So Ackles has mad skills or what?”

Jared thought about that. “I don’t know if he has mad skills. But he seemed very focused on me liking what we were doing. And he’s a great kisser, so you know…. that helped.”

“Man, that’s awesome,” Chad exclaimed, giving him a toothy smile. “You can finally really get laid without all that mind shit.”

“Dude, no!” Jared shook his head in small, sharp movements. “It’s way too dangerous! Ackles could want infinity knows what form me and he’d expect me to do it. Besides, did you miss the part where _he’s immune to my powers_?”

Chad opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Good point. That’s iffy. Want me to check him out?” he asked, already pulling out his intel pad.

“Yeah, that’d be good.”

“No problem.” Chad was already typing away on the pad, probably pulling up the database. “What’s his full name?”

“Jensen Ackles.”

Jared slurped his ice cream while Chad did his research. Jared had never seen Chad fail at anything he ever tried, he’d have no problem getting into the mines secure files. He’d just have to stay under the radar, otherwise the Colonel would fire him — or worse.

“So your boy here,” Chad said slowly, “doesn’t have anything in his file besides his name and the date of his arrival. Which is weird. They check up on everybody who comes here carefully.” Chad looked up. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have needed to come up with those awesome cover IDs of ours.”

Jared thought back to Ackles’ interactions at the bar. “The Colonel knew him. Personally, I think. They were familiar with each other, like they had a history.”

“Well, the Colonel served in Forces. Probably met your boy there. Most of the security guys have a military background.” Chad pulled on his jacket. “Alright, I’ll check it out tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Jared asked in protest.

Chad threw up his hands dramatically. “Dude, I can’t hack the Alliance Forces database from here. I’m gonna need to call somebody up who owes me a favor. What, you think he’s gonna do something? I mean, maybe he didn’t even notice.”

“No idea,” Jared shrugged. “I mean, he was nice, actually. You know?”

“Nice?” Chad asked dryly. “I thought all your clients are ‘nice’.”

“Not like that.” Jared remembered the hesitant look in Jensen’s eyes, his question if Jared even wanted him. “He wouldn’t have come with me if I hadn’t wanted to,” Jared told Chad. “And then when we were at my place and I asked him what he wanted, he said whatever I want. And it wasn’t the ‘I want you to control me’ way. He genuinely just wanted me to have fun, I think. Like he was grateful to be there with me anyway.”

“Is he disfigured somehow? Missing a testicle or two?”

“No, not at all. He’s good looking all over,” Jared admitted.

“Oh really? You have the hots for a client?” Chad leered. “Well, then maybe that threw off your mojo? That you really liked him?”

Jared shook his head. “No. No, I don’t think so. His mind was just… different. I just couldn’t grasp it, you know? Like trying to grip smoke.”

“Well, lemme call up a few friends,” Chad said and stood up. “We’ll figure out who he is. Until then, I have to see what Winde gets up to and what the fucking bounty hunters want with Samwi.”

Jared rolled his eyes, and finished his bowl. He needed to go back to his apartment, but he really wasn’t keen on talking to Jensen. If he asked for another meeting, he’d have to decline. It was too bad really, Jensen had seemed like he’d make a good client. Polite, nice, and attractive with a penchant for Old Earth stories. If it weren’t for the chip he was carrying on the shoulder, Jared might even find him interesting beyond a professional level. There was of course, the pretty awesome sex, but Jared tried not to think about that.

In the end, he was too tired to stay out any longer. Jensen was still asleep when Jared got back, so Jared pulled out his couch and slept there. When he woke up the next morning with a kink in his neck, there was a pot of coffee on the warming plate and a note next to it.

 _Sorry for crashing_ , it read. _Didn’t want to wake you, but I had a really good night. If you want, this is my number._

There was a comm number scribbled underneath. Jared took a deep breath. So apparently Jensen had enjoyed last night. Well, at least Jared hadn’t embarrassed himself and had hopefully lived up to his reputation. Unfortunately, he’d have to ignore Jensen’s number.

The offer seemed typical for Jensen though. Indicating he’d like to see Jared, but not wording it like a request. _If you want_ , it said. For a moment, Jared thought about it. Stupid, he told himself. Last night might have been the first time he’d had sex he really enjoyed, but it would be way too dangerous to see Jensen again, no matter how good looking and how nice he’d been.

But the piece of paper was mocking him while it was sitting on Jared’s counter, beckoning him to call Jensen, to be able to feel again like he had last night, so he ended up throwing it away.

To distract himself, Jared poured himself a cup of coffee — which tasted just as good as he remembered, and he still had no idea how Jensen had done that — and went about his daily business. No more thinking about Jensen until Chad had figured out who he was and if he could be a threat. Jared hadn’t traveled to the end of the Galaxy just to be found out by a guy with a pretty face. It wasn’t easy to relax though and eventually Jared found himself flipping through the TV channels. The First Network was showing an LATU marathon in preparation for the pending hiatus. Jared tuned in when two guys, apparently Samwi and Winde, were escaping a desert planet in the most unrealistic shoot out he’d ever seen. Every one of their shots hit a target while the bad guys of course missed every time. Chad was right though. The actors were good-looking and it was strangely compelling.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jared registered how bothered he must be by the whole Jensen thing to finally succumb to the space opera, but he didn’t care. While he watched Winde navigating his ancient heap-of-shit space cruiser through an asteroid belt and Samwi shooting up their pursuers with a long range laser, he didn’t have to think about Jensen at all.

 


	5. Part Four

  


 

 

  
  
  
Jensen’s life settled into a routine. Trying to get as much sleep as he could despite the nightmares waking him up in the middle of the night and preventing his sleep from being restful. Getting up with heavy limbs, having breakfast; sometimes Sam and Aldis were there, sometimes he was alone with Dani. Taking the shuttle to work. JD had them seal off the rest of the quadrant with gates, so every shift start, they converged at Gate 2.  
  
In the darkness of the mine, Jensen was comfortable. The threat of the cerberi always hung over their heads, but they were indeed lucky. There were a few attacks, but whether Cassidy warned them early enough or Dani’s and Jensen’s senses picked something up, they always managed to fight the creature, keeping it off until the others had disappeared on a glider. Sometimes they chased them off, sometimes they hid out in tight niches where even the creatures’ shapeable limbs couldn’t reach.  
  
Dani proposed meeting up with the gun designers and Jensen agreed. There had to be a better way to take the fuckers out. Jensen’s and Dani’s fighting techniques — the others called it reckless, they called it innovative — had allowed them a much closer look at the creatures.  
  
The only downside was that he didn’t see Jared. Whenever he went out, the companion wasn’t there. Jensen didn’t like it; he missed the nights with Jared. They had been the only two nights since Sulaa he’d slept through the night and woke up not feeling like shit the next morning.  
  
Jensen caught Jared only once down at the grocery store, but Jared just waved and disappeared. Jensen wasn’t going to push it. Even though the second night had gone better — he’d thought so, at least — he wouldn’t seek Jared out if he didn’t want Jensen. The thought wasn’t very appealing, but maybe he should consider trying to find another companion to spend the night with, see if he could find someone else to keep the nightmares at bay. He couldn’t be sure, but he had the nagging suspicion that Jared was special that way. There was just something about him that made Jensen’s mind prickle but every time he tried to hone in on what it was about Jared, the feeling evaporated. It was driving Jensen crazy.  
  
  
  
JD took them out again when they had completed their fourth gate a few weeks later. Apparently they had broken some kind of record. Dani let herself be celebrated, Jensen just drank his beer. And if he was drinking more than usual, well, they had occasion to celebrate.  
  
Halfway into the night, he discovered Jared at the other end of the bar. A guy Jensen had seen around their compound was holding Jared’s hand and the two of them seemed to be deep in conversation. Abruptly, the other guy stood up, and Jared was alone at the bar.  
  
It was a tempting sight, his long legs wrapped around the high barstool, the black pants a stark contrast to the white furniture. Today, Jared also wore a black shirt, short-sleeved and tight, and his long fingers were playing with his drink. His hair was softly falling into his face and Jensen _wanted_. Hadn’t wanted like this in a long time. And Jared could say no.  
  
Jensen excused himself from the table without checking to see if anybody heard. He walked over to the bar and took the stool next to Jared’s.  
  
Jared turned to him, did a double take, but then his face smoothed out again. “Jensen, hi.”  
  
Something was off. Well, maybe there had been a reason Jared hadn’t called. So Jensen ordered a beer and said, “Hi.”  
  
“Beer?” Jared blurted out, and it seemed like he regretted talking, but then he went on. “Not a lot of people drink beer.”  
  
Jensen shrugged. “I’ve always liked it. I spent a few weeks on Dansk, and you can’t really avoid drinking beer there.”  
  
When Jensen mentioned Dansk, Jared’s eyes lit up, “You’ve been to Dansk? That’s so cool. I always wanted to go. Did you get a chance to see the old breweries?”  
  
Jensen nodded. It had been one of their security detail gigs and they’d been assigned to one of the wealthiest women on Dansk, whose family had owned several breweries.  
  
“Yeah. It was pretty cool to see how it works.”  
  
When the interest on Jared’s face didn’t dim, Jensen proceeded to tell him every little detail he remembered and Jared soaked it all up.  
  
Somehow the topic of beer led to the weird animal depicted on Jensen’s beer bottle which brought them back to fairy tales and they somehow got caught up in a heated discussion about which was the best. Jensen had always thought Hansel and Gretel was clearly the greatest fairytale, but Jared much preferred the Beauty and the Beast.  
  
“Disney fairytales are just so much better,” he said with a teasing grin and Jensen could just shake his head.  
  
“Unbelievable. Disney stuff is the worst. Only the original are awesome.”  
  
“Snob,” Jared accused him but his grin widened and Jensen couldn’t help but stare at his mouth. Jared noticed and licked his lips. Jensen’s pulse spread up and the desire he’d been fighting ever since he saw Jared became harder to control.  
  
He leaned in and a thrill shot through him when Jared moved towards him, eyes flickering between Jensen’s mouth and eyes. Right before they kissed, Jared hesitated.  
  
Jensen froze, having no idea what was wrong. Jared’s eyes darted past Jensen and when Jensen looked over his shoulder, he saw a blond guy sitting at a table with Aldis and a few other people.  
  
“You have another date?” Jensen asked, and his voice sounded raspy in his ears.  
  
“What?” Jared looked startled. “Well, no, I mean, kind of. It’s erm—”  
  
But Jared never got to tell him what it was, because at that moment JD appeared and threw one arm around Jared and one around Jensen.  
  
“Boys,” he drawled, and oh yeah, JD was drunk. “My favorite new security guard—”  
  
“Hey!” Dani shouted somewhere from the back and JD waved her off.  
  
“—and my favorite companion,” he continued.  
  
Jensen swallowed. “Do you want…” he couldn’t finish the sentence. The thought of JD going home with Jared, it did something to him, made a sharp and unpleasant feeling rise in him.  
  
“Me?” JD asked. “Oh no, boy. You. You two!”  
  
Jensen looked at Jared who had just reacted so strangely, but now he was smiling at JD as if nothing had happened. Maybe there was something with someone from the other table but now JD was ruling in Jensen favor and Jared didn’t seem to object.  
  
“At least one of us shouldn’t be alone tonight,” JD continued with a slightly wistful look.  
  
“So who’s your mystery lover?” Jensen asked curiously. In all the time he’d known him, he’d never seen JD interested in someone deeper than purely sexual desire.  
  
“She’s a rare specimen,” JD just said, “just as stubborn as the fuckers she spends her time with.”  
  
Jensen had no idea what that meant, but Jared was still sitting there, smiling prettily, and Jensen had a hard time looking away.  
  
“Jared,” JD said, voice already a little slurry. “I hear you and Jensen got along great.”  
  
Over his shoulder, Jensen shot Dani a quick, angry look, but she just raised one eyebrow unrepentantly.  
  
Jared smiled, showing his dimples. “We did. But tonight I—”  
  
“No buts! Jensen deserves some quality time with you.” JD waggled his eyebrows. “You’re very special, boy, and Jensen here is gonna help me make a ton of money, so he deserves something special.”  
  
Jared nodded after an infinitesimal pause. Jensen wasn’t sure what to think of that, but when Jared stood and offered him his hand, Jensen took it and followed him out into the night.  
  
“I’m going to take a wild guess here,” Jared said, watching Jensen out of the corner of his eyes, “and say you know the Colonel because you served with him.”  
  
Jensen wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but he answered anyway. “Yeah.”  
  
“Why go from one war zone to another?” Jared asked, voice quiet.  
  
It was a good question. Jensen hesitated, then decide to be a truthful as he could. “We didn’t have a lot of choices. Needed to make some money.” Jensen paused. “But it was good we came here.”  
  
Jared cocked an eyebrow. “Really? No one has ever said that.”  
  
Jensen smiled ruefully. “Yeah. It’s just, there’s something cathartic about the darkness and the fighting of animal life forms. It’s black and white here, you see. We fight the monsters and protect the people. It’s good work. Honest.”  
  
“And serving in the Forces wasn’t?”  
  
Jensen closed his eyes briefly. He really didn’t want to talk about that. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”  
  
“But why go in the first place?” Jared asked, frustration in his voice. Jensen was surprised by the vehemence of it. It was almost like this was personal for Jared.  
  
“I didn’t have a lot of choices,” Jensen answered slowly. “And it seemed a good idea at the time.”  
  
“Not a lot of choices,” Jared grumbled under his breath, too quiet for human ears to hear. He kicked a pebble on the street. “Good idea at the time to join the fucking Forces.” He hit another pebble that went sideways and hit Jensen in the shin.  
  
“Sorry,” Jared muttered, completely unrepentant.  
  
“Dani and I grew up on Ferasion.” Jensen didn’t know why he was explaining himself, why it bothered him so much what Jared thought about him. He still continued to talk. “Ever been in that corner of the Galaxy?”  
  
“No,” Jared said flatly. “I don’t even know where that is.”  
  
“It’s a small planet in the Saronian system.”  
  
Jared stopped. The Saronian Wars were well known. The system had been peaceful for a few decades now, but the planet had been devastated, poverty and disease befallen the population.  
  
Jensen closed his eyes. “We were a few of the lucky ones,” he said. “Smart and fast enough to escape the authorities and steal what we needed.”  
  
Next to him, Jared sucked in a deep breath. A hand came to rest on Jensen’s shoulder.  
  
“It wasn’t too bad.” Jensen didn’t want Jared’s sympathy. He just didn’t want Jared to get the wrong idea about him. “Life on the streets was tough, but we had a good group of friends. We looked out for each other, and we managed. But when they started rebuilding the cities, they cracked down hard on violence. So it was either go to jail or join the Forces.”  
  
Jared cleared his throat. “How about a normal job?”  
  
Jensen snorted. “There were no ‘normal’ jobs. Sure, we could’ve worked fifteen hours of a twenty hour day for a wage that would just keep us above starving, but we weren’t really keen on slaving away in misery for the rests of our lives. So when they offered us a way out, we took it.”  
  
Gently, Jared withdrew his hand. “So you’re here for the money?”  
  
No, he wasn’t. Jensen hadn’t really made any plans, didn’t have any specific goals, just knew he’d go wherever Dani wanted and continue to watch her back, but that was something he really didn't want to talk about.  
  
“You know, we’ve been standing in front of your apartment for a while now.” Jensen leaned forward to press a kiss on Jared’s check, then his jaw and neck. “We can keep standing here and talk about things that aren’t any fun…” he trailed off and pressed more kisses to Jared’s throat.  
  
“Hmm, you’re right,” Jared murmured and turned his face, pressing a soft kiss to Jensen’s neck. “Let’s go inside.”  
  
  
  
At the door to Jared’s apartment, Jensen stopped. “I hope you’re not in trouble with anyone because of tonight—”  
  
Pressing a finger against Jensen’s mouth, Jared effectively shut him up. “Don’t worry about it.”  
  
Jensen kissed that finger, just because he could. Then, because Jared looked so adorably surprised, he kissed Jared.  
  
It was different than last time. After freezing for about a second that Jensen wasn’t sure what to make of, Jared kissed him back fervently. His hands were all over Jensen’s back and neck, touching him where he could reach and Jared’s lips moving hot and hungry against Jensen.  
  
He couldn't hold back a groan when Jared pressed the entire length of his body against Jensen.  
  
“Clothes off,” Jensen ordered, pulling back slightly.  
  
He pulled off his own shirt and caught Jared staring before he started working on his own clothes with a blush. Jensen helped, was too impatient not too, and then they tumbled down on Jared’s bed.  
  
Jared kept kissing Jensen then worked his way down Jensen’s neck and Jensen was going out of his mind, especially when Jared hit just the right spot.  
  
He moaned and was rewarded with a light bite that went straight to his dick. He gripped Jared’s pert ass tight and pulled him over his body. Their knees bumped together and for a moment, Jared seemed to be off balance, but then their dicks rubbed together with sweat slick friction and Jensen buried his hands in Jared’s hair. It was fucking perfect.  
  
They continued to kiss, sometimes hungry and fast, then they slowed down, taking their time just tangling their tongues and sliding their lips against each other. When Jensen couldn't take it anymore, he reached for Jared’s bedside drawer and got out the lube and the condoms.  
  
There was some shuffling when they found a good position, but then Jensen flipped Jared around and opened him up, watched how his mouth fell open to a pretty “o” and his hair fell into his face. Quickly, Jensen rolled on the condom and sank into Jared. The feeling was just as exquisite as last time, impossibly tight and hot and Jared’s head fell back, putting his beautiful long neck on display.  
  
Jensen surge down to kiss and bite and then they started to move. Slow at first, then Jensen sped up. When Jared leaned up to kiss him, their noses bumped. Jared looked horrified, but Jensen just laughed. Leaning in, Jared kissed the laughter right off his lips. His movements turned frantic and greedy, hips pushing up insistently, and he pulled Jensen along with him. It didn't take long before he was sweating and trying to hold back his orgasm, stroking Jared’s dick, so he’d come first.  
  
“C’mon Jared,” he murmured against the hot skin of his throat, before lightly biting down.  
  
Jared moaned and stilled around him, his whole body tensing up. That was all it took for Jensen, and he could finally push deep into Jared, hard and fast, until he was buried in him all the way and his orgasm racked his body.  
  
Together, they fell back onto the bed.  
  
  
  
Jensen felt lazy and content, thoroughly relaxed. He closed his eyes and hummed. Jared’s hand carded through his hair, and it felt heavenly.  
  
“You good?” Jared asked and there was a smile in his voice.  
  
Jensen grinned without opening his eyes. “Yeah. We should do that again sometime.”  
  
Jared laughed, “Sure. How about right now?”  
  
Jensen groaned. “Give me five minutes here. Maybe ten. Then we can see what else we can do.”  
  
“What else?” Jared asked and his voice sounded slightly weird.  
  
Jensen opened his eyes slowly and looked up at Jared. “Sure. Though I’m feeling kind of lazy, so you might have to do all the work.”  
  
The thought of Jared putting his mouth everywhere on Jensen body, riding him and touching him, it made arousal pool low in Jensen’s belly again.  
  
Jared reached out hesitantly, touched Jensen’s chest.  
  
“Aren’t you too tired?” he asked carefully.  
  
“Naw,” Jensen drawled out even though his body started feeling heavy. “Just gimme a few more minutes…”  
  
“You’re so tired, Jensen,” Jared’s voice whispered into his ear. “You just need to sleep a bit.”  
  
Jensen wanted to raise his hands, show Jared that he wasn’t tired, not tired at all, but darkness was surrounding him, pulling him under its comforting blanket, and he let it happen.  
  
  
  


 

 

  
  
  
  
Shit, shit, _shit_. Jensen was in Jared’s bed. Asleep. Because Jared had put him under in lieu of other options.  
  
Silently, he cursed the Colonel, cursed his own reputation, cursed Jensen, and Chad’s idea to become a companion in the first place. He’d known it would blow up sometime, but the last few years had lulled him into a false security. Now, he had a sleeping guy in his bed, whose mind he couldn’t control, and there was no booze in the game to explain why Jensen had passed out.  
  
He’d panicked, plain and simple. He’d been so good about avoiding Jensen and his potentially dangerous uninfluenced mind, but last night, he’d shown up at the bar, looking all handsome in his simple dark clothes and had looked at Jared so earnestly with his big green eyes. Jared groaned. Those eyes would be his ruin.  
  
He’d wanted to be distant, but then Jensen had ordered beer and they’d started talking Old Earth stuff, which Jared loved but had no one to talk to about.  
  
He’d gotten so caught up in it, he’d almost kissed Jensen. But then he’d seen Chad and remembered that hooking up with Jensen would be dangerous. Unfortunately, that was when the Colonel had shown up and it would’ve looked way too suspicious if Jared had turned Jensen away.  
  
On the way home, he’d tried to get some information out of Jensen, but had got nothing more than the feeling that Jensen was a good guy who’d had a hard life.  
  
When Jensen had kissed him, Jared had been just as lost as the first time. It wasn’t all smooth, there were some bumps, but it was still so overwhelming to able to focus on his pleasure alone. Jared hadn’t been smooth, but Jensen hadn’t noticed or bothered. And then he’d wanted Jared to take the lead. Pull out his skills. And, well, Jared had panicked. He just hoped that Jensen was so tired after the sex, he’d think he’d just fallen asleep. Otherwise, Jared was screwed.  
  
Fuck. He really needed to talk to Chad. He needed to know what he was dealing with here. Jared sighed and got up. If Jensen suspected something and confronted him, Jared wanted to know what he was facing. And who knew, with Jensen’s file suspiciously blank, maybe there was something the other man was hiding as well.  
  
  
He met up with Chad in his apartment this time.  
  
“Ah, good timing, Jay.” Chad yelled his greeting from somewhere behind his giant screen station.  
  
Jared slowly navigated the heaps of crumpled wrappers and empty bottles on the floor, careful not to trip over any of the cables or get tangled in a laundry heap.  
  
“You’re disgusting.”  
  
Chad poked his head out behind his screens with a grin. “You love me anyways. No get over here, I just got Alexis on comm.”  
  
Alexis’ face looked at them from the main screen, her big blue doe eyes scrunched up in anger. “What did you fuckers get me mixed up in now, huh?”  
  
Chad and Jared looked at each other in alarm. Alexis was one of the nicest, most helpful people they knew, always smiling and happy. Now, she was glaring at them.  
  
“Erm, well,” Chad said, “as I explained, Jared here—”  
  
“Oh, shut it, Murray!” She cut him off, looking back over her shoulder before turning back to her screen. “I don’t have a lot of time, the Forces tracked me and I think they’re pissed.”  
  
“Shit, Alexis, I’m so sorry,” Jared said. “I never thought you’d—”  
  
She waved him off. “Not your fault, you couldn’t know they’d go after me with everything they got. And you don’t have to feel bad, Milo has been nagging me for ages to follow him, so you know, now might be a good time.” She gave him a crooked smile. “Who knows, you might even save my relationship.”  
  
Jared shook his head worriedly. “Still. If you’re in any danger…”  
  
Alexis shook her head. “I’ll be fine. And I’m sorry, because I couldn’t really find anything. I mean, your Jensen Ackles, he’s in the system. Born on Ferasion, parents died when he was little. Joined the Forces seven years ago and was shipped out to Tark, one of their older training planets that was abandoned a few years ago. Thing is, then his file doesn't say anything else; nothing about grades, specialization or graduation. Not even a mention that he finished the training or what he trained in. He pops up on a few peacekeeping missions under a Captain Morgan, you know, stuff the Alliance likes to publicize for image, and then nothing. He just disappears. No missions, no stations, nothing. The next entry is his discharge about four months ago.”  
  
“So what does that mean?” Jared asked, confused.  
  
Alexis grimaced. “Look, I gotta jet, really. Just let Chad tell you about the Warrior Protocols.”  
  
Chad’s mouth fell open. “Are you fucking kidding me? You were the one who told me that was just a crazy conspiracy theory!”  
  
“Yeah, well,” Alexis said, already standing up. “It’s not. I asked around and it’s the only explanation why they had such a good trapdoor on Ackles’ file. It all fits with the timeline and Tark was the number one suspected location for the Warrior Protocols because it’s so remote and there’s a giant medical facility where they used to train operation medics. You take care now, boys.”  
  
And with that her screen went black.  
  
Chad leaned back in his chair. “Well shit.”  
  
Jared turned to him, dread spreading through him. He’d never seen Chad like that. “You’re freaking me out right now, you know that.”  
  
Chad nodded, staring blankly ahead. “That’s because I _am_ freaking out.” He shook his head quickly. “The Warrior Protocols. Fuck.” He let out a short laugh. “If this ever gets out, a lot of people will have a lot of explaining to do.”  
  
“You mind telling me what’s going on?” Jared asked, torn between worry and impatience.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, just—” Chad got up and started agitatedly pacing his apartment, kicking trash out of the way and making himself an aisle through the mess.  
  
“You see, a couple of years ago, well decades more like it, after the last military clash with the Hlloum Galaxy, the Board of Military Oversight proposed the Warrior Protocol to the Security Council. The Council nodded off on it and the Forces started genetically manipulating soldiers. They used modified animal DNA for speed and strength and such.” Chad got himself a bottle of schnapps out of the fridge. “Problem was, the soldiers went completely off the rails. Anger surges, uber aggressive behavior and all that shit, so the Representative Assembly took an emergency vote and had the Council shut it down.”  
  
Jared sat down. This story sounded all too familiar. “So I guess they didn’t shut it down, did they?”  
  
Chad shook his head. “Well, up until now I just thought it was a hacker conspiracy myth. I thought the experiments they did on your parents came from that idea, you know, and that was it.”  
  
“But they used hallucinogenic agents to mess with my parents’ minds,” Jared argued. “It had nothing to do with DNA stuff.”  
  
“I know.” Chad paused. “I always just assumed they stopped messing with DNA and switched to the brain stuff instead, but apparently they just branched out. Now wonder they want to keep this under wraps. If this gets out, the Alliance will have an open revolt on their hands. The ARA could never let that slide.”  
  
For a moment, they sat in silence. Power hungry politicians had killed Jared’s parents and now it seemed he’d have to deal with their mess once again.  
  
“I’m never going to be safe as long as I’m stuck in this fucking galaxy,” Jared burst out. “Just when I thought, hey, go hide out in the corner of the most remote system, a fucking Alliance experiment shows up here.”  
  
“Yeah, but—” Chad started, then broke off. “No, never mind, that’s stupid. Ackles wouldn’t be on the run. At least if he would, he wouldn’t go to a former military associate, that’s just stupid.”  
  
Jared’s head shot up. “Associate?”  
  
“Yeah, the Colonel’s name is Morgan. Didn’t you know?”  
  
Jared shook his head. “You think he’s part of the Warrior Program too, then?”  
  
“Hmm.” Chad pursed his lips. “Would explain why he survived so long down here and how he was able to establish the mine in the first place. There are a few soldiers here, who knows how many are from the program.”  
  
“So what do I do?” Jared asked desperately. “If they find out about me — wait.” Jared felt like he’d been just doused with ice cold water.  
  
The Colonel had served in the war, but he never talked about it. It was well known never to ask the Colonel for war stories. Jensen had served with him. And Jensen was immune to Jared’s powers. With dread sinking into his stomach, Jared thought about when he and Chad had talked about the war and the rebels.  
  
After initially dismissing the rebels, Chad had kept close tabs on them when they started winning fights. A few of his hacker friends were involved, and while Chad principally supported getting rid of the corrupt Security Council, he knew the rebels were not the answer. Their leaders were too blinded by their cause to stick to any morale when fighting.  
  
When Chad figured out that the rebels used people like Jared, successful Alliance experiments, in a fight, it had been the last straw. They had been younger than Jared, products of later, more successful experiments than what Jared’s parents had gone through. The thought of making children fight had repulsed both of them. Then they’d heard that the Alliance had sent soldiers, special ops teams that had broken the resistance and had wiped out the rebel’s stronghold on Sulaa. Jared had always wondered how the rebels could be defeated when people with abilities even stronger than Jared’s were with them.  
  
If those soldiers had been immune, that explained a lot. And if Jensen had been one of them…  
  
Jared swallowed. “Do you think the soldiers who took out the rebels on Sulaa were part of that program? I mean, it would make sense, right?”  
  
“Totally,” Chad nodded frantically, pacing again. “I mean, who else do you send successfully into battle against people with mind controlling abilities? You said it yourself, you can’t get into Ackles’ mind. What if they manipulated them in a way that would make their brains immune? You know, I always wondered, and this is the only way that makes sense, how the Alliance could’ve beaten the rebels.”  
  
“If he finds out what I am,” Jared said haltingly, unable to finish the thought. Blood was rushing loudly in his ears and his hands were shaking.  
  
Chad was there, suddenly, kneeling right in front of him and taking his hand. “Hey, no. No way, Jay. The aliases I created are foolproof, okay. Even if he suspects something, they could never prove it.”  
  
Jared looked up into Chad’s worried eyes. “What if he doesn’t wait for proof?”  
  
Chad’s face moved into a determined expression. “Then we have to get you off-planet.”  
  
“The next shuttle doesn’t leave for another twenty days, Chad!” Jared protested.  
  
Going off-planet now? Sure, Jared had some money from his cash paying clients, but it wasn’t even close to getting him out of the Old Galaxy. He’d have to work somewhere else. There was no other way. Jared couldn’t stay on Wora and wait for Jensen to figure out who he was. The bounty on Jared’s head might not be as much as a contract on Wora, but it came close.  
  
Chad starting chewing on his tongue, something he always did he was deep in thought. “Okay, then you just have to avoid him, and then get off planet. We’ll find another place where you can work, maybe we can sign on with a trade ship and you can work from there. I mean, yeah, this is the quickest place to make good money, but maybe you can find some ultra-rich person and become their personal companion?”  
  
“Being a personal companion would take way too much manipulation,” Jared said. “I don’t think I could pull that off. Besides, I don’t want to. Finding a trade ship might be good. But you don’t have to come with me, you know.”  
  
He’d miss Chad fiercely, but his friend shouldn’t have to miss out of a payday because of him. Jared clenched his fists. He’d have to leave everything he knew again.  
  
Chad just snorted. “Don’t be stupid. I can make money anywhere but you clearly can’t take care of yourself, and after all the trouble I went through saving your ass, I’m not gonna leave you alone.”  
  
Jared got up and threw his arms around Chad in a hug. Chad huffed, but clapped him on the back and then let his hand rest there. Jared was flooded with Chad’s desires, but they had become so familiar to Jared over time they didn’t really bother him anymore. Matter of fact, it was reassuring to see how many dreams Chad had that included Jared.  
  
“We’ll figure this out, don’t worry,” Chad said calmly. “Just, avoid Ackles for the next few weeks.”  
  
“Yeah, I don’t know how easy that’s gonna be,” Jared said doubtfully. “I think he likes me.”  
  
Chad shrugged dismissively. “You can still cut him off. I mean — wait, what’s that face you’re making?” Leaning forward, Chad peered into Jared’s eyes, like he was the mind reader all of a sudden. “Why are you scrunching your face up like that?”  
  
“I’m not—” Jared protested, but he was already too late. No one knew him as well as Chad did.  
  
“Oh my infinity. You like him!”  
  
Jared tried to shake his head, but Chad was nodding frantically. “Yes, you do, you actually have a real life, our-bodies-were-touching-and-we-exchange

d-bodily-fluids-so-now-I-can’t-stop-thinking-about-your-pretty-face crush on Ackles!”

“I don’t!” Jared took a deep breath. “Look, I don’t dislike him. He was nice, considerate. The sex was great. And yes, he’s really, really hot. Like, insanely beautiful. But, as it turns out, he’s also a monster who slaughtered thousands of people during the war. Children, Chad!”

“You don’t know that.”

It didn’t make a difference. Just because Jared couldn’t see Jensen raising his weapon against someone innocent, he’d come to one of the most dangerous planets to fight lethal animals. What would make a person want to do that, if it wasn’t greed for money or complete callousness?

“It doesn’t matter,” Jared said morosely. “It’s too dangerous around him. He’ll probably know about the reward for someone like me, and that’s enough money to skip out on the Wora contract.”

“So you gotta avoid him,” Chad stated.

Jared nodded. “Like a Mellokin space fly.”

“We’ll figure something out,” Chad said, “and then—”

They were abruptly cut off by the ear-splitting sound of the city’s alarm. They were under attack.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The deafening blaring of the city’s alarm pulled Jensen out of his sleep. He was instantly awake, jumping up and crouching on the bed before he’d registered he was still in Jared’s apartment.

“Jared!” he shouted, already getting out of bed and throwing on his clothes.

Charging out of the bedroom he couldn’t find Jared anywhere. Just like last time, Jensen had woken up alone. He cursed and ran out of the apartment. He just hoped Jared was safe.

The city’s speakers were blaring their announcements over and over again, booming in Jensen’s ears.

“This is a code orange, repeat a code orange. Danger of breach in the third sector. All security personnel immediately report to tower four. Repeat, all security personnel immediately report to tower four. This is a code orange, repeat…”

Jared’s apartment wasn’t far from tower four and Jensen sprinted through the streets, avoiding the people still outside who were frantically making their way into the buildings and the underground shelters in every basement.

Over the noise of the people and the speakers, he could hear guns going off and explosions, interrupted by the loud splintering of foliage and then the first vibration shook the ground. Again and again, the ground shook and Jensen ran faster.

His lungs burned by the time he reached the tower and together with two other people who just arrived, he gripped onto the whirring emergency rope that pulled them up the wall at a breakneck pace.

Up on the wall, Jensen did a quick survey. In the jungle on the other side of the clearing in front of the city’s walls, two giant manticores were fighting each other, grey bodies coated in their rust colored blood while their teeth and claws slashed at their thick hides. They had left a path of destruction through the forest until they’d reached the clear space in front of the city. They were getting dangerously close to the wall and the guards were firing every weapon at them, but the two creatures were too lost in their own battle to pay the humans on the walls much attention.

The earth behind them was scorched with explosive, but this close, the soldiers would damage the wall forcing them to resort to heavy artillery.

“Ackles,” someone called out to him, and Jensen recognized Miner, a dark haired guard who lived in the building next to him. “Gimme a hand with the shells.”

Jensen hurried over and together they loaded the heavy arm-sized shells into the gun.

“That’s gonna work, right?” Jensen called out over the noise.

“No idea,” Miner shouted back. “Never seen two who were that big.”

Jensen looked down over the railing to the fighting manticores, each one easily as big as a small house.

One of the manticores suddenly reared up on its hind legs before landing heavily on the ground and twisting its whole body, smashing its opponent into the wall.

The concrete under Jensen’s feet shook and he could hear cracks fissioning through the wall’s material. He didn’t know how many more hits the wall would survive.

“Shoot them!” Jensen yelled.

The other guns were barely making an impact on the two beasts caught up in their own battle. They were locked together now, like two boxers embracing each other, gnawing at each other’s faces in a bloody parody of a kiss.

Miner shot the gun and hit the bigger one in the head. The explosion shook the air but when the smoke cleared, the manticores were still battling each other. There seemed to be more blood but they were not slowing down. Their current trajectory led them away from the wall in a half circle but if they’d continued like that, it wouldn’t take long for them to crash into the wall again.

They needed to be stopped, now. Too many lives were at stake. Jared was somewhere out there in the city.

The captain of the wall came over to them, face red and angry. “Miner, what are you waiting for? Shoot the fucker!”

Jensen recognized her, it was Huffman, the woman he’d seen Jared with on the first night he’d gone out.

“The shells don’t have enough impact,” Miner said desperately. “We need to hit them with nitro fire.”

Again, the earth shook when one manticore forced the other one to the ground. For a moment it seemed like the fight would be over, but then the manticore on the ground snapped its head around, almost taking the other one's foot off, and the fight went on.

“We don’t have any nitro fire left,” Huffman said grimly, watching the two beasts. “The last shipment didn’t arrive and we had to use the last barrel three nights ago. So we gotta make do with what we have. Why aren’t you using the drill shots? They can get through their hide and then you can shoot at their open wounds.”

Miner made a face. “They malfunctioned last time and the engineers haven’t fixed them yet.”

Huffman cursed long and colorful.

The two manticores stopped moving, just staring at each other, probably preparing for their next charge.

“Do you have high blast detonators?” Jensen asked into the silence.

Miner looked at him with wide eyes. “Yes, but you can’t detonate them that close to the city. We’d blow a hole into the wall.”

“Not when they go off inside one of the fuckers.”

“What?” Miner stared at him, mouth hanging open.

Jensen felt himself grin. “Trust me, it works.”

If Dani had managed to get the Loranian desert worm, one of the toughest creatures out there, like that, it might just work.

Huffman looked him up and down. “Ackles, right?”

Jensen nodded.

“And how do you propose to get a detonator inside them?” Huffman asked skeptically.

“The old fashioned way.”

Out on the plain the manticores had started fighting again, crashing their massive bodies into each other again and again, coming closer to the city wall with each pass, until there was a tearing sound and one limb sailed through the air, bouncing off the wall with a squelching sound, and landing several feet away from them on the ground with a wet plop. The dismembered manticore swayed before it collapsed to the ground. The victor continued attacking it.

“We have a few seconds until that thing realizes the other one’s dead and decides to take on the next target.” Huffman was speaking quickly. “Now that it’s won, it won’t stop attacking us. Ackles, if you have a plan…”

“Actually,” a familiar voice behind them said and instant relief flooded Jensen.

“It’s my plan,” Dani said, stepping past the gun. “Sorry it took me so long,” she said to Jensen, who just shook his head.

“You’re here now,” he said. “Let’s kill that fucker.”

“It’s your funeral,” Huffman said, but told Miner to go fetch the detonators. “I already sent someone to the mines to get some more explosives out here, but I don’t know if they’ll be able to weaponize their charges quickly enough to get that thing before it breaches the wall.”

Miner skidded to halt in front of them, holding out a bag with five detonators.

Scanning the top of the tower, Jensen said, “we’re gonna have to borrow that glider.”

“Good luck,” Huffman said.

Dani and Jensen hurried up to the platform and jumped onto the glider.

“You drive,” Jensen said, “I have the better aim.”

Dani got on and started the engine, taking them out towards the manticore. “Just because you suck at driving,” she called over her shoulder and Jensen flicked her ear.

“One time I crashed a transporter, one time!”

Dani’s laughter was swallowed by the whooshing of the wind and Jensen felt the adrenaline rush through his system, all senses on high alert now that they were going out into the fight zone.

Dani took them to the ground in a sharp dive that had Jensen’s stomach fluttering in his chest. Then she flew a curve, going past the manticore and Jensen opened fire, aiming for the creature’s tiny eyes, surrounded by cutaneous folds so thick, they were almost impossible to hit. _Almost_.

The manticore roared and abandoned its path towards the city, instead turning to chase after the glider.

“Good shot,” Dani yelled.

“Sweet talk me later,” Jensen fired back, “just get us above that fucker’s head!”

With a jerk, Dani pulled the glider up, going past so close to the manticores face, a spray of spit hit Jensen’s body. Jensen gripped one of the detonators and fired his gun with the other, trying to hit the bleeding eye again. Dani was flying zigzags as close to the creature as she dared without getting hit by its snapping jaws or lashing limbs.

Finally, the manticores jaws opened again and Jensen was in position. He armed the detonator and threw it right down the manticore’s throat.

“Go, go, go!” he yelled at Dani and she pulled the glider around, trying to bring as much distance between them and the manticore as possible.

The manticore charged after them, but after a few steps, the detonator exploded. The sound was strangely muted, a distant thump, but the manticore collapsed to the ground with a heavy thud and didn’t get up again.

Slowing down, Dani steered the glider towards the manticore. Its loricate hide was still intact but blood and liquefied tissue were slowly dripping from its ripped open snout.

“Wow,” Dani said, deeply heartfelt. “That’s disgusting.”

Jensen snorted. “Why don’t you focus on the fact that we’ve brought Rhodes an unburned manticore to examine? I’m sure she’ll be excited about that.”

Dani’s expression brightened immediately.

“C’mon, let’s go back.” Jensen looked down at himself. “I’m covered in manticore spit.”

“Gross.” Dani wrinkled her nose and steered the glider towards the wall.

 

 

 

They took a shower in the barracks of the wall guards. The manticore spit had started to dry and give off a stink Jensen just couldn’t tolerate until they made it home. When they came out of the shower and got dressed in clothes Miner had laid out for them, Dani turned to Jensen.

“So. Last night.” She waggled her eyebrows. “He _did_ want to see you again.”

Last night… In the chaos of the alarm, Jensen hadn’t had time to think about it, but now that he did, he remembered. Talking to Jared like it had been the easiest thing in the world, going home together and then falling in bed together. And then, after the first round — nothing. He remembered the banter, Jared asking if he was tired, and then, just like the first night, he’d passed out; except this time, he knew he hadn’t been drunk. What the fuck was going on?

“Dani, do you remember the first night I went with Jared,” Jensen said slowly. “Idris took us out to celebrate.”

She gave him a confused look. “Yeah, I do. Why?”

“How drunk was I?”

Dani’s eyebrows shot up. “Drunk?”

“Yes, drunk.” Jensen looked at her impatiently. He’d just assumed he’d been drunk enough to pass out, but that hadn’t happened once since the additions. He’d just assumed JD’s homebrew had knocked him out.

“I don’t know, a bit.” Dani pursed her lips, trying to think back. “You were definitely a little drunk, yeah. Why?”

“I pretty much passed out that night as soon as I was in bed with Jared,” Jensen said.

Dani chortled. “No stamina. Really, I expected more from you.”

Jensen huffed. “ _Before_ anything happened. I just… passed out.”

“Jensen, we don’t just pass out. I’m not even sure if we could anymore, even with JD’s homebrew.” Dani looked at him sharply. “What’s going on?”

Jensen dragged a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I mean, the first night, I thought it was probably the booze. But last night, I just fell asleep when he asked me if I was tired. Which I wasn’t. I actually thought we’d continue our night, but before things could go further, I passed out, just like that.”

“Just like that?” Dani repeated incredulously. “You fucking passed out, _just like that_ , for the second time, and you're only telling me this now?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Jensen thought back to the beginning, when he’d been too grateful for a good night’s sleep to really question what had happened. Stupid.

“We had a manticore to kill, in case you don’t remember.”

“Yeah, but Jensen,” Dani stepped towards him, gripping his shoulder, “you need to go see a doctor.”

“What?” Jensen stared at her aghast. “Why?”

She looked at him like he was an idiot. “Why? Because this could be anything! Maybe there are diseases we can catch after all or its long term effects from the additions! I mean, what do we know, right?”

Jensen hadn’t even thought about it like that. While Dani might have a point — they really had no idea what the additions would do to them in the long run, the lasting effects of DNA manipulation weren’t well researched — he was pretty sure this was about a Jared. The passing out, the almost hypnotic asking him what he wanted—

“Dani, this is not about me, this is about Jared.”

She drew back. “The companion? What, you think he did this to you?”

“Think about it.” Jensen raised his hands and counted on his fingers. “It only happened with him. He always kept asking me what I wanted and he looked at me like he expected a certain kind of answer, more than what I was saying. And he was always gripping me real tight, and—”

Suddenly Jensen remembered in the bar, how a guy had approached Jared full of intent, but with a touch to his arm and a few well-placed words, Jared had steered the guy away. Then, Jensen hadn’t given it much thought, but now…

“I think that one night in the bar, he manipulated a guy he didn't want to go with. And he’s always pretty touchy-feely with people. I thought that was just how he was, but what if it’s more?”

“What are we thinking here?” Dani asked skeptically. “We only know one kind of people who fit the bill for that description, but they can’t affect us. We were _made_ to be unaffected.”

Dani was right of course. Their additions program hadn’t been the only secret military program happening far away from prying eyes. Unfortunately, when the military had started to experiment with hallucinogenic drugs to expand people's minds, it had first backfired and then, when the scientists had finally figured out it was the second generation that would survive to develop their powers, the so called enhanced had escaped, banded together with a group of dissidents, and started the rebellion.

“The timeline doesn’t fit anyway,” Jensen said. “Jared is years older than any of the enhanced we ever faced.”

“That’s right,” Dani said, starting to pace the locker room. “None of them were older than fifteen or sixteen. Jared looks like he’s at least twenty-two.”

Something occurred to Jensen then. The scientists had figured out that the children of the original probands were the ones who could survive the enhancements only by accident.

“What if he’s a child of the first or second generation?” Jensen said. “What if they never even knew he existed?”

Dani looked at him thoughtfully. “Maybe. I mean, the chances of that are pretty slim. From all they told us, the first few generations of probands were dying like flies, but sure, it’s a possibility. Insane as it sounds, it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

Jared was an enhanced. Had to be. Still...

“It doesn’t explain why he’s able to influence me,” Jensen said. “He shouldn’t be.”

“He’s a different generation than the ones we fought,” Dani pointed out. “Who knows how they changed the cocktails they gave those poor bastards.” She paused, then gave Jensen a heavy look. “If he’s an enhanced, there’s a price on his head.”

“You think that’s why he’s out here?”

She nodded. “Question is, what are you going to do?”

“Do?” Jensen asked. “What do you mean, do?”

He couldn’t believe Dani was insinuating he do something about Jared. Jensen saw red.

“We are not selling him out! How can you even think about that?”

“Whoa!” Dani raised her hands in deference but glared at him. “What the fuck? Of course I don’t want to rat the poor boy out.”

Jensen relaxed his tense muscles and immediately felt ashamed. Of course Dani would never think to sell someone out to the Alliance.

“I meant,” Dani continued, “what are _you_ going to do about Jared, now that you know about his abilities.” She gave him a pointed look. “Thanks to that kid, you've been sleeping. It’s not exactly what I had in mind when I told you to find someone to make you happy, but right now, I’ll take it.”

Jensen snorted, but he knew she was right. He needed the sleep. His body could endure a lot but he was starting to feel the strain of the sleep deprivation.

“You still have to find something else,” Dani said quietly. “Your tokens aren’t enough to get you through the month. And Jensen, you have to find a way to forgive yourself.”

Jensen walked out of the room without answering her. He’d never be able to forgive himself. He didn’t deserve it. But Dani was right, Jared would never let him spend all his tokens on him. One or two times a week, maybe. Jensen didn’t think that would be enough.

 

 

Jensen didn’t have an opportunity to find out how often Jared would be willing to accommodate him, because Jared was avoiding him. A whole week passed and Jared never showed up in any of the bars. In desperation, Jensen had even gotten his number and tried to call him, but Jared had never picked up or called him back. It was obvious the companion was avoiding him.

He should probably let it go. If he were a better man, he might. Jared didn’t want to see him again, Jensen should respect that. Unfortunately, he didn’t have that luxury. The lack of sleep was finally catching up with him. He felt tired down to his bones, muscles heavy and head foggy. At breakfast, he toppled over a coffee cup because his hand was trembling. Aldis shot him a worried look, but backed off when Jensen deflected.

During patrols, he had to keep moving, because the one time he’d stood still, he’d dozed off for a few seconds and almost missed an approaching cerberus. As soon as the adrenaline pumped through his body he was fine, his focus razor sharp, but after their shift end, he fell into bed before even grabbing dinner. He woke in the middle of the night, body aching and throat dry from screaming.

Dani finally cornered him one evening, dragged him out to the balcony and offered him a pipe. Jensen took the small cylinder carved from the finest Larrola wood and inhaled.

The smooth smoke filled his lungs, leaving an aroma of spicy vanilla behind.

“Shire grass?” Jensen asked. “Didn’t think you could get that out here.”

“Cost me more tokens than I care to remember, but I thought I should butter you up a bit.” Dani sat down next to him, her legs dangling over the balcony’s edge next to his.

Occasionally their feet would touch and it reminded Jensen of the days on Ferasion when they’d sat on the beams over the marketplace, sharing their haul and watching over their friends.

“You need to sleep,” Dani said after a few moments of silence.

Jensen groaned. She never beat around the bush.

“You know I’m right.”

“Of course I fucking know, does that make you feel better?” The words burst out of Jensen and he hated that he was snapping at her, but he was pissed. He was tired and sore and really, really pissed.

“I know I fucking need to sleep, but there’s nothing I can do, okay?” Jensen took a deep breath of the pipe, trying to calm down. “I can’t take any meds strong enough to put me under short of anything that’s gonna make me addicted, and I can’t even drink enough to sleep through the whole night. No matter what I do, at some point I just wake up, and there’s nothing I can do.”

“What the infinity is going on in your head, Jensen?” Dani asked, and for the first time he saw open worry on her face, undisguised by sarcasm or teasing. Dani was usually very good at hiding serious emotions.

Jensen couldn’t tell her. He wouldn’t do that to her. He’d dragged her into the war into the first place, it was his burden to bear.

“For fuck’s sake, Jensen,” Dani snapped. “I was there, okay? I know. I understand. Just talk to me, man.”

“No, you don’t,” Jensen burst out before he could stop himself.

Dani was staring at him wide-eyed, so he took a deep breath, trying to find his equilibrium. “Dani, let it go, okay. I appreciate your concern. But nothing you could say is gonna change anything. I just have to deal with this.”

She shook her head. “But you can’t. Look at you! You lost weight, you have giant circles under your eyes that don’t disappear, and you’re losing your edge.” She took a deep breath from her own pipe and let the smoke out in angry puffs. “Why don’t you at least go to Jared? That way you won’t get eaten in the mines cause you fall asleep on guard.”

“He’s avoiding me,” Jensen admitted morosely. “I don’t know if he figured it out, or if he’s just scared because his powers don’t work on me, but he doesn’t want to see me again.”

“Boo hoo,” Dani said. “He’s gotta suck it up, because you need some serious sleep. Besides, you should be a really easy client.”

Jensen nodded. She was right. He hadn’t approached Jared because he didn’t want to force him. There was also the matter that Jared had slept with him once — what if he’d only done that because his abilities hadn’t worked? What if Jensen had pushed him into a corner and Jared hadn’t had a way out? Shame burned hot in his belly. He’d always prided himself on never abusing a companion’s company.

“What’s the hang up now?” Dani asked.

“He slept with me,” Jensen said, bile rising in his throat. He swallowed. “And it was… I didn’t put it together at the time but now — I don’t think he’d done that in a long time, if ever. What if—”

“Stop that,” Dani said. “You don’t know that. Beat yourself up about it later, after you talked to him. Right now, go find him and get some shut eye. I’m not gonna bury your stubborn ass on this piece of shit planet.”

With that, she stood up and left Jensen alone on the balcony. He took another drag of the pipe and thought about Jared. He couldn’t help but wonder what his life had been like. Had his parent been one of the few to survive the experiments or had he grown up an orphan? And what had led him to come to Wora, of all places. Jensen hated the idea of forcing Jared to do something he didn’t want to, but if he wanted to stay alive, he didn’t see another way. He vowed to never touch Jared again. That was the least he could do.

 

 

 

Finding Jared proved to be more difficult than he’d thought. He couldn’t very well hang around Jared’s apartment. This needed to be done without attracting attention, for both their sakes.

He finally caught Jared at the candy store after Sam told him Jared loved raspberry ice cream which was the flavor of the day every third tenth day in a pay period. She’d noticed Jensen’s lack of sleep as well but thought Jensen was just love sick for the companion’s company. She seemed to think it was _romantic_. Jensen didn’t correct her.

Steeling himself, Jensen approached Jared in the fruit section. “Jared, hey. Haven’t seen you in a while. Can we talk?”

Jared gave him an easy grin, but his shoulders tensed up. “Yeah, sure, what’s up?”

“Over here,” Jensen said and pulled Jared into a corner of the store. It was a surveillance blind spot and Jensen didn’t want a possible audience for this.

With a jerk, Jared pulled his arm out of his grip. “What the fuck? I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but you can’t just drag me around, that’s not how it works.”

Taking a step back, Jensen raised his hands, palms out. “Sorry. I just want to talk without an audience.”

Jared frowned at him in apprehension. “What’s going on?”

“The nights I spent with you, I slept better than I have in years.” In fact, it had been the best night’s sleep ever since he’d received his additions. “I don’t do too well with the sleeping these days and I was thinking you could help me out.”

Jared took a slow step backwards, fear clear in his eyes. “I usually don’t let people spend the night, but maybe we can work something out.”

Jensen readied himself and said, “that’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Jared tried to bolt. Jensen slung an arm around his chest and pulled him back into the niche. “Don’t run, we don’t want to draw attention.”

“Let go of me.” Jared was struggling in his arms and he put up a good fight, but Jensen was too strong for him.

“Jared, listen to me. I don’t want to expose you, okay? I just want to fucking sleep.”

In his arms, Jared stilled. He was still breathing heavily and his heart was beating rapidly under Jensen’s hand.

“What — what do you mean?”

With a sigh, Jensen let go of Jared. Immediately, he stepped back, eying Jensen warily. Jensen buried his hands in his pockets, trying to appear non-threatening. He needed to know what Jared knew.

“You’ve been avoiding me. You tell me.”

Jared glared at Jensen and squared his jaw. “There’s nothing to tell. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you but you can’t treat me like this. I haven’t been avoiding you, I was busy. As for your sleeping problem, I’m sorry about that but that’s not what I’m here for.”

Jensen nodded, watching Jared for any sign of running away. “Sure yeah, okay. Then why’d you run just now? If nothing is going?”

“You grabbed me,” Jared hissed. “I don’t like grabby assholes.”

“Fine, okay.” Jensen bowed his head, trying to look reasonably contrite. And he was really sorry for treating Jared like this. “I apologize.”

Jared was clearly going with denial, but Jensen knew he was right. He just needed Jared to admit to it and tell him what his deal was.

“So, now that I have you here, how about we make a new date? No sex, just sleeping.”

Jared gave him a haughty look. “Forget it. After what you just pulled, I have no inclination to ever meet with you again, and I don’t give a shit what the Colonel thinks.”

Jensen hadn’t wanted it to come this far, but he didn’t have a choice. Jared obviously wouldn’t come clean and Jensen needed to sleep.

“Sure,” Jensen said, voice even but hating himself for every word. “It’s just, when JD asks what’s up, I might have to tell him. About me sleeping so well in your arms. About how you just tell me to go to sleep and I do.”

Jared’s eyes widened in fear and Jensen steeled himself against their effect. “You see, JD and I, we have a history. Served together. He trained Dani and me, you know.”

Jensen let the words hang threateningly in the air and Jared’s panicked look told him the companion knew exactly what he was talking about.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jared said, his voice tight with denial. “Whatever it is you think you know, you won’t be able to prove it.”

Jensen cocked his head, keeping his poker face on. “Prove it? One call to a good friend of mine, check to see what bounties are currently called out, and that’s all the proof I need.”

Jared’s shoulders sagged, defeat steeling itself into his features and Jensen wanted to punch himself in the face. He never wanted to make another person look like that, Jared especially.

“So,” Jensen said coldly. “Tell me what you did to me.”

“If you sell me out,” Jared said defiantly, words dripping with venom, “I won’t help you. And like I said the first time we met, _sugar_ , you really need some sleep.”

Jensen crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Might be. But I’ll be rich enough to check myself into the next high end clinic where they can just do some artificial sleep therapy.” Jensen forced his mouth into a cruel smile. “So you see, whether you help me out or I sell you and with the money, someone else helps me out - either option doesn’t matter much to me.”

The angry line around Jared’s mouth and his hammering pulse told Jensen the companion had realized he didn’t really have a choice anymore

“Just tell me, Jared,” Jensen said in what Dani called his soft, serial killer voice that he’d used countless times on criminals, dignitaries, politicians, and even royalty to get what he needed for a mission. “Tell me what you did to me and I might take the risk of the creepers and you putting me to sleep over a therapy that doesn’t work to a hundred percent.”

Jensen had no idea if such a sleep therapy existed and how successful it was, but Jared apparently didn’t either.

For a moment, they stared at each other in silence, Jensen cold and calculating, Jared angry and desperate.

“I don’t know, okay?” It broke out of Jared. Frustrated, he shook his head. “My abilities didn’t work on you like on other people.”

So, Jared did have powers. But if it wasn’t putting people to sleep, what was it then?

“I don’t hurt anyone,” Jared continued. “I just show them what they want. That’s not so bad, right?”

Jensen raised one eyebrow. He didn’t think there was any kind of mind manipulation that was good and it sounded like Jared was doing exactly that.

“I didn’t even… I would’ve avoided you.” Jared laughed, short and self-deprecatingly. “I mean, at first I thought, maybe you were too drunk and then…” Jared made a wavy hand motion. “And then I found out you were one of _them_.” The words were laden with hate.

“One of them?” Jensen asked with trepidation.

“One of the monsters,” Jared spit out the words like they were poison. “One of those fucking Alliance Special Ops, gene manipulated, we-kill-everything-in-our-path soldiers. What you bastards did on Sulaa...”

“Look, I won’t hurt you,” Jensen said, ignoring how his chest constricted at Jared’s words. “This wasn’t my choice, okay?” he said, trying to explain, again not really knowing why he was explaining himself to Jared.

Jared scoffed. “What, you were abducted?”

“No, but—”

“They forced you to participate in the procedure?”

“No, but—”

Jared raised his eyebrows. “But what? You signed up for it! That’s not ‘not having a choice’. You know what not having a choice is? Being told you’re testing a headache drug when they dose you with experimental hallucinogenic agents.”

“We didn’t know either,” Jensen shouted. At Jared’s flinch, he drew a deep breath. “Look, the whole thing was a mess. And I’m not saying I didn't sign up willingly, but we had no idea what would happen or how they’d use us, okay? It was just — we fit the bill, health wise, and they offered better compensation than anything else. We had nothing, Jared, and it was our only way out.”

“Doesn’t change what you did.”

Jared was right. Despite not signing up for it, it was still Jensen’s fault. He’d stopped being vigilant, had gotten complacent, a sheep.

“Were you there?” Jensen needed to know. If there was a chance he might’ve met Jared in battle…

Jared shook his head. “No. I just heard the stories.”

“Not a lot of people talk about what happened,” Jensen said after a brief pause.

“You mean, not a lot of people survived.”

Jensen felt like Jared had punched him right in the solar plexus. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, and tried to banish the memories coming up from the deepest pits of his mind. He had to focus on matters at hand.

“You said something about powers,” Jensen prompted, trying to get back on track.

“Look, can we maybe do this somewhere else before people notice,” Jared said, suddenly smiling brightly at him. Then he playfully hit Jensen’s shoulder and laughed. “You’re such a charmer. Alright then, Ackles, I’ll see you tonight. Nineteen-hundred, sharp.”

Jensen forced himself to smile and when Jared walked away he saw that a few people in the store were watching. Jensen tried to go for an embarrassed shrug and from the benevolent eye rolls around him, he thought he’d succeeded. He left the store with quick steps.

Nineteen-hundred couldn’t come fast enough. He really needed to know what Jared knew, how he’d avoided the revolution, and what his mysterious powers were if it usually wasn’t putting people to sleep. He’d said he just showed people what they wanted but Jensen had no idea what that meant. He had just passed out. The fact that he had been able to do that…

None of the enhanced had ever been able to use their powers on soldiers with additions. Their DNA was too little human for it to work. The possibility that Jared could influence him somehow... it was disconcerting, to say the least. Considering Jared used his abilities on a regular basis, Jensen needed to figure out what he was up to. He didn’t want to think Jared was hurting anyone, had believed him when he’d said that, but the soldier in Jensen still knew he had to do a thorough risk assessment. He didn’t want to involve anyone else, but if Jared could potentially be dangerous — yeah, Jensen’s didn’t want to think about that at all. He’d really thought he’d left at least this part of all the Alliance crap behind.

 

 

 

Jensen stood outside Jared’s apartment at nineteen-hundred on the dot. Jared let him inside, and they both moved slightly stiff to Jared’s dining table and sat down. Nobody said a word.

Finally Jensen cleared his throat. “So. How about you tell me what you can do?”

“Do I have a choice?” Jared asked flatly.

Jensen didn’t hesitate. “No. I need to know. For everybody’s safety.”

“I’m not a criminal,” Jared said angrily. “I would never hurt anyone, contrary to you. I just use my powers to give the people the best sex of their life, what’s so wrong with that?”

Jensen drew up short. “How about you explain?”

“I can read people's minds.” At Jensen’s horrified look, Jared made a dismissive hand gesture. “Not like full out I can hear every word you think. More like their deepest desires and wishes, but it only works when I touch them. And then I can show them what they want to see,” Jared said calmly.

Jensen considered that. Thought about the best sex of his life that he’d had with Jared. Jared said his powers didn’t work on Jensen, but that night had been incredible.

“So, that second night,” he asked, “it wasn’t real?”

“That’s the thing,” Jared said. “With you, it just doesn’t work. The first time I thought maybe you were too drunk. If a mind is too fuzzy I can’t get a good read and my projections aren’t… always that adequate. But from you, I got nothing. I can’t really explain it, just, when I pushed harder, you just passed out. I didn’t want to see you again, but then Rob pushed me at you and well, I was curious. I’d never met someone I couldn’t influence. And then I tried and it just didn’t work, and then you kissed me.”

“Was that your first time?” If Jensen had taken Jared’s experience wrongly for granted…

“What? No,” Jared said vehemently, then his face fell. “Was it that bad?”

“No,” Jensen tried to backpedal. “No, it was great. I just, you said, you influenced people…”

“Yeah, if I don’t want to sleep with them. I’ve had sex before, you know. Don’t worry, you didn’t take my virginity.” Jared was clearly affronted by Jensen’s assumption.

“That’s not how I meant that.”

“Yeah, you did.”

For a moment, they stared at each other in silence.

“So where do we go from here?” Jared finally asked.

Jensen sighed. “I just want to sleep with you.”

Jared stiffened.

“Not have sex,” Jensen hastened to explain, even though, if he was honest with himself, he’d like that too. “Just sleep. I’ll pay you with all my tokens, so no one will think anything’s off. If you could just help me sleep…”

“There are meds for that,” Jared said.

Jensen huffed. “Don’t work on me.”

“And you’d spend your tokens on that? On sleeping?” Jared asked incredulously.

“You’d understand if you’ve ever gone a week without a good night’s sleep. Besides, what I’m giving up is just sex. It doesn’t really compare.”

Jensen hesitated, thinking of his night with Jared. It wasn’t only the release, and the pleasure, but also the closeness and the intimacy.

“Well, it kinda does, but the long term effects of sleep deprivation are way worse than sex deprivation.”

For a long minute, Jared eyed him warily, then he nodded. “Alright, fair enough. You can spend all your tokens on spending the night with me and in exchange, you don’t tell anyone about me.”

Jensen nodded.

“You swear?” Jared pressed. “You won’t tell anyone and you won’t sell me out?”

Jared tried to keep his composure, but Jensen could hear his hammering heart, could smell the sweat running down Jared’s back in fear. He couldn’t leave Jared in this misery.

“Jared, I… I swear, I won’t sell you out. I wouldn’t.”

Jared scoffed.

Jensen took a deep breath. “I promise. Even if you’d have said no, I wouldn’t. I could never do that to anyone. I just needed you to tell me so we can work out some kind of deal.”

Jared stared at him, face a stony mask. “Are you fucking _kidding_ me?”

Helpless, Jensen shook his head. “I know it’s a dick move, but you never would’ve admitted to it, if i hadn’t threatened you.”

“So, you what?” Jared looked at him incredulously. “You thought it would be a good idea to fake blackmail me? Scare the ever-loving shit out of me? Make me think I might get sold out to the Alliance? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I just want to fucking sleep!” Jensen roared back.

Jared’s flinch was minimal, but Jensen caught it. Agitatedly, he dragged his hands over his face and rubbed his eyes.

Taking a deep breath he looked at Jared imploringly. “I’m sorry. The sleep deprivation messes with my mood, I think. I’m not usually—”

“An ass?” Jared suggested coldly. “A fucking piece of shit?”

“Yeah.” Jensen knew he deserved that. He just wanted Jared to understand. “Look, you're literally my only shot here. Medication doesn’t work on me, I can’t drink myself to sleep, not even with JD’s homebrew and I reached the end of my line here. If I don’t get some sleep soon, I’m gonna start making mistakes. Which is not really something I can afford down in the mines.”

Jared’s expression hat softened a bit, but he stilled glared at Jensen. “So get another job. I know they don’t pay that well but if you fall asleep behind the checkout station in the supermarket, no one’s going to die.”

“It’s not about the money,” Jensen hissed, before he remembered he was an irritated ass with a severe lack of sleep and he should not take it out on Jared. “Sorry. It’s just, it’s really not. This kind of work though, it’s what we’re good at, Dani and I. We can save people. Besides, I doubt she’d be happy with anything else and I need to be out there with her.”

“Why?”

Jensen shrugged his shoulders. “Because I need to watch her back. It’s what I’ve always done.”

Jared’s eyes widened, then he looked down at the table.

Sensing an opening, Jensen leaned forwards. “Look, I’ll be your best customer. Just put me to sleep, no deception games, okay. No seeing weird fantasies.”

Jared’s startled look told Jensen he had hit home. Well, it was no surprise really. People were kinky fuckers, especially when they had an all access pass to a companion.

“I can’t believe I’m considering this,” Jared muttered. “After the stunt you just pulled, I should throw you out on your ass. But then, you could always change your mind. About selling me out.”

Jensen shook his head emphatically. “No. Even if you tell me to go now, I won’t tell anyone. I don’t know how you avoided the Alliance so far, but it’s a good thing they never got your claws in you.”

Jared’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Now, that doesn’t sound like a good little soldier.”

Suppressing a growl, Jensen just shot Jared an angry look. “There’s only so long you can serve the Alliance before you see what they really are.”

“Funny, I never had a problem with that,” Jared shot back.

They glared at each other again, before Jensen leaned back. Jared was right, he knew he was, and he didn’t even know why they were arguing.

“Okay, look, I’m begging you here. Please. Just help me sleep.”

For the longest time Jared looked at him, eyes searching Jensen’s face intently. Jensen wasn’t sure what it was he saw. Jensen knew what he saw every morning, looking in the mirror; a tired face, dark circles under his eyes. Ashen skin and a haunted expression. A dead man walking.

Jared finally seemed to make up his mind, because he sat up straight and stabbed a finger at Jensen.

“Fine. I’ll help you. Because, contrary to you, I am a good person and don’t want people to suffer. But you will not breathe a word of this to anyone.”

Nodding, Jensen kept his face even. “I swear. I mean, Dani already knows, but she won’t tell anyone either.”

“This just gets better and better,” Jared murmured angrily.

“Look, she hates the Alliance as much as I do. We both — let’s just say, she won’t tell. Besides, she has a vested interest in keeping me alive. So, I promise, no one will know.”

Jared huffed. “You’re still a dick. Just in case you didn’t know.”

Relieved, Jensen felt the corners of his mouth pull up in a crooked grin. “Yeah, I know.”

Jared turned around, muttering something about this not being funny and Jensen being an ass, but Jensen knew it wasn’t meant for his ears, so he ignored it. His hands were shaking again and the fatigue that had been his constant companion the last few days hit him full force now that the confrontation was over.

“Can you put me to sleep now?” Jensen asked, trying not to sound too desperate. “I really need sleep.”

Jared shot him a glare but nodded. Jensen moved towards the bed but Jared cut him off.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked sharply.

“Going to bed?”

Jared’s eyes narrowed to slits. “No.”

“What do you mean, no?” Jensen asked confused.

“What does the word ‘no’ usually mean, Ackles?” Jared snapped.

They were back to last names. Great.

“If we do this,” Jared continues, “I have a few rules. You will not speak a word of this to anyone.”

“I already told you,” Jensen tried to interject, but Jared just talked him over.

“Someone asks you, you tell them I am the best thing that ever happened to you and you just can’t get enough.”

Jensen nodded. Of course. Anything.

“You sleep on the couch, not in my bed.”

Jensen eyed the couch warily. It didn’t look overly comfortable to sleep on and he wasn’t sure if he could fit his whole body on there, but sleeping on a crappy couch was better than not sleeping at all.

“And you make me coffee. Every morning,” Jared tacked on.

Jensen wanted to laugh in relief but he thought that wouldn’t go over too well.

“Deal.”

Jensen took off his boots, pants and jacket, leaving him in his briefs and undershirt.

“What are you doing?” Jared asked, voice strained.

Jensen turned around to look at him. “Going to bed? Do you have a blanket I can borrow?”

For a moment, Jared stared at him, completely incredulous, then he huffed and turned around to go into his bedroom.

“And a pillow maybe?”

“Don’t push it, Ackles!” Jared called back, but returned with a pillow and a blanket.

He threw it at Jensen with a pissed “here”, but Jensen didn’t care. He was just happy he’d get a full night of sleep.

Jensen laid down on the couch and shot Jared an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I know this is not…”

“Oh, shut up,” Jared grouched. “If you want to ease your conscience, just make me coffee in the morning, but don’t give me a bullshit apology that’s only designed to make you feel better.”

Jensen shut up.

Jared put a hand on Jensen’s shoulder and before Jensen could think of something else to say, anything that would get that look full of disdain off of Jared’s face, he was already asleep.

 

 


	6. Part Five

 

  


 

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chad didn’t look up from the screen when Jared stormed into his apartment.  
  
“Put lover boy to sleep?” he asked absently, while tapping away on his tablet and simultaneously watching the screen. A young Samwi was crying over a blonde girl’s limp body while in the background, a whole city was aflame.  
  
“Don’t call him that,” Jared snapped and let himself fall down on the couch.  
  
He just came from a very unpleasant run in with Tahmoh and he didn’t need Chad’s needling. It had been a few weeks since Jensen had started sleeping on Jared’s couch and Jared was still not amused. Chad thought it was hilarious, saying it was his own personal, real live soap opera.  
  
“So, you’re still not talking to each other?”  
  
Jared pulled a face. “What’s there to talk about? We say hello and goodbye, he keeps thanking me, profusely, I might add, and then I put him to sleep. Most of the time I get up, he’s already gone.”  
  
It had been two weeks since their arrangement started and Jared was still kind of pissed at Jensen. Sure, with a little more distance and perspective, he could understand why the guy had been so desperate. But still. Fake blackmail? Not something Jared could just forgive.  
  
“You should just forgive him,” Chad said, still concentrating on the little screen propped up on his knees. “I mean, yeah, he was an ass, but it’s a good looking ass, yeah?”  
  
“So?”  
  
Now, Chad raised his head and gave Jared a disapproving look. “Dude. I have seen Ackles. That is one _very_ good looking ass.”  
  
“So?” Jared repeated. It didn’t change anything.  
  
“You should really tap that,” Chad said. “I mean, the circumstances are practically perfect.”  
  
“Did you miss the part where he tried to blackmail me?” Jared asked in annoyance.  
  
“ _Pretended_ to blackmail you.” Chad gave him a smug smile. “Guy couldn’t even keep up the pretense of blackmail when faced with your puppy dog eyes. So like I said, perfect. Hate sex is the best.”  
  
Jared let his head fall back against the couch’s headrest. “I don’t know why I’m friends with you.”  
  
Chad patted his shoulder comfortingly. “Cause I tell you the hard truths when you need to hear them. Now shut up, this is the best part.”  
  
Confused, Jared looked at the screen where Samwi was sobbing now that the girl was obviously dead.  
  
“He’s just crying.”  
  
Chad nodded dreamily. “It’s the best part when they cry.”  
  
Jared continued watching, saw Samwi finally get up, watched him bury what had to have been his girlfriend, and then walk away. Winde was nowhere in sight, so this had to be an old episode.  
  
“I’m still not gonna sleep with him,” Jared muttered.  
  
Chad just sighed deeply.  
  
“Seriously, I have enough trouble with Tahmoh.”  
  
Chad made a face and noisily sucked in air. “He finally declared his undying love for you?”  
  
“Worse,” Jared said dejectedly. “Tahmoh is completely going off the rails; I can’t handle that shit right now.”  
  
“Why, what happened?” Chad gave him a concerned look and stopped the television.  
  
“He cornered me, said something about there being no use in avoiding me, he knew how I felt about him.” Antagonized, Jared rubbed his face. “He said it was obvious from the way I acted, which, I have no idea how. Fantasy-me in his mind could’ve said or done all kinds of things. I kinda stopped paying attention a while ago. I was like ‘there is nothing I feel’ and he was all ‘bullshit, I saw it in your eyes,’ and I just… walked away.” Jared stared morosely up at the ceiling. “Fuck. What am I gonna do?”  
  
“Tell him you’re a companion and your job is to make him happy. It’ll devastate him but he’ll back off.”  
  
“Yeah, I think I have to. What if he doesn’t believe me though?” Jared really didn’t need another conversation with Tahmoh about ‘undeniable feelings’.  
  
Chad chewed on his tongue, then he grinned slowly. “Tell him you can’t, you’re already with someone else.”  
  
“Seriously?”  
  
“Hey, Tahmoh is Waikran, right?” Chad nodded with the satisfaction of someone who knew their plan would work out. “They’re very conservative, their warrior caste has all the rights. If you tell him you belong to another highly respected security guard already, he’ll have to back off.”  
  
“Are you kidding me? I might be a companion but I’m no one’s property,” Jared protested.  
  
“Dude, I know that.” Chad gave him an exasperated huff. “But he’s a stupid elitist ass who doesn’t! Gotta beat him at his own game.”  
  
Jared grumbled, but Chad’s knowledge about the different customs through the Old Galaxy was vast and he usually had a pretty good grip on what made people tick. And despite not liking it, Jared knew Chad was right.  
  
“You know who’s perfect for that role, right?” Chad asked with a completely innocent face.  
  
Jared hit him with the next thing lying between the couch cushions, which happened to be one of Chad’s numerous remotes. He was _not_ going to ask Jensen for help.  
  
  
  
When Jared got home, Jensen was still deep asleep. His work in the mines gave him a completely different schedule than Jared who had the luxury of sleeping in longer and could go to bed later.  
  
They had agreed on every third night, spreading it out evenly so Jensen could make the most out of his nights at Jared’s. Jensen’s stretched out body on Jared’s couch had become a familiar sight, just like the full coffee pot he woke up to every morning. He’d tried to get Jensen to tell him how he made it, but Jensen just smiled pleasantly and shook his head.  
  
“If you know how to make the coffee, I fear you’re just gonna throw me out.”  
  
Jared had scoffed. Jensen hadn’t relented, which really sucked because the only mornings Jared got his good coffee fix where the ones Jensen stayed over. He secretly suspected it might be a ploy to get him to allow Jensen to come over more frequently, but Jared had to put down his foot somewhere. Yes, when he and Jensen had started their arrangement, Jensen had looked like shit. When Jared had met him for the first time, he’d been taken aback by his good looks — because really, no human being looked that good, but considering Jensen’s friend Dani was incredibly beautiful as well, Jared would just blame the genetic modifications — but Jensen hadn’t looked his handsome self in a while.  
  
He’d gotten worse every time Jared had seen him, dark circles in a pale face, making his eyes appear too big for his gaunt features. He’d lost weight too, bulky muscles shrinking, leaving him looking sinewy and too slight for his frame.  
  
After two weeks on sleeping with Jared’s help, he’d gotten slightly better. The circles under his eyes had almost disappeared and Jared could see Jensen had put on some weight. With how shameless the guy was about dressing and undressing in Jared’s living room, he really couldn’t avoid looking. Would it be so hard to change in the bathroom?  
  
Jared had mentioned this and Jensen had just given him an astounded and slightly amused smile, making Jared feel like a blushing teenager. He’d never commented on it again and cursed Jensen for being such an ass.  
  
Ignoring Jensen’s sleeping form, Jared went into his bedroom, but just when he’d laid down, he was startled by a loud bang from the other room. Awesome. Jensen was having another one of his nightmares and trashing Jared’s living room.  
  
Like clockwork, he got them every night. Sometimes they came early, before Jared went to bed, and he could just give Jensen another push. Sometimes they came later, ripping Jared out of his sleep. With a sigh, Jared got up. He walked out into the living room, carefully watching Jensen. He was lying on his back, features scrunched up in distress. His arms were lying limply by his side, but Jared wasn’t fooled. He could lash out every moment.  
  
Carefully, Jared reached out, touched Jensen’s forehead and pushed forward with his mind. He’d become familiar with the mostly intangible feel of Jensen’s mind and immediately, Jensen fell into a deeper slumber.  
  
Slowly, Jared ambled back into his own bed. When he saw the terror and pain etched into Jensen’s features at night, he couldn’t help but feel pity. Whatever horrible things Jensen had done, they had come back to haunt him. Considering the slaughter Jensen had been a part of, Jared thought he deserved it. Jensen had tried telling him his version of the story, but Jared hadn’t been interested.  
  
In the silence of the night, he could admit he was curious. He’d asked around and none of the people who’d met Jensen had said one bad word about it. Sure, he was closed off, but he was a good fighter — especially Rob, who couldn’t stop singing his praise — brave and putting others before him.  
  
It didn’t matter though, not really. Chad’s friends had kept him informed and they’d even smuggled one of the rebels out on Wora about a year ago. He hadn’t been one of the enhanced, but he’d been there when they died. He’d left Wora after a few short months, unable to deal with the constant dusk-like light but he had told Jared enough stories about the others who’d turned out like him. Their abilities had been much stronger than his, different forms of mindreading and manipulation without the need for physical contact, but all of them helpless against the genetically modified soldiers. Soldiers like Jensen.  
  
Jared wasn’t sure why he was able to influence Jensen at all, even if it was different. Maybe it was because he came from a different generation of experiments or maybe it was because both his parents had participated. Who knew what those crazy scientists had cooked up in their labs?  
  
Chad had argued that Jared couldn’t know for sure if Jensen had been involved, that he might have been just a pawn. His nightmares could stem from all kinds of horrible things.  
  
With a sigh, Jared turned off the lights. Jensen had never struck him as a cold hearted killer, but what did he know? The memories of his night with Jensen still lingered; phantom touches that never failed to arouse Jared whenever he thought about them. So when it came to Jensen Ackles, he didn’t trust himself to pass judgement.  
  
  
  
The next morning was a weekend, meaning Jensen could sleep in as well. When Jared woke up, the coffee was already brewing but not done yet. He slowly inched into the kitchen, hating how Jensen made him feel off-guard in his own home.  
  
“Hey,” Jensen said, voice still rough from sleep.  
  
It sounded just like that night, when he’d asked Jared what he liked, what he wanted. He sounded like when he’d praised Jared for being so beautiful, for being so perfect— Jared forced himself to stop thinking about that.  
  
“You’re still here,” he said instead, and the abruptness of his voice made him cringe.  
  
Jensen shot him a sheepish look. “Yeah, sorry. I was out like a light and I don’t have to work today, but I can leave. The coffee’s almost done anyway, just throw in a pinch of chili and it’ll be good.”  
  
“No, it’s okay.” Jared heard himself say quickly. He’d never seen Jensen so contrite. It was… unsettling. “I was just surprised.” Before the situation could get awkward, well _more_ awkward, Jared fled into the bathroom.  
  
When he came out freshly showered, a steaming cup was already waiting for him and Jensen was putting the spices away. He actually remembered the order Jared kept them and took great care to leave everything behind how he found it. He was very considerate like that. For a moment, Jared stared and watched Jensen stretch, watched the strong, lean muscles in his arm move under his skin while he put one of the spices up onto the highest shelf. When Jensen was done, he turned to Jared and looked at him expectantly with his big green eyes.  
  
“So, the coffee,” Jared burst out to break the uncomfortable silence, trying to cover it with an awkward laugh. “At least tell me where you picked up the recipe.”  
  
“It's a mix, actually,” Jensen said, a small pleased smile dancing on his lips. “The basic spice mixture I use is Dentuuri, but if you grow up on Ferasion, you like your drinks with a little kick to them, so I put a pinch of chili in it.”  
  
“Dentuuri?” Jared asked in surprise.  
  
The Tuuri system was basically the setting for every Starwood produced fairytale story ever. The five planets, Zentuuri, Cautuuri, Matuuri, Rotuuri and Dentuuri featured some of the most beautiful landscapes in the Old Galaxy and the slightly lower gravitational force gave humans a very graceful, almost floating step. It was hilarious to see off-planeters walk on a Tuuri planet the first time, but it gave the inhabitants an ethereal grace. People living on the Tuuries, as the planets were called, were also notoriously closed off and protective of their native culture and customs.  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen said with a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Dani and I flew a mission out there a few years ago. The Dentuuri Representative was almost assassinated before an Assembly meeting — something about trade agreements, I think — so the Security Council assigned us as security detail on his way home. There was an attack on the flight, and we saved his life. The Dentuuri take something like that very seriously. He invited us to stay with him for a few days and when his wife saw how much we liked the coffee, she gave us the recipe.”  
  
“Aren’t the Dentuuri supposed to be really secretive with their stuff?” Jared asked suspiciously.  
  
“I took a laser blast for him, that was enough for his wife.”  
  
Jensen said it so casually, like it meant nothing he had risked his own life for another person. Maybe as a soldier he’d gotten used to it. Jared didn’t know if he should admire or pity that. Instead, he tried to focus on the fun aspects of Dentuuri.  
  
Thinking of the clips Chad had shown him of tourists tripping over their own feet on their Dentuuri visit made him smile.  
  
“I would pay money to see you stumble over Dentuuri.”  
  
Jensen gave him a mischievous smile. “Sorry to disappoint, but I have a very good sense of balance. No tripping.”  
  
The reminder of Jensen's additions, as he'd called them when he tried to explain to him, sobered Jared up instantly. Sometimes it was easy to forget who Jensen was and what he'd been a part of, especially when he gave Jared one of his rare smiles. He was still an Alliance soldier.  
  
Jensen must have realize what he'd said, because he coughed. “I should go.”  
  
Mutely, Jared nodded and Jensen let himself out of the apartment quietly.  
  
Despite the uncomfortable ending, something about that conversation still managed to break the ice. Jensen seemed emboldened by Jared's willingness to talk and asked the occasional question, or shared something from his day, or a story of his more or less peaceful pre-war Forces days.  
  
He was an attentive listener whenever Jared divulged one of his own tidbits. Just like with Chad, Jared found it refreshing to talk to someone who knew about his abilities and didn't judge. In the beginning, Jensen had quizzed him how he used his abilities, but he seemed assured now that Jared didn't have anything nefarious on his mind.  
  
Their conversations were nevertheless careful and often stilted, and Jared tried to keep his distance emotionally. He still hadn't gotten that night with Jensen out of his mind, and jerking off to it didn't exactly help with that, but it had been hands down the best sex Jared ever had. He knew it was circumstantial, knew it was because of Jensen's protected mind, but he still couldn't ignore that Jensen had made it all about Jared, something that he'd never seen in any one of his clients’ minds. When Jensen was sitting at the kitchen table with him, looking at him attentively with his big, green eyes, it pulled Jared right back to that night.  
  
It annoyed the crap out of Jared that he couldn't let it go, but neither his traitorous mind, nor his traitorous dick, seemed to have any inclination about stopping to use Jensen as the number one jerk-off material. Jared really tried not to think of Jensen like that, but with his attentiveness and earnest thanks, Jensen didn’t exactly make it easy.  
  
“Tell me how you met Dani,” Jared blurted out one morning, unnerved by Jensen’s eyes on him the whole time Jared spoke about some inconsequential recipe.  
  
Jensen was clearly taken off-guard by this question, but he answered anyway.  
  
“I was ten or eleven I think. I’d been living in the orphanage ever since I could remember and it sucked.” Jensen let out a hard laugh. “There wasn’t money, for anything really, so we all wore the ragged clothes of the bigger children, we never had enough food, and the buildings were almost falling apart. You only had a bed for yourself — if you could defend it — otherwise you slept in a pile with other kids.”  
  
Jared’s expression must’ve shown his horror at these conditions, so Jensen gave him a wry smile. “The whole planet was like that, after the Saronian wars. We didn’t really know anything else. A few of the older kids ran away occasionally, it wasn’t like there was a glorious future waiting for us, and no one wanted to adopt us.”  
  
“There’s supposed to be an intergalactic adoption center,” Jared said quietly. “For situations like that.”  
  
It happened, that an isolated military altercation or a natural catastrophe brought an entire planet almost to ruin. One of the supposed advantages of having the Alliance was inter-planetary support. Supply and relief efforts, the Forces helping out the locals to clean up and rebuild, and an intergalactic adoption center to place children if there were no more capacities on their own planet. Jared wasn’t surprised the Alliance hadn’t held up this promise either.  
  
Jensen nodded. “We didn’t know that existed until a few years ago. Guess that was another one of those good press but all is a lie things the Alliance likes to pull.”  
  
They fell into silence, Jensen clearly lost to stormy thoughts about the Alliance so Jared prompted him to tell him more.  
  
“So Dani and you lived in the orphanage.”  
  
Jensen looked up sharply, like he’d forgotten for a moment Jared was there. “No, actually. She wasn’t in the orphanage. She grew up with her family, mostly. I met her when I ran away from the orphanage during a really long food shortage. Thought I’d take my chances at the markets before my teeth fell out from scurvy.”  
  
Jared involuntarily shuddered and Jensen laughed. “Yeah, not pretty. Anyway, I wasn't that good of a thief. Well, actually I sucked, but I was fast when it came to running away. The orphanage had a giant garden and we used to steal extras from the kitchen and then run like the wind if we didn’t want to get caught. Came in handy in the market places.”  
  
Jared tried to imagine a tiny, scrawny Jensen running away from a big, evil cook and failed.  
  
“Dani was better at the stealthy stuff,” Jensen continued, getting a faraway look in his eyes. “She could steal like it was no one’s business, but she was too slow, so every time she had to run away, they caught her and gave her a whipping.”  
  
Jared raised his brows in confusion. “Why didn’t they put her into the orphanage?”  
  
“She wasn't an orphan,” Jensen said quietly. “She just preferred the streets to living with her family.” Jensen’s tone indicated he was done with this part of the story and Jared understood. This wasn’t Jensen’s story to tell, it was Dani’s.  
  
Jared cleared his throat. “So you met on the streets then?”  
  
The fond twinkle in his eyes Jensen always got when he told a story involving one of Dani’s antics was back. “Yeah. I saw her running away from one of the guards and she was carrying this big loaf of bread, almost a big as her head. So I ran over there, took her hand and dragged her off to a better escape route. She offered a third of the bread as thanks, I demanded half, she punched me in the face, and we’ve been friends ever since.”  
  
Jared laughed and Jensen gave him a pleased grin.  
  
“So you saved her,” Jared stated.  
  
Jensen shook his head. “We saved each other. She became the family I never had and I became the family she always wanted.”  
  
“Were you on your own the whole time?” Jared asked, avoiding the topic of Dani’s past.  
  
With a nostalgic smile, Jensen nodded. “Nah. We found a few other kids, some from the orphanage, some from around. There were a lot of abandoned buildings in the city, so we just moved into a few of them in one of the destroyed blocks. We banded together. I mean, Dani and I still mostly worked alone. Big groups would have drawn attention, and that way, we stayed mostly out of trouble.”  
  
“Mostly?” Jared asked, but with the way Jensen was still smiling it couldn’t have been too bad.  
  
“Worst thing was a broken leg when I jumped out a window. Technically it was Dani’s fault, so she had to bring me food the whole time I was laid up.” Jensen smirked. “Good times.”  
  
“You’re evil,” Jared said with a laugh.  
  
“She was the one who made me steal her pretty dresses from the stand with the most horrifying seller ever, just because she wanted to impress her date but couldn’t leave because she had to do her hair. She also made me go pick flowers to decorate our place when she wanted to have this one girl over. I swear, as soon as Dani knew what sex was, my life got a lot harder.”  
  
Jared snorted. “Poor you. Having to play wingman for your best friend.”  
  
Jensen nodded sagely. “It was my first job. Still is, actually.”  
  
Jared leaned over to pat Jensen condescendingly on the head — it was something he did to Chad whenever he was especially whiny about plot twists in LATU — and realized only too late that he was voluntarily touching Jensen.  
  
He pulled his hand back quickly and felt heat creep up his cheeks.  
  
Jensen stared at him frozen for a moment, then he coughed slightly. “I don’t mind,” he said quietly.  
  
Jared didn’t have an answer for that, so he just got up and walked over to the sink, busying himself putting dirty dishes away. Out if the periphery of his vision he saw Jensen tense, then he stood up.  
  
“I should go,” Jensen said and his voice sounded hoarse.  
  
Jared just answered with a mute nod, and once again, Jensen left quietly.  
  
Stupid, Jared told himself, he was stupid. He let himself be lulled into this false... thing, whatever it was, where they talked like they were hanging out, like they were _friends_ or maybe even on a date and Jared didn’t want to think like that. Jensen might appear all nice and harmless now — Jared snorted at himself; just because Jensen smiled and got a soft look in his eyes didn’t really make him harmless, not with the unassuming grace he moved with, his ever watchful eyes and the strong corded muscles covering his body — but Jensen was a soldier. A killer. Jared would do well to remember that. Jensen could claim he wouldn’t harm Jared as much as he liked, Jared couldn’t trust that.  
  
So they continued to talk, and occasionally Jared let down his guard, too distracted by Jensen’s pretty face or the roughness of his voice in the morning. He was distracted by Jensen looking vulnerable in shorts and an old gray shirt he’d started sleeping in, by Jensen asking him how his day was in a soft and curious tone, even by Jensen’s bare feet, of all things.  
  
They talked, they slept and in the morning, Jared either woke up to a cup of coffee or a sleep-rumpled Jensen at his kitchen table. It was all very confusing.  
  
  
  
At least for a while, the nightmares stopped. After a few calm nights, the aftereffects of Jensen's war time were no longer stern reminders of where he'd been and what he'd done, but just an unpleasant memory to Jared. Until, a few weeks later, when a sort of hesitant truce had settled between them, Jensen screamed so loud, Jared fell almost out of the bed.  
  
It was the middle of the night, and for a second, Jared sat disoriented in his bed, no idea what was going on, then Jensen screamed again and the sound of breaking glass came from the living room. When Jared headed out there, Jensen was tossing violently, muttering “don’t kill them” and “no, no, no” over and over again. His face was a mask of agony and Jared reached out quickly to push Jensen back into unconsciousness.  
  
Jensen settled almost immediately and when his face smoothed out, Jared could see the wetness on his cheeks, remnants of tears still darkening his eyelashes. Whatever had happened out there, Jensen was crying for someone else, for _them_. Not for the first time, Jared wondered what exactly had gone down on Sulaa and what Jensen's role in it had been.  
  
Unsettled, Jared went back to bed, but it was a long time before sleep came.  
  
  
  
The next morning, Jared's usual cup of coffee was waiting for him and Jensen was sitting at the kitchen table. It was the weekend, so Jensen didn't have anywhere to be.  
  
“So, I guess I had another nightmare,” Jensen said slowly, voice tight.  
  
Jared nodded.  
  
Jensen’s jaw clenched. “Sorry about that.”  
  
“You wanna talk about it?” Jared asked after a short pause, curiosity finally winning out.  
  
Jensen shot him a surprised look. “No, not really.”  
  
“I hear it helps.”  
  
Jensen snorted. Jared hadn’t thought a person could put so much condescending dismissiveness into one sound.  
  
“Besides, it’s not like I don't know what you did.”  
  
With a clang, Jensen slammed his coffee cup down on the table. “You have no idea what I did,” he said coldly.  
  
Jared knew that right now, he could still walk away from this conversation. He wasn’t even sure why he was pushing this so hard. But Jensen was here, in his apartment, every three days, sleeping on Jared’s couch, looking all handsome and vulnerable while he was sleeping, making him delicious coffee in the morning and being nice to Jared no matter how terse or snappish Jared was. He needed to know.  
  
“You killed a bunch of people,” Jared said. He wondered if Jensen cried for all of them in his nightmares.  
  
Lightning fast, Jensen’s head whipped around. His nostrils flared and his whole body tense up.  
  
“The Forces ordered you to kill and you did.” Jared shrugged his shoulders, trying to appear nonchalant, while his heart was hammering away in his chest.  
  
“It wasn’t…” Jensen cut himself off and his whole body deflated. “It wasn’t supposed to be like that,” he said quietly.  
  
“When is war not killing people?” Jared asked disbelievingly. Could Jensen really be so naïve?  
  
Jensen gave him a self-deprecating smile. “When Dani and I were recruited, there was no war. Just the promise of not going to jail, getting trained to survive better and go on a few peacekeeping missions. You know, escorting delegates, helping out during natural catastrophes, smoking out a violent warlord, that kind of thing. Maybe hunt down a few space pirates, not that there are a lot of these still around, or get sent out to a few border skirmishes, but even that’s nothing more than showing off the guns. We thought we’d do that for a while, earn some money, and then go off on our own again.”  
  
Jensen paused, looking at Jared with a wry grin that didn’t reach his eyes. “Then the war started and we just — we didn’t think about it. And besides, we were still saving people, right? The rebels were killing innocent people during their attacks, they had to be stopped. We just ignored that not everybody who joined the rebels was a stone cold killer and that most of them hadn’t deserved to die. Somewhere along the line, we just stopped questioning stuff. We got complacent.”  
  
“That’s no excuse,” Jared said.  
  
Jensen made a throwaway hand motion. “I know. We fucked up. So I pay the price.”  
  
Jared felt his eyebrows raise in surprise. “And Dani doesn’t?”  
  
Jensen instantly shook his head. “She didn’t. She wasn’t the one… _I_ talked to our superiors, _I_ should’ve realized — look, she didn’t mess up, I did.”  
  
Now Jared was entirely confused. “I have no idea what you mean.”  
  
“Doesn’t matter,” Jensen said, got up and turned away from Jared.  
  
He picked up his jacket and made his way to the door. When he opened the door, he turned back to look at Jared. “Dani is a good person. She doesn’t know about everything that happened out there. I’d like to keep it that way.”  
  
Jared sucked in a sharp breath. Was Jensen talking about the young enhanced? Chad had told Jared about the other, more successful government experiments, kids that weren’t older than sixteen when the rebels had freed them from the labs and recruited them for their cause. The Forces had terminated them during the war. Did Dani not know that? Or was Jensen talking about other people, civilians maybe? A wayward bomb or an attack on a wrong target?  
  
If Dani didn’t know about whatever Jensen meant, had Jensen done this horrible thing alone? But that was impossible. Unless…  
  
“You didn’t kill them,” Jared stated.  
  
Jensen let out a hollow chuckle. “Just because I didn’t pull the trigger doesn’t mean it’s not my fault. I know I can’t ask anything else of you, but please, don’t mention this to Dani. Any of it.”  
  
Mechanically Jared shook his head. Jensen gave him a short smile and a nod, then he was out the door, leaving Jared utterly confused. If Jensen hadn’t killed them, then what did he mean? Jared didn’t know, but one thing was painstakingly clear: he’d judged Jensen way too harshly. Shame burned in his belly and Jared wondered why he had wanted to believe so badly that Jensen was a bad person. He had a feeling he might not like the answer, so he turned on the screen to distract himself. LATU reruns were just what he needed.  
  
  
  
Jensen missed the next date because of an attack in the mines. Jared didn't know the details, Jensen just called him five minutes before he was supposed to show up and told him he had to skip that night. His voice sounded strained and a woman was bitching her heart out in the background.  
  
When Jared could hear a “damned fucking infinity, are you trying to rip my arm off completely”, Jensen apologized and hung up. So Jared called Chad and asked him if he wanted to hang out. Surprisingly, Chad wasn't busy with more LATU reruns and agreed they should go out.  
  
They went to their favorite bar, met up with a few of their friends and just relaxed and had a few drinks. The bar was the smallest on Wora and it was an unspoken rule that companions went there if they wanted a night off, so Jared knew he could relax.  
  
Halfway into the evening, Aldis showed up. He was an engineer in the mines and one of their oldest friends. Jared hadn't seen him in a while and they started catching up. Aldis was weirdly evasive, and he shot Jared scrutinizing looks the whole evening.  
  
“Is something wrong?” Jared finally asked. “You keep looking at me like I've grown a second head.”  
  
Aldis laughed slightly embarrassed. “Well, it's just – and I know you don't like to talk shop – but a few weeks ago, two new soldiers moved in with me, I think I told you?”  
  
Of fucking course. Jared forced his face into a neutral expression. “Yeah, you said they're okay.”  
  
Aldis nodded. “Yeah, totally. I mean, Dani's awesome, and smoking hot, I swear. Totally chill too, so whenever we want to blow off some steam, you know.”  
  
“That's great.” Jared said and meant it.  
  
Aldis came from a planet that prohibited any forms of prostitution and companionship and even out here, Aldis still abided by those customs.  
  
Chad leaned over to them curiously, halting his conversation with Traci. “Wait, you and the hot redhead?”  
  
“It's nothing serious,” Aldis explained. “Just having some fun. She's not looking for a relationship and I'm out of here soon anyway.” He turned back to Jared. “What I actually wanted to talk about is Jensen.”  
  
Jared felt himself tense and Aldis must have see it, because his expression turned apologetic.  
  
“I know, I know,” Aldis said soothingly. “No client talk. It’s just… you guys spend a lot of time together.”  
  
Shrugging, Jared reached for his drink, trying to buy some time. “He’s a good client,” he settled on saying.  
  
Aldis nodded, opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. “I know about your reputation,” he finally said. The words were choppy, and he was clearly uncomfortable talking about it. “I don't want to overstep,” he continued, “but Jensen, he seems better now that he’s with you. I just don’t want anyone getting hurt, you know.”  
  
“Jeez, it’s just sex, Aldis,” Jared snapped.  
  
Aldis reared back, then his face softened. “Sorry. I didn’t know you were—” He waved his hand around awkwardly.  
  
It took Jared a few seconds to understand that Aldis thought that not only was Jensen interested in Jared romantically, Jared returned this interest.  
  
Jared sputtered indignantly — really, Jensen was a giant douche, handsome maybe, but still a sarcastic blackmailer with more baggage than a Loranian space entourage, Jared might fantasize about him, sure, but he would never — but Aldis just smiled.  
  
“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna say anything. And I know your situation probably sucks, but why don’t you ask the Colonel for an exclusive contract?”  
  
“Why don’t — wait, what?”  
  
Exclusive contract? What the fuck was Aldis talking about?  
  
“Yeah.” Aldis scrunched up his face, clearly trying to remember something. “It was a while before you and Chad came here, one of the scouts in the mine fell in love with a companion. The scout did such a good job, she bartered with JD to let the companion out of her obligations to everyone else so they could be exclusive. There was some grumbling, but people accepted it. I mean, everyone here is a closeted romantic anyway, so, you know. You could try.”  
  
Jared’s knee jerk reaction was to say “infinity, no!” and tell Aldis to mind his own business. He wouldn’t give up the extra income from people paying cash just to spend even more time with Jensen, depend on him even. Jensen was a giant pain in Jared’s ass, putting him on edge most time he was in the apartment. The only comfort was that Jensen knew about him and Jared didn’t have to put on a facade with him.  
  
Jared pulled a face. Just yesterday, he had needed to engage in fifteen minutes of thinly hidden innuendos of inane small talk before Captain Huffman had finally moved to the bed. And that was only after Jared had convinced her that no, she couldn’t ride him in the bathtub. He’d claimed it was broken, but the thought of getting her in there, and keeping her upright so she wouldn’t drown during the fantasy — just no.  
  
He’d gotten used to all the lying, but sometimes there was a lot of talking to be done before they got to the actual fantasy, and occasionally Jared had to come up with elaborate excuses why they couldn’t fuck in the hot tub or in a hidden alleyway. Over the two years he’d been here, there had been a few moments where he just narrowly avoided people becoming suspicious of him.  
  
“Just think about it,” Aldis said, pulling Jared out of his thoughts. “Just you and Jensen, no one else. I think that could be good for you guys.”  
  
Jared stared at Aldis in amazement, wheels turning in his mind. An exclusive contract with Jensen, who he didn’t need to lie to. Sure, Jared might have gotten used to the deception and the games, but it wasn’t like he _liked_ lying to his clients. It was always dangerous, the risk of discovery hanging over his head, and it was just plain wrong. Yes, he gave them the best sex they ever had, but Jared still pretended with them, put on a show and lied to their faces. Sometimes, he was able to ignore it, tried to tell himself he was doing a good thing here, but the undercurrent of guilt was always there.  
  
“You really think the Colonel would allow it?” Jared asked, not wanting to get his hopes up for nothing.  
  
He might have to quit his extra money, but if that meant he’d only have to deal with Jensen, he might be able to deal with it. Especially since Tahmoh was still shooting Jared these looks whenever he saw him. Jared had explained he was committed to someone else but his unwillingness to give a name had Tahmoh suspicious. Getting an exclusive agreement might be what Jared needed to make him back off. But there was still Jensen himself and how Jared felt whenever he was around. He’d make himself so dependent on Jensen, he didn’t know if it was safe to risk that.  
  
Aldis nodded. “I think so. I mean, I only hear good things about Dani and Jensen. Remember how they saved the city from the giant manticore a while back? And the Colonel knows them from his military days. It might raise some hackles, but let’s be honest here, if he says it’s okay, people will have to suck it up.”  
  
Jared thought again about Tahmoh, thought about all the other people he lied to, and then thought about spending more time with Jensen. The nightmares would suck and having someone over maybe every night — no. Then again, there would be delicious coffee every morning. And despite the blackmail, and Jensen’s past in the military, Jared had gotten used to his presence. He couldn’t really believe he was considering that, but exclusive service with Jensen might not actually be the worst thing. Fuck. He needed to talk to Chad.  
  
Chad was still talking to Traci, but when he looked up, Jared shot him a look he knew his best friend would understand. Chad acknowledged him with a little nod and Jared knew, they’d walk home together tonight.  
  
  
  
“So, let me get this straight.” Chad had abandoned his comm-pad a while ago and the television was on mute. “Aldis thinks you could persuade the Colonel to give you an exclusive contract with Ackles because the two of you are so in love and you are considering it, because then you wouldn’t have to lie to everyone anymore.”  
  
“That’s crazy, right?” Jared dragged a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know why I’m even considering it, it’s stupid.”  
  
“What?” Chad shook his head frantically. “No, it’s not stupid. It’s _brilliant_.”  
  
“But — no!”  
  
Chad leaned back and crossed his arms. “Why not?”  
  
“Because!” Jared stood up and started pacing through Chad’s apartment. The cleaning crew must’ve come through recently because Jared could walk without tripping over any trash on the floor.  
  
“You want a list? Okay, I’ll give you the list.” Jared started counting on his fingers. “Jensen is a killer.”  
  
Chad raised an unimpressed eyebrow. Okay, so Jared had told him that he didn’t believe Jensen had been personally involved in the worst slaughter during the war and that he was genuinely sorry for everything he’d done, but still.  
  
“He killed people, period. Something like that changes people. He threatened to blackmail me. Which yes, he took that back,” Jared tacked on before Chad could protest, “but technically he could still rat me out. He knows what I am, okay.”  
  
“Do you really think he would?” Chad asked. “He’s known for months now. He could’ve sold you out ages ago and already be rich and gone from this deathtrap and yet he’s still happily prancing through the mines, volunteering to fly suicide missions.”  
  
“He doesn’t know if he can get medical help for his problem,” Jared said and even he knew the argument sounded weak.  
  
Chad snorted. “With that kind of money, you can buy a new brain.”  
  
“So even if I could trust him,” Jared said frustrated, “I still don’t like him.”  
  
Chad raised an eyebrow and said nothing.  
  
“I don’t.”  
  
Chad raised both eyebrows. Jared glared.  
  
Slowly, Chad lifted his left hand, index finger raised, and started tipping off points with his right hand. “He’s hot. He makes a damn good coffee. He’s nice. He tells interesting stories. He listens to every stupid thing you say. The amount of time you spend bitching about him and the actually nice things he says or does, is frankly astounding. He’s strong and almost invincible, which means he can protect you from anyone that'll ever come after you. Never mind the fact you never get assaulted with the contents of his mind, and at least in your limited experience he’s some kind of sex god.” Chad paused. “Tell me again why you don’t like him?”  
  
Defiantly, Jared raised his own fingers to count. “He’s a killer. Used to be a thief. He’s psychologically damaged, has violent nightmares and the biggest guilt trip in history. He’s a blackmailing ass, who’ll put survival first. He’ll always be loyal to Dani first and he’s a reckless thrill seeker.”  
  
“So in summary,” Chad said, triumphant gleam in his eyes, “he’s a very loyal, very daring survivor with a conscience and a strong moral compass. Congrats, Jay, you hit the jackpot.”  
  
“This is not a fucking soap opera!” Jared blurted out.  
  
Chad shook his head mildly. “No, of course not. If it were, we’d already have fended off two assassins, I’d have lost an arm to a creeper and the Colonel would be pressuring me for sexual favors, while you were developing a drug addiction to cope with the stress.”  
  
“That… was weirdly specific.”  
  
“All plot lines on LATU.”  
  
Jared rolled his eyes. “Of course. Now, can we focus.”  
  
“I thought we just solved your problem,” Chad deadpanned. “Besides. You’re the one who told me that Tahmoh is still getting on your nerves. You’d be rid of him in a heartbeat.”  
  
“I know... And no more excuses why I can’t fuck someone in the hot tub.”  
  
Chad made a pensive face. “There’s that. I mean, you won’t have to lie to anyone and there’ll be no more risk of discovery. If you really think about it, it’s a miracle you pulled it off this long.”  
  
Jared walked over to Chad and let himself fall down onto the soft sofa. “I know. But I won’t get any extra money out of it anymore.”  
  
“We’ll have enough money.” Chad was calm, but he was looking away from Jared.  
  
Jared took a deep breath. “What did you do?”  
  
“Nothing!” Chad looked at him with big eyes, then he made a face. “Well, nothing I didn’t do before. I just.. wrote a few programs, cracked a few security protocols. It pays well, okay?”  
  
“If someone finds out....”  
  
“Alexis facilitates the whole thing, no one knows it’s me. She says hi, by the way. She and Milo bought a planet in the Abogad system. Very forestry, lots of room to grow their own fruits. Milo is in heaven and Alexis has a giant satellite dish to continue with her work.”  
  
“Awesome.” Jared hesitated. “About Jensen…”  
  
Chad turned to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know you’re scared. And I know Jensen is maybe not the perfect guy and it might not work out, whatever starts happening between the two of you. But dude, life’s too short. We’ll be out of here in a few years anyway. Live a little until then, okay?”  
  
Jared leaned back into the cushions.  
  
“I’m just asking him for an exclusive contract, not to start a relationship. That’d be a disaster. Besides, I don’t even know if he’d be interested.”  
  
Chad patted him on the head and then unmuted the television. “You rely too much on your mind reading thing, otherwise you’d have picked up the clues long ago.”  
  
Jared thought Chad was probably just seeing what he wanted, which was a soap plot line everywhere he looked, but he let it go. There’d be no convincing Chad otherwise and Jared was too drained to argue.  
  
He’d be spending more time with Jensen, that would be exhausting enough.  
  
“I’ll see him in two days. I guess I’m gonna talk to him then.”  
  
  
  


 

 

  
  
  
  
“You heading over to Jared’s directly?” Dani asked.  
  
She was half dressed, rubbing her long hair dry with a towel. They were standing in the tiled locker rooms of the mines, packing up after showering the dust off their bodies. Jensen stepped into his boots and threw her her top that had somehow gotten tangled up in his jacket.  
  
“No, I’ll see him tomorrow,” he said, checking his locker for anything he might have forgotten.  
  
From the other side of the locker room, Cassidy whistled. She was already dressed in her casual clothes, soft billowy pants, and a tight long-sleeved shirt decorated with ornaments in her home planet's tradition. While they were on first name basis with the rest of the team, Cassidy had made it clear that her first name was off limits. She came from a very remote system somewhere off the regular trade routes and her people believed in the sanctity of names. Apparently, a first name was only fit for family and friends. Depending on the closeness of relationship, some people like parents or spouses were even allowed to speak the second or third names whereas the fourth name was only to be uttered out loud during birth and death ceremonials.  
  
“You've been seeing Jared an awful lot,” she remarked with a smirk.  
  
Jensen prepared himself for the needling that was sure to come.  
  
“Are you crushing on Jared, Ackles, is that it?”  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes and slammed his locker shut. “Where are we, in kindergarten? I like him. I like to spend time with him.”  
  
Cassidy pursed her lips. “Sure, sure. It's just... Jared's very popular. Usually he's very good at navigating whom he spends time with and he rarely shows favoritism. Now, with you, that's entirely different.”  
  
Behind them, Dani started whistling the melody of a well-known love song.  
  
“Not helping,” Jensen hissed at her, too quiet for Cassidy to understand.  
  
Dani just laughed and Cassidy raised her sharp eyebrows.  
  
“It's Jared's decision who he spends time with,” Jensen said, putting hard finality in his words. “Someone doesn't like it, they have to take it up with him.”  
  
From the way Cassidy was grinning, Jensen was pretty sure she was coming to the wrong conclusions about his defense. When he heard her and Dani pick up the melody of _Stargazing With You_ again, he knew it was a lost cause. Oh well. If people thinking he had a crush on Jared meant he'd get to visit him in peace, he'd take it.  
  
  
  
When they were sharing a pipe in the backyard that night, Dani nudged his shoulder.  
  
“Maybe you should play up your crush, be all sad about it, so people are tactful and leave you alone.”  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes. “I'm finally getting enough sleep and feeling better. I'm not gonna spend my time pretending to be sad. People can just mind their own fucking business.”  
  
“Hmmm.” Dani fell quiet.  
  
In silence, they watched the green slopes of the mountains in the diffuse light. A flock of little flying creepers landed in the treetops only to startle up a few moments later. Just like all the other animals on this planet, they didn't make a noise, the only sound their rustling wings.  
  
Jared had told Jensen that someone had brought a few chirping birds to the city and set them free in one of the little parks. They were still there and sometimes Jared went out to listen to them, like he was really somewhere else, not in this quiet and desolate world filled with death.  
  
Jensen hadn’t said that the quiet and the absence of brightness were what actually helped him get through his days intact, but he had agreed with Jared that the creepers’ silence was disconcerting.  
  
“What’s so funny?” Dani asked suddenly.  
  
“What? Nothing.”  
  
She raised her eyebrows. “Then why are you smiling?”  
  
Realizing his lips had indeed pulled apart in a smile, Jensen smoothed out his facial muscles. “No smiling.”  
  
Once again, silence fell between them.  
  
“So,” Dani said a while later, spectacularly failing at trying to appear casual.  
  
Jensen could practically feel her vibrating in her seat with unspoken curiosity. Well, it had been at least two weeks since she last asked him about Jared, she practically deserved a medal.  
  
“How are things going with the sleeping?”  
  
He debated on whether he'd let her muddle through this, trying to goad him into mentioning Jared and while it would be fun, right now he didn't have the energy for it.  
  
“It's okay. I have less nightmares when I sleep at his place, but they’re not entirely gone. We had a little argument last week, but now we're okay.”  
  
“Argument?” Dani asked sharply.  
  
Jensen shrugged. “He doesn't approve of my military past. Now, we just avoid talking about anything that has to do with war, military or politics. It kinda works.”  
  
“So you do have stuff to talk about!” Dani's eyes glinted in triumph and Jensen wanted to hit himself. Stupid. Dani always won.  
  
“Yes, we talk occasionally,” he admitted. Not like she'd let him off the hook now.  
  
“So, gimme details. C'mon, Jensen, I'm not too old to start a tickle war and you know I always win those.”  
  
Unfortunately, she was right. Jensen didn't have many ticklish spots, but Dani knew all of them without fail.  
  
“I don't know, Dani, stuff. How I know to make coffee. The people here. The work. TV shows. Things we miss and JD should work on importing. Just... normal stuff.”  
  
Dani raised one eyebrow and clicked her nails on the armrest.  
  
“It’s really just mundane shit,” Jensen said. “What do you think we talk about? Quantum physics?”  
  
“How about your feelings for him?” Dani asked sardonically. “The giant crush you have on him.”  
  
“I don't have a crush,” Jensen said tersely.  
  
“I call bullshit.”  
  
They sat in silence and Jensen knew she wouldn't let it go. Not unless he showed her he was really pissed and that'd be as good as admitting she was right. Which she wasn't. Not entirely.  
  
“Look, I like him,” Jensen finally said exhaustedly. “He's smart, he can argue, and he doesn't take shit. He's strong and brave, even when I threatened to sell him out he wouldn't back down. Didn't want to show that he was scared, still insulted me.”  
  
“I like him already,” Dani threw in.  
  
Jensen looked at her. “So I like him. But I don't have a crush.”  
  
Dani pursed her lips. “He’s pretty, too,” she said slowly.  
  
Jensen knew that Jared was very attractive. It didn’t matter if he came fresh out of the shower, damp hair still curling up around his neck or if he just got up in the morning, head looking like a bird’s nest. He was beautiful. Jensen’s favorite moments were when Jared gave him one of his blinding smiles, which were so rare in Jensen’s presence. He occasionally got a grin or a smirk with one dimple, but he didn’t count it as a victory until Jared flashed him both of his dimples, smile making his eyes almost sparkle and whole face light up.  
  
“That look right there,” Dani stabbed her finger at him, “that right there means you think he’s pretty too.”  
  
“I’m not blind, Dani,” Jensen said curtly.  
  
She nodded, absently twirling one of her long locks. “I might have to make an appointment with him. See if he’s pretty all over.”  
  
“He doesn’t sleep with people,” Jensen growled out and he realized too late the tone he’d taken.  
  
Dani gave him a benevolent smile and reached over to pat his head. “If I weren’t so happy for you, I’d be offended you didn’t want to trust me with this.”  
  
“I don’t even know what _this_ is.”  
  
“Oh, please.”  
  
“Even if I knew, it wouldn’t make a difference,” Jensen said with more anger in his voice he wanted to hear. “He barely tolerates me and I don’t think that’ll ever change.”  
  
Dani got up, only to sit down on Jensen’s chair with him, curling herself into a ball and tucking her body against his side.  
  
“He can’t love you if you still hate yourself.”  
  
Jensen wanted to reply that she did just fine, but then the strange wording of the sentence made him halt.  
  
“Please don’t tell me that was a quote from that inane Starwood show.”  
  
With a groan, Dani dropped her head on his shoulder. “I can’t help it. I watched like half an episode while I was with Aldis, and I swear, I just needed to know if Winde—”  
  
Jensen clapped a hand over her mouth. “If you finish that sentence, I’ll have to throw you off the chair.”  
  
She stayed silent, so Jensen took his hand away. For a while, they just continued to sit like that, like they had so many times in the streets of Ferasion.  
  
“They’re really hot though,” Dani whispered after a while. “You should watch, I think Samwi would be exactly your type.”  
  
Jensen pulled her hair and then threw her off the chair.

 

 

 

 


	7. Part Six

 

  
  


 

 

 

  
  
Trying to fall asleep was hard. There was the comfortable position one had to find, — seriously, did a pillow ever behave like it was supposed to? — there were weird noises disrupting the peaceful silence, and occasionally the motion sensors outside the wall would spring to light and small slivers of light would shine through the tiny gap between the wall and the shutters.  
  
The past few weeks Jensen had gotten so used to the luxury of Jared just pushing him into sleep every night, it hadn’t mattered.  
  
Of all the things in the universe, having Jared propose an exclusive agreement had never even made the list of probably improbable possibilities. It was exactly what Jared had done.  
  
Jensen had been so surprised, he’d just gaped at Jared. He knew that Jared had warmed to him slowly, and that something after their conversation about Jensen’s past had changed, something he tried not to think about too hard, but he’d never thought it was even in the realm of possibilities.  
  
Jared had huffed in frustration. “I thought you’d like this. Good sleep and all that every night.” Jared had waved his hands around angrily.  
  
“I do like the idea,” Jensen had said slowly, still convinced he’d fallen into an alternate reality. “I’m just not sure why _you_ would like this.”  
  
That had earned him another glare and a curt “none of your business” though Jensen had his suspicions. He already knew Jared wasn’t too keen on seeing all the kinky and weird shit people wanted to get up to that might not be to his own taste, and if there was one thing that Jensen had learned about Jared, it was that he valued honesty.  
  
Jensen was under no illusions that one of the reasons Jared talked to him was because Jensen knew his secret. Jared might have come to like Jensen, might enjoy his coffee and shoot him the occasional appreciative glance when he was changing his clothes — and Jensen was ashamed to admit it was one of the reasons he didn’t always go to the bathroom before he pulled off his shirt — but in the end, the basis of it all was that Jared didn’t really have other options to choose from.  
  
Keeping his past and his enhancement a secret was obviously weighing on Jared. He was good friends with Chad, one of the IT crowd, but otherwise he didn’t seem to have close friends, just loose acquaintances. Considering how social Jared seemed, how he occasionally even touched Jensen despite being always embarrassed by it afterward, he clearly didn’t enjoy the isolation his abilities forced on him. He might try to be blasé about it, but he didn’t enjoy the lying and the deceit either. He was just too good of a person for it. But if Jared didn’t want to talk to Jensen about it, he would accept that and just swallow down the sting of rejection that had made him feel.  
  
Now, a week later in the quiet of his own bedroom, Jensen had to admit to himself that he’d been more hurt than he’d liked. He thought he and Jared were getting somewhere, a tentative truce that allowed them casual conversation, even one or two smiles thrown in there. Not that he had any right to any of it. Jensen knew he was fucked up and Jared deserved better. Allowing himself to have feelings or even act on them, it was out of the question. Jensen had just hoped that maybe they could become something like friends. That would be enough. Had to be enough. And if he thought of burying his hand in a mop of shiny brown hair every time he jerked off, well, fortunately they were his thoughts alone.  
  
The falling asleep part still sucked. Tonight was the first time he spent at his place after five days, because Jared had finally flipped out and thrown him out.  
  
“I need one night, just one night, Jensen, where I’m alone in my own fucking apartment.” Jared had positively glared at Jensen, eyes sparkling with annoyance, fists clenched at his sides and Jensen had left without pointing out that technically, this had all been Jared’s idea.  
  
He finally fell asleep, and when he woke up in the morning, he had lingering pictures of a bright smile in a pretty face framed by brown hair. There was nothing of the usual horror, the dread deep in his bones greeting him every morning after a night filled with nightmares, just a faint yearning for something beautiful. Jensen wasn’t sure he didn’t prefer the nightmares.  
  
  
  
Life continued. He spent maybe eight out of ten days a week sleeping at Jared’s. When Jared had accompanied Jensen to the control tower at the mines, JD had raised his eyebrows at their request, but Jared had seemed honestly enthusiastic — Jensen had only really realized then what a great actor Jared was and it made his gut clench when he thought back to his first meeting with Jared, making him wonder how much of a show Jared had put on back then, maybe still did to keep the peace.  
  
Jensen had told JD that he’d never slept as well as he did now with Jared, which wasn't even a lie and as close as he could come admitting his problems to JD, but JD was a soldier. He could guess what Jensen meant, and no further words were needed. Even if he hadn’t been sold then, Dani surprised Jensen by barging in on their conversation, declaring to nominally spend her tokens on Jared as well to balance things out.  
  
“It’s not like I need them,” she'd tacked on with a wink.  
  
She still spend a lot of nights with Aldis and in a haze of purple drinks, Alona had apparently finally caved. Jensen was pretty sure Aldis’ involvement had tipped the scales in Dani’s favor, making Alona realize Dani was not only a big mouthed flirt, and the three of them seemed to be getting along well, in any kind of constellation.  
  
JD had laughed and told Dani to keep her tokens, if she didn’t want to spend them, that was her business.  
  
“It’s gonna raise some brows,” JD had continued, “and I don’t do this often. Especially if someone is a popular as Jared. But Jensen, you do very good work. Without you and Dani the wall would’ve crumbled during the manticore attack and Rob has never pulled that many gates up in that short a time. Without losing a single member of your team. I need you sharp, Jensen.”  
  
JD turned to Jared and winked at him. “Make sure Jensen here gets enough sleep, will you.”  
  
Jared had nodded guilelessly. “Will do, Colonel.”  
  
JD had snorted, rolled his eyes at them and left. They’d watched him go and meet up with Doctor Rhodes outside. They stood close together, and Rhodes gave him a soft smile that Jensen hadn’t ever seen on her face before. When he saw her in the tower she was either all business and engaged in snarky banter with Dani.  
  
“So that’s why she won’t go out with me!” Dani had exclaimed.  
  
Jared had looked at them in confusion. “You didn’t know? They’ve been a thing since basically forever.”  
  
Slackjawed, Dani had stared at Jared and Jensen had started laughing.  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dani had asked Jared while she’d elbowed Jensen in the side.  
  
Jared had given her a shit eating grin. “Nope. He’s been after her since the day she got here, I think, but she made him work for it. Something about professional integrity and sleeping with her boss or something. I still don’t actually know if they are sleeping together, but they behave like an old married couple.”  
  
Shaking her head, Dani had left, still muttering about evil people playing with her tender heart.  
  
“You think she’ll survive?” Jared had asked dryly.  
  
“At this point it’s a toss-up, I think,” Jensen had replied and then they’d both broken out in laughter.  
  
It had only lasted for a few seconds, but moments like these were the ones devastating his resolve not to let himself develop feelings for Jared. Or well, deeper feelings, if he was honest with himself. He knew he’d long passed the stage of ‘developing’.  
  
  
  
Jensen hid his growing feelings for Jared from everyone, even Dani, though his friend was watching him carefully. She probably knew what was going on, but gave Jensen space. They knew each other too well to ask questions with answers that really hurt.  
  
He still spent the occasional night at his own apartment, both to give Jared his peace and gain some distance himself. It started feeling too much like he was living with Jared, like they were actually in a relationship. The episode at the grocery store really drove that point home. Jared had sent him a message, telling him he was out of coffee and fruit salad, if Jensen could please pick something up at the store.  
  
Jared liked a very specific mix of fruits and when Jensen asked the girl behind the counter to make Jared’s usual, she gave him a slightly scolding smile.  
  
“It’s not that hard to remember,” she said. “Just do it in colors: one hundred gram of the small red ones, two hundred gram of the big red ones, one hundred gram of the small blue ones, two hundred gram of the big green ones—”  
  
“One hundred grams of the yellow ones and then put it all together and it’s seven hundred grams of the lingo seeds,” Jensen finished for her.  
  
He knew how Jared liked his fruits, but so did she, so why should he rattle off the whole mixture? It only occurred to him when she beamed at him that she thought as an attentive lover, these were things he was supposed to know. Right. Because of their exclusive agreement, everybody thought they were madly in love, and wasn’t that just romantic. At least her reaction was better than the glares he’d gotten from some of Jared’s former clients. One guy in particular just wouldn’t quit giving Jensen the stink eye.  
  
It didn't matter though, especially when Jared told Jensen he’d wanted to quit seeing that guy anyway because he was getting too attached. Jealousy had reared its ugly head and Jensen had been ashamed of the nasty satisfaction that had spread through him at hearing that Jared didn’t want a guy who’d clearly wanted him.  
  
“Is that all?”  
  
He looked up to see the shop girl looking at him expectantly. He coughed apologetically and nodded; she just gave him an indulgent smile and ran up his total. Jensen smiled back at her, paid and left. If he’d met Jared at a different time, a different life — but it was pointless thinking about it. Even if Jensen didn’t have the past he did, there was no guarantee Jared would ever be interested in him romantically. Sometimes, he caught a look from Jared, a look he wasn’t meant to see, and for a short moment, Jensen let himself wonder.  
  
He’d never really had the desire for big romance, being in a steady relationship — living with Jared now, it had changed that. He wasn’t sure what it was, that Jared thought he saw in him. Maybe it was the silence of Jensen’s mind, the peace when Jared touched him. Maybe it was based on pure physicality; Jensen was aware people considered him attractive. Whatever it was, sadly it was a logical progression Jared would show interest in Jensen. He was the first person he ever met whose mind he couldn’t read. If there was a pool of one to pick from, it meant nothing getting picked.  
  
With a feeling of bleak heaviness in his heart, Jensen walked the short distance back to Jared’s apartment. Going home to him, giving him the bag of groceries and getting a soft smile as a combined ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ in return felt like the most domestic thing he’d ever done. It surprised him how much he liked it.  
  
  
  
They moved on to a new quadrant to start a new series of gates. The big entrance gate 21 was located at the deepest point of the mountain. It was mostly unexplored and the scouts had made promising reports about Annium levels, so the crew moved to the edge of the mine. Of course, that was when everything went to shit.  
  
A hydra was roaming the tunnels far off to their left, so Cassidy was monitoring it closely. It was too far away to pose a real threat, but the fuckers could move fast. Her focus on the hydra was the only reason she missed the other creeper until it was too late.  
  
“Guys!” Cassidy’s voice was sharp in the high tunnel Rob had chosen to set up a gate.  
  
Dani, Alona and Idris immediately jogged over while Jensen stayed perched on his outlook. At the end of the tunnel, a big cave opened. It had formed as a water pocket which had long shrunken into a small wet puddle at the bottom of the cave, but Jensen still had a bulbous shaped cave to watch, with several tunnels branching away from it, some hidden under large stone ledges.  
  
Their tunnel met the cave very high up so Jensen could looked out over the whole cave while the team gathered around Cassidy’s monitor, speaking in worried tones.  
  
“What the fuck is that?” Dani asked, but instead of a grim answer that she usually got, there was silence.  
  
Then—  
  
“No idea.” That was Cassidy again. “I’ve never seen anything like this. Captain?”  
  
“No,” Idris growled. “It moves too slowly for any of the creepers usually bothering us here.”  
  
“Do a dimensional thermo scan,” Alona said. “Let’s see what this thing looks like.”  
  
Cassidy hit a few buttons, then there was a moment of silence again.  
  
“Is that a hydra?” Dani asked, her voice doubtful.  
  
“No,” Idris answered, voice tight. “I’ve never seen this thing before, but there’s only one kind of creeper it can be. There aren’t any records, the things wiped out the other mine completely, but we know they are poisonous and the venom can dissolve metal. Rhodes named them Chimera.”  
  
“You think that’s one of the creepers who took out the other mine?” Alona’s voice was worried. “They were supposed to be on the other side of the mountain.”  
  
“Maybe the activity here drew them closer,” Cassidy suggested. “Or we’ve come far enough into their territory.  
  
“Why ever it’s here, it doesn’t matter,” Idris said. “We need to evacuate now and blow up the whole tunnel. That thing won’t be held back by gates, let’s hope it’ll be deterred by a heap of crumbled mountain.”  
  
Jensen scanned the cave one more time, then he left his perch. Idris was right, they had to fall back.  
  
“Erm, guys?” Rob said tentatively. “Not to rain on your parade or anything, but we can’t blow up the tunnel here. I picked this part because it’s stable enough to anchor the gate, but if we take down enough stone to block the corridor, we could trigger an incalculable chain reaction.”  
  
“Then we find another place to blow up,” Idris barked.  
  
“The cave’s too big,” Jensen said, “and to get the stuff down there would take too long. Wherever we do it, we have to fall back.”  
  
Speight was already busy at Cassidy's equipment, scanning the stone structures around them.  
  
“You guys picked a crappy part of the mountain for some explosive action,” he muttered. “The whole stretch above us is solid stone.” He looked up sharply. “Why do you think we follow natural tunnels? The top of the mountain is too dense, especially around here.”  
  
“Speight!” Idris cut him off sharply. “Just tell us where we need to go.”  
  
“And do it fast,” Cassidy said. “It’s coming right at us.”  
  
“What’s the ETA?” Dani asked.  
  
“Five minutes maybe. If it doesn’t pick up it’s pace, that is.”  
  
“Found something!” Speight exclaimed with a fist pump. “But you’re gonna have to buy me some time.”  
  
“Nothing will work,” Idris said. “But we can’t let that thing advance closer to our territory. Cohen and Perkins, you take the glider with Rob and Cassidy, get out of here. We’ll do what we can.”  
  
They’d die. Jensen remembered Rhodes telling them about the destruction the chimera had caused in the other mine, destroyed it completely. His heartbeat picked up and his vision sharpened, focusing on everything around him in rapid succession. His brain processed the information automatically and the heightened vigilance gave him the option of running all the different scenarios this could go through his mind. In the end, there was only one plan that made sense.  
  
“Where’s the hydra?” he asked.  
  
Five heads turned to him.  
  
After a beat, Dani said, “No. I know what you’re thinking, and no.”  
  
“It worked before,” Jensen argued.  
  
“Yeah, with humans!”  
  
“Would someone mind clueing me in?” Idris asked.  
  
Dani sighed exasperatedly, tearing at her hair. “Jensen wants to lure the hydra here, so it can fight the other one.” She turned to Jensen. “I know that’s what we did on Ferasion when we got in trouble with another street gang, but this new creeper isn’t a bunch of hungry, angry teenagers and a hydra is not the city police!”  
  
“It’s still our best shot,” Jensen said calmly.  
  
“Fucking infinity!” Dani burst out and Jensen knew she knew he was right. “Alright, fine, let’s go hunt that fucking hydra down.”  
  
Jensen shook his head. “We can’t both go, someone needs to stay with the group.”  
  
“We’re perfectly capable of defending ourselves, thank you,” Alona snapped.  
  
Dani raised a pointed eyebrow. “Against _that_? No one is.” Her expression softened. “He’s right. He’ll stay with you, help you guys set up the explosives. I’ll get the hydra.”  
  
Jensen saw the affection pass between them and he hated he’d been so taken up in his own crap he hadn’t even noticed when that happened.  
  
“I’ll go,” he said determinedly. It was the more dangerous part of the work, as they both knew, which was why Dani had volunteered. She always preferred to walk on the wild side, balance right on the edge. Jensen fought her every time, unwilling to let her charge off into danger and staying behind.  
  
She already opened her mouth to protest, but Jensen talked her over. “I’m faster, you know I am.”  
  
“I’m the better the shot,” she countered.  
  
“I’ll be so close to it, aiming won’t be an issue.”  
  
For a moment, she glared stubbornly, then she nodded. Jensen reached for one of the four blast shooters, barrel as thick as his arm, and turned to Cassidy.  
  
“Where do I find it?”  
  
She consulted with her equipment. “Take the lowest tunnel in the cave, the fourth exit to the left. You should hear the sliding sound of its skin then, just follow that.”  
  
“And where do I lead it?”  
  
“The chimera’s path will lead it directly into the cave.”  
  
Jensen gave her a curt nod, Dani put her hand on his shoulder, and he squeezed it. He couldn’t help but think of Jared. If he died, Dani could look after herself, but Jared was always in danger.  
  
“Jared,’” he said quietly. “If he ever needs anything…”  
  
Dani shot him an angry look. “Infinity no. We’ve never done the if-I-die speech, we won’t start now. You come the fuck back to me, you hear me, Jensen?”  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes, but nodded. He knew she’d do it.  
  
“Thanks,” he said and then he was off.  
  
He sprinted back to the cave, slung the blaster over his back and started to climb down the walls. The surface was full of jagged edges he could grip and about half way down, there was a spot safe enough for him to jump.  
  
He went searching for the fourth exit and then took the narrow tunnel. He ran in a fast jog, mindful of the uneven ground, and strained his ears for the hydra. It only took a minute or two before he picked it up, the slightly raspy, slightly slick sound of a hydra's many limbs sliding against each other. Jensen sped up.  
  
There was a sharp bend in the tunnel and when he rounded it, he almost stepped on one of the hydra’s outstretched limbs. He came to a stuttering halt and froze. The hydra didn’t seem to notice him; the limbs kept moving slowly and evenly. It was obviously asleep.  
  
Jensen edged back to the bend, took shelter behind a protruding stone and then aimed the blaster right at the middle of the pile of limbs in front of him.  
  
As soon as the laser blast hit skin, the hydra was in motion. Lightning fast, it unfurled half of its limbs and Jensen had less then a second to duck around the corner, before three appendages, each as thick as Jensen himself, crashed into the wall.  
  
Jensen ran.  
  
He sprinted back through the corridors at breakneck pace, trying not to stumble. Behind him, the hydra was propelling itself forward and gushes of turbulent air pushed at Jensen’s back. He heard the swishing sound of a limb cutting through air, ducked, and the hydra hit the wall, not his head.  
  
The next time he wasn’t so lucky and the hydra literally pulled his feet out from under his body. Still in the air, Jensen twisted his body, hit the ground with a dull thump already rolling himself forward and was up and running again before the fucker could get him. A few drops of the hydra’s spit had fallen on his arm and his hand and were sizzling at his skin. Their digestive juices didn’t have a problem with any organic material and it fucking hurt, but Jensen hoped he’d heal or that Beaver would patch him up.  
  
He managed to evade the hydra until, with burning lungs and shaking legs, he reached the cave. He veered to the left, away from the corridor with the rest of the team and started climbing. He had no idea if hydras did that, but for the moment, it stayed down on the ground and just tried to hit him. From the other side of the cave, someone opened fire at the hydra, giving Jensen enough time to climb high enough to get out of reach. Just when the hydra turned away from him, towards its new foe, Jensen readied the blaster and shot at it again.  
  
He could see Dani’s red hair blinking off in the dark of the tunnel and he called out to her.  
  
“Stop! Don’t draw it to you!”  
  
“It’s gonna kill you!” she shouted back, but the discussion was a moot point because at that moment, Cassidy yelled “incoming” and a new creeper appeared on the opposite side of the cave.  
  
Slowly, it sidled out of a wide tunnel.  
  
“Oh shit.” Dani’s voice was faint, but perfectly audible in the quiet of the cave.  
  
At the new arrival, the hydra had frozen and Jensen could understand that sentiment. The chimera had a worm-like body, washed out black and red stripes covering the body as thick as a ten person transport. What Jensen thought was its head was a gaping hole filled with long, serrated teeth curved inwards, each one easily as long as Jensen’s forearm.  
  
The hydra pulled all of its limbs into a tight ball and Jensen feared that maybe it would just give up, especially when the chimera had fully meandered into the cave and its end, thinned out into a tail like structure, ended in a two-pointed tip that was curved and covered in a loricate structure. It stilled, then raised the tail over its head and clicked the tips against each other with cold, metallic sounds.  
  
Jensen wasn’t sure if it was a challenge or an intimidation tactic, but the hydra rose to the occasion. It exploded into motion, unfurling all its limbs, and for one split second Jensen saw that it really didn’t have a body as a core, in the middle the limbs were connected almost like the center of a spider’s web.  
  
The hydra flung itself at the chimera and covered it with its limbs. For a moment the chimera was still, then it reared ups its tail, started stabbing it the hydra and with its giant teeth, it began to chew through the hydra’s mass surrounding it.  
  
Jensen watched in terror and awe; he couldn’t help it, it was a magnificent spectacle in its simple brutality. He thought he was safe on his perch, but then part of the hydra was flung against the wall with the chimera’s stinger following and Jensen jumped out of the tunnel entrance before a few of the hydra’s limbs slid in there, punctured by the long stinger.  
  
Jensen landed hard on the ground and tried to roll out of the way.  
  
“Jensen!” Dani’s voice was distant, but frantic.  
  
Jensen tried to answer but the hydra brushed him and then, he was in the middle of the melee, trying to weasel his way out of the hydra’s limbs and not getting hit by the foul smelling patches where its dissolving liquid welled out of thick, dark, wrinkled pores. He’d never wanted to be close enough to one of them to see that.  
  
Dani would be so disgusted, he thought with a grin. Then he jumped out of the way, crawled a few paces until he found an opening. He got up and sprinted towards a huge gap between the hydra’s limbs, but then he heard the clicking of the chimera’s stinger.  
  
“Jensen!”  
  
Dani’s voice was definitely panicked now, and she yelled his name again and again. Jensen could only focus on the clicking, the distant tearing of teeth through flesh, then the hydra shifted and suddenly the stinger came rushing right at Jensen. He jumped to the side and the hydra moved with him, burying him under a pile of stinking, goo-oozing limbs.  
  
He yanked the claw from his belt and slashed himself a way out, just so he could breathe. He ignored the burning liquid trying to digest his skin and was almost free when the chimera’s tail came down again and again, stabbing in quick precision.  
  
The hydra impaired Jensen’s movement, he ducked once and rolled over twice but then a sharp pain shot up his arm and he looked down just in time to see the stinger getting pulled out of his arm, leaving a gaping hole behind.  
  
“Motherfucker!”  
  
“Jensen!” Dani sounded more authoritative now. “Cover!”  
  
Take cover where, he thought almost hysterically, but he curled up in a ball and yanked up his arms to cover his head, the pain from the wounds almost making him lose consciousness and then a giant explosion sounded. Even through his closed eyelids he could see the brightness where it radiated past his arms. The ground shook and from the ceiling of the cave, dust and little stone pieces started raining down on him.  
  
There was a distressed clicking sound and then Jensen heard the rapid fire from two blasters and another explosion, and then another.  
  
They were supposed to blow up the tunnel, not the cave where the creepers could maybe escape from, but Jensen already knew that against all logic, Dani was trying to save his life. Stupid.  
  
He managed to get up on all fours and crawl away from the still fighting creepers, but after a few meters his arm gave out and he collapsed, black spots dancing at the edge of his vision. He was about to pass out, Jensen realized, something that hadn’t happened since he’d gotten the additions.  
  
He tried to move and realized he couldn’t, he couldn’t even really feel his limbs anymore except for a dull throbbing in his left arm. He might actually die down here in this stinking cave. He tried to move again and his body didn’t obey. He was lying helplessly on the ground and the two creepers were still fighting, snapping limbs missing him by a hair’s breath. It was only a matter of time until one of them would hit him. Ever since the additions, he’d felt almost invincible during battle. It was hard to believe he could really die now.  
  
Then the world spun and righted itself after a moment, and the feeling in his legs and arms came back, together with a rush of agonizing pain. He might survive after all, he thought, and he realized he wanted to live. Wanted it so badly.  
  
He tried to push through the pain and move away from the creepers, even though every move of his arms made him break out in sweat and almost pass out. But Jensen needed to get out of here. He wanted to cuss Dani out for straying from the plan, he wanted to celebrate another win with the crew, he wanted to get off this planet at some point, find another adventure, he wanted to see Jared again, wanted to see him smile and run his fingers through his hair, he wanted — he just wanted to sleep in peace, curled up next to Jared.  
  
Distantly, he heard Dani’s voice calling him.  
  
He tried to raise his head, caught sight of the limp hydra while the other creeper was sliding away into one of the tunnels, chunks of his body missing with the hydra’s yellowish ooze dripping from them. The hydra had paid with its life but it had chased the other creeper off.  
  
He thought Dani was calling him, but there wasn’t much besides the pain he noticed. Hot wind hit him in the face and he wondered where that came from. Then sand crunched under his feet and the wind howled over the dunes. What the—  
  
“Jensen? Jensen! I swear to the fucking infinity if you die on me, Jensen, so help me, I will--  
  
But Jensen never heard her threats, he was already losing consciousness. He tried to focus through the pain, scrunched up his eyes against the harsh desert wind and his last image was Dani’s worried face above his, then everything disappeared.  
  
  
  


 

 

  
  
  
  
Jensen was late. Like, two hours late. Jared didn’t appreciate that. At all. He knew there could be complications in the mine, but usually Jensen sent him a message. This was the first time Jared didn’t get anything. He’d even sent Jensen a message, but nothing.  
  
Jared had tidied up the apartment even though the cleaning crew came through once a week. He read a bit more in the Concise Encyclopedia of the Andromeda Galaxy and watched an old episode of Love Across the Universe where Winde had been poisoned and killed his adoptive father in a crazed haze. It was all extremely over the top and melodramatic and yet, when it was over, Jared still had to wipe the wetness from his eyes. He blamed it on Winde’s stellar acting and his beautiful single, silent sorrow tear. As soon as the credits rolled, Jared went back to being annoyed. And a little bit worried. It just wasn’t like Jensen.  
  
He tried to call him again, and still nothing. So he called Chad.  
  
“Can I call you back, I just found these awesome interviews with the actors from LATU, like seriously, they’re the most adorable—”  
  
Jared ignored that Chad had just actually used the word adorable for people, and yelled at him. “Chad!”  
  
Okay, so Jared was a little more worried than he thought.  
  
“Dude. What’s wrong?” Chad had gone from fun and fan boy mode to concerned friend immediately.  
  
Sometimes Jared just wanted to kiss him.  
  
“Jensen hasn’t shown up and he’s not answering my messages. Can you — I mean, he never does this, can you just check with the mine?”  
  
“Sure, no problem.”  
  
It told Jared how freaked out he must sound, if Chad didn’t even mock him.  
  
“Hmm, no, looks all normal, all crews who should be — wait.”  
  
Jared held his breath.  
  
Over the line, he could hear Chad type away on his keyboard. “Jensen’s team is accounted for, they all came back, but Jensen and Dani are in the medical wing.”  
  
Jared closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then another. His chest felt constricted, like he couldn’t breathe and he forced his body to relax.  
  
“How bad is it?”  
  
There was a pause, more typing. “Gimme a sec, I’m gonna hack into the vitality monitors.” More typing. “Okay, Dani’s fine, it seems, Jensen — Jensen’s unconscious. I think.” Chad paused, swallowed audibly, hit a few more keys. “I think Jensen’s in a coma.”  
  
Jared let the hand holding his comm sink into his lap. He heard Chad talk, but he couldn’t understand. Jensen was in a coma. Jensen, almost invincible, I-can-balance-on-Dentuuri-and-take-laser-r

ays-for-representatives Jensen was in a coma.

Jared was up and already half out of the door before he realized what he was doing. He was going to see Jensen. Had to see him. He wanted to bang his head against the doorframe, because apparently he’d come to care way more than he thought he did.

It was something he’d have to dwell on later. Right now, he needed to figure out what was wrong with Jensen.

 

 

The nurse at the entrance station of the hospital smiled at him.

“Hey, Jared. What brings you here?”

It was Jason, one of his former clients he had avoided even before he’d met Jensen. He’d never been a regular, but the ground personnel got less pay and less token than the miners so Jared generally saw less of them. He’d try to still be nice and polite, but right now, he wasn’t in the mood for small talk though.

“I need to see Jensen. Ackles. He was hurt in the mines.”

Jason shook his head. “Sorry, Jared, you can’t just—”

Dani burst out of the door leading into the medical tract, red hair a wild mess around her head, black uniform in tatters and barefoot with a bandage covering her entire left calf and her left foot. She was coated in grey dust and walked with a limp, but she came straight for Jared.

“Jared. It’s this way,” she said, voice raspy like she’d screamed herself hoarse.

She gripped Jared’s arm tightly, but he didn’t say anything, just let her drag him along. He hurried to catch up, wrinkling his nose at the smell of burnt flesh, though she seemed fine.

“How did you know I’d come?” Jared asked.

Dani snorted. “Please.”

“Seriously?” How could Jared have been that obvious? He hadn’t even known how bad he had it for Jensen.

“Your buddy Chad called,” she acquiesced. “I still would’ve expected you to show up here at some point. You are in an exclusive contract, after all,” she added with a pointed look.

Right. There was the matter of keeping the real reason for their arrangement a secret in lieu of letting people believe they were madly in love. Oh, the irony.

She led him into one of the private rooms, where Jensen was lying still on a bed. Someone had undressed him, but the sheet was only covering him until the waist. His torso was littered in small scratches already scabbed over, but what drew Jared’s eyes was the nasty, oozing hole in Jensen's left arm. The blood slowly dripping out had a weird purple tint and a net of purple lines spread out from the wound under the skin.

“The purple blood…” Jared started.

“Not normal,” Dani answered curtly.

“What did this to him?” Jared asked with trepidation.

“A chimera.”

“A what now?”

Dani’s mouth pulled into a grim line. “They usually live on the other side of the mountain, but this one took a little day trip apparently, and we were at the most outer edge of the mines. Nasty fuckers, with a poisonous stinger. They’re the ones who took out the other mine, killed everyone who worked there. Now, Jensen isn’t dead yet, but I have no idea if his body can fight this off.”

Jared swallowed. “What does Beaver say?”

“Detoxification,” a rough voice said from behind them. Jared turned around to see Doctor Beaver standing there. “Gonna transfuse his blood.”

Dain raised a sceptic eyebrow. “That’s gonna work?”

“He’s… strong,” he said after a look to Jared. Beaver obviously didn’t think Jared knew. “If it’s gonna work is a whole other matter, but none of the meds I’ve tried aren’t helping and his organs are failing. He should be dead already. The poison needs to go.”

He looked at Jared with kind eyes. “You shouldn’t be here for this. It’s not pretty.”

“I’ll stay,” Dani said before Jared could protest, and he knew he was dismissed. “I’ll call you when there’s news,” Dani called after him as Jared walked out the room.

He left the medical building in haze. Jensen could potentially die and Jared cared a whole lot more about it than he should.

The problem was that ever since Jared had asked Jensen about his nightmares and Jensen had told him about his mistake, regret and grief so obvious on his face, Jared had started to forgive him.

The stories Jensen had told him, about his time growing up, living on the streets with Dani, had made Jared understand why they had joined the Forces. It wasn’t a choice he himself would’ve made, but then he’d never been hungry and on the run from the law before. He couldn’t even imagine what it would have been like to grow up without his mother’s love or care.

Slowly, Jensen had wormed his way into Jared’s heart and now that Jensen was maybe dying, Jared couldn’t ignore it anymore. He was so fucked.

He dialed Chad without really realizing what he was doing.

“How are you doing, man?” Chad asked in an unusually subdued voice.

“You still hording that bottle of shine you got from Aldis a while back?”

“Yeah. It’s somewhere in the back of my closet.”

“Then go find it. I’m coming over and I need to get drunk.”

 

 

Jared woke up with a raging headache and feeling like there was a dead Mellokan space rat in his mouth. He almost fell off the couch when he rolled himself over. He felt around for his comm, checked the messages, and read the one from Dani telling him Jensen was still hanging in there and the blood treatment had worked. He was still unconscious, but not in critical condition anymore. The relief he felt was immediately drowned out by a wave of nausea. He got up and stumbled into the direction of Chad’s bathroom. He made it to the toilet in time to throw up and then pulled himself up at the sink to rinse his mouth. With a groan, he let himself fall down onto the edge of the tub.

Fuck. He hadn’t been this drunk in a long time, maybe ever. But there had been admissions to make and feelings to face. He vaguely remembered telling Chad he had feelings for Jensen, but that he couldn’t trust them because of the awesome sex, and then the fucker had to go and get himself hurt and possibly killed and Jared couldn’t ignore it anymore.

When he felt someone pat him on the thigh, he jumped and fell off the tub.

“What the—”

“Dude.” Chad’s voice was almost unrecognizable and he was squinting worse than ever as he emerged out of the bathtub like an old earth-movie mummy from their sarcophagus. “Not so loud.”

Jared coughed pathetically. “Then don’t scare me half to death.”

Chad glared at him, but with his splotchy complexion and his red rimmed eyes he looked more deranged than dangerous. “I was the one who had to wake up to the sound of you puking. Trust me, I almost joined. It was a close call.”

Jared pulled a face. Thinking of Chad joining him, it made his stomach roll again.

“Let’s not talk about that. Ever again.”

“Let’s not,” Chad agreed.

They were quiet for a while, Chad still lying in the tub, while Jared was sitting on the cool bathroom tiles. There was a little blue bath mat next to his right hand and he started playing with the fraying edges.

“How are you feeling?” Chad finally asked.

“Like crap.”

A snort came from the depth of the bathtub. “I don’t mean physically. I mean, you know, emotionally.”

“Like crap,” Jared repeated.

“Hmmm.” There was a metallic screeching sound, then the running of water.

“Are you taking a bath with your clothes on?” Jared asked and he didn’t know why he was surprised.

“Cold water is good against the headache,” Chad mumbled. “Besides, they’re ripe for the laundry anyway.”

Jared wrinkled his nose, because smelly Chad was disgusting but still a more pleasurable thing to focus on than Jensen in a hospital bed. Which was what he was thinking of now. Awesome. Fuck.

“Are you feeling like crap because he might die or because you think he might not like you back?” Chad asked to sounds of hands or feet splashing water.

“Can we focus on one crisis at a time please? You ass.”

“If _life_ has taught us anything,” Chad intoned, clearly going for wise and falling woefully short, “It is that there’s never only one problem at a time.”

Jared snorted. “ _Life Across the Universe_ , you mean.”

“ _Love_ , you heathen, it’s called _love_ ,” Chad snapped at him. “And hey, these things could happen. I mean, look at us! Our lives are practically a space soap.”

“Yeah, without the romance entanglements.”

There was more splashing behind Jared and when he slowly turned his head to look, he was staring directly into Chad’s face.

“I’m sorry,” Chad asked with a raised eyebrow. “Were you not here for our conversation yesterday?”

Jared closed his eyes. If he wasn't looking, maybe he didn’t have to deal with it.

“C’mon, get up,” Chad said and did just that, raining cold water down on Jared.

“You fucker.”

Chad just shrugged unrepentantly. “You need to take a shower anyway. Then we can head down to the medical wind, see how Jensen is doing.”

“I just got a message from Dani, he’s doing better.”

“So you don’t wanna see him?”

Jared grumbled and went into the shower, while Chad submerged himself in the tub again, this time without his clothes.

“You just want a chance to see Dani,” Jared called over the sound of running water.

“Well, she’s hot,” Chad replied, “If you were a better friend, you’d introduce us.”

From what Jensen had told him about her, Dani and Chad should never meet. It would to lead to nothing but mayhem.

 

 

When Jared and Chad finally got to the hospital — Chad had insisted on hangover breakfast first — a group of people were standing in front of Jensen’s room. Jared ignored the nurse’s desk and headed straight for them. He knew Rob and Alona well and he recognized Captain Elba and Cassidy. They all had worried expressions on their faces and when they saw Jared coming, it got somehow worse. What the fuck was going on?

“Jared, hey.” Rob stepped forward nervously and touched Jared’s arm.

Automatically, Jared shied away from the touch to avoid unnecessary mind flashes and Rob looked abashed.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I know you and Jensen are…” Rob waved his hands around awkwardly in a way that was probably meant to show that Jensen and Jared were in wonderful, exclusive love.

“No, it’s okay,” Jared said, automatically placating. “What’s going on?”

Rob’s eyes flitted over to Elba for help, before he turned back to Jared. “Well, Jensen, he’s…. erm…”

Dread spread through Jared. “What?” he asked panicked. “Jensen’s what?”

“Jared, I’m Captain Elba,” Elba introduced himself. “Jensen was injured when he defended the mine’s parameter yesterday.”

“Yes, I know,” Jared said impatiently. “But he was getting better! Dani texted me and said he was getting better.”

Choppily, Elba nodded. “He was. But now he’s getting worse again.”

It was too much, how they were all looking at him with pity, how they all thought he had some kind of claim to Jensen that entitled him to the truth and their support.

The door to Jensen’s room opened, and Chad and Dani came out. Jared hadn’t even noticed Chad had gone in.

“C’mon,” Dani said, face an expression of forced calm. “You can come inside.”

Hastily, Jared followed her into the room. Doctor Beaver, the Colonel, and Doctor Rhodes were standing around the bed. Beaver and Rhodes were discussing something, but they shut up when Jared came inside and exchanged a look with the Colonel.

“He knows,” Dani said curtly.

Three pairs of eyes looked at Jared questioningly, so he nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

He couldn’t focus on them, not when Jensen was lying pale on the hospital bed, hands, feet, and the middle of his body restrained to the bed with metal enforced leather straps. His arms were constantly moving, pulling against the restraints and his mouth was murmuring inaudible words. It was an all too familiar sight.

When Jared looked away — it was hard enough to see Jensen like that during the night, he couldn’t see him like that knowing he was seriously injured — the Colonel smiled at him, Beaver nodded and Rhodes just looked back down at her pad.

“Well then,” she said in a businesslike voice. “As I was saying, the poison has affected his brain cells. His accelerated metabolism helps breaking down the poison quicker than I assumed, and the latest reading proves it.”

“But not quick enough.” Beaver was worriedly looking at the vitality monitor. “The poison is doing something in his brain.”

“What’s that?” the Colonel asked, arms crossed in front of his chest and looking down at Jensen worriedly.

“Some form of hallucinogenic reaction,” Beaver explained. “He runs through a cycle of horrible visions making him thrash and scream the last few hours. His reaction is more subdued now, but there’s still a lot seizure-like activity on his EEG and his heart rate is elevated at a worrying level.”

“What is worrying?” Dani asked.

“Two hundred sixty-two,” Beaver said. “Normal people would be close to death already. His heart seems to be able to take it better, but I wouldn’t count on it.”

“What does it mean?” Jared asked, his voice raspy. He cleared his throat. “What does that mean for Jensen?”

Beaver’s face softened. “I’m sorry, Jared, but at the slow rate Jensen’s body is fighting off the poison, he’ll die of cardiac arrest before it’s gone.”

Jared could only stare at the doctor. Back home, when his mother had fallen ill, their shaman had said almost the same thing. He’d used less medical words, but the meaning had been the same. The sickness had come to take her and her heart would just give out.

He stood frozen, unable to process anything, the words repeating on a loop in his brain.

“So, let me get this straight,” Dani’s voice cut through the silence in the room, sharp like a knife. “The poison is giving him hallucinations and because they’re so terrifying, his heart will stop? Jensen’s not a coward!” Dani was enraged. “He’s not gonna die because he sees some scary pictures in his mind. How dare you?” She glared at Beaver. “You have no idea what he’s been through, what he’s survived!”

Beaver wasn’t offended by her outburst, if possible his eyes turned even kinder. The Colonel stepped forward and put a hand on Dani’s shoulder while Beaver explained.

“I know this. And this has nothing to do with Jensen being brave or courageous or strong. But his body is put in a constant high stress situation. If a human heart speeds up for a while, that’s okay, the body can take it, but there is a limit. For a normal person this limit would have been reached by now. Now, I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, but whatever he’s seeing in there, it’s highly distressing.” Beaver raised a hand. “And before you tell me about Jensen’s bravery, it might very well be that the things he’s seeing are emotionally distressing. People who watch their loved ones suffer or die can have a similar reaction for a short period of time. If the poison makes him see or experience these things on a loop…”

Dani visibly sank together. “So what can you do?” she asked desperately.

“I tried all the possible medications hours ago.” Beaver’s voice was exhausted. “His body is not responding to any of them. I don’t know what else to do.”

“How about an antidote?” the Colonel asked, looking at Rhodes.

She shook her head. “If you give me a few days, sure. But not this quickly.”

Jared heard the words, saw their mouths move, but he couldn’t process any of it, not really. Again and again, his eyes were drawn back to Jensen’s trashing body. He’d seen this before, Jensen being plagued by his nightmares, but never so violently. The restraints were barely holding him and he kept throwing his head back and forth, muttering “no” over and over again.

Jensen was dying because of his nightmares, and nothing could stop it. Nothing would — Jared wanted to hit himself for not thinking of it sooner. He’d pushed Jensen into a place without nightmares every night. Maybe it would work despite the poison.

“So he’s going to die?” Dani said, voice still full of disbelief.

Jared knew they’d spent most of their life together. He knew it was impossible to imagine losing such an important person.

“I’m afraid so.” Beaver said.

“No.” Dani’s voice was hard. “He’s not dying. I don’t care what that fucking poison is, Jensen is not dying, you hear me?”

“Dani.” The Colonel’s voice was a soothing rumble. “I know he’s like your brother, but—”

“Like?” Dani spit out. “He’s the only family I ever had and I am not letting him die. I’d swore I’d protect him with my dying breath, I am not—” She broke off to take a deep breath and blink her eyes furiously. “He is not dying. Period.”

Funnily enough, it was Dani’s absolute denial that drove it home for Jared. When his mom had gotten her diagnosis, his first reaction had been exactly like Dani’s; he just hadn’t been able to accept it, couldn’t imagine being without her. The only family he’d ever had, the only person he could trust in the world, how could he even comprehend her death? And with every word of Dani’s mouth, it became clearer for Jared. Jensen would die unless Jared tried to help him, even if that meant exposing his secret.

The man he’d been slowly falling for was dying, and he was the only one who could maybe help. After all these years, Jared had found someone he wanted to be with, could be with, and now it was supposed to end before it even really started?

Beaver was still talking, but Jared wasn’t listening, his eyes back on Jensen’s face. Jensen’s lips were red with caked blood, but his body had already healed his bitten lips. His hands were still jerking and Jared knew he couldn’t let him die, no matter what that meant for him.

“Everybody out,” Jared heard himself say while he walked over to Jensen’s bed. “I need to be alone with him.”

The Colonel, Rhodes, and Beaver left without protest. Dani looked at him, eyes defiant.

“You can’t throw me out. I have to be here too.”

Jared nodded. “You can stay. You know anyway.”

“Know what?” she asked confused.

“About his nightmares.” Jared looked at her while he sat down next to Jensen’s bed. “And how I help him.”

Dani sucked in a quick breath. “Of course. Do you think it will work despite the poison?”

Jared had no idea. “Only one way to find out,” he said and reached out to touch Jensen’s head.

It felt different. Jared yanked his hand back, staring at Jensen.

“What?” Dani asked worriedly. “What happened?”

“I—” Jared shook his head, trying to clear it. “Usually, I get nothing, there’s just this almost intangible thing, but now, there were emotions. Nothing that was really there, more like a taste, maybe?”

Dani looked at him completely uncomprehendingly.

Jared wasn’t sure how to explain, but he tried. “This, I don't know, fog-like feel of Jensen’s mind, it was like it was colored or infused with emotions. There was just a hint of them, just a bit, but that’s never happened before.”

Dani nodded. “I see. Good or bad emotions? Wait, don’t say it, stupid question. Just… can you help him?”

“I’ll try,” Jared said and reached back out.

This time, he was prepared for the difference. It wasn’t bad for him, though the thought of Jensen feeling all the negative emotions Jared could sense was jarring. He pushed, just like usual and this time, he felt a resistance. It was as if an invisible sponge was between him and Jensen’s mind, preventing Jared from influencing it.

He pushed harder, tried to find another way, another approach, and just as he finally felt the taint of the emotions recede, Dani’s hand latched onto his shoulder and shook him.

“Jared, stop!”

He was disoriented for a moment, then he became aware of a hammering headache and a wetness running over his mouth. When he reached up to touch, his hand came away bloody.

“Are you okay?” Dani asked concerned.

The hammering in his head was already dimming, so Jared shook his head. So that’s what it felt like if he pushed his abilities to the limit.

“Did it help?” he asked.

Dani checked the vitality monitor. “His heart rate started to go down, I think, but it’s back up.”

“Okay.” Jared took a deep breath. “Again.”

Dani pulled over a chair and sat down next to him. “Are you sure? This looks dangerous.”

Jared wasn’t sure how dangerous it would be, or how much he could hurt himself. It didn’t really matter though.

“He would risk his life for mine, wouldn’t he?” Jared asked.

It wasn’t even a question of how much Jensen cared for him. It was just the kind of person Jensen was, risking his own life to save others.

“Yeah, he would.” Dani didn’t hesitate when she answered. “Within a heartbeat.”

Jared nodded and reached out to touch Jensen again.

“I know you’re not doing this out of a sense of obligation,” Dani said, sounding very sure of herself. “I can see it all over your face, how much you care for him.”

Jared froze.

“I know he can be difficult,” Dani continued, “but he likes you. He really does. When he wakes up again, you should really make a move.”

While the words were balm for his hurting soul, he couldn’t start daydreaming about what a real relationship with Jensen would look like.

“Not the time,” Jared said and pushed as hard as he could. When he felt his head start to ache, he pushed more. He started to lose all feeling for his surroundings, only concentrating on Jensen’s mind.

It took a slap to the face to bring him back. Dani was peering into his face when he blinked his eyes open, already holding a piece of gauze under his nose.

“Jensen’s heart beat is down and his EEG looks definitely less violent than before.”

Jared leaned back in his chair. He felt like he was about to fall over. “Good,” he said, and his vision started getting blurry.

The world tilted off its axis, he heard Dani make a surprised noise and then strong hands were holding him. His head was lolling to the side and everything hurt. Dani called out for someone and then there was a commotion. When Jared was able to take in his surroundings as something other than a blur, he realized he was lying on a stretcher next to Jensen’s bed, a concerned Doctor Beaver taking his vitals, nurse Justin fiddling with something in the background until Beaver sent him out.

He looked up and saw Chad angrily talking and gesticulating at Dani, who had her arms crossed in front of her chest and was glaring unapologetically at Chad.

“You scared us there for a moment, boy,” Doctor Beaver said and helped him sit up carefully. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Jared rubbed his temples. “I feel better already. Must’ve not eaten enough today or something.”

Beaver gave him a look that said he clearly didn’t believe him. “I see Jensen’s heart rate is down and his EEG is miraculously showing dreamless sleep activity. Like someone sedated him, actually.”

Chad and Dani came over, both of them standing protectively on either side of Jared.

“It just happened,” Chad said. “He must’ve handled the poison quicker than you thought.”

Beaver checked something on the vitality monitor. “No, the poison level is still almost unchanged.”

Shit. Jared just hoped what he’d done would last long enough.

Jared tried to give Beaver an innocent look, but from the corner, the Colonel was watching him intently.

“What’s going on?” he finally asked, fixing first Jared, then Dani with a sharp look.

Dani straightened up and looked the Colonel straight in the eye. “Nothing, JD. It’s just like Chad and Jared said.”

“I won’t have you lie to me,” the Colonel said in a low, dangerous voice.

“You’re not my commander anymore.”

“But I am your boss. And Jared’s.” The Colonel turned to Jared again. “Tell me the truth. If this thing comes back and attacks more people, we need to know how to save them.”

“Considering Jensen is a special case,” Dani said, “that won’t apply. He’s saving himself. So the good doc here miscalculated; it happens.”

“Except I didn’t.” Beaver was staring at the monitor, where the EEG had started to show different patterns again, just like when Jensen had been plagued by the hallucinations before. He gave Jared a prompting look. “Go on. Help him.”

Chad gripped Jared’s shoulder, squeezed once. Dani took two steps to the side, brought Beaver between her and the Colonel and interlaced her fingers behind her back, right above where Jared knew Jensen and Dani carried their weapons when they were off duty.

Jensen’s arm jerked and a garbled pained sound came from his throat.

The atmosphere in the room was so tense, Jared could practically feel it. Somehow, he knew without a doubt that Dani would back him up, would kill Beaver and the Colonel if it meant Jared could save Jensen. He really didn’t want it to come to that.

He reached out his left hand, touched Jensen’s sweaty forehead. Closing his eyes he reached out, pushing against Jensen’s mind. The sponge-like barrier was still there, so Jared strained and pushed through.

He remained conscious this time, able to channel his strength better, but he could still feel the headache and the start of another nosebleed.

The room was dead silent when he finally pulled back. Jared looked up to see Dani had her gun drawn, pointing it at the Colonel.

“You take another step,” she said, voice ice cold, “and I shoot you where you stand. You’re not hurting Jared.”

The Colonel was calmly looking at her. “Do you know what this means? What he could be?”

“I know and I don’t give a fuck. He’s keeping Jensen alive.”

“I’ve never hurt anyone,” Jared said, and he was surprised his voice didn’t shake. “Colonel, I’m just here to do my job and earn some money. It’s not my fault that I can do this.”

“You’re a good boy, Jared,” the Colonel said slowly. “But I still need to know. I need to know everything that happens on my planet, especially if it involves something like this.”

“Oh, you mean secret government experiments?” Chad asked with a raised eyebrow. “Pot, kettle.”

“You’ve always been too smart for your own good, Murray.” The Colonel gave him a rueful smile. “Don’t think I'm not aware you’re still doing your business here.”

Chad’s grin was smug. “Well, then it should come as no surprise that if something happens to me, people will know the truth.”

“I’m not interested in exposing anyone, I just need to know what’s going on. And for fuck’s sake, Dani, put the gun down.”

Dani hesitated. “How do I know I can trust you? You still have buddies in the Alliance.”

“Why don’t you ask the good doc over there?”

They all turned to look at Beaver, who was watching Jared pensively. “You’re too old,” he mused. “And you shouldn’t be able to affect Jensen. And yet, you are.”

“Were you one of them?” Jared asked, anger coiling in his belly. He’d always liked Doctor Beaver, but if he had anything to do with those experiments…

Beaver shook his head. “No. But I practiced on Sulaa until the rebels came and hijacked my praxis and my services. Jeff here got me off planet without the Forces getting their claws into me after I patched him up when he was caught in a nitro bomb.”

Chad snorted. “Seriously?”

“Do you trust me now?” the Colonel asked and Dani looked over to Jared.

“Yeah, I guess we have to,” he said and Dani lowered her gun.

“I’m still watching you,” she told the Colonel.

He smiled at her. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. Now, Jared, tell me who you really are.”

And Jared did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_The air was hot. A harsh wind pressed it against his body, his face. Jensen turned, looked around. Where was he?_

_It was too bright to really see. In the distance, he could hear noises — rotations of a carrier shuttles’ propellers, maybe — but there was something that forced him to look left._

_Dirty brown sand, as far as the eye could see, and in the distance, the dunes rose towards the sky. Jensen looked away. The dunes terrified him._

_There were shouts — “take cover”, “get down”, “I got you, go” — and the rapid fire of blaster rifles. Jensen crouched down immediately, looked around for cover._

_Right next to him the dunes rose up. It was quiet again._

_He was standing at the brink, that first valley between the dunes and he stared ahead. The walls of the dune were sprinkled with red — small dots, bigger splotches — and Jensen couldn’t look away. He couldn’t look away because if he looked down, he’d see— He couldn’t look down, he couldn’t._

_The sand below his feet started to shift, to crumble away and then the ground under Jensen’s feet disintegrated and he slid down the sand._

_He closed his eyes, tried to protect his body, but his limbs were so heavy. He was rolling down, flipping over, again and again until he bumped against something and came to a rest._

_He knew what was down here, knew he couldn’t look or he’d never be able to unsee it._

_Jensen’s eyes opened. He stared into the face of a girl. She couldn’t be older than thirteen, strands of dark hair surrounding her lovely face. Her big amber eyes were wide open, staring brokenly at Jensen._

_No. No no no no._

_He got up, scooted back and bumped into another body. Frantically, he stumbled to his feet, heart hammering in his ribcage. He looked around and he was surrounded by a sea of bodies. Jensen screamed._

_He screamed, and screamed, and screamed, until the pain lifted. Quiet darkness started to surround him and he welcomed it._

 

 

Jensen slowly woke up. He was disoriented, blinking against the bright light surrounding him. Someone else was in the room with him; Jensen could hear them breathing.

“Wha—” He tried to speak, but no sound came out.

“Shh, don’t speak yet, boy. Did enough of that the past days. Screamed so loud no one else in the wing could sleep.”

That was Doctor Beaver. Jensen kept his eyes closed. He raised his right hand, tried to make an inquiring motion.

“You’ve been out four days, but you still need more rest. The poison was pretty bad.”

Poison? What poison? Jensen tried to open his eyes again but the light was so bright. His whole body felt sore, raw, as if he’d been skinned alive.

“Rhodes had a field day,” he heard Beaver say, but his voice was already fading away. “New discoveries and all that. She even developed an antidote, not that you’re gonna need that after Jared saved you. But more on that later. Sleep now.”

 

 

The next time Jensen woke up, his body felt well rested, like he’d just spent a week in Jared’s bed. He wasn’t in Jared’s bed though. He was in the hospital wing. He groaned and tried to get up.

“Whoa, no getting up yet!”

Jensen followed the sound of Jared’s voice with his eyes, and there he was, sitting curled up in a chair right next to Jensen’s bed. His relief at seeing Jared was almost palpable, even though Jared looked tired, deep circles under his eyes.

“What happened?” Jensen croaked out, voice scratchy from disuse. “Beaver mumbled something about poison, I think.”

“You were poisoned during an attack. Your DNA additions saved you from dying like a regular human, but the poison attacked your mind.” Jared looked down to his fingers twisting in his lap.

“So I got an antidote?” Jensen asked confused. Why was Jared looking so uncomfortable?

“There wasn’t one,” Jared hedged.

“What does that mean?”

“You were caught up in your own nightmares,” Jared said instead of explaining. His face was gaunt, and he clenched and unclenched his hands. “You weren’t getting out on your own. Your body started to waste away.”

Dread starting spreading through Jensen. He remembered Beaver saying something about saving him. Now, unless Jared had somehow been in the mine and had pulled Jensen out, he had a pretty good idea what Jared had done if Jensen had been having nightmares. “Jared, what did you do?”

“Your heart frequency was up to over two hundred beats,” Jared said. “If I hadn’t pushed you into a dreamless state, your heart would’ve given out. We couldn’t let that happen.”

Jensen closed his eyes. “Jared….”

“You would've died!” Jared hissed.

Taken aback by the intensity in Jared’s voice, Jensen paused. So Jared really cared for him. He hadn’t wanted to let himself believe that this was what Jared’s lingering looks meant, but Jared really cared for him. While knowing this made his heart swell, he couldn’t be happy if Jared had endangered himself.

“So now they know?” Jensen asked.

“Only Beaver and the Colonel. They both promised to keep their mouth shut.” Jared grinned. “Besides, Dani was pretty scary when she threatened to shoot them.”

Jensen was glad Dani had been there to watch Jared’s back, but still. “Jared, you — Look at you, you look like you should be the one in a hospital bed. How much strength did it cost you, huh?”

“I’m fine now, aren’t I?” Jared asked petulantly.

“Jared, you shouldn’t have risked your life like that.”

“Like what?” Jared asked angrily. “Almost dying because I was using too much strength or giving up my secret?”

There was no deciding which was worse. “Both.”

Jared crossed his arms over his chest. “Too bad. I did it. Deal with it.”

“Why?” Jensen asked. He wasn’t sure what answer he wanted. There was one his selfish heart hoped for, but his rational mind dreaded. There was another his rational mind welcomed even though he knew it would sting. With Jared, it could go either way. Jensen couldn’t be sure how deep his affections were.

Jared scoffed and turned away. “Don’t be obtuse.”

“I’m not. So why?”

Jared looked at his hands. “I care for you. A lot.”

Jensen gave him a weak smile. He shouldn’t be happy about this. He remembered that down in the mine, the thought of Jared had been the last he had, but he knew it was just a dream. Jared deserved better than him. He still couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Enough to risk your life? Really?”

Jared shrugged. “You’re not so bad, you know. When you come out of that dark pit you usually curl up in. You’re a good man. You care more for other people’s safety than your own.” He was silent for a while. “Besides, Dani would’ve shot me, if I hadn’t.”

Jensen couldn’t help but laugh, but it quickly turned into a rough cough. Shit. The walls of his throat felt like sandpaper rubbing against each other.

“No laughing yet?” Jared asked.

Jensen shook his head. “No laughing.”

They were quiet for a while. Jensen wondered where Dani was. She was probably trying to give them space or something. Thinking about Dani made him wonder.

“Did she pressure you into this?” Jensen asked. “Because if she did…”

“No.” Jared shook his head quickly. “It was my idea. And seriously, I couldn’t let you die.” Jared leaned forward and took Jensen’s hand. “I wasn’t kidding about the caring for you part, you know.”

Jensen’s heart ached. “Jared…”

“Don’t say no,” Jared cut him off. “Whatever stupid reason you have, don’t. I like you. And you like me, I know you do.”

Jensen raised his eyebrows. Had he really been so obvious?

Apparently Jared _could_ read his mind, because he gave him a sheepish smile. “Sorry, Dani ratted you out. But I had a suspicion, you could say.”

It was right there, if Jensen wanted. Because Jared cared for him. Jared liked him. But then Jensen remembered the nights they’d spent together, how he’d been Jared’s first partner who hadn’t assaulted him with the contents of his mind. Jared might have chosen Jensen, but who did he have to choose from? Never mind that if Jensen was honest with himself, he was in no place to start a relationship.

Telling Jared “no” was one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

“I can’t,” he tried to explain. “And you shouldn't want to.”

“Are you seriously giving me the it’s-not-you-it’s-me-speech?” Jared asked incredulously.

“Jared, you know what a mess I am.”

“Only because you don’t want to get better,” Jared shot back. “Just... talk about it. To Dani, to me, to someone else, I don’t care. Don’t you want to be happy?”

Yes, Jensen wanted. He wanted to be with Jared, go to sleep with him without his nightmares making it a necessity. He wanted Dani to stop looking at him with worried eyes. He wanted to go back how it was before the war, when his life had been one big adventure. Even on Ferasion, when they’d constantly been running from the city guard and fighting to have enough food, he’d been happy. He’d made it work. He wanted to get back there, but Jared didn’t deserve to carry that burden with him.

“I do. But not like this.”

Jared’s face was still disbelieving, so Jensen tried another way.

“When we slept together, back before we started our arrangement…”

“Oh my infinity!” Jared threw his hands up. “Are you seriously beating yourself up about that? Jensen, I wanted to sleep with you, okay? I know I could have said no, but I wanted to have sex with you.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“You know I did, you ass.”

“See, that right there? That’s why you like me!” Jensen said insistently. “I’m the first person who you had sex with whose mind wasn’t overwhelming you.”

Jared scoffed. “Give me some credit. It’s not just the sex.”

Jensen shook his head. “Jared, it doesn’t matter. This just won’t work. I mean, look at us, we’re even fighting over whether we’ll work or not.”

Jared just stared at him, face a stony mask. Jensen watched him, searching for clues as to what he was thinking, but Jared’s poker face gave nothing away. Internally, Jensen braced himself for more arguing. If he knew one thing about Jared, it was that he could be stubborn as fuck.

“Yeah okay,” Jared finally said, “you’re right. It’s a stupid idea.”

“No, Jared, I — what?”

Jared gave him a mild smile. “‘You’re right. It wouldn’t work.”

Jensen tried to feel relief, but all he felt was disappointment. He knew it wasn’t fair, knew he should be happy and not selfishly want Jared’s affection.

“I’ll miss you,” Jensen said, because it was true.

“What?” Jared looked at him perplexed. “I won’t stop seeing you.”

Jensen was confused. “But—”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Jensen, you still need to sleep. I like this exclusive arrangement we have going; it makes my life so much easier.”

“Is that okay for you?” Jensen couldn’t help but ask. He knew, for him, it would be torture. Not that he wouldn’t take what he could get.

“I’m a big boy, Jensen, I can handle it,” Jared said and stood up. “Dani’s out there and probably dying to talk to you, but Beaver said he’s gonna discharge you tomorrow, so just come over in the evening.”

And with that, Jared left. Jensen kept lying in the hospital bed. He wasn’t sure what had just happened. He had the disconcerting feeling he was missing something, but Dani was already coming inside, and from the look on her face, Jensen knew he was in for one hell of a bitch fit. Well, two could play that game.

“Good to see you with your eyes open again.” Dani’s voice was awfully reserved for her supposed joy. Oh well. She was probably long past the phase of relieved and had now moved to angry territory. It was her typical reaction to actual, life-threatening danger.

“Yeah,” Jensen said carefully. “Beaver said he’s gonna discharge me tomorrow. Though really, does it matter what bed I’m lying in?”

Dani just nodded, jaw twitching.

“So what happened down there?” Jensen asked. “Because to me, it kinda looked like you were blowing up the creepers, not the tunnel.”

Dani pursed her lips. “That’s exactly what happened. Rob stayed behind with us and modified a few of the bombs, so me and Idris pulled you out, after we chased the chimera off. The hydra was already dead by then.”

“Not what we agreed on.”

Dani rolled her eyes. “Shut up. As if I would let you die.”

Jensen knew that. But they’d started to build a life here, with other people. “There were more lives at stake here.”

Dani snorted. “If you think I wouldn't let this planet burn for you, you're sadly mistaken. And don't be so surprised, I know you would do the same. Remember when you risked the safety of the entire Mellokan fleet to save me from the pirates?”

“Yeah, but Mellokans suck.”

Dani’s smile turned predatory. “I know what this is really about. It’s about Jared.”

He knew she was right.

Her face softened. “I knew we could make it, okay? And I just had to try.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They sat in silence for a while, just enjoying being alive, but he could still feel that there was something else bothering her.

Jensen sighed. “Spit it out.”

“What?”

Jensen raised a hand to wave it in Dani’s general direction. “Whatever’s eating at you, say it. I can see that something’s bothering you.”

“You talked. While you were having your nightmares,” Dani said flatly.

Shit. “How much did you hear?”

Dani shrugged her shoulders minutely. “Lots of stuff. Most of it didn’t make sense or was too garbled. But you kept talking about the dunes. Shadows covered in rivers of blood. And you know, I thought it was fever talk. But then I remembered.” Dani fixed her eyes on Jensen. “I remembered the day after we delivered the kids and you went back because you hadn’t done the paperwork. When you came back to us, you didn’t say a word for the rest of the night.”

Jensen ground his teeth and looked out of the window. He didn’t want to be reminded of it and he sure as hell didn’t want to tell Dani.

“You gotta tell me, man,” Dani said, strain in her voice. “Speculating is worse than not knowing.”

“I doubt that.”

“Jensen, please. We’re family.”

Jensen closes his eyes. “This one time,” he said. When he opened them, Dani was sitting in a chair next to his bed, face ashen.

“I went back to the camp to sign the papers. The captain there told me I didn’t need to, all paperwork would be destroyed. As of that moment, Operation Mind Hunt didn’t exist anymore. I was to go back to my platoon and wait for debriefing the next day. But you can’t erase an operation if you still have prisoners.”

Dani’s hands had been resting on the bed; now they clenched into fists. Jensen was strangely calm. It was like he was removed from his body, watching himself recount what had happened.

“I asked the captain what would happen to the kids,” he heard himself say. “Told him we were under the impression we’d fly out with them on the prisoner transports. The captain said there was no need, it’d be taken care of. The way he said it, it was obvious. But I couldn’t believe it. Didn’t want to.”

The captain had been calm and devoid of emotion when he’d said it, completely unaffected. But the way he’d worded it and the slight hesitation before “taken care of” was enough. Jensen had turned around, told himself just to go, that it wasn’t his business. But he couldn’t. His feet had carried him over to the edge of the camp of their own volition, toward the prisoner barracks. They had all been empty, doors standing open, no guards around.

Jensen had sniffed the air and followed the scent of pain and fear.

“I followed the smell scent out to the dunes,” he told Dani, his voice strangely monotone. “There weren’t any guards around, but then, you don’t need to guard the dead.”

Leaning forward, Dani gripped Jensen wrist tight, startling him out of his trance-like state. “What did they do to them, Jensen? What did they do?”

Jensen looked at Dani. He’d never allowed himself to think about the “how” before, but he had to. He owed it to these kids.

“They were lying in the ditches of the dunes, down in the shadows. The sand across from them was splattered in blood. I’ll never forget that, red streaks on the brown sand.” He shook his head. “I think my mind is trying to protect myself by remembering that and not their bodies, but it doesn’t really make it any better, you know?”

Dani’s knuckles were turning white, almost crushing Jensen’s wrist. He didn’t mind the pain. It was grounding.

“They lined them up at the edge, Dani. The kids knew what was going to happen to them.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Dani’s voice was raw with desperation. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Carefully, Jensen pried Dani’s fingers off his wrist and took her hand. “I didn’t want you to have to carry that burden. We were the ones who captured them and handed them over in good faith. I couldn’t let you beat yourself up about it.”

“Fuck that!” Dani got up angrily. “So you get to beat yourself up about it alone? That wasn’t our fucking fault, Jensen. We didn’t know!"

“Don’t you think I fucking know that?” Jensen shouted. “Don’t you think I fucking try to tell myself that everyday, that we didn’t know? That we couldn’t have known? That it wasn’t our fault?”

Exhausted, he let himself fall back against the pillows. “But the truth is, we didn’t ask, didn’t question. We were sheep, just like all the other ones.” He gave a humorless laugh. “We were supposed to be the smart ones. We knew how the system worked, we didn’t let them play us. Except we _did_.”

They were silent, until Dani shook her head. “No, man. There was no way. You’re just trying to find a way to make yourself feel less helpless. Trying to tell yourself you could have had control if you’d just paid enough attention. But truth is, we couldn’t have done anything. We were just parts of the machinery, chunks in the chain.”

Jensen turned his head and looked at Dani. “And what made you so wise, huh?”

Dani waggled his eyebrows. “Remember that hot shrink I dated?”

Jensen huffed out a dry laugh. “I call bullshit.”

Immediately, Dani’s face closed off. “I had a life before I met you, you know.”

“Which you’ve never told me about.” It was a statement, not an accusation.

“Because I don’t want you to have to carry that burden.”

Jensen raised one finger and pointed it at Dani. “See, right there?”

Dani snorted. “This is different. What happened in Sulaa, that happened to all of us. My life before… that was my life alone.”

Jensen thought back to their first run-in, eleven-year-old Dani with her long, matted hair and the dirt streaks on her arm. She’d been almost as thin as Jensen, a little better fed, but more scars on her back for it. They’d quickly realized their different strengths and together, they’d managed to avoid the whip and keep themselves well-fed at the same time. While Jensen had shared a few stories from his time at the orphanage, Dani had never said anything.

Jensen nodded. “I can respect that.”

Dani snorted.

“But if you want,” Jensen continued, “I’m here. You shouldn’t have to carry those memories alone.” He paused, thought about Dani being here right now, next to him, knowing and sharing his grief. “Trust me, it helps.”

Dani rolled her eyes, but there was a small smile playing on her lips. “Yeah, maybe someday.” She hesitated, then she looked at Jensen. “You know why I never asked about what happened to those kids? I didn’t want to know. I knew I couldn’t deal with it. So really, I’m just as much to blame as you are. But I knew I had to let it go. And so do you.”

“I saw them Dani, I saw them lying there,” Jensen said with a hoarse voice. “And I see them every night.”

Sharp pain crossed over Dani’s face and she closed her eyes. “I saw my father go into my sister’s room every night.” The muscles in her jaw twitched and her hands balled into fists while she tried to keep her emotions under control. “She told me it was fine, that I shouldn’t worry. I believed her.”

A wave of rage washed through Jensen. He wasn’t surprised, not really, not with how Dani had avoided talking about her family like the Mellokan plague, but to hear her say it out loud, to see her struggle and hurt, Jensen needed all his self-control not make his voice even.

“You were a child,” he said.

Dani nodded and opened her eyes. They were hard and cold, filled with a hatred he’d never seen before.

“Do you think that matters? It doesn’t.” Dani spit out, before her shoulders slumped and her whole posture became one of tired defeat. She sank back down in the chair next to Jensen’s bed. “I didn’t help her. Instead I was jealous that she got more attention than I did.” Dani let out a hollow laugh. “The last time we spoke, we fought. I told her she was the favorite. That I hated her. You know what she did?”

Jensen leaned forwards and gripped Dani’s shaking hand.

“She told me I was right.” Dani’s voice was hollow, her eyes staring past Jensen. He knew she was seeing her sister. “She told me no one loved me and that I should run away. So I did.”

Dani looked back at Jensen. “I went back home three days later. I came just in time for her burial.”

“Did he—”

Dani shook her head. “She did. Left me a letter in our secret place in the garden, telling me she hadn’t meant a single word of what she said, that she needed to protect me. That she loved me more than anything. And the last words I ever said to her were that she was a stupid Mellokan cow and that I hated her.”

Jensen’s heart was bleeding for her. For a moment, Dani slumped forwards and Jensen met her halfway. Their foreheads touched and they just breathed together, until Dani’s matched Jensen’s again.

When she pulled back, the sadness was replaced with anger.

“So do you know what I do with all that crap?” she asked furiously. “I bury it. I focus on the good stuff, on the lives I saved, and sure, sometimes I’m in a dark place and I hate myself, but I know I gotta let go to be happy. And so do you.” She fixed him with a hard glare. “Jared can make you happy. Don’t fuck it up.”

Ah shit. He’d hoped that wouldn’t come up tonight. “Can we maybe not talk about Jared tonight?” he asked.

“What did you do?”

“What was necessary.” Jensen glared at Dani, but she stared right back, unwilling to let it go. “I can’t,” Jensen said. “It wouldn’t be fair to him.”

She looked at him incredulously and then threw her hands up. “You’re so stupid.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“So what are you gonna do now, huh?”

“I’ll still sleep at his place,” Jensen explained. “He said it’ll be fine.”

For a moment, Dani looked flabbergasted, then he could practically see the wheels turn in her head. Finally, she let out a short laugh. “Oh, Jensen. At least that guy has more brains than you do.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

She just leaned over and patted his head. “Nothing. Let me go talk to Beaver; maybe I can take you home tonight. I can’t stand seeing you in a hospital bed.”

With that, she left Jensen feeling completely unsettled. The whole day had been a mindfuck.

He replayed the conversation with Jared in his mind and wondered if he could make it work, be what Jared deserved. He thought about Dani, her thirst for life despite how she’d grown up. He knew he’d been like that on Fersaion. Maybe he could really get it back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first night after the hospital was awkward. Well, Jensen was awkward. Jared was his normal self, because he was sure Jensen was just being stupid and eventually it would all work out. He knew Jensen wanted him. It was just a matter of time before he’d cave. In the meantime, they would just carry on like before, which, as Chad had pointed out, had practically been a relationship already.

When Jensen seemed assured that their arrangement was still okay for Jared, he went back to his sometimes sarcastic, mostly attentive, and funny self.

He finally shared his coffee recipe with Jared, but even when Jared made it exactly like Jensen had told him, it just didn’t taste the same. Thankfully, Jensen didn’t mind having to keep making the coffee.

Now that Jared was sure of Jensen's interest, he finally realized the way Jensen sometimes looked at him. He would give him these soft, almost loving, looks that made Jared feel all warm inside. And then sometimes there were the heated looks that spoke of want and desire, and Jared was not above playing it up. He’d seen enough seductions play out in various minds, it wasn’t difficult to pick something up here or there. Walking around shirtless after a shower, leaning over the counter when Jensen was standing right behind him, or licking his lips after drinking his coffee; he tried it all. Occasionally he caught Jensen staring, but he never called him out on it.

Jensen wasn’t there yet, he needed time. That was okay. Jared would wait.

 

The nights with nightmares became less frequent. Jared still proposed sleeping in one bed so he wouldn’t have to get up every time Jensen started thrashing.

Jensen almost spit out his coffee, when Jared told him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he finally said, sounding slightly strangled.

“Why not?” Jared asked and raised his eyebrows in challenge. “My bed is big enough and I know you get kinks in your neck from sleeping on the couch.”

Jensen’s jaw twitched, but in the end, he agreed. They went to sleep on opposites sides of the bed and despite what every romance movie had ever told Jared, they didn’t wake up accidentally spooning together. Oh well. He still counted it as a victory.

 

 

When they were lying in bed at night, they talked before they fell asleep. In the darkness of Jared’s bedroom and the comfort of his bed, these conversations had a different quality than usual. They reached deeper.

When Jensen talked about his past, Jared didn’t only get the story, now he got the emotions too. Jensen’s hopes and dreams, the pure hunger for life and will for survival he’d always had. And when Jensen asked Jared about how he’d grown up, he told him.

“I never knew my biological parents,” Jared said quietly. “My mom was hunter on a frost planet. Deloona, in case you ever heard of it.”

Jensen hmmed. “That’s where the alam pelts come from. Did you know you were adopted?”

Jared nodded. “My mom never lied to me. When I was little she’d told me the frost giants had brought me.” Jared laughed at the memory. “I was so scared of the ice after that.”

With a curious look, Jensen turned to his side to Jared. “Why?”

“Because I thought if they’d brought me, they could take me away again,” Jared explained. “I wasn’t so far off. In the end, the frost takes everyone. It took her, too.”

“She died?”

“When I was eighteen. She always told me that I should leave; the ice wasn’t my natural habitat, she’d said. And if the Alliance ever came looking for me… but I couldn’t bring myself to leave home, especially not after she left. I kept hunting, and it was enough to keep me fed, but I was never as good as her.” Jared smiled sadly. “It didn’t help that I kind of lost all my friends.”

“How?” Jensen’s voice was soft and quiet.

“I couldn’t touch them anymore,” Jared admitted. “It was so overwhelming, especially in the beginning. I’d always been a touchy-feely kind of guy, so people noticed. Then my first girlfriend broke up with me because of it, and even though I don’t think she ever told anyone, people still realized something was up. And every time they asked, I had to lie. Eventually they stopped asking. But I still didn’t want to leave.”

“So why did you?”

Jared laughed. “Chad.”

“Chad?” Jensen asked.

“Yeah.” It was a good story to tell, Jared thought, but it was late and Jensen had an early morning. “But that’s a story for another night. You should sleep now.”

“Scheherazade,” Jensen mumbled accusingly but he was already falling asleep.

 

 

Jared did eventually tell Jensen how Chad had crashed into his life and Jensen laughed his heart out. It was a beautiful sight, the way his eyes crinkled and he threw his head back, and Jared had to force himself not to lean over and just kiss him. He wondered if he’d miscalculated. He wondered if Jensen would ever want to give this a try and if he did, how long would Jared be willing to wait and hope?

What gave him hope was that some nights, Jensen fell asleep without Jared’s help and didn’t even wake up during the night. Jared never mentioned it, too afraid that Jensen would want to go back to his own place in some misguided effort to protect Jared, but neither did Jensen.

They were circling each other and Jared couldn’t help but feel they were getting closer with each pass.

“You know,” Jared said one evening when he was already lying in bed and Jensen was just coming out of the bathroom. “Life is good right now. I don’t have to lie to people anymore, there have been no more attacks, and I have someone living with me who makes awesome coffee.”

Jensen grinned proudly.

“My biggest worry is that Chad is still pestering me to set him up with Dani.”

Jensen pulled a face. “Let’s not do that. That would be a recipe for disaster.”

“That’s what I thought,” Jared told him. “But apart from that… even Tahmoh has stopped bothering me.”

Jensen cleared his throat and slid into bed.

“What?” Jared asked sharply.

“Nothing,” Jensen said too quickly.

Jared sat up and looked at Jensen. “Tell me.”

Jensen shrugged, “It was nothing really. He wanted me to give you up, I told him that was your decision, and that he should fuck off. So he did.”

Jared harrumphed. He had the feeling there was more to it, but Jensen had already turned off his bedside lamp.

“Can we sleep now?” he asked.

Just out of spite, Jared reached for the book on his nightstand and settled back against the headboard. “Just five more minutes.”

Jensen sighed deeply, but he was asleep by the time Jared finished his chapter. Jared put his book aside and turned off the lamp with a smile. Jensen was getting better, slowly but surely.

 

 

“Do you have plans today?” Jared asked one morning on a weekend.

Jensen hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah, actually.”

He didn't elaborate, so Jared made an inquisitive face.

Taking a deep breath, Jensen sat up straight. “I’m going to see Gen Cortese.”

Confused, Jared tried to figure out why Jensen would do that. “You mean Gen, the girl who runs the diner?”

Jensen nodded.

“Okay,” Jared said slowly. “Why?”

“She used to be a shrink.”

Jared could just barely keep his mouth from falling open.

“Dani talked to her a couple of weeks ago,” Jensen explained. “I think her primary intention was to get her into bed with her, but somehow it turned into a therapy session. Kind of? Anyway, Dani said it helped to talk to her, so I thought…” Jensen trailed off, looking at Jared hesitantly.

“Jensen, that’s great.” Jensen was so relieved Jensen wanted to talk to someone, he didn’t even know how to express himself.

The urge to just lean over and kiss Jensen was there, but he couldn’t, not now when Jensen had just told him he might work on his issues. Instead, he just beamed at Jensen.

Jensen’s expression was a mix of pleased and embarrassed, and Jared was tempted to call it adorable. Chad would have a field day with him.

 

 

When Jensen came back hours later, Jared was buzzing with curiosity. Jensen was definitely not in a mood to talk though, so Jared force himself not to ask.

“Can we not talk about this?” Jensen asked a few days later, when Jared had finally inquired after his conversation with Gen.

Trying not to show how hurt he was, Jared had nodded.

“It's not you, stupid,” Chad told him later when they were out for drinks. “He doesn’t wanna tell you, because he feels like shit and doesn't want you to see that side of him.”

“I don’t know,” Jared mumbled into his drink.

“I do,” Chad said, sounding smug. “Dani told me.”

“Don’t tell me,” Jared teased, “you finally got a date with her?”

Chad pulled a face. “No. But I helped her to re-calibrate the target trajectory for the long range blasters. Apparently the other guys in the engineering department couldn’t give her what she wanted.”

Chad and Dani working on a project… Jared wasn’t sure he could imagine that.

“How did it go?”

Chad grinned. “Awesome. We yelled at each other, she called me a slob, I called her stupid. She punched me in the arm and then, when I left, she slapped me on the shoulder.”

“Wow,” Jared said dryly. “It must be love.”

“Well, it’s nothing like what you two lovebirds have going on,” Chad said pointedly. “But our hate sex is gonna be awesome.”

“That’s an important life goal,” Jared said, though he wondered if Chad wasn’t more invested in his contact with Dani than he claimed.

Jared was tempted to just touch Chad and take a look — not that Chad was ever careful with touching Jared — but he didn’t want to pry like that. If there was something going on, Chad would tell him in his own time, he always did.

Halfway through the night, Tahmoh came in. He shot Jared a short look, before he turned around and left. Next to Jared, Chad and his IT buddy Traci snickered.

“Poor guy,” Traciy said with a smirk. “His pride is just destroyed.”

“Fucker deserves it,” Chad grumbled.

Jared had the distinct feeling he was missing something and then he remembered how evasive Jensen had been when he’d told him about Tahmoh.

“Okay, what are you guys talking about?”

Traci looked at him with wide eyes. “You don’t know? Jensen didn’t come home bragging that he fought for you?”

“Fought for me?” Jared asked incredulously. Jensen had told him they’d _talked_.

Chad pointed at Jared “That right there is why Jensen didn’t tell him. He’s a smart man and he knows when to shut up.”

“Chad, if you don’t tell me right now, I’m revoking your friendship card.”

Theatrically, Chad clutched his chest. “You wouldn’t!”

“Try me.”

“Okay, okay.” Chad chuckled. “Unfortunately I wasn’t there when it happened, but I’ve been told this story by numerous people, so I’m pretty sure I have an accurate account.

“Apparently, Tahmoh stopped Jensen somewhere in the mining complex and told him he had to give up his claim on you, ‘cause you were in love with him. Jensen gave him this super condescending look and told Tahmoh it was your choice who you spent time with and that he should take it up with you. Then Tahmoh said it was by order of the Colonel, who he couldn’t challenge but he could challenge Jensen and honor demanded he fight him.

“Jensen declined again, and Tahmoh got furious. So apparently, Jensen stepped in real close, whispered something in Tahmoh’s ear, Tahmoh turned pale, apologized profusely—”

“He even bowed,” Tracie threw in.

“Yes, supposedly he bowed to Jensen, and then he hurried off. I actually don’t know why I didn’t ask you to figure out what Jensen said. You should get right on that and tell me.”

Jared would, because he was extremely curious what Jensen had said to Tahmoh that had made him _bow_.

“Apparently, Jensen was super respectful,” Traci said with a dreamy smile. “Said you weren’t a prize to fight over, that you were a strong, independent person, and that they all had to respect your decision.” She winked at Jared. “Is he that nice in every aspect?”

“You have no idea,” Chad answered for Jared. “He’s apparently some sex god extraordinaire!”

“Chad!”

Traci sighed. “He looks the part.”

“Can we not talk about my sex life?” Jared asked. He probably wouldn’t mind talking about it at least a little, if there _was_ a sex life to talk about, but as it were…

Chad just grinned unapologetically and mouthed “incentive” at Jared. Unbelievable.

 

 

When Jared got home, he asked Jensen about Tahmoh.

“I know you scared the poor guy into a bow, so tell me what you said to him!”

Jensen rubbed his neck self-consciously. “I just told him that even if he wanted to be a douche and completely disregard your wishes, he still couldn’t challenge me, because I outrank him.”

“How do you do that?” Jared asked. “You’re both regular security guards.”

“Oh, not here,” Jensen said and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. “Back on Waikran. Dani and I had a mission there once and we got pulled into a fight. It’s all very complex, with the challenging and the ranks and the prestige and whatnot, and I ended up fighting this guy and because I won, I now automatically outrank everyone under him.”

“And you knew that guy outranked Tahmoh, because…?”

Jensen put the toothbrush against his teeth and turned it on. “Cause he was the king's cousin,” Jensen said over the buzzing of the whirling toothbrush.

Jared laughed. Unbelievable. Only Jensen could stand there with his pajama pants hanging low from his lips, mouth full of toothpaste, and look all homey and adorable while he nonchalantly mentioned beating royalty in a fight. He couldn’t stop the affection from welling up inside him.

Quickly, Jared turned around to get his sleep clothes. Moments like these, the glaringly obvious and totally comfortable domesticity made him ache for Jensen to finally accept what they’d become. And yet, Jensen remained stubborn.

Annoyed, Jared ripped his tunic over his head. When he turned to throw it into the laundry chute, he caught Jensen staring. Jared raised one brow and Jensen hastily turned away, knocking his toothbrush out of the mouth and getting toothpaste everywhere. Served him right.

 

 

 

 


	8. Part Seven

 

  
  


  
  
  
  
“Hey, you’re gonna come out for drinks tonight?” Dani asked, while they were patrolling the corridor.  
  
After the incident with the chimera, a team had gone back to seal that part of the mine and Jensen’s crew had moved farther away from the middle of the mountain. Their current quadrant was a hotbed for hydra activity, but with the new target calibration Dani and Chad had put on the weapons, it had become easier to fire into the hydra’s center, which held their body tension.  
  
Jensen stopped and tilted his head, but everything was silent.  
  
“Sure,” he answered her.  
  
She nodded thoughtfully. “It’s weird, making a date with you. It’s the first time we’re not living together.”  
  
“I still live with you,” Jensen protested, even though it wasn’t true. Since the hospital, he’d stopped by his place twice to pick up clothes.  
  
Dani patted him on the back. “Hey, it’s okay. The kid’s good for you.”  
  
“We’re not dating,” Jensen said for the umpteenth time.  
  
Dani’s reaction was the same as all the times before. She snorted and rolled her eyes. “It’s your own fault if you’re not getting laid.”  
  
“You know what we should do?” Jensen asked. “We should be talking about your sex life.”  
  
Dani pulled a face. “It’s unfair. Aldis and Alona fell in love, so now they want to be exclusive. I went out with Gen last night and she’s pretty cool, but I have the feeling she never stops analyzing you. I don’t know, I just—” She paused, then gave Jensen a crooked smile. “Ever since you started dating Jared — and shut up, you totally are — I keep thinking that maybe I should try that, like once in my life.”  
  
“You could try with Chad,” Jensen suggested, more as a joke than anything, and while he did get hit on the head, there was something thoughtful in Dani’s eyes. Before he could ask her what the fuck was going on, they both picked up on a hydra's sliding sounds and readied their weapons.  
  
  
  
That night, he got home a little later, tired and still with lingering bruises, but everybody was still alive. He was looking forward to just going to bed, lying down with Jared’s regular breathing next to him.  
  
Even though he loved his nights with Jared, it had grown increasingly difficult to be satisfied with their arrangement. Jensen didn’t know how much longer he could stand being so close, but not close enough.  
  
When Jared actually cuddled closer against his body one morning, still more than half asleep, Jensen thought he’d reached his breaking point. He almost fled out of Jared’s apartment and hurried to work.  
  
He knew that he didn’t need Jared’s help to fall asleep and stay asleep that much anymore. He still had nightmares, but his dreams were filled with longing these days, of a bright smile and brighter eyes. He’d talked to Gen a few times, and while it had emotionally unraveled him, she had also assured him he could have a relationship. Jensen just wasn’t sure if he could do it, and he needed to be sure. Jared deserved that.  
  
Jensen was pretty sure Jared was playing some kind of long game with him, trying to ease him into a relationship by keeping Jensen with him, and it was working. With every day they spent together, Jensen wanted him more.  
  
  
  
He was standing in the locker room, when McLaughlin came bursting in.  
  
“Ackles. The Colonel wants to see you.”  
  
Jensen quickly pulled on his boots. “What’s it about?”  
  
“No idea,” she said. “Just wants to see you. Right now.”  
  
“Dani,” he called back to the showers, “I’m gonna go see JD.”  
  
“Call me,” she shouted back over the rushing water.  
  
Jensen followed McLaughlin out of the locker room and all the way up to JD’s office apprehensively. This was unusual.  


  
  
JD was waiting for him with a grim expression, Jared standing next to him, back stiff and face pale. Jensen had never seen him like that.  
  
“What’s going on?” Jensen asked worriedly. JD had his serious-trouble face on.  
  
“Someone figured out who Jared is, well, _what_ he is really, and called the Alliance.”  
  
Jensen was stunned. “Who? Jensen asked just as Jared exclaimed, “what?”  
  
JD shrugged. “No idea. But I’m gonna find out. I just got a message from an Alliance Security cruiser; they’ll be here in five hours.”  
  
“You have to hide Jared. Stall them somehow.” Jensen was thinking frantically. “Get him on a transport off the planet.”  
  
“Jensen, I have to cooperate. If I don’t comply, the Alliance can take away my mining license.”  
  
“What?” Jared stared, then took a few steps away from JD; towards the door, Jensen noted with pride.  
  
Rage still boiled in Jensen. He knew JD had to look out for himself, but to throw Jared to the Alliance when he knew they’d lock him up… he hadn’t thought he’d sink that low.  
  
“Then why are you telling me?” Jensen asked bitterly, pulling his gun on JD, while moving closer to Jared and plotting their escape route.  
  
JD raised an eyebrow. “ _I_ have to cooperate. I can’t be held accountable for what one of my soldiers does.”  
  
Jensen grinned in relief. That was the JD he knew. He lowered the gun. “Not that I wouldn't have saved him anyway, but it’s nice to know you actually care.”  
  
“Jensen—” Jared started, while JD snorted. “Don’t get yourselves killed.”  
  
“I’ll do my best. Just, if Dani ever wants to sneak in here to make a long distance call—”  
  
JD stepped forward, and clapped Jensen on the shoulder. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Then he let his hand fall and slide past one of Jensen’s pant pockets.  
  
“Thanks, JD.” Jensen nodded grimly and reached for the small knife in his boot. “One more favor?”  
  
JD took the knife and Jensen turned around and pulled his shirt off. JD put the knife to his back without hesitation, he knew where the chip had gone in.  
  
A small incredulous sound came from Jared and Jensen looked over to him to give him a reassuring smile. The incision was deep but small, and while it hurt when JD dug the tracking chip out, Jensen knew he’d heal quickly.  
  
Jensen pulled his shirt back on. “Don’t let them find you with it.”  
  
JD grinned, let it fall into the ground and squashed it with his boot. “Go.”  
  
Jensen turned to Jared who had watched the whole thing quietly. “C’mon, let’s go. And we better find whoever ratted you out.”  


  
  
Silently, Jared followed him out the office and into the elevator.  
  
“Who knew?” Jensen asked curtly. They didn’t have time to dawdle and he needed to know where the threats were coming from. He gripped the comm in his pocket and sent an emergency message to Dani.  
  
“No one,” Jared said helplessly. “I mean, Chad and Dani and Doctor Beaver. But none of them—”  
  
“Do you have any enemies?” Jensen asked, even if he couldn’t imagine anyone disliking Jared. “Someone who holds a grudge?”  
  
“Not really.”  
  
“You must have sent someone away at some point,” Jensen argued.  
  
“Yeah, but I always manipulated them into wanting something else,” Jared explained. “This could just be a coincidence.”  
  
Jensen didn’t believe in coincidences. “So there’s no one who’s pissed—” Jensen broke off when he remembered his confrontation with one of Jared’s clients. “What about your angry ex?” Jealousy could lead to destructive actions.  
  
“Who, Tahmoh?” Jared asked confused. “He didn’t know.”  
  
“Maybe he followed you?” Jensen thought back to the day Tahmoh had intercepted him directly after his shift ended. “He sure seemed to know where to find me.”  
  
“I don’t think he could do something like that,” Jared said quietly, brow furrowed thoughtfully. “But... he was really invested in me.”  
  
Jensen had no trouble imagining what was going on in Jared’s head.  
  
“Don’t,” he said. “It’s not your fault.”  
  
“But I made him think I was in love with him!”  
  
“He would’ve thought that even if you hadn’t given him illusions. Trust me, I know guys like him. The world revolves around them. Right now, we need to focus on not running into him and getting out of here.”  
  
“Right.” Jared let out a hollow laugh while they crossed the open space in front of the mine buildings. “Getting out of here.”  
  
“We’ll be fine,” Jensen said, already running through all the things they needed to do. Call Dani, get weapons and supplies, a small glider, not a mine glider, one from the security on the wall.  
  
“Jensen, wait.”  
  
They would need to find a transport to get them off planet, but currently there wasn’t one. Maybe they could fix up one of the broken ones in the hangar waiting for repair—  
  
“Jensen!”  
  
—or maybe they could call someone, there were people they knew. But then they’d have to wait until they got here, hide from the Alliance, which would be impossible in the city, and really—  
  
“ _Jensen_!”  
  
Jensen stopped, turning to Jared. He took his hands and tried to make his voice low and soothing. “Look, I know you’re scared of the Alliance, but I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?”  
  
Jared shook his head in disbelief. “Jensen, the Alliance is coming here. There’s nothing you can do.”  
  
Jensen snorted. “Of course there is.”  
  
“No. We’re trapped here, there’s no glider here who could take us off planet that can outfly an Alliance cruiser, and I won’t let you get caught up in this!”  
  
Jared was glaring at him and Jensen glared right back. “Watch me. I’m not letting you die.”  
  
They kept staring at each other until Jared finally huffed. “Jensen, I can’t have you die because of me, I just can’t.”  
  
“Who says anybody’s gonna die?”  
  
“Well, how do you plan to escape the Alliance?”  
  
Jensen felt himself grin. “This is what I’m good at. What do you think Dani and I did before we joined the Forces? Escaping the authorities was our specialty.”  
  
It was true. Knowing they were on the run, had to fight for their lives, it brought the old thrill back. Jensen knew that Dani would have his back, no matter what plan he decided on. They’d never failed so far, they wouldn’t start now.  
  
“C’mon, we’ll need supplies until we can get someone to get us off planet.”  
  
“You know someone who’ll face Alliance wrath?” Jared asked.  
  
Jensen patted his pants pocket, checking that JD’s present was still there. “It won’t be a problem.”  


  
  
On the way to the supply building, Jensen gave Dani a call. JD had already brought her up to speed and she agreed that they needed to get off planet.  
  
“I have a few people in mind,” she said. “Wait, gimme a sec — fucker!”  
  
“What’s going on?”  
  
Dani huffed. “Chad’s annoying me, thinks he’s got all the answers.”  
  
In the background, Jensen could hear Chad yell something about how he knew who to call, he had the perfect person to get them off planet. Dani yelled back at him to shut up.  
  
“You’re a fucking IT nerd, why don’t you let the people with experience handle this?” Dani bit out.  
  
“Excuse me?” Chad’s voice was indignant. “You have no idea what I did—”  
  
“Oh please.”  
  
“I’ve been evading the Alliance for years!”  
  
“Good job, Chad, you want a pat on the back?. I’m still the soldier and I—”  
  
“That’s enough!” Jensen roared into the phone.  
  
Everybody shut up and Jared looked at him questioningly.  
  
“Just figure it out,” Jensen snapped and hung up.  
  
“What’s going on?” Jared asked worriedly.  
  
“Chad and Dani.”  
  
Jared snorted. “We’ll never make it out alive.”  
  
They entered the hangar and Jensen told Jared to find them a glider while he scoured the buildings for weapons with enough firepower. He knew there was only one way to escape the Alliance and he would need the best weapons JD had in stock.  
  
He had to shoot up the door of one of the storage containers to get to the good stuff they only used for emergencies, but he was pretty sure JD wouldn't mind.  
  
Jared returned after a while on a slim hover glider.  
  
“This is what we need, right?”  
  
Jensen nodded. “Yeah, this is perfect. Here, I got the bags.”  
  
He handed Jared a big backpack, keeping one on his own back. “Any chance you know how to use one of these?” he asked and held up a double force blaster.  
  
Jared eyed the weapon critically. “I can shoot a gun, if that’s what you mean. Never handled something like that, but aiming is still the same, right?”  
  
Jensen raised an eyebrow in question.  
  
“I used to hunt, remember,” Jared said slightly annoyed.  
  
“Yeah, but alams are tiny creatures.”  
  
Jared gave him an amused look. “You know nothing about what else lives on my home planet, right? Trust me, I can handle this.”  
  
“Fair enough.” Jensen was glad Jared could looking out for himself.  
  
“That being said,” Jared said and eyed the gun, “this one looks a tad bigger than anything I ever shot.”  
  
Jensen gave him the gun and pointed at the trigger and the reload switch. “Shoot here, reload here if you have time. Brace it against your shoulder, here,” Jensen touched the crook of Jared’s shoulder and arm. “Don’t underestimate the recoil, it’s a bitch with this one, but out there, we’ll need the firepower.”  
  
Jared looked at Jensen wide-eyed, but he took the gun and slung it over his back. “Out there? You mean, out there?” He pointed towards where the mining complex bordered onto the forest.  
  
“There’s no other place we can evade the Alliance.”  
  
Jared swallowed. “Exactly how long will we be out there?”  
  
“A day and a half, I hope. Depends on what Dani manages.”  
  
“You’re insane.” Jared shook his head. “We’ll never make it.”  
  
“Jared, we need to get to a spot where a space shuttle can land, and our options are limited. I’m not saying it’s gonna be a walk in the park, but I’m not gonna let you die, okay?”  
  
Jared swallowed, then nodded. “Okay. This is completely insane, but okay. I trust you. If you say we can do it…”  
  
Jensen grimaced.  
  
“Oh goodie,” Jared said faintly, and turned to the glider.  
  
Jensen just reached for the last bag, when he heard someone enter the room.  
  
“Who’s there?” a raspy voice he recognized called out.  
  
Jensen drew his weapon and aimed it at the approaching figure. When he checked on Jared, he was pleased to see, he’d also raised a small handgun from the bag.  
  
“Tahmoh?” Jared asked incredulously when the guy came into view.  
  
“Jared? Ackles? What are you doing here?”  
  
“I should shoot you where you stand,” Jensen bit out, “but I don’t like killing people.”  
  
Tahmoh raised his hands when he saw the weapons pointed at him. “I understand your displeasure. I tried to stay away from Jared, but I ran into him once. Please, I apologize.” He gave a little bow.  
  
Jared actually laughed. “Jensen, I really don’t think it’s him.”  
  
Tahmoh looked at them in confusion. “What are you talking about?”  
  
“Someone on this planet ratted Jared out to the Alliance. You know anything about that?”  
  
There was honest confusion on Tahmoh’s face. “Why would anybody betray you to the Alliance? And for what?”  
  
“Not important.”  
  
Tahmoh just shook his head. “Whatever it is, I would never. My honor forbids it. You are _sarl_ , Ackles, and I am bound by your word.” Tahmoh bowed again.  
  
It was really unnerving and Jensen had the feeling Jared thought this whole thing was hilarious. Which was probably just the fear finding another outlet, but he really didn’t need Jared to break out in hysterical laughter now.  
  
“Is there anything I can assist you with?” Tahmoh asked. “I am _rork_ , a good fighter.”  
  
These ranks meant nothing to Jensen, their assignment on Waikra had only lasted a few days, but he recognized a proud warrior when he saw one.  
  
“That’s a very noble offer,” Jensen said, “but you can’t help. I won’t ask you to follow us out there.”  
  
Jared’s comm went off, just when Tahmoh incredulously asked if they wanted to go out into the jungle.  
  
Before Jensen could answer, Jared cut in. “They’re here. Chad said the Alliance cruiser just landed.”  
  
“There’s a small gate, right behind this building,” Tahmoh said. “I’ll bring you to it.”  
  
He hurried off to a backdoor and Jensen got onto the glider behind Jared. “You fly, I shoot.”  
  
“I really hope there won’t be a lot of shooting,” Jared mumbled, and steered the glider out the building where Tahmoh was waiting at a small gate.  
  
It slid open with a slightly rusty creak and Jensen looked up until he found the little camera. JD had security all over the place, Jensen just hoped the Alliance wouldn’t get to see it.  
  
“You should be far away from here when the Alliance shows up,” he said to Tahmoh, who bowed again.  
  
“Good luck, _sarl_ Ackles. Good luck, Jared. May your journey end in peace.”  
  
“The same to you,” Jared said softly, then he hit the accelerator and they flew out into the dense green foliage.  
  
“Where are we going?” Jared asked Jensen, who was concentrating on his hearing and his nose so he wouldn’t miss any creepers.  
  
“Right, towards the mountains,” he answered. “We have to stay down so the Alliance can’t see us and I’m not sure where we’ll meet whoever Dani and Chad get here, so for now we just move alongside the mountain.”  
  
Jared’s shoulders were tense, but his hands on the glider’s handle were steady. “Okay.”  
  
  
  
It didn’t take long before Jensen picked up on an aircraft above them. A small Alliance helicopter was flying over the forest, looking for them.  
  
“That’s not good,” Jared said.  
  
“Nope. They’ll definitely attract the wrong kind of attention.”  
  
The helicopter flew between them and the mountain, then took a sharp turn and came straight for them. Shit.  
  
“Go left!” Jensen ordered.  
  
“That’s right into the deep jungle,” Jared protested, but he was already turning the glider.  
  
“Jared, we’re going to get shot at in about ten seconds, hit it!”  
  
Jared did.  
  
Jensen had no idea where he’d learned to fly a glider like that, but he wasn’t complaining. It took the Alliance thirteen seconds to open fire on them. Sloppy.  
  
Jensen took out the parts of the slim rocket launcher and screwed them together. The people on the helicopter — not soldiers, but members of the Alliance security guard, a kind of private police for the security council — had trouble aiming at them flying so low in the jungle, so most of their shots went wild, but Jensen knew they could get lucky any moment.  
  
“Keep it steady!” he yelled at Jared and turned around so he was straddling the glider with his back facing Jared.  
  
“Keep it steady, he says,” he heard Jared mumble. “Sure, flee from the Alliance but keep it steady.  
  
Jensen couldn’t help but grin. This was exhilarating. He raised the shell launcher and aimed. He wasn’t entirely familiar with the trajectory it would have, and he realized in his haste he’d forgotten to pack the scope, but he’d make do.  
  
He fired, the recoil sending a jolt through the glider and the shell exploded directly in front of the helicopter. It didn’t destroy it, but it would confuse them.  
  
He was just about to turn around when he picked up in the stench.  
  
“Jared, go left.”  
  
“What? No, I can’t, the vegetation’s too thick there—”  
  
“Jared!” Jensen repeated firmly. “Left.”  
  
Jared did and just in time. In front of them the trees were toppled and two manticores were lying in the clearing. They weren't fighting, but moving in a slow rhythm, rubbing their bellies along each other, while dark purple tongues covered in little yellow nubs were licking along their bodies. Mating manticores. Great.  
  
“What the—” Jared said but veered further left.  
  
Jensen had about a second to marvel at Jared’s driving skills. The manticores however had already picked up on them and Jensen saw them pull apart slowly and open their giant mouths into silent roars. Apparently they were not pleased at being disturbed.  
  
Behind them, he could hear the rotor of the helicopter. Well, it was about time the Alliance met the inhabitants of this wonderful planet.  
  
“Go right!”  
  
“But that’s where the creepers are!”  
  
“See the swath they left?” Jensen asked. “Head for it!”  
  
Jared did. They rushed past the manticores in a tight curve just before they disentangled themselves and got up.  
  
Jensen looked back and saw the helicopter descend to shoot at them, saw them open fire and hit one of the manticores. The manticore reared up, and with a giant blow, it hit the helicopter. Unfortunately, the other manticore was charging after them.  
  
Jensen got out the nitro capsules. They were highly explosive so he handled them carefully — the back of a fast moving glider was not ideal — and loaded the nitro gun with them.  
  
He opened fire on the manticore immediately, and the capsules detonated on impact, sending blue flames licking over the manticore’s thick hide. It didn’t slow down, so Jensen fired again and again.  
  
When he heard the movement from the side, it was too late. The other manticore crashed into their path, Jared swerved, but the tail of the glider still collided with a tree and they were sent flying into the underbrush.  
  
Jensen managed to land in a crouch and he immediately went looking for Jared, who’d landed into a small brackish pond. Behind them, the manticore was trampling the glider.  
  
Jensen put a finger to his mouth and as quietly as they could, they made their retreat. Unfortunately, there was still the second manticore. It came chasing after them, and Jensen continued to shoot at it while he and Jared ran through the bushes and big leafed plants, stumbling across roots and stones.  
  
Jared was quick on his feet, with good reflexes, but the manticore was too quick. It snapped its jaws, suddenly right behind them. Jared dove to the side behind a tree and Jensen fired right at its eye.  
  
“You want a snack?” he yelled at it. “I’m right at here.”  
  
Small eyes glaring beadily, the manticore turned to him.  
  
“Jared, make for the mountains!” And Jensen sprinted off.  
  
The manticore came charging after him and then everything happened very fast. Jensen managed to get off one last nitro bomb, exploding on impact, a blast of heat swooshing by him, then he could feel the creeper right behind him. Jensen dove to the side, sharp pain seared down his back and then — with a giant thump — the manticore crashed to the ground.  
  
Jensen rolled off the tree root he’d landed on and tried to breathe through the pain. Fuck. Fucker had ripped open his back.  
  
He could feel his shirt get wet with blood immediately. It was a big wound, he could feel it, and if manticore wounds were anything like those of a cerberus, it would not heal. _Fuck._  
  
With a groan, he managed to sit up and survey his surroundings. The manticore was lying before him, covered in dirt and blood, but still twitching slightly. The trees around them were destroyed and there at the other side of the creeper was Jared and he was — he was running towards Jensen.  
  
“Jared!” he called out as soon as Jared was in earshot. “Go. It’s still alive.”  
  
Jared took the double force blaster from his back. The manticore reared its head, the snout with the giant teeth opened and Jared just turned to it and fired right into its opened jaws. The manticore managed two more steps forward and Jensen pushed to his feet, he had to save Jared, had to get him out of the way—  
  
The manticore snapped its mouth open and closed, spit flew from his teeth and tongue and covered Jared, but he just moved back and kept firing until finally the manticore collapsed at his feet.  
  
Jensen stumbled across the clearing and stopped next to him. Jared reached out to steady him and Jensen focused on standing. The bleeding in his back wasn’t stopping.  
  
“That,” he managed to get out between ragged breaths, “was pretty impressive.”  
  
Jared gave him a pleased smile. “Remind me to tell you about that time with the rayka.”  
  
“Later,” Jensen wheezed out, “now we have to get you out of here.”  
  
His comm had buzzed in his pocket a while ago and he fished it out. It was a message from Dani; coordinates. He entered them into the little navi he’d picked up.  
  
“Okay, we basically just have to make a beeline from the mountain.”  
  
Jared squinted up to the sky. The light gray was slowly turning into darkness. “Can we make it before nightfall?”  
  
“No,” Jensen said. “Let’s find some cover.”  
  
After searching for at least half an hour, they found a tiny cave covered by a huge stone. They curled up next to each other with the weapons they had salvaged. Jared was almost instantly asleep, fatigue pulling him under, but Jensen stayed awake.  
  
The long night was filled with the noises of the creepers moving around, but none came for him. The cut on Jensen's back was still oozing blood, and it didn’t look like it would stop on its own. He could already feel the blood loss affecting him. He’d never make it to the shuttle like this.  
  
Slowly, he reached out and allowed himself to card his hands through Jared’s hair. It was just as soft as he remembered. It was a good memory to have.  
  
The thought burned bitter; he wouldn’t have a lot of time left to cherish it. But then, Jensen had been kidding himself if he thought they could escape together.  
  
The moment JD had cut the chip out, Jensen had made the top five of the most wanted list. Even if Jensen survived — which was highly unlikely — it would be way too easy for the Alliance to find them if they stuck together. They’d have to split up. It was what Jensen and Dani had always done when they were chased through Ferasion’s streets. While they had always met up later, him and Jared might not have that luxury. Jensen’s heart ached, but Jared’s safety was more important. Not that the cut on his back still gave him that option.  
  
Back in the mines, lying between the hydra and the chimera, Jensen had wanted to live. Now, he still did, but there’d never be a chance of being with Jared now. It took away a lot from the life Jensen had wanted to have.  
  
He thought of Dani, and how much she’d cuss him out if she could hear him. She’d be fine, though. She’d watch after Jared, and if the way she was fighting with Chad was any indicator… the only person she’d ever yelled at like that was Jensen, and even he hadn’t suffered that kind of verbal abuse. Dani really liked Chad.  
  
Yeah, she’d be good and she’d watch over Jared. With Jensen dead, the Alliance might be appeased. If Dani and Chad had time, they could maybe even manipulate the tracking chip. From what he’d seen, Chad was _maybe_ good enough to pull it off.  
  
They’d be fine. Jensen just had to keep telling himself that.  
  
  
  
When Jared woke up again, they still had several hours until daylight.  
  
“So,” Jensen said softly, “tell me about that rayka.”  
  
There was nothing wrong with making a few more memories, and Jared telling stories were some of his favorite ones. His eyes would get that gleam, the dimples would dance across his cheeks, and his smile lit up his whole face.  
  
Jensen only heard about half the words. He had to focus his attention on Jared's face, commit every one of his beautiful expressions to memory.  
  
When Jared was done, he leaned back against the stone.  
  
“Chad texted me. Told me they found who ratted me out.”  
  
“Who was it?” Jensen asked, feeling the anger rise again.  
  
“Justin. The nurse at the medical center.” Jared rubbed his face. “He used to be a client. I didn’t like him much, he was kind of cruel and into humiliating stuff. I didn’t see him often.”  
  
Jensen put a reassuring hand on Jared’s shoulder.  
  
“He was annoying too, always complaining that he got fewer tokens and less money than the mining personnel. Apparently he overheard us talking.”  
  
“Fucker,” Jensen bit out. “What did they do?”  
  
“Chad said that he and Dani went to confront him, but then the Colonel showed up. Apparently he tracked the call too. I don’t know what they’re gonna do with him.”  
  
Jensen could guess. JD might be hard but fair, but his authority was absolute. Jensen doubted the guy was still alive.  
  
“Jensen?” Jared asked, but it was more of a prompt.  
  
“I thought you couldn’t read my mind?”  
  
“Doesn’t mean I can't pick up on your body language.”  
  
Jensen sighed. “I doubt JD will be kind to him.” No reason for speculation.  
  
Jared hummed but Jensen had a feeling Jared knew what he was talking about.  
  
Until it was light enough to leave their hideout, they were quiet. Just sitting shoulder to shoulder, arms brushing each other. The air was filled with tension and Jensen could feel Jared’s eyes on him, but he didn’t turn towards him. He wanted nothing more than turn to Jared and kiss him one more time, but it wouldn’t be fair.  
  
They shared a few food concentrates, and when it was enough light to moving, they crawled out of their hideout. Jensen’s shirt was caked with dried and flesh blood and he saw Jared eye him worriedly.  
  
“Jared—”  
  
“No.” Jared held up a hand and shook his head. “Forget it. I know exactly what you want to say and I’m not leaving you behind.”  
  
“I can’t keep up,” Jensen said. “I can’t move quick enough.”  
  
“So we’ll go slow.”  
  
Damn Jared and his stubbornness.  
  
“No. Without the glider it will take too long. Someone needs to stay and draw the creepers.”  
  
Jared raised one eyebrow. “What, because I can’t handle them?” he asked with a cold voice.  
  
“Look, Jared, I know you were a hunter,” Jensen said exasperatedly, “but this is different, okay, this is—”  
  
“Oh, fuck you!” Jared burst out. “Didn't I just prove that I can handle it? You’re just too scared to give this a chance!”  
  
“I am fucking dying,” Jensen roared back, because that was _it_. “I won’t risk your fucking life for me.”  
  
“It’s my life to risk,” Jared shot back. “And you still look pretty healthy to me, so I am not giving up on you.”  
  
Jensen was just about to go for a snappy reply, when Jared drew the blaster from his back, aimed it to Jensen’s right and it was a testament to his tiredness that Jensen only then heard the approaching creeper.  
  
He spun around just in time to see a hydra approach lightning fast, only it was not even the tenth of a size that a grown one was. It was maybe as big as a human, and when Jared fired at it twice, shooting right into the center of the twirling limbs, it fell lifelessly to the ground.  
  
Jared cocked an eyebrow. “You were saying?”  
  
Jensen realized he was gaping, so he closed his mouth. “That — yes, but… no. Jared, no.”  
  
With an irritated snort, Jared walked over to him until he was so close that Jensen could see the golden specs in his multicolored eyes.  
  
“If it were Dani and you, would you leave her behind?”  
  
The answer was obvious, but it wasn’t the same.  
  
“See?” Jared came even closer so that they were almost chest to chest. “This is exactly the same.”  
  
“Not really,” Jensen croaked out, because nothing like this was even remotely like it was with Dani.  
  
Jared must’ve realized that because all of a sudden his hands came up to cup Jensen’s face and then he kissed him. For a nanosecond, Jensen was frozen, shocked by the feel of Jared’s soft lips pressing against his own, then he reacted, drawing Jared in tighter and moving his mouth.  
  
Jared sank into the kiss, opening his mouth to kiss Jensen deeper. It was hard and desperate, all-consuming in its intensity. Jensen got lost in that kiss, in the feel of Jared and it took a rustling in the nearby trees for him pull back.  
  
Another little hydra came charging at them, followed by a second one right on its heels. He reached for his gun and fired the same moment Jared did.  
  
“There must be a nest around here somewhere,” Jared said calmly, but the flush on his cheeks and his dilated pupils gave him away. “We should move.”  
  
“ _You_ should move,” Jensen countered.  
  
“No take backs,” Jared said. “You kissed me, Jensen, you sealed the deal. We’re leaving together or we’re not leaving at all. And if you don’t think I won’t sit down here with you until we run out of firepower and both get eaten, then you’re sadly mistaken.”  
  
“Jared,” Jensen tried one more time, “we’ll have to split up anyway. If we want to escape the Alliance, we have a way better shot separately.”  
  
“How is that even an argument?” Jared growled. “As if it’s okay that you die, just because we have to split up? Which also stupid by the way. Just get it into your head, I am not fucking leaving you here!”  
  
Jensen gave up. They didn’t have time to stand around and argue.  
  
“Fine,” he bit out, “but if I lose consciousness, you’re leaving me. You’re not going to carry me to the mountain.”  
  
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Jared muttered under his breath.  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes and started towards the mountain. Every step hurt, but he didn’t feel terrible.  
  
“I think the bleeding has stopped,” Jared said after a while, his tone entirely pleased. “Your shirt stopped dripping blood.”  
  
Jensen realized Jared was right. It seemed his body was finally starting to heal. Relief flooded through him and he smiled at Jared. Smiling back, Jared leaned over to press a soft kiss to his mouth.  
  
It was such an innocent, yet intimate gesture, Jensen was dumbfounded by the powerful emotions it triggered in him.  
  
Before he could voice any of it, the rest of the hydra nest came crashing through the forest.  
  
“Incoming,” he said quietly and they readied their guns.  
  
They shot a few, but Jensen knew there were too many.  
  
“Run!” he yelled at Jared and they took off through the forest.  
  
Jensen fired the occasional blast behind them but it was only due to the fact that baby hydras apparently weren’t that quick yet and a fight broke out between them, that they managed to shake them off.  
  
  
  
After that, it was only a few hours to the mountains. Another helicopter was patrolling the sky, but it didn’t dare fly low enough to spot them. Out in the jungle it was warm, probably warm enough to hide their thermal signature.  
  
Jared and Jensen had both abandoned their jackets, walking in tank tops. They had to stop once more because a hydra and a manticore were involved in a bloody fight. They watched in a safe distance until the hydra encased the manticore completely and sat in a vibrating lump while the manticore’s resistance died down.  
  
  
  
When he reached the mountain and saw a little transport pod waiting for them, Jensen almost collapsed in relief.  
  
He’d know Dani would come through, get them off this planet somehow, but it was still a good thing to see. They climbed into the little pod, almost too small for both of them and Jared grinned.  
  
“Hey, I think this is the exact same model Chad crashed into my house.” He caressed the controls with his fingers. “Well, maybe a later generation.”  
  
Jensen snorted and pulled the door shut. The pod whirred to life and took them up to the mother ship. Jensen wasn’t even surprised to see it was the _Charlie_. He’d thought that Chris would be someone to bend the rules, for the right price.  
  
“Of course Chad would get us out of here,” Jared said with fond exasperation.  
  
“Actually, that would've been Dani’s doing.” Jensen couldn't help but feel a little smug.  
  
“Nope. That up there is the _Charlie_ and the _Charlie_ belongs to Chris.”  
  
Jensen stare at Jared. “How do you know Chris?”  
  
Jared shrugged. “We hitched a ride on our way out here. He’s an old buddy of Chad’s. Something about a card game where they almost got killed by a smuggler and Chad saved Chris’ life.”  
  
“Really?” Jensen asked amusedly. “Because see, when we met Chris, he told us he almost got killed by a stupid hacker who didn’t know how to play an open space card game.”  
  
That made Jared break out in a beautiful, full-bellied laugh and Jensen had to laugh with him. In the small room of the pod, they were sitting side by side and it didn’t take much for Jared to lean in and kiss Jensen. For a moment, he let himself sink into the feel of Jared, then he pulled back.  
  
“Jared, we can’t.”  
  
Jared stared flabbergasted. “Why the fuck not? I thought you finally got over yourself:”  
  
“That’s not what this is about,” Jensen tried to explain. “Look, I helped you escape, I cut out my tracking chip. For the Alliance, I’m a very expensive, very deadly weapon on the loose and they’ll come after me hard. If the two of us stay together... Jared, there won’t be a good one corner of the entire universe we can hide in. But if we split up, we actually have a chance.” He looked at Jared imploringly, willing him to understand. “I can draw their attention and you and Chad have a shot of getting out.”  
  
“No,” Jared began. “I don’t care about how hard the Alliance is gonna come after us. We can make it.”  
  
“The chances are one in a million,” Jensen argued. “Splitting up, it’s the safe plan. I know, and you know it too. They’ll be after me hard, and I can throw them off your trail.”  
  
“Why are you fighting this so hard?” Jared asked and for the first time, his eyes were pleading with Jensen. “We could have something real here.”  
  
Jensen swallowed around the lump in his throat. There were so many reasonable reasons why being with Jared was not a good idea, especially not when they wouldn’t be safe.  
  
The _Charlie_ was suddenly looming big and silver in front of the pods window and a guidance ray brought them to a docking station. If Chad and Dani were on board, maybe they’d back him up about splitting up. At least Dani would. She knew it was the smarter plan.  
  
Jared was still watching him expectantly, and Jensen was running out of arguments. He wanted Jared. He wanted their weird form of domesticity, the coffee brewing and the telling of stories in the dark before going to bed. He wanted to touch Jared and kiss him, but above all, he wanted him to be safe.  
  
If they escaped Wora, the entire wrath of the Alliance would be after them. An enhanced and a soldier from the additions program escaping together... there wouldn’t be a single place for them to hide.  
  
Without him, Jared would be safer. He’d have choices even. There were other humans outside the Old Galaxy. Who knew how different their genetic makeup could be? Who knew if Jared wouldn’t be able to find someone else?  
  
“I’m sorry,” Jensen said finally, when he couldn't stand Jared’s inquiring expression anymore, “It just won’t work.”  
  
He could see something change in Jared’s eyes, like the light in them went out.  
  
“Okay,” he said softly.  
  
His expression was utterly crestfallen, so open and raw, it made Jensen’s heart ache. Jared was unhappy and it was completely his fault.  
  
“I guess if a near-death experience doesn’t change your mind, nothing will,” Jared said with a hollow voice.  
  
Before Jensen could reply, the pod docked at the _Charlie_ , and the door opened. Dani almost jumped inside, gripped Jensen around the arm and pulled him out.  
  
“Fuck, Jensen, you fucking ass, how could you do that, huh? Just go out into the jungle without me?” She kept yelling into his face, all her concern and worry pouring out through red hot rage and Jensen took ít.  
  
It was her way of showing affection and Jensen bathed in it. Eventually, he just drew her into a hug. It was so unusual for them, Dani immediately shut up.  
  
Over her shoulder, Jensen saw Chad talking to Jared, gesticulating wildly and happily, but Jared’s joy was dimmed. Chad seemed to pick up on it, because he threw Jensen a filthy look and herded Jared out of the room.  
  
“This is weird,” Dani mumbled against his shoulder.  
  
Jensen let go of her. “Sorry.  
  
Dani sighed. “I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on. What's your new argument for blowing Jared off, huh?”  
  
Jensen raised an eyebrow. “I thought you at least would understand.”  
  
“Not really?”  
  
“Dani, we have a much better chance to escape if we split up. If we stay together, the Alliance will send everything they got after us. If we split, we can draw them to us and Jared and Chad can get away safe.”  
  
“Huh,” Dani pursed her lips. “That sounds almost logical.”  
  
“Almost?” Jensen asked incredulously. “What do you mean, almost?”  
  
She sighed. “If we leave them, we can’t protect them. Besides, Chris agreed to fly us out of Andromed, for the right price of course. But he’ll do it and then we’ll be safe. The Alliance won’t send troops there and we can deal with a few bounty hunters. It’ll keep us sharp.”  
  
“Dani,” Jensen started to protest.  
  
“What are you scared of here, Jensen? I mean, really?”  
  
Jensen drew a deep breath. “I’m his only choice. He shouldn’t have to choose from just one.”  
  
She regarded him carefully. “You’re right,” she finally said. “You are his only choice. And I have already decided I’ll watch him and Chad. Seriously, that guy will get himself killed just by tripping over one of his cables. So unless you wanna go off alone…”  
  
Dani was right about the protecting. If they got out in time, he could keep Jared safe from the bounty hunters.  
  
“Even if he’ll find someone else someday,” Dani said quietly. “Wouldn’t you want to have this at least for a while?”  
  
Jensen closed his eye. Yes, he did.  
  
There was one more thing he needed to know. “What about the nurse?”  
  
Dani made a rude noise. “I wanted to shoot the fucker, but Chad said Jared wouldn't approve. We were just debating in what hole to throw that weasel when JD came in. One of his people tracked the call to the Alliance, I guess. JD told the nurse that he’d fucked up, big time, and the guy didn’t even get a word out before JD pulled his gun and shot him. Just like that.”  
  
Jensen nodded and he felt an ugly satisfaction burn in him. “I’m not surprised.”  
  
“Neither am I,” Dani said, then she walked away and Jensen turned his eyes to the _Charlie's_ window.  
  
Just like the last time, Chris appeared.  
  
“Sorry about all this,” Jensen said and waved towards Wora.  
  
Chris shrugged. “We’ll do a hyper jump. My engineer tweaked it a bit; they won’t be able to follow. And getting one over the Alliance is always fun. Besides, Dani compensated me generously.” He held up his hand with a small cube of annium.  
  
“With this baby here, I can retire,” Chris said with a grin.  
  
Jensen gave him a smile. “If you get us out of here.”  
  
“Not a problem,” Chris turned around to walk towards the bridge. “Our shields are up, they can't even see us. And Jensen? I’m glad you found someone.”  
  
Chris disappeared and Jensen kept standing at the window. He held onto the railing of the hyperjump, and when they came out of it, he went looking for Jared.  
  
His expression, so utterly sad and defeated, it haunted Jensen. He couldn’t leave Jared like that.  
  
Jensen found Jared in a room close to the kitchen, eating a bowl of stew.  
  
“I haven't said thanks,” Jensen said after a pause.  
  
“What for?”  
  
“For you saving my life out there.”  
  
Jared snorted. “You saved mine. I’d say we’re good.”  
  
They were silent.  
  
Jensen thought about what to say. But how to explain?  
  
With a sigh, Jared finally stood up. “I’m gonna go take a shower. I reek.”  
  
He turned around and Jensen watched him walk away, watched how his shoulders slumped and his upper body heaved from a deeply inhaled breath. Watched how Jared dragged a hand across his face and heard the slight hitch in his breath.  
  
“Jared.”  
  
Jared stopped, looked back at him. “Yeah?”  
  
There were so many things Jensen wanted to tell Jared, so many things he wanted to explain. How it wasn’t only sleep he found in Jared’s arms, but peace. How Jared’s presence had soothed every one of his wounds that had been open and festering before. How Jared brought the only light to his life that didn’t trigger a violent flashback.  
  
He wanted to tell him how much he admired him for his strength and tenacity, how much he adored his witty and dry humor. He wanted to explain that Jared was the most beautiful living being he’d ever seen and that Jensen would willingly give his last breath to protect him. But the words didn’t come.  
  
Jared’s face fell, and he nodded. Then he started to turn around again.  
  
“I love you.”  
  
Jared froze.  
  
“I can’t explain myself without you thinking I’m insane,” Jensen said, and swallowed. “But I do. And you don’t have to say anything, now or ever. I know I’m not in the right place, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be. I still think this is a bad idea, but I can’t see you like that. And the thought of being without you, it tears my heart out. I just-”  
  
Jared whirled around, and with two big steps he flung himself into Jensen’s arms.  
  
“You’re so fucking stupid. You stupid, stupid man, you.”  
  
Jensen buried his nose in Jared’s hair and breathed in his scent. “So who’s stupider? The stupid guy or the guy who wants to be with him?”  
  
Jared pressed a kiss to his neck. “You’re stupider. Now shut up and take a shower with me.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
“And the rest, we’ll figure out,” Jared said, still smiling brightly. “The only problem, really, is the money, since I don’t know if JD will pay us.  
  
Jensen took Jared’s hand and led it to his right pants pocket. The little cube JD had put in there was still there.  
  
Jared pulled the annium out of Jensen's pocket and eyed the almost palm sized chunk.  
  
“This is insane!”  
  
Jensen snorted. “Our whole life is insane.”  
  
Right on cue, Dani’s and Chad’s voices were carrying up the corridor, something about what would be more efficient to escape the Alliance, shooting their ship or hacking their board computers, but then they were drowned out by the whirring of the hyperdrive generator.  
  
Jared’s eyes cut down the corridor towards their friends. “Not entirely our fault.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Jensen said slowly, “we’re the stupid ones who are friends with them.”  
  
Jared gave him a fond smile and gripped the rail with one hand and Jensen’s hand with the other. Together, they watched out of the window, saw the plethora of stars, then a jerk went through the ship and the star’s light came at them in long rays until everything disappeared in a flurry of white, black and crystalline light and the _Charlie_ made the hyperjump.  
  
Jensen wasn’t sure what the future would hold for them or where they’d end up, but he was sure they’d find a way. Maybe it wouldn’t be a happily ever after, but they’d be together.  


 

 

 

 


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Epilogue is pure indulgence on my part because I wanted to bring the Love Across The Universe storyline full circle. Please excuse the sillyness.

 

 

 

 

  


 

  
“Infinity fucking shit bomb!”  
  
Jared looked up from the _Encyclopedia of the Second Solar System Belt in the Andromeda Galaxy_. Chad was sitting in front of the comm board, pressing buttons in rising agitation.  
  
“Is everything okay?” Jensen’s voice came from the doorway.  
  
He was holding a coffee pot and a cup, the delicious aroma of his special spice mix wafting over to Jared’s nose.  
  
“I can’t get the fucking reception,” Chad yelled and hit another few buttons.  
  
Jensen looked at Jared in utter confusion, but Jared just shrugged.  
  
Behind Jensen, Dani appeared, staring angrily at Chad. “Fucking infinity. Murray, if you can’t get the fucking reception to work in the next three minutes, I’m gonna cut off your ears and feed them to the garbage worms! If I miss the premiere of the new _Love Across The Universe_ season because you’re an incompetent fuckwit, there’s gonna be bloodshed.”  
  
“Well, how about you get your fucking ass over here and help me, instead of hurling unfounded accusations at me?” Chad looked up to glare at her. “Oh wait, that’s because you’re too stupid to help. Fucking brawns, no brains.”  
  
The continued to insult each other, but Jared didn’t pay them any attention. If there was one thing he’d gotten used to on their three months on the _Charlie_ , it was Chad and Dani yelling at each other. Jensen said it was a good sign and that Dani only really cared for people she insulted on a regular basis. After Dani had dropped various degrees of condescending pretty boy remarks whenever Jared was around, he’d really been relieved.  
  
And Chad… well, Chad was a tactile guy and he still hugged and touched the shit out of Jared, but Jared hadn’t gotten a single flash of blue flowers since their first week of travel.  
  
“I don’t know what’s going to be worse,” Jensen said thoughtfully, sitting down next to Jared with two cups of coffee and handing him one. “Their arguing or their fucking.”  
  
Jared took his coffee and leaned against Jensen’s shoulder. After all this time, he still couldn’t get enough of these undisturbed touches, the warmth of another body without insistent flashes of their mind.  
  
Jensen put an arm around Jared’s shoulder and began to absently drag his fingers up and down Jared’s arm. It was heavenly. Jared took a sip from his coffee and closed his eyes.  
  
There was a victorious hoot from Chad, and an enthusiastic “yes” from Dani and then the title melody for _Love Across The Universe_ sounded through the common room of their compartment on the _Charlie_.  
  
There were more voices and rustling when the rest of the crew and the other passengers appeared. Jared opened his eyes and saw that even Chris had taken a seat in front of the giant projection screen.  
  
“Insane,” Jensen mumbled. “They’re all insane.”  
  
Jared pinched his side and watched the screen. “It’s really compelling.”  
  
Jensen just snorted, but he kept petting Jared, his fingers slowly wandering to the back of Jared’s head and scratching his scalp.  
  
Never taking his eyes off the screen, Jared leaned over to press a kiss to Jensen’s cheek. The preview showed the events of the last season, Samwi getting kidnapped by Lez’Aza, Winde’s worm hole adventure, the big fight, and finally their reunification in the halls of the Wise One.  
  
“It’s only an hour,” Jared said, letting his hand rest on Jensen’s knee and drawing small circles with his fingers. “Then everybody will clear out again.”  
  
On the screen, Samwi and Winde were standing in front of the old woman who announced that they would receive answers to all their questions now. Her tone was ominous and Samwi and Winde took each other’s hands and looked at her in apprehension.  
  
That concluded the review and the _Love Across The Universe_ title card flashed across the scene, the lettering this time coated in spirals of blood.  
  
For a moment, Jared was distracted, because Jensen turned his head to press a short, hot kiss to Jared’s mouth.  
  
“One hour,” he said, his voice that low rumble that never failed to make Jared’s pulse speed up. “I’m taking you up on that.”  
  
Just when the old woman was about to speak, Bra’aydy appeared. Jared couldn’t stop his eyes from rolling; the show had an unhealthy habit of bringing back characters believed to be dead.  
  
In the ensuing mess — the screaming (Winde didn’t know Bra’aydy, an old friend from Samwi’s earlier days), the inevitable fight (because of course it was revealed Bra’aydy had an evil agenda all along, which Jared wasn’t sure about because he’d only seen a few of the old episodes, he wasn’t a binge watcher like Chad) — Jared could lean closer to Jensen, and enjoy his strong fingers still running through Jared’s hair.  
  
He let his mind drift, run through what was waiting for them — unknown worlds, foreign customs, possible dangers — but it didn’t really worry him. Chad had kept his promise and would go wherever Jared would go, and now he had Jensen too.  
  
It wasn’t the perfect romance you saw in the Starwood movies, not by a long shot. If Jared didn’t help with the sleeping, Jensen was still occasionally plagued by the nightmares and he hadn't talked to anyone about it since they’d left Wora. In his mind, it was punishment for his failures and there was nothing Dani or Jared could say to change his mind.  
  
They had their fair share of arguments — Jensen could be withdrawn and there had been a few occasions where his sarcasm had bitten too deep — and Jared knew he was partly to blame. Something was up with Jensen, something Jared knew he had caused with something he’d said a few nights ago, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what it was.  
  
This was the first time in two days they’d sat next to each other without either starting a make out session that would leave to some very intense sex or sitting in uncomfortable silence, not touching each other.  
  
Jared turned away from the screen where Winde was dangling from some sort of stony cliff and Samwi was sure to save him any minute, and looked at Jensen.  
  
“You have to tell me what’s up,” Jared said quietly.  
  
Eyebrows raised in surprised Jensen looked at him. “What do you mean, what’s up?”  
  
Jared huffed. “Ever since two nights ago, you’ve been off. I know it must have been something I said, but I have no clue what that is. So, tell me. We can’t go on this, this trip, adventure, whatever it is, with something between us.”  
  
Jensen’s face hardened. “You want to do this now?”  
  
“Yes,” Jared said emphatically and was immediately shushed by three people. “Yes,” he said more quietly. “Come on, Jensen, whatever it is—”  
  
Jensen let out a hollow laugh. “Okay, fine. Chad did his usual fake drama ‘you’re abandoning him’ routine when you refused to rewatch that crap show with him and you told him, you’d rather spend the night with me, the only guy who ever really got you.”  
  
Jared stared at Jensen, waiting for more, but he’d fallen silent. “I fail to see how that’s something bad,” Jared said dryly.  
  
Jensen dragged a hand through his hair, a surefire sign he was exhausted. “Jared, I am the only guy who gets you, because I’m the only one you ever met who’s mind didn’t overwhelm you as soon as you touched them.”  
  
“Yeah,” Jared agreed, “but that’s not—”  
  
“You don’t really have a lot of options for relationships! As a matter of fact, apart from Dani, I’m currently the only one!”  
  
More people turned around to shush them angrily, and Jensen got up and left the room. Jared sat in stunned silence for a moment, then he hurried after him.  
  
“Wait,” he said when they’d left the room, grabbing Jensen's arm. “You think — you still fucking think I’m only with you because I can’t see into your mind?”  
  
Jensen raised one eyebrow pointedly. “No. I’m not that stupid, I know you care for me.”  
  
“Care for you?” Jared sputtered. “Sure, yeah, I _care_ for you. Let’s go with that. So I still fail to see the fucking problem.”  
  
“You didn’t have a choice!” It exploded out of Jensen. His green eyes were glinting angrily and his mouth was pulled into a thin, harsh line. “There was no selection. It was basically either me or no one. So you chose me, rather than being alone. I just—” Jensen broke off, and turned away. “You shouldn’t have to settle, just because you think you won’t find someone else. Who knows what will happen on the human colonies in Andromeda. They’ve been separate from the Old Galaxy long enough, maybe you’ll encounter more people whose minds you won’t be able to read. People who aren’t as dark and broken as I am.”  
  
Jared watched Jensen’s shoulders slump, watched how he inhaled a deep breath and straightened himself up, bracing himself for whatever was to come.  
  
“So, if you find someone else,” Jensen said hoarsely, never turning around, “I won’t hold it against you.”  
  
“Oh my infinity, you _idiot_!” Jared gripped Jensen’s shoulder and pulled him around. “We’re not in a fucking space soap here. I _love_ you, okay?”  
  
Jensen opened his mouth to protest and Jared pressed a finger against his lips. “Don’t. If you tell me, I don’t know what love is, I’m gonna punch you in the face. If you tell me, I’m settling, I’m gonna cut your ears off and feed them to the garbage worms.”  
  
The corners of Jensen’s mouth twitched.  
  
“Or I’ll have Dani do it,” Jared acquiesced. “She’ll help me and you know it. Jensen, I am not settling and I’m not with you because you’re the next best thing. I’m with you because I fucking love you. You’re the strongest, most honorable and kindest person I’ve ever met. You’re caring and considerate, you always put other people first, you’d rip your arm off to give me the galaxy.”  
  
Jensen’s expression softened and Jared pulled his finger back.  
  
“Your sarcasm is awesome, you make the greatest coffee I’ve ever had, and you’re probably the most beautiful creation in the galaxy. I can’t believe how lucky I am I found you, okay?”  
  
Jensen looked at him, like he was debating whether he should say something, then he just stepped forward and kissed Jared senseless.  
  
When they came up for air again, Jared leaned against Jensen. “You know, if you wanted to make your own heartfelt love confession, now would be the time.”  
  
There was a giant commotion from inside the common room, some people jubilating in glee and others groaning and booing. Over the noise, Jared could hear Dani scream, “I knew they were brothers! I knew it!” and in the stunned silence there was Chad’s pleased voice.  
  
“Well, incest is best.”  
  
More yelling broke out inside and Jensen laughed into Jared’s neck. “I put up with you having _that_ as a best friend. I think that says it all.”  
  
Jared snorted and buried his face further in the crook of Jensen’s neck, pressing his entire body against Jensen’s.  
  
“You’re right,” he agreed quietly.  
  
When people agitatedly left the common room, Jensen didn’t let go of Jared, and everybody had to walk past them. The people paid them no attention, they were too caught up in rehashing the episode. So Jared just leaned against Jensen, the quiet and dark center of his universe.  
  
It was an indeterminable time later when Jensen spoke. “I love you.”  
  
Jared smiled. “I know.”  


 

 

  
  
  
  
The End

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't yet, check out [lightthesparks](http://lightthesparks.livejournal.com/)'s [her masterpost!](http://lightthesparks.livejournal.com/114401.html).
> 
> If you want to chat, you can find me on tumblr [here](http://ashtray-thief.tumblr.com/)


End file.
